3 years, it’s short, it’s long. Memories are still like coming from yesterday, yet it has become the past, like a wind puffing in the air around without anyone’s notice.

It was the start of autumn, the weather began chill, ice cream was not the trainees’ first choice of snack when they got a break from practicing, clothing they wore to Pledis Entertainment changed from simple T-shirts to hoodies. Yebin remembered details of that time, that day, and so did Minkyung.

“H-Hi, my name is Kim Minkyung, I’m 17.”

She introduced herself to the director and some other staffs. “Thank you for giving me this chance.”

“We’re glad to have you too. Here.” The director handed her some paper. “Read these before I show you around. Keep in mind that from now on, you are part of our agency. Life as a trainee is completely different from a high school student, there’s a lot you’ll have to adapt and to give up. You have to make sure you’re ready for it.”

Am I ready?

Becoming a singer was sure her dream, but getting into a new place and new life, meeting more people but probably could not be friends with all of them, being judged every week by so many pairs of eyes, things she used to enjoy might gone forever……That couldn’t be easy.

“I…think so?”

The director nodded, no specific expression could be seen on his face. “I hope to hear you say yes in a week.”

About an hour later, Minkyung stood in front of a wooden door, fingers fidgeting out of anxiousness. This is it, she thought. This is the place where I will spend the most of my life after today.

“Have I told you how funny you look when you fell out of the practice room with Eunwoo?”

“Jesus Christ.” Yebin ruffled her hair and Minkyung just giggled. “Don’t remind me that.”

“But I want to! It was the funniest thing happened in my life back then.” Minkyung smiled to her. “I was nervous like hell and you popped out from nowhere…That kind of made my day, you know that?”

“Did it?” Yebin blushed slightly, Minkyung’s features under the orange sunset was breathtaking. “I don’t care if it’s childish, s-she started it! I think she was making fun of my height again so I chased after her, but somehow we stumbled together and…you know what happened next.”

“There comes our first meet.”

Minkyung reached to her hand and held it tight. “Everything happens for a reason, right? If that didn’t happen, how could we become best friends since then?”

“Yeah…”

Best friend.

“Can I call it a destiny?” Yebin teased, half-jokingly, didn’t expect Minkyung’s cheeks to turn red right after.

“…Silly.” She threw her arm around her neck and squeezed, Yebin pretended to be suffocated as she was completely under her control because of the height difference. “Hey you violent woman, I’m still young and I got things left undo ok? Don’t kill me.”

“What things left undo?” Minkyung asked, loosened the strength a bit.

“Well,” Yebin shrugged. “Finish the life as a trannie, debut, promote, win the first place…”

Finish the life as a trannie with you, debut with you, promote with you and win the first place with you…

“Yo, you two.” They heard Eunwoo shouting down the stairs. “Stop flirting, the teacher’s here!”

I swear I’m gonna make her fall out of the practice room again.

“C’mon.” Minkyung smiled, didn’t seem to mind her words at all. “Let’s go back.”

Their palms touched, their fingers intertwined, their scent right next to each other. If they could stay like this for a long while, it was already enough for Yebin. She didn’t mind her deepest feeling had to be concealed forever, as long as Minkyung was there by her side, which was all she wished.

**********

Day 1 on Produce 101

“I never knew a survival show is stressful like this…”

“I think I’m gonna puke.”

“Do I have to braid my hair?”

“Where’s the bathroom…”

“Geez guys don’t be chickens!!” Yebin exclaimed. “Didn’t we do well last night when practicing? We’ll all be fine, be confident, please?”

Once finished, she clung onto Minkyung and hugged her from her side. The scent on her made her disordered heartbeat slow down a little.

“How can you be so calm?” Minkyung mumbled to the younger, face full of worries.

Yebin shrugged. “Because…There’s no use to be nervous.” Noticing the older was really anxious, she gave her an assuring smile. “Relax, and enjoy the stage, ok?”

Yebin’s eyes were glowing with excitement, like a little girl who’s about to start her trip of finding neverland. Minkyung felt herself was the exact opposite. The world outside always made her flinch, she had to do both physically and mentally prepare to face every challenge.

Sometimes I really admire your courage, because god knows how I wish I had more.

Day 16 on Produce 101

“Yebin-ah, you know I’m very, very happy and grateful to be your first choice, there’s nothing better than grouping with you but…You really should’ve picked somebody else.”

Yebin put down her phone and looked at her in disbelief. “Are you serious? Do you know what you’re saying right now? You think I was wrong to choose you?”

Minkyung sighed. “Yes, yes, and yes.”

“Mind explaining?”

“You have been in level A since the show started, but I am F and…”

“You WERE in F. You already got into B last week, remember?”

“Y-Yeah, but…” Minkyung bit her lower lip, Yebin just waited patiently for her to continue. “You do know I haven’t gotten much v-votes, don’t you? I’m not the type that people like a lot, at least not in here…And we all know what’s the most important in survival show, not talent, not appearance, it’s popularity…”

“Yeah, you’re right.” Yebin stood up from the floor. “So we’d better start practicing now. Make people vote for us.”

Minkyung watched the girl plugged her phone into the stereo and walked back to pull her up. “Let’s move, center.”

“You’re not listening, Yebin, I…”

“I will always choose you.” Yebin was facing the other direction but her voice was clear in the empty room. Minkyung stared at her back with consternation.

“Always.”

So she did not hear it wrong.

Keeping her head low, Yebin prayed mentally that she didn’t see her pink cheeks. The music was playing from scratch, they hesitated for few seconds before moving to their position. None of them carried on the topic they were talking after that day, both kept the complex doubts to themselves since letting them out would not be a good idea when underwent survival show.

People always say that truth cannot be hidden forever, that was not right at all. Once missed the chance, some words would never be spoken.

Day 31, after Produce 101

“So…this is the end.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

They were lying on a turf from their company's nearest park, both looking at the night sky above them. There were barely stars, the new moon was hanging behind gray clouds, hazy moonlight was beautiful and peaceful compared with the car horns on the street outside.

“We’re back to be trainees again.”

“Well…I already survived longer than I expected.” Yebin chuckled. “Actually I’m not that disappointed as I thought.”

“Then how are you feeling?”

“I think…I just knowingly face it. If this is not the chance for me, let it go. Refuse the reality or cry or curse life’s not fair won’t do.”

She turned to her left. “How about you?”

“Me?” Minkyung sneered: “I was eliminated a week before you, remember? I learned to face it long ago.”

“So you’re ok?”

“I am, I have to. We’ve got a long way ahead us to go.”

Yebin turned back to look at the sky. She thought for a couple seconds before softly asked: “Have you ever had any idea of…Say, giving up?”

“Wow, I’m quite surprised it’s you who asks me this question, who are you? What did you do to the always positive, energetic, clamorous Kang Yebin?”

“Very funny. Unnie, I’m serious.”

Minkyung let out her silver laughter. “Of course I have. More than once.”

“And why you decided to keep going?”

“To