When he was 10 Ho jun was just as any average child from adults perspective ,he played and laughed with others.Ho jun was indeed average ,he liked to believe that,when he was in school .When he came home ,a drunk mother ,always high brother and abusive father were waiting, to go home was a reward for other children but through years for Ho jun it was biggest punishment.His father loved to find things and blame him for ,punish him and leave ,while enjoying the cries and something alike evil passion in his eyes he would say –If you cry ,think I would hug you?-,sometimes he felt as he was trained to be psychopath, emotionless .Stone and strong if you ask his father,but if not his mother made sure to lock him up in cold closet without food ,until somehow his brother remembered to open it ,but torture didn’t stop there,his  older brother would tie him on chair and watch horror movie ,but everytime Ho jun got scared or turned his head ,he would get deep cuts on body ,that left scars.

When he was 15 he knew it wasn’t normal for them to treat him like this,he managed to live with them for 15 years ,and not because he was ‘’strong’’ ,after all the torture ,he had one friend.Yoo Yeon seok.He was tall no matter what age they were at,handsome and calm .Ho jun did find it weird but he had his pride as well after all that torture ,he deserved better people ,and strangely Yeon seok liked to be his friend.His best friend.

When he was 20 he finally came to know the reason, his mother and brother were indeed trash but they were encouraged by his father ,the man who had business in black market ,from many jobs he choose to hire hitman.He trained his son to be his most expensive profit,and Ho jun after seeing them ‘’happy’’ did it.He hated every one of them,but the child in him was a fool.

When he was 27 he got tired ,his family had money now,they were happy in their worlds but he was left alone, with Yeon seok’s dad jokes to cheer him up.Family wasn’t there to hug him when he cried ,so he left ,his father lost many clients ,and all his hard work to train Ho jun was gone,he felt betrayed .

But Ho jun now had power to change things,to be truly happy for once.

-What time did the man go to dentist? Tooth-hurt-y hahahaah ,did u leave ? come by let’s have beer-

 Ho jun read massage from Yeon soek while leaving restaurant ,the jokes are getting worse and worse with day.

He slid in car with smile on his tired face ,again today he is on his way to check if father left lights on in house ,earlier at dinner mother told him he didn’t read not even one letter Ho jun wrote to him.However he Is slowly making progress ,the happy family he couldn’t have as child ,so just in case he starts engine and drives of from shabby restaurant his mother owns.In rear mirror he sees her smiling and waving with old apron around her skinny body.

He wants to be happy with them and  believe  a lie so strongly that truth would be too painful to handle.

He receives another massage, and now that he thinks not only does Yeon seok annoy him,but he is only person that does,he always treated him like nothing was ever wrong ,making him feel average,he liked it.

-I just poured milk into washing machine,sometimes I think I’m idiot-

-Oh I do that all the time-

-What?You pour milk in washing machine?-

-No,think that you are an idiot.-

-Bro…..-

Small grin tugged his facial muscles ,on his way to Yeon seok’s house he bought beer and some snacks ,after long ride he arrived but no matter how hard he knocked the doors were locked and it looked as if Yeon seok wasn’t there ,he waited a bit longer ,then went to backyard looking at his bedroom window,the light was on.

He started looking on ground searching for something,anything would be fine ,after few minutes his phone started buzzing ,he took it from pocket reading new massage.

-Dude,are you throwing stones at my window,what do you have phone for?-

-Yeah ,sorry your right-

----------

-Bro…..did you just throw your phone at my window?-

Yeon seok opened window looking on boyish smile and black plastic bag Jun was holding and waving with cutely.

-Idiot- He smiled and closed window ,Ho jun to lazy to go to front door ,put the bag further on his elbow and climbed tree that was right next to house ,carefully he sat on branch that was nearest to roof ,holding to upper branch he stood up on legs and started walking ,after being close enough he jumped on roof ever so quietly and opened wooden window stepping into room,and plopping on bed waiting for Yeon seok to come back.

-You know,I went to open you door- Yeon seok sat next to him and started tickling him

-Yaaa! Hahhah –He wiggled out of Yeon seok’s hold but fell on floor.

-Ouch…- Yeon seok started laughing taking bag and looking what Ho jun bought

-You know I don’t like dried squids-

-You know potato isn’t vegetable?- it was more statement than a question,and Yeon seok raised his eyebrow

-What does that have to do with this-

-Well it equally irrelevant fact- Yeon seok’s jaw dropped

-You little brat!- he took blanket from bed and threw it on Ho jun ,wrapping him and tickling again so he can’t defend,after hour of just talking they sat to watch movie ,drinking beer ,Yeon seok’s arm was around his shoulders and Ho jun’s head tilted towards older’s shoulders.

-Hyung…how drunk was I yesterday?- Yeon seok looked at him amusingly

-You know ,when you are drunk it’s truly art –

-Why…Did I do something stupid?-

-You took my catfish from aquarium ,put it into plastic bag filled with water ,then you went outside and climbed on tree,yelling ‘’I FOUND NEMO ON A OMG GIANT BROCCOLI’’ –Yeon seok turned to him again with ‘I’m used to it ‘ look

-You know you shall die if you tell someone- The look he gave to older was supposed to be threatening …is some way not to Yeon seok.

-Only person I could tell it to is your mother – he turned head continue watching

-She is sometimes- yet no one turned head anymore

-I want to high five her in face…with brick…covered with spikes…,dipped in poison…-

-She can go swimming in acid…..in straight jacket-

-She can choke on her own puke…- Yeon seok took a sip slowly making sipping noises

-She can go step on LEGO!- Yeon seok turned around shook on his face

-That’s plain mean-

-What can I say? Toast to me- Yeon seok smilled , favorite of all smiles Ho jun saw trough years ,the warm smile, it gave Ho jun feeling like he is home, like there is always embrace that waits him.

After goofing around for another hour and brotherly hug he got from older at door, he started driving.

The streets in old village were quite narrow as he drove,snacking on leftover pork mother packed him,and some more side dishes.Thinking about the first letter he wrote to father ,was more frequent now,in short and he thinks really humble letter he is  seeking acceptance from old man,not even a conversation just a sign,at least to leave lights in front of house ,that means Ho jun can at least come in for talk with his old man, but to his disappointment he didn’t see those lights in last five years.

The phone starts to ring…trrr……trrr……trrr…. ,Ho jun looks down on it ,then on dark street again,then back down ,sighing in frustration he turn head towards phone laying on seat and reaches with hand to pick it up ,when he turns his head a deer was standing on street ,he curses under breath,throwing phone and grabbing wheel with both arms and stirring roughly to left side,tires making rustling noises as car tilts,his heart beats faster  but BUM,his car stops and his head hits wheel,….he hit something.

His breathing was rapid and heart as well,…..what happened? He feels warm blood tickle down to his lips ,outside was nothing but dark, he leaves the car walking slowly to the front only to see a man in blood lying there,not moving .He kneels next to body,he didn’t kill anyone for years,he wanted to change and panic was creeping slowly under his skin. Many thoughts cross his mind ,but he acts on first one and with little effort puts body on his shoulders and in trunk.He couldn’t bother looking at man’s face,it was useless with damned prosopagnosia, to call police would mean to crush hid efforts about changing his life ,he already came to far to go back ,sweat was drenching his new white shirt now stained with blood as well.With poker face he sat again in car and started driving back to his house.As usual he peeked at his father’s house to see  darkness,like light never existed there.

As he was driving he was already making plans about body,he should cremate it and burn it or to bury it in mountains ,his house didn’t have any neighbors anyways.With sweaty hands he got out of car and started walking to back of car ,he was nervous ,he did bad things ,he wasn’t a nice person, but he wanted to change, he wanted new life, his thought were wild running ,he took in deep breaths and slowly opened the trunk ,body was bloody and lifeless ,the smell of death was embracing his whole body.He took man on his shoulders again and walked into house ,turning around with suspicion ,as long as no one sees him. He left body in bathtub and started washing blood from his shoulders and arms on sink and changing clothes, since he left life of monster behind him,he didn’t want to do it all alone,so with quick and long steps he took phone and called Yeon seok ,only person he could think of ,even when he kills a man or thousands of them.His steps were loud and nails bitten to blood waiting for Yeon seok to pick up …after one ring,two ring three and four he heard the familiar and warm voice.

‘’Ho jun what’s up so late?’’ Yeon seok’s voice felt like home after storm,the home that never changed and he wanted to hide in his friends embrace like his mother’s .

‘’H-hyun-g-g-…..I-I caused tr-robule’’ his fingers had little bloods stains from scratching and biting

‘’What are you talking about ? What happened ,are you okay??!’’ His cheerful voice was getting more serious and deeper

‘’C-Can you com-me ove-r?’’ –I’ll be right there-

Ho jun wanted day to end ,month and year like it never happened but minutes passed slowly like time was teasing him,when Yeon seok arrived he hugged him like his life depended on it

-I’m glad you called me ,you did good job-he patted Ho jun’s head proudly

-Look hyung will take care of it mm? You just finished your teraphy you need to rest now give me the body-

He trusted Yeon seok more than anyone ,he was his family ,mother and father ,brother and support ,he would live his life to him ,but he didn’t want Yeon soek to take all responsibility of taking care of body,now that he thinks he didn’t even mention it was body,,,or maybe he did ,he just forgot ,Yeon seok knew him all to well in end not to know what happened.Because of his illness he couldn’t recognize Yeon seok’s face even when he saw him but his voice was warm enough to melt ice ,so Ho jun idealized his friend .

-Hyung..I-I’m sorry ,I didn’t meat to hit him,,It was accident -   -Shh it’s okay now ,I’ll get rid of it ,just tell me where it is –

After calming down Ho jun they walked to bathtub where the body was ,Ho jun holding Yeon seok’s sleeve .

--Is it s-someone we know?-

-N-No not at all,don’t worry about it- he turned around and patted  Ho jun’s  head again

-You still have cremation room right?—Ho jun hummed in response, it was scary how Yeon seok was calm in every situation but it was relief to be his friend. –If I cry will you hug me?- …. –Aigoo are you baby? Don’t’ worry Hvung will take care of it- Ho jun buried himself in familiar scent,and long arms wraped around him,they were same height and age but Yeon seok was his idol,and father ,brother and mother.

-Hyung will come tomorrow to take body okay? I have something to do urgently ,you gonna stay here?-

-I’ll stay here it’s okay – Yeon seok grabed his hand and tuned it over so Ho jun’s red braclent was shown – Still have this?,ger rid of it – He said pointing at little red royal stamp on braclent

--O-oh I’ll get rid of it- … --You know the past of it is dark and it’s purpose –

--Hyung I know I marked people to kill with it ,I’ll get rid of it don’t worry-

--Alright – He said with sad smile and hugged Ho jun again ,after short talk he left ,everything was still scary, now that he choose to change his life and get started with pure new happiness ,this happened ,but Yeon seok was there for him in every phase in life in bad and good he never questioned Yeon soek’s trust,he was like his brother and light in darkness he was trapped in.

The next day Ho jun was calmer and went out to clean car from stains when he found a paper stained in blood on his car ,laying ,not even wind bothered it .Ho jun  walked over and opened it ,letters cut from books and all kinds of papers were glued in sentences

-I know you

Leave body at Yeochan warehouse

9 p.m

Alone –

Ho jun’s hands started shaking again ,like everything was collapsing slowly as letter fell from his hands

Should he tell Yeon seok  or bring body? Without much thinking he decided to go for it and not tell his friend , Yeon seok was good enough to want to help him,but when he thinks again he can get rid of body and witness himself ,and continue like nothing happened .

After staying in place for 15 minutes he went in house with big steps and looked at body with disgust ,his old self was slowly coming back,the past he wanted to erase ,the abuse and cold heart he was thought by his father. Watching body with many scars and tattoos the past memories started coming again more aggressively ,familiar feeling of pain,the pain he embraced and engraved to make it into revenge later .He was giving up that revenge ,the pain when his mother locked him in closet for days after beating him,the pain of father hanging his bruised body and whipping it while drinking ,the lesson that day was

-Embrace the pain-

Even  after all the pain he embraced ,he was ready to forgive them,he was forgiving them ,and giving all of himself .The kisses and hugs he didn’t get as child ,he wanted them now,he believed they could be happy family,strongly believed in it.The envy  that was like fire in his eyes when he saw happy family,he needed it to disappear, he started to change.However he was standing in front of dead body now,the one that could ruin his planed future and change ,he’ll get rid of evidences for sure that would do.

The lie he wanted to believe strongly.

Ho jun’s body was well build and strong ,from workouts and material arts he did ,he was tall with lean body so with ease he lifted body from tub and carried him to car trunk ,throwing body of older man with disgust ,but with smirk. He was thought to be cold and psychopathic ,just once more he needed to do it.

He started to drive without thoughts ,he’ll do what he needs to and act as if nothing happened just once more, time passed quickly when he arrived in front of old and rusty warehouse at end of village ,roads leading to it were surrounded with miles of nothing but whey and long yellowish grass ,it was quite and wind cold .Ho jun arrived few minutes earlier and hid behind dusty wooden furniture in corner waiting.

The hall was huge Ho jun was especially quite to hear any sounds ,the person that left letter must be someone he knew, but he couldn’t comprehend anyone ,or maybe that person just followed him yesterday and knew where he lives? He peeked slowly at gate from corner and saw man with black mask and hat coming in looking around ,any minute he will see Ho jun, he is turning around and looking at his watch ,he needs to come just little more forward ,Ho jun leaned over and in that moment the man in black turned around looking at Ho jun as he fell forward ,man started running ,he was getting away ,Ho jun got up and started running after him, he took deep breath and started running over the big hall ,the man was right in front of him, he just needed a little bit more and he will catch him,just little bit more….and .BUM!

He threw his body on men in front of him making him fall as well ,they were down but fight just started ,man in black punched him and took knife from Ho jun’s waist ,the beast in Ho jun ,the need to fight back and see blood was getting stronger ,the need to control .Man swung it repeatedly ,left ,right ,left and again right on Ho jun lying below him and avoiding ,Ho jun managed to grab piece of wood near him and with loud scream started to hit man with all force and strength he could,while hitting him he grabbed other hand of man in black and stamped it ,holding it tightly and stamping back of man’s hand with red ink,the stamp royal assassins used ,the ink that couldn’t be washed ,the gift from his father.

Man in black pushed him off with kick on Ho jun’s chest and started running again ,Ho jun’s back was pierced with little glass pieces and he was already hurt enough to run after him,now the next time he sees him he’ll kill him for sure.He got up with blood running down his arm and went back to car,he really needs to find er that is threat to his life,every second he spent on those therapies and fake smile he had to bear watching from his mother,the life that is crumbling like dead leave ,dead leave that even autumn left behind.

On his ride back home every thought was filled with that man,who is he ,how he found his house ,was he there when Ho jun hit man,the frustration grew with every minute he started to hit wheel and scream ,in deep raspy voice ,he wanted to kill.Now he couldn’t care,not when everything could collapse at any moment.But as habit he stopped in front of his father’s house awaiting and still hoping to see light.

Every day and every hour he worked to turn pain into power ,Ho jun was stuggling to make things right,fighting for it day and night and now that it started going right ,it was about to collapse ,Yeon seok’s eyes that would judge him.It made him go crazy,those thoughts ,every minute they got more intense awakening sleeping demons ,deep inside where no one got close enough ,the darkness that hurts.

He wanted to hug mother ,he didn’t know if something could happen to them,he needed to see them,he didn’t even bother getting body out of trunk and started driving toward shabby restaurant.Sweat was tickling down his face and arms ,just little more he needed to fight just little more,everything that killed him made him feel alive more.

He parked car in front and went out stopping in front of opened door after hearing voices having a conversation,he peeked over and looked at their hands since he wouldn’t recognize their faces anyways,,,,all three of them had red stamp.

He leaned on wall and took deep breath pulling out knife he had in tucked in waist ,the cold steel gliding over his sweaty skin cutting it slightly,after having it out he calmed down to hear conversation,he sat down with back leaned on wall and knife gliding over fingers.

--So just do it as I say,I’ll take care of him you take old man— it was a familiar voice

--Are ya’ sure he won’t notice? head was paid to kill people – another familiar voice,any minute now he will find out who they are ,any minute

-- How much do we get—female voice, it’s familiar ,it’s dark but Ho jun wants it to be warm ,his mother..

Again even tho it’s killing him,it makes him feel alive more.

Anger raged and boiled he could burst any minute and slice their throats but he wants to wait and hear the rest ,hear how much he believed the lie,how much will truth hurt,he was just plain curious now.

--Don’t worry Jun min-ah ,Ho jun believes me enough,we’ll just get rid of him later mm?—

--I dunno Yeon seok-ah ,ya’ plan better work ,I donn wanna that psycho behind me—

--Shut up !bastard he is your brother—She yelled throwing apron on desk

--He is your son! You never cared for him anyways why pretend now? Cuz he gave u some money ?,ya’make me laugh--  Ho jun felt tears slowly fall but they were cold,his brother ,friend and mother ,want to sell him for what ,,a corpse?Anyways he wants to hear more,but suddenly he hears a ringing, it’s a phone……and its not coming from restaurant ,he turned around looking at all directions  like fly without head ,was there someone? He turned around to look at trio and they were looking around as well,they heard it….Ho jun runs from door and hides behind next corner ,breathing quietly and looking around ,,,there has to be someone he thought.The steps were careful and he heard every one of them,they opened door, Jun min his brother was first ,slowly looking around,the ringing was still there.Everyone was frozen in their spots ,Ho jun turned around and saw them approaching his car,was it his phone? He quickly checked his pockets but it wasn’t his…..the dead man.

Juho grabbed his hair in frustration,,,will they discover the body? They were coming close, with each step ,so near the car now when-

-What are you doing?- Ho jun naturally took few steps from behind corner approaching their shocked faces

--D-darling were you crying,why were you outside—His mother came with slow and cautions  steps

--Will you hug me if I cry?—He looked at Yeon seok and shifted to look on stamp on his hand ,when Yeon seok covered it

--What’s happening—Ho jun said grabing woman’s upper arm and yanking her forward ,pressing cold metal against

--Mother ,I really tried,I really tried to forgive you—The cold metal was now covered in blood ,he saw shook and terror in brother’s eyes as blood started flowing from woman’s mouth ,,she was gasping for air or it looked like that ,as blood left her body painfully ,and her body fell on ground.

Ho jun started laughing ,laughing really hard

--The party just started – Yeon seok took knife from table and pointed it at Jun min

--Ho jun-ya I was on your side always I just wanted to show you ,they didn’t really love you mm?—

For change the calm expression on Yeon seok’s face was gone his arms and voice were shaking

--Y-yahh! H-he called us I swear ,believe your brother Ho jun-yah ,h-he said that man has tattoo an—

The next thing he saw was Yeon seok stabing his brother ,the blood and falling body

--Let me explain it to you mm? hear me out don’t worry—

--I’m not worrying ,I’m enjoying myself—Ho jun took few steps,the blood covering his black boots

--T-the man you hit,he has umm a slush fund,,,and we were just discussing how to tell it to you and umm split money,, but they are greedy people ,I didn’t want you to know ,not now that you are recovering, I would take care of everything mm? Just give me the body and don’t worry—Yeon seok was trying to speak with calmer voice as he took few steps forward

--Hyung …why were you here…why would you get rid of me?-

-Ho jun open your trunk-Yeon seok was trying to be calm,he knew Ho jun was on edge

-Okay- He came next to car and opened trunk only to see……a phone..there was no body,nothing just a phone.

-Wasn’t the body here?!-Yeon seok asked in shock

-It was….I know it was here when I came ,I don’t know what happened –Ho jun started looking around ,there was no one to be seen.

-Come on get it !We have to find him- Ho jun grabbed older’s hand stopping him,the glint in his eyes,was  one Yeon seok hated the most.

-I’ll explain it to you as we drive okay?We have to hurry ,come-They got into car,and even now for some reason he can’t stop trusting Yeon seok,his mother and brother just got killed, he knew they didn’t love him anyways but he wanted to try at least .

-The night you were going back from me,you hit a man,that mas was your father.Now even if he died it wasn’t important ,it would be for the best actually –Ho jun raised his eyebrow – I got happy to see or so I thought he was dead I just needed to get rid of his body,but it seems he escaped,..on the street you hit him there is CCTV that recorded you ,he is surely going for it and he will use it against you-Ho jun sighed

- Get to point,how can he use it?-

-He needed something to threaten you with,but since you didn’t do anything for five years he took things in his hand ,and wanted to make it look like you killed your family and attempted murder on him-

Yeon seok was speeding more than he should on narrow dark streets as anxiety took him in embrace.

-I was chasing him after you left,he was going to begin with his plan,at that time I called you but he jumped on street and you hit him,I didn’t want to come out in case he was alive…-

-Hyung…why?-Ho jun’s voice was lower in octave but in sadder manner.

-I..I knew his plan,he was going to make it look like you killed your mother and brother ,he even made you mark them-

-I ING worked for him,he surely has some evidence that I don’t know maybe killed people for money?!-

-No! He has nothing ! If he had he would threaten you to come back years ago! He would do it ,the threat,with your mother and brother ,he wanted but you don’t even care for them,he had nothing ,except me..-Ho jun turned his head , -H-Hyung …did he hurt you?-

-Don’t mind that,anyways ,now he has everything to keep you in jail for life,your brother and mother are murdered and he has CCTV of you hitting him with car,he’ll make you into son that murdered his family-

-Hyung how do you know all this?

-I said I would help him,…I needed to know what he plans and protect you,..when we were kids just because you didn’t have scars on face you think I didn’t know they abused you every day?!,then I couldn’t do a thing ,but now I will protect you-

-What were you talking with mom and Jun min then?-

-Your father has slush found and password is tattoo on his left arm,I told them we’ll make it look like you killed him and get rid of both so we can split money,I needed your father dead,and for money your bro and mother weren’t refraining ,if they killed him ,I would expose them and take money-

-Hyung….I love you-

-Don’t be cheesy bro, I would give life for you but spare me from gay - Ho jun laughed…life at this point but Yeon seok still made jokes,he loved the warmness in his eyes and voice,he was in end all he needed ,family wasn’t just blood related people in end.

-We are here-He looked at Ho jun with warm smile,the calmness he kept in every situation and divinely dark eyes –Don’t worry,it’s will be fine ,hyung is here-

-And I was supposedly cheesy- Ho jun looked in his eyes for few second and went out of car looking at house in front of him,…the lights were finally on ,and if it happened few days before ,Ho jun would be thrilled to come in,but now he just wants to end it ,and escape from today,the day felt like eternity.

-Old man is more obvious than I thought,let’s go-Yeon seok went first climbing slightly green stairs ,moon was full and sky clear ,it was such nice weather,but life’s  timing ,so Ho jun thought.

Yeon seok was in front walking with big steps and opening front door without second thought and Ho jun just one step behind him,when they entered large house old man was lying on sofa still injured ,Yeon seok took him by collar lifting him

-Where is the tape?-Yeon seok hissed ,barely moving lips

-If I’m going down,I won’t go alone- He smile was forced showing his bloody teeth

-Ho jun…wHY! Why do you torture him all the time! All his life!?-

-Your father was going to sell him anyways I just took him and he should know how to be grateful ,do you think I would do it if he was my real son?!-

-You scumbag!-Yeon seok threw him and kicked him few times with foot,strong and precise kicks,while Ho jun was searching around house

-Found something –Yeon seok turned around and saw younger holding a tape

-That’s enou- BUM! Ho jun’s eyes widened tape dropping out of his hand

-H..Hyun..g-He ran to Yeon seok as he fell in his hold blood coloring his abdomen,he looked at old man holding a gun with his last strength and collapsed as well

-H…hyung shhh it’s will be okay I’ll take you to hospital ,hang on- He carried Yeon seok bridal style and layed him carefully on backseat,Yeon seok was still awake holding hand onto his wound ,Ho jun got into car ,sweat on his hands and forehead not stopping ,looking back to check on Yeon seok every minute ,the nearest hospital wasn’t that near at all and he was speeding trough night streets as much as narrow roads allowed him.

-Ho jun-ya…Hyung is okay…instead of –cough-hospital ..I wanted to show you a place-

-Just stay In place Hyung! And don’t fall asleep we’ll be there soon-He turned around to check on him again,older was bleeding and it wasn’t okay as he said

-- few hot tears rolled down his sweaty face –I’m sorry hyung..this is all because of me-

-Ho jun-ya  nothing was your fault …but I would appreciate it if we could go to Samchan –

-Why go there-Ho jun whined

-It’s first thing on our bucket list idiot,I really wanna see sunrise ,then we can go to hospital …please-

-H..hyung don’t do this..we can go see sunrise next time- He stopped car and turned around looking at Yeon seok’s laying body covered in sweat and pale skin.

-Let’s go….- Ho jun started hitting wheel in frustration ,screaming and cursing …Yeon seok was always right whatever he said, he hoped deeply that this was all a nightmare ,after few minutes of calming down and wiping tears he turned car,turning left ,driving toward Samchan,it was a cliff Ho jun saw in article and added on ‘bucket list with hyung > - <’ his life wasn’t that with many nice experiences and every new one he wanted to make with hyung,to replace bad with good memories.

They arrived at cliff shortly ,sky was slowly getting baby pink and orange color ,after sighing for last time Ho jun took Yeon seok out of car after tightly wrapping bandage (Ho jun’s shirt) around older.They sat at end ,their legs hanging in air,the wind was warm ,as if devoted mother’s hand patting their head with ‘’you worked hard today’’ ,Ho jun turned his head looking at his hyung who had his eyes closed and little smile stretched on his face

-Why are you smiling?-

-I trained you properly my puppy-  Older tickled Ho jun under chin like a puppy

-If someone saw us they would think we are really gay?-

-Of course look how handsome this hyung is-he winked cheesy at Ho jun

-I’ll push you,I swear I will- Yeon seok started laughing ,and Ho jun really forgot for second what was happening ,this hyung made him forget every worry he had even for a second, he was his real family and how much time he wasted on people that ‘raised him’ made his blood boil,the lie he wanted to believe made him sick

-I just remembered another awesome joke-

-You know you have to live mamamoo’s comeback is aze gag (ahjussi joke) ,I really want to go to their fansign event this time,last time..whaaa I still can’t believe I missed seeing mamamoo cuz your lazy didn’t buy suit for interview –

-They made a song for me- Yeon seok wiped fake tears ,and looked and Ho jun when they started laughing ,those smiles and, warmness of rising sun reflecting in their eyes were sincere.

The memories of childhood ,the memories of every day were filled ,after every storm Yeon seok was like tree ,one that never bowed and when scared and weak he would go to that tree and hide under it’s branches ,then he was truly home.

The tall,cheerful  man with whom even pain felt royal.

Ho jun opened his eyes,sun already rose he turned his head on dusty ground and saw the eyes of home.The eyes that never bowed .His best friends eyes.

Humans actions and feeling are indeed complicated yet so simple in same time....