A sliver of a moon hung in the cloudy night sky, just like on the night they had first met. The wind whispered between the trees, whipping dead leaves and sand in small eddies around their ankles. Andy shivered. He searched Junjin's eyes for a trace of warmth, of recognition, of anything – a trace of hope for him – for them.

 

“Leave, Andy. Before it’s too late.” Junjin's eyes were ice cold as he gripped the hilt of his dagger. He wished Andy hadn’t followed him out here.

 

I was careless. That was his weakness. He was careless – too careless to notice he had fallen irreversibly in love with Andy; too careless to realize they were in too deep with no way out. Too careless to understand the consequences until the demons were at the door.

 

“No. I won't. I said I wouldn’t leave you.” Andy recalled the promise they had made, and how they had battled demons within and without to keep it. He wasn't about to break it now, not after all they'd been through. He steadied his voice, and he didn't falter as he took a step forward.

 

“I forgot that rotten promise long ago. You should too. It'll only get you killed.” The words were bitter on Junjin's tongue.

 

“You’re lying.” Andy challenged him.

 

As if I could ever forget. The memories were seared into his heart, as deep as the scars they criss-crossed – the fleeting happiness they had before the violence and destruction set in, before he started becoming someone – something – he couldn't recognize.

 

But he was tired. Tired of fighting, tired of trying to keep the monster within him at bay, tired of this losing battle where every defeat opened fresh wounds on skin and soul. Tired of the terror that gripped him every time he found out he had nearly killed Andy.

 

Andy took another step. “Nothing that you do can make me leave. I'll always be by your side, and you know it.” His eyes never left Junjin’s as he reached out to touch his forearm. And Junjin knew Andy was courageous enough to see his promise through.

 

Which is why I have to do this. He made up his mind after waking one day to find himself covered in blood, confused, then horrified at the huge gash on Andy’s forehead, the mess strewn across the room, and the fractured rib and bruises he knew were his doing. He was coming undone, and he was dragging Andy down with him.

 

“Don’t be stupid, Andy. You'll regret this. Stop worrying about others. Look where that got you!” Junjin hissed. “Don’t throw your life away for nothing.”

 

Nothing. Yes. He was good for nothing. And there was nothing he could do. It was only a matter of time before the evil within would consume him completely, and Andy along with him. Though this would bring pain to the one he loved – the only one he would ever love –it was the only way to end this wretched curse, before it ripped them both to pieces.

 

“Nothing? Yes. Nothing. I regret nothing, Jin. Every moment with you was worthwhile. I'd do it all over again in my next life, and the next, even if it turns out the same.” Could he hear him? Did he understand? I want to spend all my lifetimes with you, Choongjae.

 

Andy’s words poured out of his mouth, urgent and pleading, spilling over the brim of his soul, his voice almost cracking under their weight, and for a moment Junjin feared his resolve might shatter there and then, along with his heart. He wanted so badly to let go, to forget everything and pull Andy into his arms, and tell him yes – yes, I love you too and I never want to let you go – but he stamped out the thought and set his jaw. Sentimentality would only get them both killed.

 

“You’re a fool. I told you to stay away, but you didn’t listen. And this is the price you must pay.” Junjin shoved Andy hard, so hard that he lost his footing and stumbled backward, but Andy didn’t let go.

 

Junjin gritted his teeth. Don’t make this harder than it has to be, Andy. He pulled back his fist and struck Andy in the face, fast and hard, then kicked his feet out from under him. I’m sorry for always hurting you. But soon, you’ll be free.

 

Andy gasped as he hit the ground. His chest hurt and he wasn’t sure if it was his injuries or his heart tearing in two as he watched Junjin come unraveled in his despair. It wasn't fair. Why? Why was fate so cruel to someone as kind and selfless as Junjin?

 

“Listen to me, Jin! We will find a way!” He tried to keep the panic out of his voice.

 

“It's too late.” There is no other way, Andy. We tried. “You gambled on a monster and you lost.” The anger in his voice gave way to regret, thick and choking. The sound of metal on metal rang out as Junjin drew his dagger and landed his foot on Andy’s back. This is it. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes.

 

Andy wheezed as the pain in his chest got worse. He struggled against the ground – stop – look at me – listen to me, Choongjae! – then made a wild grab for Junjin’s leg.

 

“Please, Jin – there’s still hope –”

 

Junjin cut off Andy’s plea with a swift kick to the chest. His hands were getting cold. Was it fear? He adjusted his grip on the dagger. It’s time to finish what you started.

 

“Hope ran out long ago, Andy. We’re out of time.”

 

Expressionless, Junjin lifted his arms, and Andy saw the blade flash downwards – once, twice, three times.

 

“Jin, no!”

 

Junjin's gaze softened as he crumpled to the ground. I’m sorry you had to see this. His hands were still on the dagger he had ripped into his own stomach, and his blood was everywhere – seeping through his clothes, pooling on the ground, smearing all over Andy’s hands as they grabbed uselessly at his.

 

“I’m sorry, Andy… I couldn’t save us…” Junjin struggled to raise his hand to Andy’s cheek. “But at least… I can save you…”

 

“No – Choongjae –” Andy’s voice was frantic.

 

“This is the only way...” His vision was starting to blur. He had to say it now before it was too late. “Forgive me… I won’t hurt you anymore…”

 

“No, I’m sorry –” Andy cradled Junjin’s head and wept. “It was me who couldn’t save us – save you.”

 

Junjin shook his head weakly and smiled. “You did more than you’ll ever know.”

 

“Please, no…”

 

“I love you, Andy. I… always will…” Junjin’s breaths grew shallow.

 

“Choongjae –” Andy’s sobs were violent and broken as he kissed Junjin, desperate, emptying his soul into him, and willing the heavens to let him take his place. Stay, please stay – I’ll do anything –

 

Junjin closed his unseeing eyes and allowed himself to feel Andy’s love one last time.

 

“Goodbye, Andy. Be happy – be free.”

 

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