“We broke up.”

She was silent for a while, trying to digest the words that her friends had said.

“You two did what?” She asked, still couldn’t believe what she heard.

“We broke up.” The girl across her said one more time.

The young lady with long brown hair smiled, but it wasn’t a real smile. You could see it from her eyes, it was glistering with tears.

Taeyeon didn’t know what to say, was opened but no words came out from it. Rather than saying anything, she holds her friend’s hand.

“I’m sorry.”

As if it was the words that she needed to heard, Tiffany broke into tears.

***

Taeyeon still couldn’t believe what her friend had said to her. They broke up, but, why? She knew that they have many problems in their relationship, but so far the two of them could work it just fine and still stand together. Of course, that is until today. Although most of the time she’s the one who talked to both of them when they have major fights. At the end of the day, they both would try to reconcile after Taeyeon talked some senses into them.

But this one? This one is another story.

“I still don’t get it why you two are breaking up.” Taeyeon said as she stared at Tiffany, “I mean, you two were just fine a few days ago. So, I thought-“

Taeyeon runs her fingers through her hair. She didn’t know what to say anymore. Currently the two of them are in Taeyeon’s room inside her parent’s house. After the talked that they have at the café and Tiffany burst, she decided to take her away from that place, because Tiffany needs to calm down. This girl might not shouting and be dramatic or stuffs, but deep inside Taeyeon knew that Tiffany was currently in misery.

Tiffany looked at the mug that she was holding with her both hands. The color of the mug was white. There was a printed picture on the side of the mug. The picture was actually a printed name signal. A name signal that she knew very well. She runs her finger on

“Its… normal don’t you think?”

Taeyeon stared at Tiffany with a confused looked “What do you mean?”

“He had enough Tae,” Tiffany turned around to see Taeyeon’s expression “He had enough.

***

Taeyeon was sitting on her usual spot inside a café near her favorite book store. A cup of hot tea was on the table, right in front of her. Beside the cup, there was a small notebook with a pen. She also brought her earphone with her, so she could listen to her favorite songs from her phone. Resting herself on her chair, she looked out from the window. People were passing by, busy with their own things. It was pretty crowded, and that’s normal because at this time of the day everyone was having their lunch. Well, except Taeyeon. She’s waiting for someone.

The bell on the door’s rings, it was sign that a customer was coming. Too lazy to see who was coming, Taeyeon kept looking out from the window.

“Tae?”

She heard the voice, a voice that she’s familiar with. She turned her head to find the person she was waiting for, standing right beside her.

“Oppa.”

 

With her head leaning on her right palm, Taeyeon stared at the man right in front of her. Today the man was wearing a white shirt with black leather jacket. His hair was a bit messy, but he still looked good as usual.

“Are you going to keep staring at me like that?” The man said, drinking his own coffee.

Taeyeon coughs, “Mianhae.” Then she rubs the back of her neck.

The man shrugged his shoulders “Its fine.” He let out a small smile.

It’s better if I go straight to the point…  “Why did you two-“

“Broke up? She told you?” The man cut her words.

He was actually waiting for her to ask the question. He wasn’t surprised that her previous lover told the girl who is now sitting across from him about the break up that they had. They are best-friend after all. They told everything to each other, well, almost everything.

“Yes…” Taeyeon let out her answered in a small voiced.

The man stared at her, he was still thinking on how he needs to answer the young lady question. He crossed his arms to his chest and his long legs, before asking his question to her.

“What did she told you?”

Taeyeon stared back at the man, she then shook her head “Not much,” She runs her fingers on her phone screen, “She said you two broke up and you had enough.” She shrugged.

“Did she tell you that she’s the one who ended our relationship?”

Taeyeon eyes widen “She what? She’s the one who ends it?”

The man let out a small laughed, nodding while sipping his coffee, “Yes, she’s the one who ended the relationship. Not me.” His lips turned into a hard line as he put his coffee back on the table.

“But… why?”

He stay silent for a while, thinking. He then looked up to face Taeyeon. Her expression was pure curiosity, sadness, and hurt? He wasn’t sure. He was sure that he saw a glimpsed of those feelings inside of her eyes. Just like someone said, a person eyes are the window to their true feelings.

“Just like she said, she had enough.”

Taeyeon gave him a looked of displease “Really? Had enough?”

“Yes.” He simply said.

Taeyeon let out a scoffed “Ya! You two jinjja!”

She wanted to nag him, but not only him, but also Tiffany. The two of them has been in a relationship for more than a year, and in that year too, Taeyeon had known how their relationship goes. From the saddest one to the greatest one, she’s always there to witness their relationship. She knows that the two of them were too stubborn for each other. No days without a fight, they will always have a small fight that would end up Taeyeon as the negotiator between the two. If Tiffany was the stubborn one, she would go to Tiffany to pull her out from her stubbornness. If he was the stubborn one, well Taeyeon just need to talk some senses into him. He was quite easy to talk to rather than Tiffany. Tiffany was too stubborn, and sometimes it made her tired. So she just let her do what she wants at the end. He knows, because Taeyeon had told him about it. She was also tired, for hearing their relationship.

“It’s true Tae, she had enough. Not me.” He looked away from her “She had enough of my curt attitude.”

Taeyeon let out a sighed “But you love her… right?”

“It would be a lie if I said, I don’t. It would be a lie if I said I don’t have any feelings for her.”

Taeyeon could feel the emotions from his words. He was sad and angry. His tone was hard.

“She changes me. My friends told me that I smile more, and I guess it thanks to her.” He let out a forced laughed, “God, someone who is way younger than me, broke up with me. She’s way younger and she ended the relationship!” He almost shouted as his own words.

Taeyeon knew then that he wasn’t thrilled about the broke up that they have, who does anyway? Who’s happy for a break up?

“I’m sorry.” She doesn’t know what to say anymore.

The man let out a long sigh before he turned his head to look at her “Let’s not talk about this.”

Taeyeon nodded her head “Nde, Yunho oppa.”

***

“This is ridiculous.”

“No it isn’t.”

“Yes, it is.”

“No, it isn’t oppa.” Taeyeon giggles as she linked her right arm to Yunho’s left arm.

Yunho let out a heavy sigh “Why are we here again?”

“Because you love me, that’s why we are here.” Taeyeon joked as she goes to take a looked at the new arrival books.

Yunho who stood beside her looked at her with a mocked expression.

“What?” Taeyeon smiled innocently at him.

“Funny.” He scoffed as he ruffled her hair.

“Yak! Oppa!” Taeyeon pushed him away as he let out a laughed.

Yunho looked around before he settled his eyes on the biography section, “I will be there okay? If you are done just go get me, or better,” He takes a looked at the bag that has books inside of it, books that Taeyeon probably would buy, “Pay for the books before you looked for me.”

“Kay,” Taeyeon nods still looking at the book she was holding, “You are not buying anything?” She looked at him.

Yunho shrugged “Probably not.” He ruffled her hair once again before leaving her alone with her books.

Taeyeon bite her lower lips as she watched Yunho walked away. As he strolled down the long corridor, he would stop here and there to see the book that his eyes had caught. His long fingers would be running on top of the cover before he continued his walked. Taeyeon tiled her head to the side as she watched Yunho stop in front of a particular book. He looked at the book for a while before holding it and reads the synopsis. Perhaps later he would buy the book? Who knows? He was after all a mysterious man.

Putting the last book she wanted to buy inside the mini bag, she walked to the cashier to pay for it. As she waited in line, Yunho walked to her with a book. Raising an eyebrow, she looked at Yunho with a questioning looked.

“You want to buy that?” Taeyeon pointed at the book that he’s been holding.

“Yes.” He said curtly before putting it inside the mini bag, “Mind to pay it for me? I would change your money later.”

Taeyeon nods her head slowly, “Ung, sure…” She checked the book that Yunho’s buying, “Why are you buying a business book? You are a doctor, not a businessman.”

Yunho just shrugged again and ruffled her hair “I will wait in front of the store.”

“Yak! Oppa, answer me.” Taeyeon pouted at him.

He smiled at her, pinching her cheek he said, “Later. Now pay the books.”

Taeyeon pouts more as he pushed her to the empty cashier. After paying all the books that she bought, Taeyeon walked out from the book store. She looked around for Yunho. She couldn’t see him anywhere, but then she saw something from the end of her eyes. Someone was waving. Turning her viewed to the shadow, she couldn’t believe what she saw, and he was across the street! Waving his right hand at her, he smiled his innocent smiled. Rolling her eyes Taeyeon walked across the street carefully with the plastic bag.

“Oppa, why are you here?” She asked a bit pissed because he left her alone at the book store.

Yunho shrugged, putting his both hands inside his jeans pocket, “Let’s just say, I want to try a new road?” He looked at her with a mischievous looked on his eyes.

Taeyeon let out a ‘tch’ sound before she gave him a plastic bag, “Your book.”  She simply said.

Yunho took the plastic bag from her hand, “Thanks.” He pulled out his wallet and took out some money, and gave the money to her.

“My pleasure oppa.” Taeyeon took the money and put it in her mini white bag, “So, where should we go next?”

Yunho tilted his head to the right, “Let’s go this way, I know a place where you could enjoy a good ice cream.”

“Me? You don’t want to buy any ice cream.”

They started walking side by side along the pavement. Yunho changed his position from the right side of Taeyeon’s to the left side of hers. Taeyeon didn’t notice the changed in their position, she just kept walking. Yunho took a glanced at her, wetting his lips, he was debating with himself on rather to buy an ice cream or not.

“Let’s see shall we? The reason why I take you there it’s because you love ice cream so much.”

Taeyeon pouted at his words, she kicked the imaginary dust on the pavement, “No, I don’t. I don’t always eat ice cream.” She mumbled the last words.

Yunho smirked “Of course you do, every time we met you will always ask me to buy you an ice cream, a vanilla ice cream to be more specific.”

“And, is it a sin to ask you for it?” Taeyeon mocked him with her toned, “Besides, if you don’t want to buy one for me you could just simply said no, or just ignore my request.”

“You know I can’t.”

“Wae?” Taeyeon stop her walked to look at him more clearly, “I mean, I’m not that important to you. Who am I? I’m just a friend, right?”

Yunho stopped his walked too, staring back at her, “Right, but…”

Taeyeon frowned “But what?”

Taking a deep breath Yunho shook his head “Forget it.” He continued his walked, leaving Taeyeon.

Taeyeon blinked, before she realized what he was doing, “Ya! Jung Yunho-ssi! You can’t do that to me!” Taeyeon runs to his side.

Yunho let out a laugh “Try me.”

Taeyeon was left stunned when she saw the way Yunho laughs. It was a carefree laughter, a laughter that she rarely saw on Yunho’s face. Somehow that laughter made her glad. Perhaps it was because Yunho rarely laughed around her, he does smiled here and there. He would play with her too, but, this one was different. This one was special.

Thank you God, I can make this man laugh.

***

Taeyeon was sitting in the family room, watching a boring TV show. She kept changing the channel until her mother came into the room and took the remote control from her. Taeyeon let her picked the channel, she was her mother. What could possibly she do if not letting her watched what she wants?

The two of them were silent, no one was talking. Her mother was busy watching the show that was on, while she was busy with her own mind.

“Taeyeon-a” Her mother suddenly called.

“Nde eomma?” Taeyeon turned around to face her mother.

Her mother was sitting on the big red sofa, while Taeyeon was sitting one of the one seated couch. Her mother was looking at her with one serious expression.

“Do you like Aunt Clarissa?” She asked.

Taeyeon felt something weird inside of her after her mother asked her that question, “Yes… She is nice” She answered truthfully.

Her mother didn’t say anything for a minute, but then she said, “Okay.”

The next day was the same. Her mother was asking her the same weird question. A question that Taeyeon wasn’t comfortable to answered to. It was as if she was asking about was it alright if someone, Aunt Clarissa to be more precisely, to be her father new wife.

“What if, your father remarried someone, and that someone is Aunt Clarissa. How do you feel about that?” She asked the questioned so sudden.

Taeyeon replied immediately, “What do you mean by Aunt Clarissa as appa new wife?”

Taeyeon’s mom looked at her. Her cheeks were red, well it was always has been red, but somehow it feels different. This time, it feels different. The atmosphere was too heavy.

“Do you love me?” Her mother asked.

“Of course I do, you are my mother.” Taeyeon tried to keep her toned down and calmed, this type of question would surely made her sad, and broken.

“More than anything right? You will do anything for me?”

“Well yeah. You are my mother after all.” Taeyeon answered again, this time she’s playing with the blanket that was covering her legs.

“Do you know the difference between love to your lover, and love towards other person?” Her mother asked again.

“Of course I do, it’s different.”

Taeyeon answered, not looking at her mother because she’s afraid to see the emotions on her mother’s face. Especially in her eyes, she doesn’t want to see her eyes, because she knew. The moment she sees her eyes, she will break.

“Well, it’s different. You will know it eventually, but one thing you need to remember my child. You will do anything for the ones you truly love. Anything, even when it means you will get hurt.”

Those words that her mother had said made her went silent, but one thing for sure, Taeyeon felt like she wanted to cry, hard.

 

As usual, on the day where she doesn’t have anything to do in her room or outside, Taeyeon will go to the second floor to meet her mother to talk. But when she put her right foot on the second floor, she immediately could feel the heavy atmosphere. The same atmosphere when her mother talked to her a few days ago.

“Eomma?”

“Taeyeon-a.” Her mother looked up from her lap, her eyes were red.

“Eomma, what’s wrong?”

“Well, it’s nothing really, it is just a common problem for all of us.” She replied calmly, too calm.

Taeyeon suddenly felt worried, why does her mother looked so sad and fragile all of sudden. Although she doesn’t show it, her daughter still knew that there’s something wrong with her mother. You can say it was the mother-daughter bond, a bond that’s stronger than anything.

Her mother looked up at her, and smiled.

“What do you think about me coming with you to your new environment? I think that would be good don’t you think?”

***

After the episode with her mother, Taeyeon walked to her room immediately. She took her phone from her desk and opened the lock. She then picked an application where she knows someone who was willing to listen to her. She needed him, now.

TY : Oppa… I need you…

Just when she hit the sent button, not more than a minute, a reply came in.

YH : What’s wrong?

Then, Taeyeon burst into tears.

***

Yunho put a glass of water in front of Taeyeon, “Drink.”

“Thank you.” Taeyeon nod her head before she took a sipped of her drink.

Yunho let out a hummed before he took a sit across from her. After the text that he received from her, he didn’t know what to do. He was too busy that day, heck he didn’t replied her text for more than three days because of the works that he needs to do. Today was different. He was free for today, so he asked her to meet him at their usual place, the café.

“What’s wrong?” He asked again.

It was the second time he asked the question, and he knew this time Taeyeon will definitely tell him what’s wrong. Because that was his own rules, he will asked ‘what’s wrong’ three times, and if the person doesn’t answer in those times. Then, he would forget about it and enjoy the rest of the day. Taeyeon knows that, she knew the rules.

“I’m just being emotional,” Taeyeon let out a weak smile, “It's ridiculous really. I… almost cry this morning. In class, I almost cry this morning in class. It’s kind of lame when you can’t do anything that could make you feel a little bit better.”

Staring at the glass she could feel the tears that want to emerge from her eyes. She holds the tears at bay, really hard. She doesn’t want to cry in public, no. That’s a big no for her, she couldn’t cry in front of strangers, especially in public. It would be so embarrassing. No matter how much she wanted to, she needed to it up.

“Why? Are you fighting with your own friends?”

Taeyeon shake her head “No.”

She wet her lips, she was nervous, sad and confused?

“I- I was confused, there’s something happened at home few days ago. It made me think more about,” She paused, “My family.”

Yunho crossed his arms to his chest and leaned to his chair, “Like what? Is that something serious?” He asked with a serious toned, his eyes were on her, “If it’s a family problem then talked to the family. Example, you can talk to your brother or sister, at least it will make you feel less burden. I mean, your own thoughts won’t be that heavy.”

Taeyeon let out a force laughed, “I know right? But, I don’t know. I have this thought for a while, and somehow it becomes clearer as the time passed.” Taeyeon looked up and stared at Yunho, “And one thing for sure, I don’t like it, anything about it. Every time I tried to talk about it, with my parents especially my mother, I feel like I want to cry. Perhaps, it’s because deep down, I’m afraid.”

“Afraid of what?”

“Afraid of the truth.” Taeyeon let out her biggest fear, “The truth can be a dreadful thing to know.”

Taeyeon looked at her hands, trying to said the thing that she had kept for these past few days.

“A question caught my ears, it was about love.”

“Love?”

“Yes, love.”

Taeyeon looked at Yunho, that guy was leaning towards her. She could see it in his eyes. He was in a deep thought while listening to her. He was trying to find the answers for her, and for that she’s grateful.

“What about it hum?” He asked softly.

Taeyeon bit the lower parts of her lips. She’s trying to make the words in her mind first before she conveyed it to him.

“Have you ever felt a love where the love is so strong? The love that is so strong, that it made you become a person who’s willing to do anything for that person. Even when that person had hurt you beyond repair, yet you still stand there to witness your lover blossom. You just don’t want to let that person go. No matter how many times the person hurt you. You will just stand there and support them.” Taeyeon stopped her words, “Is it, love, what? What is love or care anyway?” Taeyeon let out a laugh, a nervous laughter, she then looked back at him, “I’m done.”

At least for now.

Yunho let out a small smile. He took a deep breath before letting it out and stared at Taeyeon. Putting his arms on the armchair, and leaning to his chair, he started talking

“You know that crying isn’t a sin right?” He asked with a smiled.

Taeyeon nodded her head.

“Good, because if you do feel better by crying then cry. You can say that crying is a way for you to speak your mind. A mind that wasn’t supposed to be your only burden, those burdens you have could eventually change you. Rather is the way you think, or even the way you act. So you need to be careful with it. Okay?”

 Yunho gave her the stared, a stared where he meant business, so there’s no way she could denied it.  Taeyeon nodded her head.

“Okay.”

“And Tae? You need to change your mind-set.”

Because I know you know the answer to your own question, you just need to change it.

“My mind-set?”

“Yes, your mind-set. Don’t let it kill you.”

Taeyeon looked the other way, trying to accept Yunho’s words. She knew he was right. She needs to change it, but how?

“Nde, I will try…”

“Good, next is… about that love thing. What I know, love to someone is different. In comes in many ways.” Yunho opened his arms wide opened as the gestured of his words, “I mean it has various types. I’m sure you know the types. Love for our own parents to our friends, or even lover is different, correct?”

Taeyeon nodded her head again, listening to him intently. Yunho nodded his head, he was sure that Taeyeon knew what he was talking about so he didn’t precede his explanation.

“Plus, I don’t think love should be always about giving real things.” Yunho patted his tights.

“What do you mean by not giving real things?”

“If you do really love someone or care about someone, you don’t need to show it by constantly giving them things, or what people usually said gifts. Because love can be shown by the way we act towards our special one.”

Taeyeon smiled, “I know that too. It’s more special sometimes, when they do something rather than giving us something. That kind of love is sweeter I guess.”

Yunho let out a wide smile at her. He then ruffled her hair lovingly.

“Good girl, it’s okay. Everything will be just fine.”

Taeyeon smiled too, “I hope so.”

I really do.

***

I wonder where he is…

It has been almost a month since Taeyeon and Yunho last met. The last time they met they were talking about random things and just chill. No heavy talked, just one light talked that leads to laughter and teasing. It was, fun and relaxing. She loves it.

She smiled as she reads their previous chats on Kakaotalk. For her, it was pretty fun to read. Every time she felt sad, and Yunho wasn’t there to call or talk, she would just go to that one application and read their old chats. It was her calm medicine.

 It was normal for Yunho to go away for a long time, and it was because of his work. When he was away and busy with his work, he would forget his surroundings. He even forgot his own phone! He used to tell her that, when he was busy he won’t touch his phone or anything. His eyes and mind was on his work, nothing else. So, Taeyeon would just let him do his work. She doesn’t have a heart to disturbed him, but when she had enough. She would eventually just send him some words. Ridiculous and random words, yet that man still acknowledged the way she sent those words. But for these past few weeks, he had been missing more frequently.

He used to be gone a week for maximum, but now? It has been more than a week, and she was worried.

“Where are you, you oldie.” She said to no one as she hugs her brown Teddy bear, she closed her eyes and leaned her head to her Teddy, “I miss you, you pabo.”

 

3 months later…

“Ya! Kim Taeyeon!”

Taeyeon turned around to find her new friend Yuri waving at her from across the street. Taeyeon wave her hand back at her, she smiled as she saw Yuri ended her talked with her friend and ran towards her.

“Where are you going?” She asked after she stood right in front of Taeyeon.

“Home.” Taeyeon giggled, “It’s pretty obvious don’t you think?”

Yuri let out a ‘ah’ sound, “Hey, you don’t want to hang out for a bit? I mean, we are free. There is no work that you need to finish for today right?”

Taeyeon bit her lower lips, a habit that she has been doing for these past four months, “Well yeah… but-“

“Oh come on Tae! I never see you hanging out with the rest of the groups!” Yuri whined before she linked her arms to Taeyeon’s, “Come on it will be fun!”

Taeyeon tried to resisted, “But Yuri, I-“

“Trust me, you won’t regret this.” Yuri winked at her.

At that gestured, Taeyeon just let Yuri do what she wants to do with her.

After a few hours out with her co-workers, talking and joking around. Taeyeon decided to go home first. She needs her time alone, immediately. She felt drained all of sudden. The thing that she wanted to do was just going home and has some rest.

“Hey, you are going?” Yuri asked from her sit when she saw Taeyeon getting ready to leave with her bag and coat.

“Ah… yes, I hope you don’t mind. I don’t feel well.” Taeyeon let out a tight smile.

Yuri stood up from her sit and went to her, “You okay?” She put her hand on Taeyeon’s forehead, “You are kind of warm.” She rubs Taeyeon’s arm, “Alright then, go home and take some rest okay? I will see you next Monday at work.” She playfully winked at her.

Taeyeon let out a chuckled, “Thanks Yuri. Good night everyone, see you next Monday.” Taeyeon said to the rest of the groups and waved at them.

She took a few steps towards the exit door, before she stopped her step and took out her phone. She runs her fingers on her phone screen before deciding to put it back in her bag.

Just opened it later Taeyeon-a

Taking a deep breath, Taeyeon walked out from the restaurant and took a fifteen minutes walked to her new home. Her own apartment, she got the apartment three months ago, after she received a letter from the company. It said that she had been accepted at the company, and they would like her to started working immediately. So after that, she left her parents home and lives alone.

Taking out the keys to her apartment, she unlocks the door and walked into her home. She closed the door with her shoulder. Pulling out her high heels, she put it back on the shoe rack. She tossed her bag to the white sofa, and pulled her hair down. She walked towards the kitchen as she opened her coat. Putting her favorite black coat on one of the dining chairs, she continued her walked towards the fridge. She took out a bottle of mineral water, opened the top, and drinks it immediately.

She let out a satisfy sigh after she drinks her water. After couple of more drinks, she walked back towards her living room. She tossed herself onto the sofa, just beside her bag. She then took a moment to observe her apartment. Her apartment wasn’t that big or small. There are two bedrooms. One main bedroom and one guest room, also bathrooms for each bedroom. There’s a medium size kitchen, a living room right across the kitchen and also a medium size room where she could kept all of her books. You could say that room was her study room, because there’s a desk and a chair along with a computer in there. That’s definitely her study room.

Chuckling to herself, Taeyeon took another sipped of her water. Her eyes then took a glanced at her bad that’s lying just beside her. Putting her drink on the coffee table, she took her bag with her left hand and opened it. She then took out the thing that she had always been used, it was her phone. Again, she runs her fingers on the screen. Debating herself rather to open it or not.

Without even trying, her fingers work alone to unlock the screen and opened a particular application. An application that she tried to avoided, but then again, she always ended up opening the application. Just like what she was doing right now.

The last message that has been sent was the same as three months ago.

TY : Oppa, I miss you, where are you?

And that message hasn’t been read or replied, until now.  Taeyeon let out a bitter laughed, she knew how dump she was waiting for him. Because one thing for sure he won’t come back, he never will. Not after what happened to his previous relationship, but, was it wrong for her to wish that he’s still here and just be there for her? Is it selfish to ask him to stay?

Hugging her knees, Taeyeon leaned her forehead to it, trying to hold her tears. Tears that she had hold for the past three months, but it was useless. This time she couldn’t hold it. She cried as she hugs her knees. She let out her wish as she cried to no one except for her, and perhaps him.

“Oppa, I miss you, please comeback…”

 

---

Is it really the end?

Let’s found out later shall we?