Kyuhyun sighed as he dabbed on the last of his makeup and stood up, straightening his black and gold hanbok*.  It was made of the finest silk, and perfectly matched with the golden orchid pin he was wearing today.  The shiny black silk contrasted beautifully with his porcelain like skin, giving him a glow only he could pull off.  Kyuhyun looked the perfect balance between seductive and innocent, and he knew it. It was the with this confidence that he stepped out of his room and sauntered to his cushion on the auction block, draping himself onto it with deliberate laziness like a feline. The collective gasp of the audience upon his appearance was no longer a surprise for the top kisaeng* of the house, and Kyuhyun spared them no bother as he eyed the night sky lazily.

Today marked his seventh year as a kisaeng. Seven years of living in this gyobang*, spreading his legs entertaining clients every night. Seven years of false smiles, empty praises and the (not so) occasional abuse behind closed doors.  What he endured this for, he knew not, for his life had ceased to have any meaning anymore. When the young orphan boy had knocked on the doors of this gyobang seeking a warm meal for his hungry stomach years ago, he had thanked the heavens when the owner had deemed him pretty enough to stay. But Kyuhyun was no longer that naïve boy, and whatever foolish hope he once had had been mercilessly squeezed out of him in the past decade. So all he did tonight was gaze up at the endless sea of stars while pondering the futility of his existence, comforting himself with the knowledge that this would all end tomorrow.

Come the next day, his fellow kisaengs would find him in an eternal slumber, having left this cruel world behind. He wonders how they would react. Ryeowook, his closest friend in this miserable place, would probably be a sobbing mess. He knew Donghae, the kindest hyung he had ever met, would also deeply mourn him. Leeteuk hyung would probably bury his sorrow in work, trying to ensure that the house continued running smoothly. Kyuhyun felt a stab of remorse, knowing that his passing would hurt his friends, but he supposed that this would soon fade given the overwhelming misery they faced everyday anyway. Some of the younger kisaengs would probably rejoice secretly, glad for a chance for promotion. Kyuhyun did not blame them. He too had once thought that the greater comforts of being a high-ranking kisaeng would ease his hurts, but he knew better now.

The sharp sound of the gavel pounding jolted him out of his reverie, and the auctioneer declared a young man his Master for the night. It was not one of his regulars, and for that Kyuhyun was glad. Perhaps the heavens had taken pity on him and given him a less demanding partner for his last night. The young man approached him hesitantly, and Kyuhyun saw in his eyes an innocence he rarely saw in his customers. Great, so he was to tutor a clueless young noble on the arts of pleasure tonight, he thought to himself sardonically. Well, he supposed it was not too bad for a last night – leaving a legacy and all.

Kyuhyun flashed the young man a seductive smile with practiced ease just as the other reached his cushion. Offering his hand to the other man, who took it in a dazed state, Kyuhyun stood up gracefully. “Nice to meet you, young master,” he whispered huskily, dipping his head in an elegant bow that subtly showed off his tempting, smooth nape. The skin was a beautiful cream now, as the makeup did a good job in hiding last night’s damage, but the young man did not need to know that. The other man was flushing a deep red now, and it was so amusing that he considered continuing the teasing all night long. But he somberly reminded himself of the most important task he had set for himself tonight, and decided that it would be best to finish his business with the young noble fast. Thus, he quickly took advantage of the young noble’s trance-like state and led the young man to one of the many luxurious quarters in the house.

Kyuhyun found the young man still staring at him, wide-eyed and unabashedly, as he closed the doors of the room and returned to attend to his newest master. Well, he guessed his beauty did have that effect on some people, especially inexperienced young men. He slowly began undressing the man when he felt firm hands on his chest, pushing him away gently. Oh, so the young lordling would like to take it slow huh, Kyuhyun thought to himself as he gave the man a cute pout, as though hurt by the rejection. He was just about to begin a sensuous massage when the other man finally spoke, his voice broken and filled with hurt, “Kyuhyun-ah, what happened to you?”

It was then that Kyuhyun whipped his head up in shock and began looking at the young man properly. No client here would know his real name, for in this business he was only known as Molan – the peony, as befitting a kisaeng so majestic and elegant. For this man to know his name, he must have known Kyuhyun a long time ago, a time when Kyuhyun was just a poor boy but not a . Kyuhyun studied the man’s face carefully, studying the oddly familiar angled jaw, prominent cheekbones and deep, almond shaped eyes that were now b with tears. It was then that the realization struck him, and he nearly recoiled in shock when he finally recognized the other man. “Eun...Eunhyuk hyung,” Kyuhyun managed to choke out before dissolving into tears, the familiar face bringing back painful memories he had kept carefully locked away all these years.

…

“Kyuhyun-ah! Did you bring me my favourite strawberries from the kitchens again?” Eunhyuk called out cheerfully as he ran eagerly towards Kyuhyun, smiling in his signature gummy smile. The younger boy smiled shyly as he handed the strawberries over, mumbling a quick “Yes, your highness” in response. The crown prince frowned in mock annoyance as he reminded Kyuhyun to call him by his name instead, which the boy then did dutifully. Eunhyuk suddenly pulled Kyuhyun into a tight embrace, ignoring the other’s muffled protests, glad that his best friend finally found the time to sneak away from the kitchens to meet him.

Kyuhyun was the illicit child of a palace maid and guard, and grew up hidden away in the palace kitchens, helping with the chores daily. He was a child that should not exist, whose existence was the very reason behind his parents’ execution, but the sanggungs* had taken pity on him and allowed him to live. Eunhyuk was the nation’s son, born with the mandate of heaven, being the crown prince of Joseon. He was a child an entire nation adored, whose birth was reason enough for a nationwide celebration. The two could not have been more different, but they shared something remarkable in common: they were lonely children stuck in a world of political machinations and fights between adults.

It was perhaps this loneliness that drew these two together like moth to fire, and they shared a bond so close no other person could understand. From the day the nine-year-old crown prince spotted and spoke to the seven-year-old boy scrubbing pots outside the kitchen, a fast friendship was formed between the two that would evolve into a deep bond over the years. They would often secretly meet in the evenings, when the crown prince was done with his lessons and the orphan done with his chores, in a secret patch of the royal garden no one really went to. Eunhyuk would teach Kyuhyun how to read and write, much to the younger’s delight, and be surprised by how smart the kitchen boy actually was. Kyuhyun, in return, would feed his hyung snacks nicked from the kitchen, and tell him all about the latest palace gossip, occasionally spinning tales so scandalous that left them both guffawing in tears.

Alas, their days of happiness were ruthlessly severed when the gamchal sanggung* caught Kyuhyun sneaking off to meet the crown prince. Kyuhyun’s frequent disappearances had raised her suspicions and she had finally managed to trail him to the garden hideout the two boys frequented. She was planning to let Kyuhyun off with a whipping and stern warning to stay away from the prince, but when she saw the two boys embracing the sanggung knew she had to inform the Queen of this grave matter. One event snowballed into another, and before Kyuhyun knew what was happening, he was hauled away and thrown into the prisons, locked away under the orders of an enraged Queen.

Kyuhyun waited in prison patiently, sure that his royal lover and best friend would save him. His faith was shaken though, when the guards came to inform him of his impending execution a few days later. Still, he waited for Eunhyuk, until the day of his execution came and he knew he had to escape or die. So he won the hearts of the guards with his tears and the beautiful jade pendant the prince had given him, and escaped the palace with a broken heart.

For days, Kyuhyun ran as far as his feet could take him, surviving on what little he could get by begging. But what was way worse than his physical pains was the aching heart of this fifteen-year-old boy. It was hurting so badly from betrayal and bitter sorrow that Kyuhyun could almost forget his burning feet and hunger. Eventually though, his tears ceased and the pain dulled, locked deeply away in his battered heart. His pressing need for food eventually led him to a gyobang, and that was the day Kyuhyun became Molan.

In some ways, putting on the many masks of a courtesan helped keep Kyuhyun mentally sound. When he was busy charming the pants off his rich clients, he effectively occupied his mind playing as many other characters, and in doing so avoided confronting the raw pain his true self carried. He avoided thinking of his ex-lover by tricking his youthful mind into believing that he was loved by his other clients and tried his best to satisfy them, however erse their desires. When that illusion stopped working, he began focusing on his material desires, and furiously worked his way up to become the most-prized kisaeng of the gyobang.

However, neither the abundance of gold from his many admirers nor the servants he now had as a haengsu kisaeng* helped to lessen the sting when he found out that the crown prince was getting married. Kyuhyun knew that something in him died that day. It was the proverbial final nail in the coffin, for he now knew that he was abandoned forever, forgotten by the prince who once promised to always be with him. The last of his foolish hope, the hope that one day Eunhyuk would remember their promise and come for him, was erased that night.

Every memory of the crown prince was mercilessly stuffed into a distant corner of his mind that night, tucked away by a strong willpower to forget the cause of all his pain. Perhaps it was his mind’s way of maintaining its sanity, but Kyuhyun found himself rarely thinking about the prince anymore. It was a relief, really, but his heart was now blanketed by an overwhelming feeling of emptiness and yearning that he could never really shake off. Sometimes, deep in the night, lying on his bed nursing the bruises and hurts that came with his profession, Kyuhyun would weep bitterly, knowing that there was absolutely nothing that could ever make his pathetic life better.

…

Kyuhyun stared mutely at the sobbing crown prince through the blur of his own tears for a moment, before reigning in his emotions and began roughly wiping his tears away, completely uncaring of his ruined makeup staining the expensive hanbok he was wearing. “Your highness,” he intoned a voice so cold it surprised him, “I’m sorry for not recognizing you. I’m afraid this lowly servant is unfit to serve you, so I would request you leave this establishment.” With that, he swiftly pushed himself up from the ground and stalked towards the door.

Just as he was about to leave the room, a strong hand wrapped itself around his wrist, and spun him back around. His eyes locked with Eunhyuk’s, and in that moment he saw regret, sorrow and… love. Shaking his head in disbelief, he tried once again to escape the room but failed as the crown prince overpowered him physically and pinned him down to the floor. “Here to finally get a taste of what you didn’t years back, huh? Well, me then,” Kyuhyun spat venomously, watching the flash of pain cross Eunhyuk’s face with vicious satisfaction. Eunhyuk was now crying uncontrollably even as he held Kyuhyun down, his breaths coming in hiccups as he struggled to form the words he needed to say, “Kyuhyun-ah, I’m so sorry. I’m so so sorry I couldn’t save you back then.”

“Why? Because you were busy trying to court girls into marrying you?”Kyuhyun rebutted icily, struggling to control his tears himself. “Because you never really loved me, did you? The promise meant nothing to you, right? Did you know it meant the world to me?” Kyuhyun knew he was shouting now, and tears were streaming down his face, the memory of betrayal reopening excruciating wounds in his heart. His words seemed to slice through Eunhyuk like a blade, who crumpled onto the floor and cried incoherently upon hearing them.

Kyuhyun roughly shoved the prince off him, and kicked open the door, bursting out of the room in tears. The other patrons and kisaengs alike stared at him aghast, shocked that the famous Molan was behaving so terribly, but Kyuhyun paid them no heed as he stormed to his room and brought out the bag of monkshood he had acquired for tonight. Yes, it was time for him to put an end to this needless suffering, Kyuhyun thought to himself as he opened the bag when Eunhyuk rushed in, eyes wide with horror.

“Please, Kyu, put that away,” Eunhyuk wept, taking a tentative step towards Kyuhyun. “Let me explain, please,” Eunhyuk pleaded, and continued when Kyuhyun merely stared at him blankly, “I didn’t even know you were captured, the Queen had kept it a secret from me. When I found out, you were already gone, and I couldn’t find you in the capital no matter how hard I searched. And trust me, there is no love between my wife and I, only the political machinations of our parents.”

When Kyuhyun continued to stare blankly at him, Eunhyuk mustered the courage to take another step towards him, but the kisaeng raised his hand to stop him. “It’s alright, Eunhyuk hyung, I understand,” Kyuhyun said in an eerily calm tone, beads of tears rolling down his cheeks, “It’s alright, I forgive you. But I’m ruined anyway, so please, forget me and go away.” Kyuhyun gave Eunhyuk a sad smile, and then rapidly tipped the bag of monkshood down his throat. He closed his eyes as he waited for the poison to take effect, and registered a distant cry of pure grief as a numb burn spread over his whole body and everything became black.

…

Kyuhyun woke up with a hand tightly gripping his, in a bed with silk sheets too fine to be his own. His head was pounding and his body felt awfully lethargic, and he struggled to sit up on the bed. Sensing his movement, the other body sprang to action quickly, and he saw Eunhyuk’s worried face swim into his field of vision. “Kyuhyun-ah, how are you feeling?” Eunhyuk asked softly, tension lacing his voice. Seeing the prince’s face brought Kyuhyun’s memories back, and he remembered his suicide attempt. It must have failed then. Kyuhyun turned away, ashamed, wondering what the prince was trying to do by saving his worthless life.

“Please Kyuhyun, answer me. It has been 2 days since you… ate the monkshood. Please don’t leave me again, okay?” Eunhyuk whispered desperately, trying to get some response out of Kyuhyun. “I promise I won’t leave you again. I’m so sorry for all the pain you had to go through. I will make you my concubine so we can stay together forever, alright?” Eunhyuk prompted Kyuhyun again, squeezing his hand encouragingly.

Kyuhyun gazed up at Eunhyuk’s gummy smile. He could see that it was forced and taut with concern, but what touched him was the unwavering love he felt when he looked into those soft black eyes. Then he remembered who and what he was, and shook his head sadly. “My prince, how could a mere kisaeng be a royal concubine? If the Queen hated me enough to order my execution, how could she accept my naming as a concubine?” Kyuhyun replied, the words tearing at his heart. “The Queen has been deposed for involvement in witchcraft, and her opinion does not matter to me,” Eunhyuk informed Kyuhyun grimly, gripping his hand to convey his conviction in this matter. To Eunhyuk’s dismay, Kyuhyun still shook his head, and mumbled softly in a trembling voice, “Eunhyuk hyung, do you know what I’ve done the past seven years? I’ve slept with more men than can be counted. I’m a filthy that spreads his legs for a living. I don’t deserve to be with you, my beloved crown prince.”

Upon hearing those words, tears swelled unbidden in Eunhyuk’s eyes, and he gently turned Kyuhyun to look at him again. Staring right into Kyuhyun’s eyes, Eunhyuk told him firmly, “No, Kyuhyun, don’t say that of yourself. You only did what you needed to to survive. Besides, I need an experienced partner in bed to teach me about life’s best pleasures, eh?” Eunhyuk smiled cheekily at Kyuhyun through his tears, and when the younger male returned a wavering smile, Eunhyuk knew that he had finally convinced Kyuhyun. Leaning down, Eunhyuk laid a chaste kiss on Kyuhyun’s plump lips, and the two finally shared their first deep embrace in seven years.

The next few days were spent helping Kyuhyun recover, both physically and emotionally. After many repeated reassurances from Eunhyuk that he was indeed good enough to be the prince’s partner, Kyuhyun finally came to accept that his dream was about to become reality. Thankfully, the crown princess was an understanding young lady who accepted her husband’s need for Kyuhyun, and her blessings helped set Kyuhyun’s heart at ease. Well, he supposed Eunhyuk turning a blind eye to her suspicious relationship with a handsome young scholar did help ease her acceptance of Kyuhyun.

Under Eunhyuk’s direction, Kyuhyun’s appointment as royal concubine came quickly, and he was soon swept in a frenzy of congratulatory events. By Kyuhyun’s request, the crown prince allowed the kisaengs of his gyobang to choose freedom if they so wished to, and Kyuhyun brought his closest friend into the palace. Ryeowook was elated to finally retire from being a courtesan, and found himself appointed as Kyuhyun’s personal assistant, which really meant many days of having tea with his best friend. Donghae gladly chose to join a performing troupe as a singer, but Leeteuk’s sense of duty to the gyobang meant he chose to remain in the house.

After all the flurry finally died down, Kyuhyun finally had the time to enjoy the night sky again. This time though, he was lying lazily on the lap of his lover, bathing in both Eunhyuk’s company and the view above him. He snuggled against the warm body, breathing in his lover's scent and enjoying the feeling of Eunhyuk’s fingers carding through his hair. For once, the endless sea of stars didn’t seem to be taunting him with the dreams he could never reach, but rather spoke of the beauty of the world he lived in.