Hello once again. So here is another fanfiction which is mpreg so if you don't like that then I have given you a fair warning. This will be slow to update. However, please enjoy the first chapter. Comments and upvotes are appreciated and see you in the next chapter.

“Shima!” Togawa shouted, his worry overshadowed by his pseudo anger. “Shima, what are you doing?!”

The man in question stood a few meters away from Togawa looking at the glistening river down below. It seemed Shima had only just now heard the man’s shouting and even then, he barely moved his head in the direction of his lover. It looked like a twitch if you asked Togawa. When their eyes met, he could tell something was wrong. Shima’s eyes which were usually bright were dark and soulless. Why Shima’s eyes were like that, he had no idea, but from the way the smaller man looked, he could tell something was about to go down.

It felt like rocks settled in the pit of his stomach, and in his distaste for the new found feeling, Togawa began to run.

“Shima! Shima, what are you doing?!”

There was no answer, and the closer he got, the more dangerously close to the edge Shima became.

Finally, he was face to face with the man he loved, yet he failed to realize that his next steps would dictate Shima’s last. The shorter male fell back capturing Togawa’s eyes with his own dead ones for the last time.  Togawa rushed forward snapping his arms out to grab the man but it was all in vain as Shima disappeared from sight into the inky water. It was at that moment Togawa felt like his heart was being ripped from his chest, and he let out an ungodly scream.

Salty tears streamed down his face while he gasped. His lungs were useless as they refused to take in oxygen while his mind refused to acknowledge any of what happened. He fell to his knees, the darkness encroaching upon him. How was he supposed to go on now?  Togawa dragged himself to his feet and stumbled to the stone railing. He didn’t know what he hoped to find; as far as he knew, Shima had already been carried off by the current. He was a little boy all over again. He hadn’t been able to save his brother, his father, or his mother and as he slid down the stone rail, his tears falling freely, he realized he had not been able to save the single most important person in his life.

He brought his head in his hands and whispered.

“Shima.”

Togawa’s eyes snapped open as his body rushed forward. The first thing he did was look for the small, warm body next to him but when he didn't find him, his heart was in his throat. The spot beside him was cold like it had been vacated for hours.

His mind rushed to the nightmare that jolted him awake. It was not the first time he had been plagued by such nightmares; however, it was the first time his nightmares had gone as far as Shima dying. That never happened. His forehead was slick with sweat and he wiped at it with his forearm.

He had been the one to cause Shima’s demise, if he was the reason the man left or even died, he wouldn’t be able to live with himself. Togawa stepped onto the cool floor ignoring how the cold air hit his exposed body.

   “Shima?” He called, yet there was no answer. He called once again to his lover in the dark and quiet apartment. He could feel his heart rate increasing but he reminded himself that what transpired earlier was only in his mind. It had not actually occurred.

   “Shima!” He called again.

   Each time he received no answer, he became more desperate to find the quiet man. He raced to the front door but found that the younger man’s shoes were still in place. That had to mean that Shima was still in the house, but it didn’t explain why he wasn’t answering. Suddenly, the bathroom door creaked open exposing a wet Shima covered in a towel. Togawa’s eye twitched at the sight of his lover. He crossed the expanse of his apartment, grabbing Shima roughly by his upper arms.

   Shima looked up with wide eyes completely startled by the taller man. Normally, he would berate Togawa for  surprsing him but the clear worry set in his brows was enough to stop the tongue lashing.

   “T-Togawa-san, what’s wrong?”

   Togawa’s grip tightened around Shima’s upper arms.

   “Why didn’t you answer me when I called you?” He ground out trying to keep his teeth from chattering with the fear he felt from his nightmare and not knowing where Shima was. In all honesty, he felt pretty stupid for not checking the one other place that he and Shima shared in his small one room, one bathroom apartment.

   Shima looked about worriedly, his eye roaming the startled features of his lover.

   “I was in the shower. I didn’t hear you calling me.”

   The pair locked eyes for a few moments before Togawa released him. Togawa flung himself onto the lumpy couch covering his eyes with his forearm.

   Shima quickly replaced his towel with an oversized shirt and sweatpants and joined his lover on the couch. He rubbed his forehead against the disoriented man’s shoulder trying his best to comfort him but he couldn’t do that effectively if he didn’t know why the man he cared for and loved was so rattled.

   “Togawa-san this has happened more than once. Why won’t you tell me what's going on?”

   Togawa let out a sigh. The nightmares started before he met Shima, but they stopped when they started dating. He didn’t know why his nightmares decided to return, nor the reason why Shima had become the new target of his demented dreams. For the longest, Togawa tried keeping his troubled sleeping to himself but it was obvious that the dark side of his life he had tried to keep hidden was already out.

   A small smile escaped his lips but he shook his head.

   “Let’s not talk about this tonight?” He muttered while taking Shima’s hand into his and kissing the knuckles.

Shima kept quiet while he watched Togawa slip back under the covers. He observed the man whose breathing had slowed. He loved that man more than life itself and he would do anything to protect him. If anything had stuck with Shima, it was the fact that Togawa watched his family die one by one. The issue of him not being able to provide a family for Togawa had been solved but the thought still bothered him like a dull ache of a missing limb. He grabbed at the cloth above his chest and closed his eyes. He wanted so desperately to provide Togawa with the family he had been deprived of but that would never happen.

Shima shook his head sweeping his unpleasant thoughts underneath a mental rug. In the end, he joined Togawa on the bed. Placing his head in the crik of Togawa’s neck, he slipped into a deep sleep.