It’s already midnight, but Kyungwon can’t find a proper position to fall asleep. Maybe her body is missing the cuddle and soft kisses planted on her shoulders  – or maybe the person behind it.

 

 Kyungwon stared the ceiling of her room that she shared with Xieyeon and Eunwoo as the memories of her and Minkyung played in her mind.

 

Kyungwon met Minkyung when they both attend the same all-girls school. They’re both transfer students. Kyungwon remember how awkward it is when she approach Minkyung by offering a vanilla ice cream when she saw her sitting alone.

 

Kyungwon can imagine herself like an idiot throwing random stuffs about her – opening herself more about her to evaporate that awkwardness between them and she’s glad when she heard Minkyung started to talk about herself too.

 

They’re getting closer as a day, weeks, months, and years passed by. Kyungwon smiled at herself bitterly at the thought of how close they are before. She sit up ruffling her hair in annoyance.

 

Damn it Minkyung.

 

Kyungwon hissed in her mind diverting her gaze on the empty space beside her. She can still remember how stubborn Minkyung is whenever that latter want to sleep with her every night to cuddle her, to kiss her, and to tell silly things to one another.

 

Kyungwon wants to feel her warmth, to feel home between her arms, and to feel contented just the thought of having her.

 

Then she remembered every reason why she must set aside her feelings – their feelings – no matter how hard it is for them. She heaved a sigh and decide to makea a hot chocolate.

 

Kyungwon didn’t let a noise to wake up her roommates as she carefully close the door and walk towards the kitchen. She was about to make a hot chocolate for herself when she saw her mug with a sticky note posted on a table.

 

‘Drink this. It’s a hot chocolate.

 

Ps. I didn’t put salt this time.’

 

Kyungwon smile at what she just read. She remembered when Minkyung insisted to make her a hot chocolate that one time she can’t sleep. She placed it inside her pocket. She took a seat and drink it.

 

Kyungwon panicked when she heard a click from a door and footsteps walking towards her direction. She pretend that she’s sleeping. She was right that that person is the one who never failed to make her heart beat race.

 

The scent is so addicting.

 

Kyungwon said in her mind as she’s trying so hard not to hug Minkyung.

 

“Did you miss me like how much I miss you?”

 

Kyungwon’s heart not only skips a beat but also ripped as she heard a crack on Minkyung’s voice when she ask her even though the latter was aware she’s ‘sleeping’.

 

Kyungwon wants to pull her closer – embrace her, to wipe her tears by kissing her eyes, to tell her everything is okay, but she can’t.

 

“Don’t skip your meal, take care of yourself, and I hope you’ll not having a hard time to fall asleep.” Minkyung said almost a whisper before she planted a soft kiss on Kyungwon’s cheeks.

 

Kyungwon felt how gentle Minkyung covered her a blanket. It makes her feel the warmth that she wish it comes from the latter’s embrace.

 

~***~

 

Minkyung was hurt when Kyungwon told her to give her ‘space’. She didn’t complain or get mad at her, instead she said ‘okay’.

 

Minkyung was tired of ‘push-and-pull’ between her and Kyungwon, but she didn’t stop to look after the latter.

 

It’s been three days since Kyungwon ask her for a ‘space’ that she gave, but since then, she notice the black below Kyungwon’s eyes and she knows that the latter was having a hard time to get some sleep.

 

Minkyung decided to make Kyungwon a hot chocolate that the latter always drink when all of the members was already sleeping. She was about to leave Kyungwon’s mug there, but she thought of writing a short note on a sticky note wasn’t bad at all.

 

She smiled when she remember that one time she insisted to make a hot chocolate for Kyungwon. Instead of sugar, she put a salt in it. She bite her lower lip preventing herself to laugh out loud by recalling how epic Kyungwon’s facial expression that moment.

 

Minkyung snap and go back to her room. She laid down on her bed staring at the ceiling thinking if Kyungwon notice it or not. She divert her gaze on her side where a giraffe stuffed toy place and poke it.

 

“Don’t ignore that ing hot chocolate Kang Kyungwon” Minkyung whisper.

 

Thirty-minutes had passed, she decided to check that drink she made having a thought in her mind to throw it on a sink and crumple that stupid sticky note.

 

Minkyung’s heart race as she spotted Kyungwon seems fell asleep. She bent slightly to take a closer look to Kyungwon’s face.

 

“Did you miss me like how much I miss you?” Words automatically came out that even Minkyung shock by it even more as her voice cracked when she ask it to Kyungwon who’s obviously sleeping.

 

Maybe because she had enough to keep all of it to herself.

 

 “Don’t skip your meal, take care of yourself, and I hope you’ll not having a hard time to fall asleep.” Minkyung said almost a whisper. She pause trying her best not to kiss Kyungwon on her lips.

 

Okay, Minkyung, not on her ing lips.

 

Minkyung remind herself that.

 

But a kiss on her cheeks is not that bad?

 

Before she mentally protest, she already planted a soft kiss on Kyungwon’s cheeks.

Minkyung carefully place a blanket on Kyungwon’s body before going back to her room.

 

~***~

 

Kyungwon’s alarm clock rang when it hits six-thirty in the morning, but she’s not in the mood to click the stop button. Her mind was fully occupied by what just happened that she can’t even sleep.

 

“Kang Kyungwon your alarm clock is so annoying! Geez, can you at least click that ing stop but—what the ? You didn’t sleep?” Eunwoo stared at Kyungwon with a wide eyes. She didn’t get an answer, but she didn’t mind, she knows there’s something bothering the latter.

 

“Hey, I’ll go ahead. Fix yourself our manager will come here to instruct us about our upcoming album” Eunwoo spare a worried look to Kyungwon before she go out of their room.

 

Xieyeon took a seat on Kyungwon’s bed and tap her hand slightly.

 

“You didn’t feeling well?” Xieyeon ask Kyungwon as she stared at the latter’s face.

 

I’m tired of not being with Minkyung.

 

“I’m just… Tired.” Kyungwon said burying her face on her pillow.

 

“Okay, if you want to talk about it, just tell me anytime.” Xieyeon said and follow Eunwoo outside.

 

Kyungwon stay at herself for a minutes before finally take a shower and follow her roommates outside.

 

Kyungwon was avoiding the member’s curious stare at her and took a seat beside Xieyeon.

Her timing was on time. The discussion about their upcoming comeback was just started.

 

“It seems like the members are all here now. The company wants you to compose for a title track. It’s not individual thou, so you can help each other. Aside from that, we also want all of you to compose for other songs to include in the album.” The manager said looking at them with a bright smile.

 

“Your group also will decide what genre and theme you want. I guess that’s all for today.” The manager finish it before he leave.

 

They’re all excited except Kyungwon who’s obviously spacing out in entire briefing. Xieyeon call Kyungwon’s attention by tapping her nose.

 

“Hey, you’re spacing out again” Xieyeon told her pouting as she continue to pat her nose.

 

Kyungwon was tired of pretending she’s in love with somebody else. But she think it a must for her to do it and so Minkyung can move on.

 

“I’m sorry. Let’s just eat” Kyungwon said and pat Xieyeon’s nose too.

 

~***~

 

What the ? She ask me that ing space for what? To flirt somebody else?

 

 Am I that ugly to replace by someone?

 

Am I not good enough for her?

 

Geez! Kang Kyungwon I can’t read you!

 

Damn it Kyungwon.

 

Minkyung’s thoughts cut by Yebin’s question “Are you jealous?”

 

“No.”

 

“Then why your stare was like digging a hole on Kyungwon’s head?”

 

“It’s not… like that” Minkyung muttered.

 

“Okay, you said so. Unnie, can you go out with me?” Yebin ask Minkyung with a puppy eyes.

 

Minkyung wasn’t in the mood now. She’s about to say ‘No’ to Yebin, when she saw Xieyeon kiss Kyungwon on her cheeks. She feels like her heart was breaking in pieces.

 

 “Okay, I’ll GO out with YOU” Minkyung intended to say it a bit louder and she knew that they catch Kyungwon and Xieyeon’s attention.

 

Minkyung can feel how deadly the glare that Kyungwon throwing at her, but she didn’t mind it. She hold Yebin’s arm to pull her closer to her.

 

“Shall we go now?” Minkyung force a smile on her lips and she’s glad Yebin held her hand.

 

“Okay, but first, we need to wear a cap and mask” Yebin throw a wink at Minkyung that the latter only shake her head and smile.

 

~***~

 

Kyungwon hold Xieyeon’s hand and they both walk to the kitchen. Xieyeon stop for a mean time that makes Kyungwon stop too.

 

“Kyungwon-unnie, you’re so cute” Xieyeon said and before Kyungwon react on it, she feel a soft kiss planted on her cheeks.

 

Kyungwon slightly distance herself and touch the part that Xieyeon kissed.

 

There’s something Kyungwon wants to clarify to Xieyeon when she heard what Minkyung said to Yebin. She divert her gaze to Minkyung and Yebin’s direction unconsciously throwing a deadly glare to Minkyung.

 

Kyungwon wants to yell ‘No, you can’t go out with my girl’ tell the members that Minkyung is only hers and Minkyung own her too, but she can’t.

 

Kyungwon’s heart ripped as she witness how Minkyung hold Yebin’s arm to pull the latter close to her. She bite her lower lip to prevent herself saying things that shouldn’t be come out.

 

It tear her apart inside the moment she saw Minkyung’s smiling at what Yebin did. That smile she miss to see and now that she saw it, she’s not the reason behind it.