Final

Metanoia
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So I had to write this magical realism short story for my English class and this is what I produced. Part of me feels that the reason Amelia's first friend is Chen is because I was listening to Nosedive on repeat while writing this. I'm free till July 29 so I'm thinking maybe I'll go back to this, edit it, and include more fluff and romance into it and make it longer so everything doesn't seem rushed. It's rushed in this because I was supposed to keep it 1000 words but it ended up being 1355 but oh well. Idk, what do you think? I'll put a poll down below.

It wasn’t unusual for Amelia to storm into her room with overflowing rage followed by a loud slam of the door. It wasn’t unusual for of her stepmother to be the cause of her displeasure. And it was nothing out of the ordinary for Amelia to remain silent while her stepmother did all the talking and shouting for her, at her. Sitting down on the edge of her bed, Amelia tried to calm her heavy breathing; caused most likely by the argument rather than sprinting up the stairs, and found herself pondering why the gods bestowed upon her this banshee of a stepmother and a father who is her puppet. Letting out a heavy sigh Amelia fell backwards onto her bed, her hands unconsciously reaching for the vintage locket that hung from her neck; as it usually did in times of stress and anger. The locket, a parting gift from her deceased mother, was light blue with extravagant swirls in the design of a flower and as she ran her fingers along the edge, Amelia found a piece of engraving that seemed to have magically appeared.

 "Alis propriis volat." Amelia read softly before her locket shone brightly and Amelia shielded her eyes. The light dimmed after a second and Amelia lowered her arms to find herself still in her room, staring up at a familiar white ceiling. Apart from the fact that her locket had just emitted light, nothing appeared out of place until she approached her bedroom window. Peering out she could see that she was no longer on Earth; she saw what began as trees with roots planted on the ground grow to become skyscrapers while other trees that looked normal had leaves that shone and lit the way like lampposts; the faraway green hills rose up to a peak that looked like a rollercoaster track, and in the sky behind hung Earth instead of the moon. The ground looked as if it were still water, undisturbed, and as Amelia made her way to step outside, she feared that she would disrupt the calmness of it.

 "You’re not from here." An unknown voice started, breaking the silence and Amelia’s reverie. “Welcome to Kalopsia, my name is Chen.” The same voice warmly welcomed. Amelia looked up to find herself facing a boy the same age as her who towered a few good inches over her. He had soft facial features that suited his gentle voice, and the warm smile his face wore displayed a single dimple on his right cheek. It took a few moments of gawking from Amelia before she muttered a shy greeting and an even quieter introduction but Chen didn’t seem to mind. It didn’t take long for their friendship to blossom and grow, Amelia had a warm, inviting personality and Chen was a kind enough to help Amelia adjust to Kalopsia.

 "Those words are the only way you’re getting in and out." Chen had once explained, while pointed at Amelia’s locket.

 "Do they have a meaning?" Amelia inquired, smiling softly at Chen.

 "It means ‘she flies with her own wings.’" Chen had replied with gentle eyes and a kind smile. Their conversations were light, full of curiosity, and stress relieving for the both of them. Amelia found Kalopsia relaxing and peaceful, an es

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Should I edit this to make it more fluffy, romantic, slow things down, and have a clearer ending?

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yeoja12
#1
Chapter 1: I've come back to your story a second time, after having some time to think about it. I like the idea you have and the symbolism you use. It really gives the writing meaning. I don't think you necessarily need to make it fluffy or romantic, but I think it would be nice to know a little more about the relationship between Amelia and Chen. I also think it would be good to know more about why Kalopsia is important or what it represents to her, and why her decision of where to live was so hard. As for the ending, I like that it is unclear. It let's the reader interpret it in their own way!