Hi! :D

Hm? It’s morning already?

Sighing, i stretched my body and let out a loud groans.

, my whole body is aching all over.

Did I fell asleep on the sofa? Again?  I wonder while looking aroung the messy and poorly lit living room.

A soft tapping sound suddenly bring me back to my sense. I turned my head to the source of the sound.

a dove?

I watch it softly knocking on my window glass with its beak. Like it was reminding me that i should start my days off. Not slacking around here like a bum.

I keep on staring on that dove, like I dont have anything better to do. Which i truly don’t. Anoter dove is joining, looks like they are mates. They seem to be communicating with each other, and the next minute, they flies to the vast sky, together. Leaving me here, still sitting on a sofa, watching them until their form are totally out of my sight. I ironically smile.

Even doves are making me envy...

I looked at the clock that is hanging on the wall in front of me. And i frowned, the clock is not running. Sigh, how could I always forget to change its battery? It ran out for 3 months already... Sighing, i reach for my handphone that lies on the table beside me.

7.05 am

I should prepare... they must be coming soon...

I reach for the remote that is lying beside my cell phone, intending to turn off the video i watched last night to sleep, when suddenly a really familiar face of beautiful man pops up on the screen, he is showing a very bright smile to the camera, so bright that everything surrounding him suddenly turns to white. That smile was so breathtakingly beautiful, that it almost looks surreal.

It halted my action as a smile unconsciously gracing my lips.

That Jaejoong... Even after a long time, he still have this kind of effect on me.

This  lips always involuntarily curved up whenever I see him smiling.

I decide it wouldn’t hurt if i take my time a little bit longer. laying my back on the sofa , i pressed the replay button.

Its Just a simple video of us, back then. When we were younger. When everything seemed to be perfect. We ran here and there on a vast snow covered playground.

Junsu and Changmin were seen bickering with each other. They’re throwing snow balls on each other face, and Yoochun was seen backing Junsu up, also throwing snow balls to the youngest face. And Jaejoong, was seen laughing so freely, watching his beloved dongsaengs fighting like a child. That moment, his addictive laughing voice suddenly fill this vacant room, stimulating the stiffened nerve on my face, giving another smile on it, a thing that used to absent from my face lately.

The next second, the laughing sound faltered, Jaejoong was throwing a nervous look on the camera when he finally realized that he was being filmed closely, He looked flustered and throw an adorable pouts to the one who held the camera, Me.

“W... what are you doing? Don’t just go recording around! You have to stop them! Or else Changmin will become a snowman! He could catch a cold!” Jaejoong scold me softly, both of his cheeks are glowing with a color of rosy red.

I smiled contentedly. Remembering those days back then.

“Hey guys!” now, its my baritone voice coming out from the speaker.

All of the 4 guys, including Jaejoong, turned their head towards the camera.

“Lets buy some ramyun on our favorite place, my treat!”Again, it was my voice coming out from the video.

All of my dongsaengs and Jaejoong seems bewildered by the sudden kindness. And I, watching their reaction all over again, laughing softly.

“whats the occassion, Hyung?” Changmin ask still in doubt.

“Uh huh. You wouldn’t even treat Us when you lose a bet!” Yoochun added.

“Umm... actually. I just received my result for the entrance exam of police academy this morning...” My voice slowly trailed.

Now i get their full attention aimed completely towards me. Hopes are clearly written on their faces, waiting for me to finish my announcement. Feeling rather giddy, i clear my throat once.

“And I Passed!” my voice on the video sounding so proud and all.

The video ended with all four of them are happily charging towards the camera. Resulting a shaky and unfocus image for a while as the camera was unintentionally thrown out from my hand, to the snow covered ground. The rest of the video only recorded an image of a snow white playground, with a series of laugh and cheerful congratulatory words could be heard on the background, which could be heard echoing anf filling this empty room.

Letting a content sigh, I reached for the remote and finally turned the video off for sure this time.

n-o-c-t-u-r-n-e

“Hyung, are You ready?” Junsu ask me carefully.

I give him a weak smile. I know that it wasn’t enough to assure him that I was okay. But, this is all i could muster.

Junsu reply my smile with a slight nod and turn to hug Yoochun arm. Yoochun encircle his arm around Junsu tiny shoulder and whispering some comforting words to him. I notice the slight shiver in Junsu tense shoulder.

I feel a soft tug on my arm and i turn my head towards the source. My eyes met with the familiar twinkling doe eyes that are trying to match my gaze. There stood beside me, with a white gown shirt that is further complimenting his already pale skin, the love of my life. No, my sole reason to live, My wife, Jung Jaejoong.

He clumsily tried to slid his hand on my arms. With a soundless chuckles, trying to slowed down my pace so that he could matched my stride with his. I stay there gazing at his smiling face. When he is successfully hook his arm with mine, he nudge us to finally walk.

With the most sincere smile i could put today, we head towards Yoochun’s car. Ready for our journey.

n-o-c-t-u-r-n-e

The drive was deafeningly silent. It’s always been like this. Everytime on this exact date.

Changmin turn the radio on, trying to ease the tension by giving the drive some enjoyable music. He surfed through some station until a familiar tune of a song finally stopped him. His lips turn upward in an unconcious smile.

“this was Jaejoong’s-hyung favorite right?” Changmin asked, looking at the back seat through the rear mirror.

Jaejoong was looking at him back through the rear view as he jumps happily in his seat, complete with a childish enthusiastic nod.

It was our song, Yurisangja- May I love you. I could feel Jaejoong gently leaned his head on my shoulder as he softly humming the tune of the song we often sang together. I briefly close my eyes as i remembering how his melodious voice always filled our spacious home. It almost put me to sleep if not for him suddenly tugging my shirt, prompting me to stay awake.

I slowly open my eyes and turn my head sideway to face him. He giggles mischiveously as he was shaking his head, refusing to let me sleep. How i missed seeing him smiling at me like that.

Jaejoong smile gets wider as the car was passing on a familiar place, he looked pass my shoulder to the road outside, once he saw what he was searching for, he nudged my hands softly and pointing towards a familiar building outside the window. My heart pleasanltly skipped a beat when i get a look on what he was pointing at.

It was one of our memorial place. The place where we learned to be honest to each other. The place where i realized that there is no point for me keeping my unrequited feelings to myself anymore.

It was the place where our story began....

-flashback-

“what? Break up? But why oppa?” Seul gi devastatedly ask the man in front of him, clearly had no clue of what she may had done wrong that her boyfriend suddenly ask her for a breakup.

“Actually... Yoon gi, i realized that i have no such feelings for you, what i feel towards You is more like what a brother feel to his little sister. im really sorry~” Yunho clap his palm in front of his bowed head, hiding his face from the girl in front of him. He has no talent on putting a fake front, so he can’t purposefully put a sad and regretful face when he decide to break it off with his previous exes. This, often brings more trouble for him.

“But. Oppa... i dont wanna break up with you... just give us sometime Oppa, i... i can change that. Just give me one more chance to make you fall in love with me, Oppa...” Seulgi pleads as she was gripping down yunho palm while occasionally wiped of his glassy eyes.

Yunho take a peek over his palm, and sighed loudly. This is going to be tough... I need a backup... where is he anyway... he was supposed to be here already. Yunho thought as he is stealing a look towards the cafe entrance.

Just about the right time, the cafe entrance was opened, revealing a familiar face of a beautiful man with blonde hair. The man looks like he was in a rush, he was looking all over the cafe before he spots Yunho sitting on one of the chairs. He approached Yunho with a worried look.

Yunho was grinning from ear to ear seeing his best friend finally come to save his day, but then he remembered that he is breaking up with someone. He sure showing a face plastered with blasting smile while trying to break up with someone wouldn’t guarantee him any good consequences. So he tried his best to supress his smile.

“Yunho-ah, what’s wrong? I just read your message saying that you had a stomach cramp, are you o-Waaaah!” Jaejoong couldn’t finish his words when all of a sudden his hand was pulled roughly and the next thing he know, he was standing beside Yunho with the latter's hand circling around his shoulder firmly.

“And Son gi, i was about to introduce you to my lover... Jaejoong!” Yunho announced loudly. Hoping the girl in front of him would finally give up.

“WHA..mmmff!” Jaejoong shout of shock was cut off halfway as Yunho was trying his best to keep him shut up by covering Jaejoong mouth with his palm. But by no means Jaejoong will comply with Jung Yunho foolishness. He mightfully tried to pry Yunho off his lips, alas all the effort gone bringing no effect in the face of the powerful Jung Yunho. “Well... you see, Sun gi, my... my lover is still shy towards other, that’s why he is acting this way.. haha..” Yunho awkwardly laugh as he is trying to keep Jaejoong from struggling so much. “we-we’ve been dating for... er... a month” Yunho added up to his lie.

The girl quickly rise from his seat “But, oppa. we’ve just been dating for 2 weeks!”

The struggling stop. Jaejoong send a glare to Yunho who is quickly diverting his eyes upward avoiding Jaejoong piercing glare.

"You idiot! If you decide to involve me on this stupid argument, at least make some sense out of it." Jaejoong whispers lowly to Yunho

"I dont know~~ i can’t even remember her name correctly" Yunho whispered back.

“we... welll.. Sunny-ssi, then that should give you some kind of idea....” Yunho didn’t even  know how he was suppose to talk back.

The girl finally caught on that she was just being played around and balled his palm into a fist tightly. Her face showing a pure warth. She marchs forward and takes a pitcherful of  freshly squeezed orange juice that she just order earlier on top of their table.

Oh no. Not this again! Jaejoong quickly catch on the situation and immediately crouch down on the floor.

Splash!

The cafe went silent as everyone was baffled by the scene unfold in front of them. Seriously, it was just like a scene played in a melodrama. Jaejoong release a relief sigh as he was successfully get away from being the target of this girl tantrum. He looked up and couldn’t help to let out a chuckled as he was seeing how ridiculous the mighty Jung Yunho looks drenched out in orange juice. Yunho eyes were closed  as the impact of the splash. He sigh loudly as he wiped the sticky liquid off his face.

“and one more thing...” the girl march quickly toward Yunho. Jaejoong quickly step aside, sensing another danger is approaching.

“MY NAME IS BAE SEUL GI, YOU JERK!” she yelled on Yunho face as she was kicking his shin. Jaejoong scrunch his face. Uh, that must be hurts. Yunho let out a painful yelp and fall down crouching to hug his leg. The girl finally left the with a loud humph.

-/-/-/-

“Aaaaa... choooo!” Yunho sniffed.

Now that he was strolling around the town in the mid of winter with clothes drenched with orange juice, he could feel his body was freezing to the bone. He sure as hell he is going to catch a cold tomorrow.

“Aww... serves you right for playing with so many girls heart...” Jaejoong mocks Yunho loudly. “and what the heck Yunho. This is not the first time You used me for something like this!” He added, scolding the taller man. He was pouting when he got no response from the latter, as Yunho was busy shivering.

Yunho couldn’t resist pinching Jaejoong cheek “Omo omo. Uri Jaejoongie is so cute when he was sulking~” Yunho cooed. Jaejoong shrugs Yunho hand “I am serious, Yunho-yah!” He hit Yunho back several times but Yunho just laugh it off.

“Aaaahaachooo” Yunho sneeze louder, this time his nose becoming red. Jaejoong stop hitting Yunho and immediately undo the scarf he wears around his neck. He wrap it tightly on Yunho neck without even thinking. Once the scarf was snuggling fit on Yunho neck he glance on Yunho face. Yunho is smiling so smugly. “heheee i know you won’t have the heart just to leave me alone, Joongie” Yunho grins. Jaejoong just smile along, he really can’t win over Yunho and once again punch Yunho chest lightly. Yunho scrunch his face and exaggerating an ouch.

“Ask someone else Yunho. Don’t always drag me of this stupid lovers quarell you had twice a month!” Jaejoong protest “Its just the matter of time before one of your exes would step up the game and kill me!” Jaejoong added, he got shivers down his spine just imagining it. Yunho only chuckles and  Jaejoong hair gently “that would never happen. Prince Yunho is here to guarantee your safety, princess! hehe” Yunho said back jokingly.

Feeling a bit irritated, Jaejoong shrugged Yunho hands off, he don’t like it how sometime Yunho only responded to his scolds with jokes, like he don't take Jaejoong protest seriously. “Seriously, Yunho-yah! You should stop this... I probably won’t be able to help You from now on... I might get into trouble” Jaejoong said matter of factly, he nervously played with his own hand.

“And why? Its not like you have lover that would get mad over you being someone else pretend boyfriend right?” Yunho reasoned with a loud laugh... that soon faltered because Jaejoong's lack of respond. “J... Jaejoong-ah?” He ask cautiously , sensing something off on how his best friend was acting.

“W-well... Im considering dating someone...” Jaejoong said timidly as he is smiling, his cheeks slowly turning into a hue of soft pink. It was pretty, Yunho thought. if only it was because of him.

Yunho halt his step “what?!” his voice come out louder than what he intended to. “how-how come i didn’t know about this?” Yunho added. . He can hear himself stuttering.

Jaejoong turn around, facing Yunho again, a wide smile still plastered on his beautiful face. This is the first time Yunho despise Jaejoong smile. “do you know Choi Siwon? The head of student council when we were on high school? It was such a coincidence that we are taking the same english class. He ask me going out for a date tomorrow... and i think i might get going...” Jaejoong trail as he was reminiscing as the handsome classmate shyly asking him out just several hour ago. They were going to have lunch date together back then, if only Yunho 'emergency' message didn't interrupted them.

“Yo-you can’t go out with someone you didn’t like Jaejoong-ah, t-that.. that might lead him on thinking that you likes him back! that- that was... that was the same as you were playing with someone else heart Jaejoong-ah! You can’t play with someone heart! God forbids such deed!” Yunho was panicking. He don’t even know what nonsense he was blabbering about.

“Whoaaah... that’s rich. Coming off  a first class playboy like you...” Jaejoong said, dumbfounded by Yunho sudden incoherent blabbers.

“Tha... that’s different!!” I WAS PLAYING AROUND AND CHANGING GIRLFRIEND EVERY 2 WEEKS BECAUSE I WAS LOOKING FOR YOUR REACTION!!! Yunho screamed on his mind. He really wants to yell it out loud to this slowpoke friend of his that can’t even figure out Yunho feelings for him despite the subtle signs he always show towards Jaejoong. But he can’t. they have been best friend for such a long time. And Yunho was too afraid of rejection. It might ruin the friendship that they are having all this time.

“How could that be any different...?” Jaejoong ask cluelessly, he furrows his brow.

“A-ANYWAY!” Yunho suddenly shout, startling Jaejoong. “Th-there is no way i would allow you to go out with him!” Yunho said full of finality. He quickly walks ahead leaving Jaejoong completely baffled.

“Yah...” Jaejoong try to protest as he was running to catch up to Yunho long strode. “And who do you think you are deciding things for me?” Jaejoong ask irritatedly. As he was trying so hard to catch up to Yunho who refused to slow down his pace. Yunho abruptly stop and turns around “If I said NO, Then it means NO! And its final!” Yunho stubbornly said, turning back once again, continuing his walk. Leaving Jaejoong completely flabbergasted.

SMACK!

Yunho was stopped with sudden force of something hitting the back of his head. A snowball. He turns around to protest “yah..”

“why are you so selfish?” Jaejoong shout, his eyes was already gleaming. He can’t believe Yunho behavior. Why did Yunho always act like he have some rights to always decide everything for him. Can’t he be happy for him just like how he acts whenever Yunho was introducing his new girlfriend to him? He always congratulate Yunho.

Even though it feels a bit hurting inside.  He always support whatever decision Yunho picks for himself. Even though Yunho never ask his opinion on anything.

Then why Yunho can’t just do the same? Jaejoong sniffed. He can already feels a burning sensation on his eyes.

Jaejoong march towards Yunho “do you want me to always watching you on the sideways whenever you are flirting with those flings you have and expect me to always be there to help you getting rid of your girls whenever you decided you’ve enough of them?” Jaejoong asked, clearly irritated. He try his hard to hold his tears despite his obvious glassy eyes. Yunho however, showing no sign of regret as he only watch Jaejoong whine and hit his chest several times. He was having an inner battle on his mind, contemplating of what he should do. It was now or never...

“I.. want to be happy too...” Jaejoong whisper softly.

They are staring to each other eyes in silet for a long minutes, like only each of them matters to the others. Not even the curious glance from passerbys thrown at them bothers.

“Yah! Why don’t You ans...!”  Jaejoong was cut off short by a cold lips... on his.

The kiss was an innocent one. It was merely a lips on top of another lips. No, tongue, to teeth and no touching involve, even though Yunho badly wants to probe further, but he can’t. He don’t want to ruin their frienship only for his greed and impatience. He know Jaejoong like he know the back of his hand. And if he do more than what he’s doing right now. Jaejoong would probably run out of fear. When Yunho finally can feel Jaejoong calmed down, he decided to let go.

Yunho pull out, putting some distance between their face. He strares at Jaejoong flustered face intently, both of his palm still safely cupping Jaejoong warm one. Seeing Jaejoong unable to say anything, Yunho decide He should take another step as He engulfed the smaller frame once again and whispers lowly in to his ear. “Then i will be the one who make you happy...” Yunho pulls out once again. Yunho softly Jaejoong long fringes, gently tucked it on the blonde ears. smiling proudly he could clearly see the pale cheeks completely turned crimson by his action. “how about it?”

“it... tessshh like o-o-orangee juusshh” Jaejoong stuttered heavily. By now his face has gone completely red till the ear. And Yunho couldn’t held a loud snickers.

“Y-Yah! why are you laughing?” Jaejoong said, he hit Yunho back once again. He’s not just playing around again right?

“Yah pabo! I mean the thing about going out with me, not the kiss!” Yunho said between his laughter. He laugh loudly once again seeing how of a mess Jaejoong had become.

Soon their bickering voice could be heard rang through the cold winter road.

That day, they learn how to be honest to their own feelings...

-end of flashback-

It was their first kiss

Probably not the best one, but surely was one of the most memorable...

“Wait a minute hyung-deul, im going to buy some flowers for him...” Changmin said as he parked the car in front of a small florist and undo his seatbelt.

“I think i’ll buy one too” I said as i was getting out of my seat following Changmin. Jaejoong is following closely behind me. The clerk welcome us as soon as the glass door was slided opened.

Jaejoong looks around in excitement. Amazed at how many and colorful the flowers that the shop has. After all, flowers had been one of the things he love the most.

Changmin is asking the clerk of her opinion of what kind of flowers he should buy when he was visiting a friend, whilst i just go straight to Cala lillies, the white one. I pick some and show it to the frail figure that was following me around. His doe eyes took a glance of whats on my hand and he nodded enthusiastically. After all, Cala lillies is still his favourite... Yunho smiled back reminiscing.

It was the same flowers i gave him that day...

-flashback-

Yunho nervously tapping his foot on the carpeted floor. Once in a while the look over to the entrance of the restaurant, obviously, he was waiting for someone. He takes a glance on his watch.

7.05 pm It’s time for their dinner date. Jaejoong should be arriving anytime soon.

Yunho put the bouquet of white Cala Lillies that he had just purchased on the way here on the chair beside him. He lowly chanting the things he had been memorizing all day long. Hoping he won’t make any mistake this time.

Please God! Just tonight! Don’t let me looks stupid just for this one night! Yunho had thought about this for awhile, he had been preparing this night for at least a month, the restaurant reservation, the wine, the menu, what kind of suit he should be wearing to how he should style his hair. He had been arranging this little research of his own, consist of slepless night surfing through numerous of blogs, and bothering numerous friend of his for recomendation so he could make sure that everything he prepared tonight is nothing but the best of the best. And right now, the only thing left he needs was luck. A big kind of luck. Yunho close his eyes, decide to give one more prayer.

“Yunnie?”

“OH MY GOD! YOU SURPRISED ME” Yunho jolted out of his seat. He almost got a heart attack.

Jaejoong softly chuckled. “whats wrong with you? I’ve been watching you for awhile, sitting here and whispering something like a mantra with this dark aura surrounding you...” Seeing his lover of two years was in no position for pulling the chair for him, Jaejoong decide to just take the vacant seat in front of Yunho. “what are you doing anyway? Trying to put a curse on someone?” Jaejoong put a hand on his mouth, trying to supress a laugh.

“Aaah... uhhhh, no. I was just... remembering something... from work!” Yunho blurted out without even thingking.

Jaejoong smirk “So, its still all about works even in the midlle of a date, Officer Jung?” despite the protest, Jaejoong still smiled so sweetly as he was resting his chin on both of his palm.

“Aaah... uhhh...” Yunho mumbled incoherently. what was he was suppose to do again? He tried hard to rack his brain. Oh yeah! The thing he had been memorizing all day long.Yunho tried to calm himself by inhaling a good amount of air oh! i smell new perfume. Oh wow, Jaejoongie looks so beatiful tonight... He looks really great with this white sweater, well, my Joongie always looks good on anything... and did he put makeup on? He looks undeniably stunning tonight and not to mention his... ! GET AHOLD OF YOURSELF JUNG YUNHO! DONT GET YOURSELF DISTRACTED! Yunho start panicking. Sweat began forming on his forehead.

“And what is it all about? Aren’t these a little bit too much? Who is gonna finish all this meal?” Jaejoong mention about the numerous food placed on their table. By the looks, He calculates that it should have been enough to feed 5 Changmin. And that means a lot. “Oh and why this ice cream here? Aren’t it too early for dessert?” Jaejoong ask as the ice cream was placed right in front of him.

Oh yeah! The ice cream! Yunho finally remembers something. “You should try it Jae, i order it for you... They said that they have the best vanilla ice cream in town...” Yunho said with a stiff smile that made it looks like a grimace instead. “But Yunho, this is dessert” Jaejoong try to reasoned out. Yunho face drops. Oh... He didn’t think of that... “Ah.. ummm.... i order it first cause im afraid they would be run out of stock if i ordered a little later...” Yunho tried to give the most reasonable reason his dysfunctional brain could think of... or more like excuse.

Jaejoong furrowed his eyebrow he looks around the restaurant. Out of stock? Who would order them? This restaurant was practically... empty. Its only the two of them occupying this seat.

Jaejoong shift his stare from Yunho to the ice cream in front of him and back to Yunho. He scoop one spoonful of the soft dessert. “You didn’t put anything funny in this, did you?”

“NO!” Yunho said. A little too eager and immediately. Startling Jaejoong.

Scrunching his face, Jaejoong sensing something was definitely off. But, he decided to shrug it off and bring the the spoonful of ice cream into his mouth anyway. The heavenly taste that melting in his tongue made him smile unconsciously and scooping another scope, and another one after that.

Yunho watch intently on his lover eating every scoop of the vanilla ice cream. Each scope Jaejoong take made his heartbeat went one notch faster. Seriously, watching someone eating had never been this nerve-wrecking for Yunho before.

“Hm?” Jaejoong could feel something strange in his mouth. Oh! Yunho face lighted up.

Jaejoong hit his chest several time as he was lightly coughing before he reach for a glass of water in front of him.

What? No!! Yunho shout on his mind as he quickly grab the glass before Jaejoong could reach it.

“What... cough... what are you doing Yunho? Give me that water! There is something stuck in front of my throat... cough cough” Jaejoong tried to reach for the glass in Yunho hand only to find Yunho to raise his hand and make it harder to reach.

“Yunho! Cough cough! Dont joke around! Give me that water!” Jaejoong said, he was almost choking. What the hell is going on in his lover stupid head?

“No! You dont need this Jae! You only need to get that thing out of your mouth! Here, let me help you!” Yunho raise from his seat and fly to Jaejoong side.

“WHAT?” Jaejoong shout, shocked by Yunho level of stupidity. “YAH! THAT’S HURT! COUGH” Before he could do anything Yunho was already pushing his back and giving it a hard blow several times.

“C’mon Jae! PUSH! PUSH IT HARDER!” (a/n: uups *blushed) Yunho cheer as he was giving Jaejoong back several more hard blows.

“Yah!! Cough cough WHAT ARE YOU DOING??!! Cough cough COUGH” The impact of Yunho blow only made Jaejoong cough harder. Finally something was thrown out from Jaejoong mouth and Yunho quickly grabbed it, taking the Cala Lillies he put on the chair earlier and dashing back towards Jaejoong was still trying to breath heavily.

Before Jaejoong recovering from the stupid incident and understanding about what was actually going on, he found Yunho already kneeling on one knees. One of his hand was reached out while the other was holding a bouquet of Cala Lillies tightly. Jaejoong tried to focus his sight on Yunho reached out hand and tried to figure out of what Yunho was holding out to him. It took several second before his brain finally back functioning again and he could finally register the thing Yunho is holding on.... a ring. A silver wedding band with his and Yunho initial carved inside it. And Jaejoong finally get caught on what all this commotion were about.

“Please marry me, Jae.” Yunho finally said. Screw the 4-stanza-long poetry and sweet nothings he had been writing and chanting all day long. Everything was already ruined anyway. He gulped heavily with sweat trickling down all over his forehead. He can even feel his hand tremor while he waiting for Jaejoong answer.

“Seriously?” Jaejoong finally speak up. “If you were going to give it to me anyway, why bothered putting it on my meals? Seriously Yunho, You almost killed me!” Jaejoong scold his stupid lover. “Now sit back on your chair!” Jaejoong said with a slight irritated tone.

Yunho was taken aback. Di.. did he just get rejected? Yunho heavily stand up. He hung his head low, dejectedly walk back to his seat. Of course... who would accept that kind of failed proposal... Yunho dissapoinment was clearly reflected on his face. How could he ruin something so important as a proposal... He was such a failure... This is the first time Yunho felt so ashame of himself. Why can’t he get things right when it comes to Jaejoong. Seriously, he was the best on his field of work. He always got praised for each of his perfectly done work. So why did he always end up acting stupid in front of his lover. The regret was so overwhelming that Yunho feels like he was about to cry. He silently sit down on his seat, still bowing his head down. Afraid that Jaejoong might notice his glassy eyes that would only make him looks more stupid.

“...and of course its a yes”

Yunho rise his head automatically. Did he just hear right? “wh.. what?” Yunho ask bewildered.

Jaejoong smiled widely. “Yes Yunho, I’ll marry yo...” Jaejoong words was cut off as Yunho was already charging towards him and carry him with both of his arms in one swoop.

Jaejoong flustered. His hand quickly encircling around Yunho neck as he was afraid to fall off despite Yunho tight grip around his waist and knees. “Y... yahh... put me do...” And Yunho surprised him again with a kiss. Just like when he was confessing to him 2 years ago. Jaejoong begin to wonder if it was becoming Yunho habit to surprised him with a kiss.

“Thank you Jaejoong-ah. I’ll promise i’ll make you happy” it was the brightest smile Jaejoong ever see. And the most influencing one, as Jaejoong couldn’t help his lips also curving. You always make me happy Yunho-yah...

That night, they promised to always be there for each other, together, forever...

-end of flashback-

Yunho close his eyes memorizing one of the best feeling he ever felt.

If he have the power to, he will do anything so he could relive that moment and stop the time. So he could live that moment forever.

“We have arrived, Hyung” Junsu timidly remind him. He nudge Yunho softly.

Yunho finally open his eyes. He slowly turns his head sideways, looking for the figure of his wife that just until a minutes ago still sitting beside him. Only to find no one there. The seat was empty, the one sitting beside him was Junsu, and his face turn back gloomy once again. Just like how it always been these past one year.

Junsu threw a worried look to Yoochun and Changmin that sit on the front seat.

Yunho once again closed his eyes and taking a deep breath, willing himself to get ready for what was waiting for him. It was already one year, yet Yunho was never been ready everytime he have to visit this place.

Couldn’t bear the pitiful stares he got from his dongsaengs anymore, He finally get out of the car.

Ah... i was in an open cemetery

Yunho let his emotionless eyes roaming across the vast cemetery before he forced his heavy step towards his destination. With his dongsaengs silently follows behind him. The cold winter that blowing hard that day didn’t even bother him for a bit.

It took several minutes before they finally arrive on their destination.

The place that always appeared in every nightmare he has since that day, this very date, one year ago.

He crouched down beside one of the grave, gently put a bouquet of Cala Lillies he had bought earlier. His heart feels numb seeing numerous of withered flowers laying on top of the ground. The ground which keep his wife locked on a place called afterlife. He stares on the beautiful portrait embedded on the stone. That was how he used to smile everytime i give this flowers to him. He can feel his eyes stings as he gently carress the name written on the thombstone.

JUNG JAEJOONG, a faithful wife, and a loyal friend.

(26th January 1986- 20th January 2016)

They said, everything good will always come to an end.

But Yunho never expected that their ‘ends’ would come this soon.

A tear escaping his eyes as a flash of that dreadful night comes to his mind.

In case anyone is still wondering, Yes, Jaejoong that appeared on the beginning of this chapter is a kind of visualization of Yunho's wishful imagination :(

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