Even under his light cotton sheet, Hakyeon could feel the heat radiating from his body. “Not today.” he thought. For the past few weeks, he has been catching frequent fevers and feeling aches all over his body. He thought that he must be getting old, as he finds it harder to catch up during the vigorous dance practice these days. He chose to brush it aside.

He struggles to sit up from his bed, panting heavily. He wipes the sweat away from his face and sits up from his bed, clutching his head as he groans in pain. Slowly he got up from his bed, holding on to the walls for support. His body felt as if he had been bruised in every corner. He went to the toilet and takes a look at himself in the mirror. Dark circles can be seen and his skin had a ghostly shade of pale. He let out a deep and weary sigh before washing his face. 

He wore a black hat over his head and mask to cover his pale features as he did not want to worry s. 

“Hyung! Come and have something to eat before leaving for your schedule!” Jaehwan hollers as he sees Hakyeon leaving his room.

“I’m not hungry. You guys go ahead. I’ll eat something on the way later.” Hakyeon answers as he unlocks the door to leave the dorm. 

“Is there something wrong with Hakyeon hyung? He’s been acting weird these days. Do you think he’s sick?” Jaehwan asks worriedly to no one in particular at the strange behaviour of their leader.

“Maybe he’s just tired from all the schedules.” Taekwoon says as he continued spreading jam over his toast. Jaehwan nods his head in agreement and continues eating.

Hakyeon meets his manager downstairs. While walking to the van, he almost loses his balance due to the sudden weakness of his legs. Luckily his manager caught him in time. 

“Still feeling unwell? Did you take any medicine last night before going to bed?” His manager asks.

Hakyeon nods his head as his manager helps him to the van. Once in the van, he removes his mask and hat, leaning his head on the chair. He closes his eyes weakly.

“Let’s go to the hospital for a IV drip. We still have some time before your schedule starts. At least it will make you feel better.” His manager says.

Hakyeon did not argue as the fever has depleted his energy for the past few days.

Once they arrived at the hospital, Hakyeon told the doctor the symptoms that he has been experiencing over the past few weeks. Soon, he fell into a deep sleep, with the IV drip attached to his wrist.

When he woke up, he felt slightly better. He was about the leave the hospital with his manager when the doctor approached him with his medical report.

“Mr. Cha Hakyeon? Are you free for a moment? I would like to speak to you in regards to your medical report.” The doctor said.

Hakyeon’s manager looked at his watch and nodded his head. They entered the doctor’s office together and took a seat in front of his desk.

“We’ve done a blood test for you and we found out that there is some abnormalities in your white blood cells. I’m sorry to say but there’s a high chance that you have leukemia. Symptoms of leukemia include bleeding and bruising problems, feeling tired and frequent fever. We recommend that you undergo chemotherapy treatment.” The doctor says as he looks at him.

Upon hearing the news, Hakyeon’s mind was sent reeling, unable to comprehend or process the news that he just heard. He had cancer. He was going to die. A small part of him wanted to cry but he suddenly laughed. “Are you joking with me right now? It’s not funny you know.” 

“I’m sorry, Mr. Cha.” The doctor said as he looks at Hakyeon, eyes full of pity. 

“But..but it’s impossible! IM NOT SICK!” Hakyeon shouted in denial as he tried to remove the IV needle in his hand but failed when his manager tried to hold him down.

“No! This is not true!! How can this happen to me! LET ME GO!” Hakyeon screamed as he tried to struggle out of his manager’s hold. His screams slowly turned in heart wrecking sobs as he held on to the manager’s arm. 

“Why me…of all people in the world..” He cried as he was overwhelmed with sadness and despair. Upon seeing the broken leader, his manager couldn’t stop the tears from falling too.

An hour later, his manager finally managed to calm Hakyeon down. He cancelled his schedule and sent him back to the dorm to rest. Once they arrived in the dorm, his manager got a cup of warm water for Hakyeon.

“Hyung, what happened today..can you help me to keep it a secret from the members?” Hakyeon whispers as he stared into his manager’s eyes.

“Why would you do that Hakyeon? At times like this, wouldn’t it be better for them to stay by your side to give you support-“ his manager said agitatedly but was interrupted by Hakyeon.

“No hyung. I’ve decided. I do not want to become a burden than I already am. If you insist, I’ll leave to somewhere that you’ll never be able to find me again. ” Hakyeon threatens.

“Okay, if you insist. But promise me, that you’ll do the treatment.” His manager says firmly.

Before Hakyeon could reply, the rest of the members entered the house. 

“Hakyeon hyung, why are you back so early? Did something happen?” Hyuk asked with a awkward chuckle when he sensed the tension between the leader and the manager. Upon seeing the members, Hakyeon stood up and left the room, ignoring the members. He did not have the courage to face s, at least not for now.

“N-nothing’s wrong, Hyuk. The schedule got postponed that’s all. Hakyeon’s tired so I just sent him back. I’m leaving now. See you guys tomorrow. Have a good rest.” The manager answered as he left the dorm.

“Hakyeon! Is everything okay? Did something happen? Do you want to talk about it?” Taekwoon asks as he went to knock on Hakyeon’s room door as he felt that something was wrong with the leader’s behaviour.

“I’m just tired that’s all.” Hakyeon says softly. Relieved with the answer he hears, Taekwoon turned and left him alone.

When Taekwoon left, Hakyeon sat on the corner of his bed, hugging his knees. Tears started to fall from his eyes. The grief and despair he felt surged with every expelled breath, always reaching higher peaks, never sufficiently soothed by his long intakes of the air. Tears began to spill from his helpless eyes as he stared into the space, feeling more alone than ever.

For the next few days, Hakyeon chose to indulge himself in countless number of schedules and avoiding the members. He was afraid that if he talked to the members, he would break and eventually spill the secret that he painstakingly did not want them to know. 

On the other hand, the members can’t help but feel that something is wrong with the leader’s behaviour the past few days.

“Don’t you guys feel that something is wrong with Hakyeon hyung? It feels as if..he’s purposely avoiding us? Do you think he’s upset that we’re always teasing him and ignoring him?” Hongbin asks as he fiddles with the food in front of him.

“Maybe we should talk to him about it later. Let’s wait up for him.” Taekwoon says as he looks at the members. They nod their heads in acknowledgement to Taekwoon’s suggestions.

All of them stayed up to wait for Hakyeon. However, at 2am in the morning, Hakyeon still wasn’t back. It was unusual for him to not be back until at 2am even with his personal schedules. Sanghyuk couldn’t bring himself to wait upstairs so he went downstairs to keep a lookout.

At the carpark, he finally saw his leader and manager hyung. He was about to approach them when he heard Hakyeon say something that made his blood freeze.

“Have you finally made you decision to do this? Have you thought about the feelings of the members if you decide to hide this from them? What happens when they find out if you decide to do this alone? It wouldn’t be easy hiding it from them.” Sanghyuk heard their manager say.

“I’ve made up my mind. Although I’ve decided to go for it, it does not stop me from continuing the group activities with VIXX, at least when I leave, it will be easier for them isn’t it? I’ll talk to the President about terminating my contract..-” Hakyeon says with a small smile on his face.

He couldn’t bring himself to continue listening to the conversation between them. He couldn’t believe that their beloved leader is going to betray and abandon them himself. He ran back up the dorm, tears threatening to spill. When he arrived, the members were shocked to see the state of their maknae. 

Hyuk told them the conversation he heard and started to sob uncontrollably. Upon hearing what the maknae said, everyone was disappointed and angry at their leader. They couldn’t believe that their leader will choose to abandon them after gaining popularity himself and here they were, worried for Hakyeon, constantl