"Song Mino! Where are you, you brat?!" Hayi's voice echoed through the corridor as her footsteps grew louder and louder. It actually sounds creepy but thankfully she screamed first. At least I was able to calm myself down knowing it was her.

Aish, what does she need again this time though?

I closed my book and stood up just in time as she opened the classroom door. She  automatically gave me a bored look after resting her head on the door frame. "Song. Min. Ho."

"Yo." I greeted her back with the same intensity of boredom written on my face.

Her face suddenly became red and automatically gave me a death glare. Woops. Scary.

But still cute. How could her?

"Ya! Are you crazy?! It's already 6 pm! What are you still doing here?!" She shouted as she entered and closed the door lazily, her face drenched with sweat. Where the hell did she wander again?

This punk seriously. Disturbing me everytime in every possible way.

I put my backpack on. "I was about to go home." I told her and walked towards the other door opposite from where she entered.

"Thankfully. Don't you know how much your mom has nagged me about you?" She held my arm and started walking, pulling the 'me' who's out of it as soon as our skin touched. 

. I shouldn't be feeling like this. We're childhood friends. And we're almost siblings. Pull yourself together Song Mino. Stop thinking about those weird things. You seem like some byuntae. Shameful. 

"Ya, Song Mino. Are you out of it again?" Hayi whispered before hitting my head with her hand. Tsss. That was painful. "Aish. Pay attention you jerk. You'll fall down." She screamed while looking down the stairs.

I held the part of my head affected as I shoot her with my laser beams. Why do I always have to be hit like this? Sssssssh this gizibae.  

But it's ok though, as long as it's her.

Woooooooo, the cringe.

I mentally slapped myself, pulled out the handkerchief from my pocket and wiped the sweat all over her face. Why couldn't she do these simple things really? Ugh. She never grew up.

"Are you even a girl?" I said to ease the growing awkwardness inside me. Yes its awkward, super. We're already grown-ups but this girl here never really changed.

She just pouted her plump lips and moved her face closer to me. 

Damn. No. Wait. I'm not ready yet.

"Y-yah, Lee Hayi. What do you think you're doing?" I walked back a few steps from her and gave her a glare. "You're making me uncomfortable." Well not really uncomfortable but my heart just started beating faster I think I'm losing oxygen and its freaking me out.

"Ey..." She murmured as she took my hanky and wiped her face by herself. She inched away and turned her back.

We walked down the stairs quietly until we reached the groundfloor. She let go of my arm, took a few steps forward and then stopped.

What's wrong this time?

I stopped right behind her and I accidentally looked at the glass window. And woah, it's already dark. Maybe I was too invested with my book huh?

"Mino." 

I looked back at Hayi still standing on her spot facing away from me.

"Do you like someone?" She whispered with her husky voice giving me instant chills. 

"HUH?! "

She turned back to face me with her palm in the air —I'm pretty sure that's for my face or any part of my body she wished to hit me— but she immediately pulled away. "Yash! Are you crazy? The janitor will hear us." She screamed slash whispered with her poker face. 

I rolled my eyes on her and started walking to the main exit. 

"Ya, Song Mino. Your answer!" She half screamed half whispered as she followed me on her tiptoes. 

I got out of the school building and waited for her on the field. 

"Why don't you answer me?" She asked again soon as she set foot on the ground with her arms crossed. She's fed up. 

I let out a sigh and looked at her intently. "Lee Hayi, how can you think of those things in this very time? Aren't you stressed out about college?"

"No, I'm not. I will just follow you anyway." She smirked. "And besides, I haven't really seen you dating anyone since we were kids." 

"Ya, have you dated?" I asked her back. 

She automatically shifted her gaze away from me and started to walk faster. I knew it.

I stopped myself from grinning and followed her. 

"I am just not interested about dating ok? It's not like nobody's interested in me, I'm just not into it. So don't think like I'm not—" 

"—Alright. Alright." I cut her off as I laughed my heart out. 

Defensive little girl. 

"OUCH! WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!" I screamed out of pain as she hit me again. Much painful this time. Tsssss

"YA! SONG MINO!" 

I lazily opened my eyes lightly after hearing that voice calling my name and I almost choke as I  immediately saw Lee Hayi's face in the very front of me. 

"Ya. Are you not gonna wake up?" She screamed again. Much louder this time.

What is this girl's problem? I'm already awake. What does she want? I just gave her a bored look and closed my eyes again.

"How dare you save me when you couldn't even save yourself you idiot?!" I was thinking of just ignoring her whining but something's wrong. This time I can hear small cries from her.

What the heck?

I annoyingly opened my eyes because seriously the thing that I hated the most is Lee Hayi crying. I surely wouldn't forgive anyone who made her cry. How dare him?

"I am awake ok? And can you just stop crying? I hate it." I whispered without looking back at her. I know she's gonna make fun of my cheesiness again.

I waited for her to answer.

But instead of cute giggles, her cries grew louder and louder.

Seriously...

I was about to scream out of frustration when the door across opened and Hayi's mom came in. I immediately bowed my head down and gave her a smile.

She glanced at me briefly and then back to Hayi who's still bawling her eyes out. "He wouldn't come back Hayi. You know that."

I automatically creased my forehead after hearing what her mom said. "What do you mean?"

What the heck is happening? Can't they just tell me straight?

I  looked around me and realized that I am in a hospital room. What the hell happened? And why am I lying in the hospital bed?

I stared back at them talking to each other. Hayi is still crying while her mom quietly hugging her. Wait what? Guys, I'm awake. I am fine. Hayi why are you sobbing? I am here. I won't leave you. Stupid. You know I would never leave you. 

I was about to get up and walk to them when my surroundings began to move in a weird circular way. What the heck?!

I quickly closed my eyes for a moment because if I didn't I would be seriously vomiting right now. That would be the worst.

After calming myself for a few minutes, I slowly opened my eyes and I mysteriously found  myself in a dark road. Well, not really dark because of the streetlights. It's just dark because it's already evening.

What the? I looked around my surroundings and saw Hayi and a guy not that far from me. I walked towards them and I was finally able to see the guy's face. But wait. That was me though.

Wait. What is happening really?

Was that a doppleganger? Oh my gosh.

"Don't you have any girls you're interested right now?" I heard Hayi spoke. "I can keep secrets you know."

The other me smirked. "Why are you so interested about those things huh?" He stood on the side of the road and looked at the red stoplight turning green any second.

"I..I'm not. Well I am. But its just that I want to know what kind of girl do you like." She answered and followed him.

"Because?"

"Nothing in particular really."

"Wait. Don't tell me you like me?" He .

Hayi looked at him shocked. "WHAT?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?" She suddenly screamed and marched across the street blindly. 

Wait idiot, the light's still red. Before I was able to call her, a sudden flash of headlights lightened up the dark street. I froze.

No.

A crashing sound echoed through the empty highway. And that's not a nice sound. .

No. 

I'm just dreaming anyway. It's just a dream Mino. You should wake up now. This dream is not good.

"Song Mino! Wake up! Anyone please help! Oh my God. Song Mino you idiot. Don't you dare die."

I bravely walked to the part of the road where the car crashed and saw Hayi weeping while holding a guy's body. Blood flowing down his head painting the road red. Oh Lord thankfully she's safe, thank you so much..

"Song Mino! Wake up! Anyone please help! Oh my God. Song Mino you idiot. Don't you dare die."

Wait. I looked at the guy whose blood is slowly escaping his body. And it hit me.

NO.

 

Two years later

It's been two years since Mino left this world. He's not here anymore. But it still hasn't sinked in me yet. I still couldn't believe it. And I'm still blaming myself for everything.

Maybe I should have just confessed my feelings for him that time. Maybe he could still be alive right now. Regretfully, I was a coward. A sad smile formed on my lips. You're disappointing Hayi. Really.

I picked up my bag and walked out of the lecture room.

"Lee Hi, your e-mail address? I will just send my report to you if that's ok." 

I took out my post-it and wrote down my e-mail. "Jung Jaewon, I need it asap. So please, work on it." I told him as I give him the piece of paper.

"Yeah. Thanks for understanding. But don't worry I'll work on it tonight. Then see you." He quickly walked away after putting my paper on his pocket. Tsss.

How many times have I given him my e-mail though? The deadline for that project is nearing rapidly. What should I do with him? Ugh.

I stretched my arms out and walked across the hallway to the cafeteria. I am feeling hungry of all this works piling up. Plus the finals is just in the corner.

My life for the past two years was always like this. I'm living as if I had to. Mino is still coming back to my memories every now and then. And my mind would just drift away again escaping the reality. And it would always end up with me blaming myself for everything. I want to be with him, it is as simple, and as complicated as that.

"Lee Hayi, you zombie." Someone hit me with a book on top of my head. "Here."

I stopped and looked at the notebook he's handing me. "What's this?" I asked him uninterested.

"It's Mino's notebook. Maybe he left it when we had a boys' night? I actually cleaned my room for the first time in three years and I found that." He answered proudly while giving me his most annoying smirk.

Mino's notebook? Why the hell is it on his possession?  

"Lee Seunghoon. Why are you giving it to me?"

He crossed his arms and looked at me intently. "You're bestfriends. Idiot. Seriously Hayi?" He started walking away but stopped suddenly and looked back at me. "Not coming? I was planning to eat right now. I'm kinda hungry. My treat."

A smile formed on my lips. "Who would ignore a food?" I answered as I followed him to the cafeteria.

 

"So, won't you read that?" Seunghoon asked while pouting towards the notebook on my side. 

I looked down on it for a few seconds but looked away after. I took a sip from my juice then took a deep breathe. Why am I feeling so nervous over a notebook anyway?

Why am I so weird?

"I'm still eating." I answered him with the lamest excuse ever.

I saw him roll his eyes before shoving his pasta into his mouth. "You can eat while reading though?"

"It's just his high school notes anyway. What's making you so excited about it?" I told him as I roll my eyes and took a bite from my burger. "And besides, haven't you read it before giving it to me?"

"I'm a good friend. Privacy is privacy." He took the notebook away and opened it. "But since you're annoying, not now." He started to read along the lines but I just shrugged. "I saw Hayi with that nerd guy again. Are they dating? Why are they always together during lunch?" My forehead creased as I heard him babbling nonsense. "Woah. Is it Song Mino's infamous diary?"

I almost choke on my burger after hearing him saying Mino's name along with a diary because that is just so impossible.. What?

I looked at him bewildered. What the heck?

He just stared back at me shock written all over his face. Aish. I tried to swallow the food inside my mouth quickly and snatched the notebook from his hands.

What was that? I blinked a lot of times making sure that the writings in that notebook were real. BUt after every blink, the words did not disappear.

They were indeed real. He really wrote those things. They were his handwritings. Song Mino freaking wrote a diary. What a smol fluffball he was. A drop of water rolled down my left cheek. 

"Why? Why?" Seunghoon asked hysterically. "Oi Lee Hayi. What was written?"

After a few moments of not getting an answer from me, he irritatedly took the notebook from my shaking hand and read it. After a couple of minutes, he closed the notebook and looked at me with big eyes.

He did not talk for a moment. And so did I. We just stared at each other blankly.

"Oh, you're gonna swap your faces after more minutes of staring." 

I looked at the newly arrived girl sitting on one of the vacant seats beside me. "Suhyun-ah."

She crossed her legs and took a sip from my juice. "What's with those faces?"

Seunghoon and I shook our heads at the same time and tried to focus on Suhyun more than the notebook. I saw him putting it in his bag sneakily and gave Suhyun a big smile throwing away the shook we felt a few seconds ago. Suhyun actually didn't know about Mino. We met her in college.

"No, we're just having a staring battle." Seunghoon answered her cheerfully.

She just nodded quickly and clinged to my arm.

"Tell you what, our college has another hot professor." She excitedly announced while pinching my arm. "He's super hot I could die."

"As if he would date you." Seunghoon popped her bubble. "Stop reading fanfics. It's bad for your mental health."

Suhyun glared at him. "Duh, I never said that I would like to date him."

"Well that was the bottom line of your story anyway." Seunghoon stikes back.

"Wow, when did a compliment's bottom line became 'dating' the person itself? Is it wrong to appreciate the art of human beauty?" Suhyun counterattacked with a sharp eyeroll to end the war sassily.

I just giggled with their words and continued eating my remaining food. Mhmmmm that was fulfilling.

The things written on Mino's notebook started to pop up of my head. Were they really real? Did he really love me? If that was the case, then we really waited for each other in vain.

Think of it, we really liked each other but no one came forward and confessed. And now that he's gone, it's much more painful to think of it that way. If someone had confessed between us, could he still be alive right now? Are we still dating for the past two years? Am I living a more colorful life? And not blaming myself for all that's happened?

Song Mino. Why did we end up this way?

"Woah woah woah. Guys. He's here." Suhyun screamed in panic as she hit my shoulder with her flapping hand. 

What the heck?

Seunghoon and I looked at the direction where she was staring at with her eyes popping out with hearts.

. WAIT.

"What the actual ?" Seunghoon squealed out of his seat and made his eyes tinier to look at the guy sharply. "That was impossible. Lee Hayi." He looked back at me still shook of the turn of events. He then looked back at the teacher checking his features again then turned back at me while holding in his laughter.

Suhyun still giggling turned to us and said,

"Look at you two. Shooked with Kwon Jiyong-ssaem."

-긑-

 

Sorry if it turned out weird.