Year 627, Silla

There were no words to describe the immense sadness and pain the Hwarang felt at the moment. Sungwoo’s knuckles had turned the same color as the chrysanthemum in his hand. His eyes had started watering the moment he entered the room; now, they were sliding down on his cheek and dropping onto the ground. The younger Hwarang were trying as hard as they could to not cry out loud, but they choked up and sobbed when it was their turn to place the chrysanthemum in her casket. Even Gwangmin^*, who nobody had ever seen cry before, shed tears and walked back to his place in line with jagged, uneven breaths.

The leader of Sungwoo's team, Sungwoon, put his hand on the younger Hwarang's shoulder when he saw Sungwoo wipe his tears with the sleeves of his uniform.

“It’s not your fault,” Sungwoon said quietly. “You were busy fending off the intruders and guarding the palace. Sungwoo. It’s not your fault she died.”

This only made Sungwoo cry harder. In his mind, her death was his fault. If he had followed Jisung’s team to protect the townsfolk, maybe she could’ve lived. If he had left the palace when Sungwoon told him that everyone had evacuated, maybe he could’ve saved her. But he was stubborn. He didn’t want to listen to anyone tell him that no one else was inside when Sihyung wasn’t with the other members of the royal family. That’s why he ran back inside to look for her. And because of that, his team had to wait for him to come back outside before joining the other teams. It was because of Sungwoo’s stubbornness that Jisung’s team didn’t have enough backup to save hundreds of lives and prevent homes from being burnt down to the ground. He was the reason Sihyung died at the hands of her own kingdom’s soldiers.

Sungwoo couldn't hold back his tears as he plopped the chrysanthemum next to Sihyung's folded hands. When he saw the cresent moon pin he gave her three years ago in her hair, he broke down. Gwangmin and Euigeon had to pull him up from the floor as they cried. Sungwoo couldn't even stand properly at this point.

"Hyung, stop crying," begged Gwangmin as he shed silent tears. "Let Sihyung-noona leave in peace."

Sungwoo really wished he could. He really wanted to stop crying and get over her death as quickly as possible, but is was impossible. He had given his heart to Sihyung. How could he move on if she took it with her when she died?

...

*Guanlin's name in the chapters that take place in Silla will be Gwangmin due to the fact that there was most likely no Taiwanese people, or foreigners in general, who were Hwarang. And in order to keep this story realistic, any other member's/idol's/trainee's real names will be used if they are using stage names but have a Korean name; if they're foreigners, I'll try my best to create a name that's similar to their real names.

Shiin's Corner

the first chapter of this book wasn't supposed to be this sad, but after listening to《downpour》for an hour straight, i felt sad and couldn't continue writing the original chapter that was much more lighthearted

maybe i should listen to more happy songs when i write