Jongdae’s POV.

 

I was with Baekhyun and Sehun in a coffee shop, discussing about our upcoming project while getting some fresh air to brainstorm for an aesthetic features designing the building that our client desired. Me and Baekhyun had our own Architectural firm and Sehun was our associated Engineer’s as well as an old friend along with Baekhyun. It was nice actually to sit here freely while doing some catching up and chatting, just like the old times. I wished that Kyungsoo was here too. We missed him big times. He is currently in Japan after the company he worked for get him promoted and flew him away to Japan for a good two years but nah, two years almost over and we are counting the days to finally reunite with him again.

We were talking and laughing over the facts that Sehun’s got rejected by his crush for 5 years in public when we were senior during high school. It was a hot issue spread across the entire school for a ing 3 months like a hot cheesy potato. He just got a ball to confess after a long 5 years crushing at her but that poor boy was rejected in the face by Jung Dahae, our school’s beauty because she said Sehun was an and playboy who just trying to play with her heart and then she left, leaving the frozen ball stood still in his spot with an expression that no one can digest. He doesn’t move until Kyungsoo finally dragged him out of the scene to get him recovered. He was sure facing his greatest shocked in life.

I am still laughing my off at the pouting Sehun before I noticed that Baek had gone mute while his gazed is fixed at something or rather someone among the lively teenagers who just entered the shop. I followed where his eye is boring at and me too fell in utterly silent that I can’t described. Sehun also turning his head at the subject of our eyes and he definitely wore the same expression as we were earlier, shocked. We saw my half-sister, Kim Yeonhee, with a group of her friends at the counter smiling and grinning so vividly without aware about the fact that we are watching her. I never saw her smiled like that for a long time that I couldn’t remember. Her genuine smile picturing that she was really happy and had no worries in her life. It was beautifully mesmerizing and for the first time I am proud to be called as her older brother. I never came to a realization that my sister was beautiful like a goddess. Maybe because I was too occupied with my hatred toward her despite knowing that she had done nothing wrong all this times.

She barely passed 20 last week and coincidentally that date was also Sehun’s birth date, 12 of April. While she was enjoying the perks of finally becoming 20, Sehun in the other hands grieving over the reality that he’s already 27 and getting older with no girlfriend by his side. He said that he was going to get married with his paperwork and he’s willing to drag us along. Well, pardon our busy life that we got no time finding a girlfriend for ourselves. Sehun cleared his throat and bring me back to reality with his question whether we want to leave this place or not because I’m sure that he’s feeling the tension bottled up in my chest but I said it was okay and urged him to just continue where we were left before.

“Have she always being this beautiful?”

I turned my head toward Baekhyun who’s still eyeing the said girl who was now alone at the counter after her friends left to search for a table which was only a few tables from us.

“Pardon me Baek? What did you said just now?” I looked at him with questioning look and his face deadpanned with a look that “did I just said that out loud?”

“Uh-uh nothing dude, nothing. Let’s get things continue” he shrugged us off with his infamous poker face but what makes me want to roll on the floor was Sehun killed his vibe with “We heard you, hyung. Are you shamelessly trying to flirt with Jongdae’s sister in front of him? Come on man, we both know that she doesn’t even know our names aside from our existence.”

Baekhyun start to pout at Sehun’s words, mumbling some coherent words or more like cursing toward Sehun. I remember at that time, I was 7 when my father got married with my current stepmother (Yeonhee’s mom) and a year later Yeonhee was born. The different in our was quite big that’s why I didn’t fond with the idea having siblings. When she was little, around 7 or 8 years old, she always came to me doing some cute faces and begging my middle school self to play with her because our parents seldom home due to the demanding time in Hospital they worked for and she would often be left by our maid at home. She’s craving for attention from her own family but me that time, blinded with hatred, pushed away this brat that I found so awfully annoying aside.

I accidentally held my head high toward the counter direction and I swear it was a bad decision because I saw her face turned evergreen as she locked her gaze with mine. After a few moments, she finally became the first one to break the staring contest between us at the same time ease some thick tension lingered in the air. Baekhyun and Sehun just sat there quietly, watching what will likely to happen between us. I let out a big sigh upon seeing she finally settled down at her friend’s table with her back facing us.

Getting our grip back, we proceed to the discussion that halted for a while just before I heard that girl’s table talking about something that I can’t stop my ears from eavesdropping.

“Yeonhee-ah, I noticed that a man with brown locks kept stealing glances at you. Do you perhaps know them?” did she just refer to Baekhyun? Aish Baek, what are you doing right now?

Then, Yeonhee replied dryly “No. maybe they just checking on you. They were too old to my likings. Besides, I don’t associate with people like that. It !” at that time I realized something, maybe she never told her friends that she had an older brother. A sudden pang in my chest caused my heart to clench in pain. Why must I felt sad and dejected over that thing? After all, it was my fault to begin with. Sehun mouthed me “Are you okay hyung?” and I just flashed him a smile to assure him nothing wrong. 30 minutes later, I can only watched her retreating figure while bidding goodbye to her friends disappeared in the sea of crowd out of the coffee shop.

 

POV ENDED

 

---

 

After bidding them goodbye, I rushed to the bus stop and sat there while waiting for the one that heading toward my house. Plugging the earphones, I started scrolling ups and downs in my playlist searching for my favorite song, EXO Heaven.

 

Hello angel, you’re like a painting

You’re all I see when I look to the skies

City street lights, even if the lights go out

And the moon disappears, it’s bright because

I have a star that fell from the skies

And it’s you

 

Ting! Ting! Ting!

I tap the icon for message on my phone and my mother’s text pop-up,

Sweetheart,

We’re not going home for dinner tonight. Go for eat out or asked Mrs. Go to cook for you okay. Your father and I had an emergency patient right now. Stay at home with Jongdae okay. Don’t come home too late. Love you.

 

Again, I was left alone at home. I let out a frustrated sighs and my mood suddenly goes down. It will cost a fortune for Jongdae to actually be in the same place with me. He doesn’t like me okay! It didn’t take a Sherlock to know that but my parents said that he just too stressed with life and asked me not to bother him so much. Pssst. They even want me to go for a holiday with him alone after my high school graduation, suggesting that we should spend more time often but of course it will never happen. I rather got some detention from school than going there with him even though I’m dying inside.

When I saw him in that coffee shop earlier with his two friends, Baek Ah, Shixun or whatever their name were, my mood instantly dropped and my face grew darker. I didn’t expect to see him there. I wasn’t comfortable the whole time we were there and that’s why I excused myself earlier. My mind wandered to this certain memory that I can’t erase that turns me 360⁰ to change.

 

4 years ago

I opened the door after the third sound of bell echoing in the house only to be greeted with a face of tired Jongdae oppa. He must having hard times in college I guess but I am too ecstatic to see him home since it was few months ago I last saw him that was during his birthday. I want to share with him my very first experienced entering high school life, about new friends, new environment and at the same time I want to know about his life more. I want to get closer to him since he was my one and only sibling in this world. I flopped myself beside him on the couch in the living room with huge grinned pestering on my face. He looked at me with eyes half lid opened and intimidating face.

“Oppa” I called him out but he’s not responding. Then, I shake him shoulder a little while whining at him to hear me out. I really need someone to talk to and that was why I felt like in cloud 9 seeing his figure was actually home.

“Oppa….Oppa….Jongdae Oppa. Are you listening?” still vigorously shaking his arms while demanding him to actually paid attention to me but I was startled when he jerked my hands off his shoulder.

“Shut up! Don’t you know that you are annoying like hell? I came home because I need a break from studying not to hear you whining!” his sounds like he’s restraining himself from yelling. I can only fidgeting in my seat and start to bring my head down. Tears start to brim at the corners of my eyes. My pathetic teenager’s self just want to spend time with him.

“I..I..I just want to talk to you. I have no one to talk to in this house. Mom’s and dad are busy with worked.” I don’t know that he really really hate me. No, it should be detested of me.

“Then why did they have you in the first place if they knew that they wouldn’t have time to be with you. Stop bothering me! You’re just a troublemaker. I never said that you are my sister. So stop acted like one. It’s really annoying, ughhh.”

It was disheartening for me to hear such words coming out from someone that I thought I could rely on, someone that will treat me right and someone that will actually LOVE me. He must be really mad at me for bothering him while he’s resting but no need for him to despise me with hurtful comments that not only broke my heart, but he actually killed them along with his bashful remarks. That time I realized that no matter how many time I’m ing trying to make our relationship turns better, it will never work.

“I..I don’t know that you detested me that much oppa. I’m sorry for being annoying with you. I’m sorry for disturbing you today. Don’t worry oppa or…. should I call you Jongdae-ssi, I’ll never bother you anymore. I’ll take my leave right now.” With that, I ran toward my bedroom and cried silently. I think, that was the last time I’m shedding my tears before I’m starting to put on my façade in front of my family and anyone else.

The wall we built inside our heart not only to keep out the sorrow but also to keep out the joy we had from getting attached.

 

End of flashback

 

I was brought to reality when the bus that was scheduled to route in my housing area stopped in front of me. After shoving my transport card at the scanner, I made my way toward one of the vacant chairs at the back of the bus. I sat there quietly while my minds started to process that today was Friday and Mrs. Go will finished her shift at 3 pm because she wants to visit her son’s in Busan. It’s already 4 in the evening and I just can let out a groaned upon the idea of starving tonight. I’m sure that nobody will be home tonight, so I will just cooked for myself since it will be a wasted if I ordered take out. Hopped out from the bus 20 minutes later, I started walking to the nearest supermarket to buy the ingredients to make Seafood Pasta.

After done doing some shopping on goods and shoved it all in the fridge, I climbing up the stairs and heading toward my room to have some rest. The house was quiet. Damn quiet right now because the maids all got their works off for two days until Sunday. As soon as my head touch my fluffy pillow, I instantly drove off and only to be awaked by the sounds of rustling downstairs. My eyes already wide awake and I grabbed the baseball bat in the corner of my room and prayed that it wasn’t thief broke into our house. Sweat running down my temple like a rain and it was really creepy there. I slowly walked to the kitchen where I am positive that the rustled came from there.

When I reached at the kitchen island, I was shocked and utterly muted to see this figure is messing with my mother’s kitchen and he’s actually cooking!

And then he turns his back at my directions and finally noticed me there, stood with an emotion that he can’t figure out and engaging his gaze with mine.

It was the man that I really never expected to be there.

Man with soft brown locks.