It's been seven years. Seven years since I first saw you.
It's been over two million days since the first time I lay my eyes on you.
Uncountable minutes since I saw you leaning against the hard material of the shopping mall wall, eagerly texting with the hard buttons on your cellphone, which was without any apps or touchscreens at that time.

You looked slightly angry with the way you pushed every button so painfully hard, I could almost make out the sound of your fingers against the plastic.

You clearly caught my attention as I was only walking past the mall that day.

I remember the day clearly, it was sunny but not too bright and the temperature was comfortable enough for me to wear thin pants and a V-neck shirt. You also wore light clothing as well, garments that made you stand out a little, but not too much.

But I could tell that you were anything but subtle, that I had to learn the hard way later in life.
 
It never fails to make me smile whenever I think about you the day we met. How we once were complete strangers. How our eyes met in a split second as I was eyeing you from the middle of the sidewalk.

In that fragment of time we had contact I could already tell you were special.

You weren't like the people crowding the streets, like those nameless faces running around like ants, not at all. You were something, and couldn't quite put my finger on it.

You were in my head the whole day afterwards. When I worked the extra shift in the grocery store counting fruits, your face was with me. When I walked home through the park after my shift was done that night, all I could think about were your bright yellow colored tank top ( which was two number too big on you, making it hang around your shoulders casually ) tossed over some really tight ripped skinnies, that I assumed you had cut off above your knees yourself.

You were resting your well used sunglasses on top of your styled chestnut colored strands. You cared about your looks, I could tell, but you were no means self-centered you just found it satisfactionary to look good.

It made me a little crazy to be honest, having to think about you all the time.
This was weird, even for me.
It was new and exciting.

My life had to carry on eventually,
but I never missed walking past the mall on my way to work, I made it a daily routine.
In hope of catching a tiny glimpse of you again.

It didn't take longer than a week after the first time I saw you, that I spotted you again.
You were leaning against the same wall as earlier, angrily pushing the buttons of your phone.

It was rather chilly this day so you wore a jacket. It was amazing how you made everything you wore look so effortlessly put together.

Our eyes met for a couple of seconds again this day.
And I froze. Standing in the middle of the sea of people trying to push past me, someone actually bumped into me and casually walked by without saying sorry.

But common courtesy was really not top priority in my mind at that moment.
You were so beautiful. Breathtaking.

All I could do was simply stare at you for as long as I possibly could.
And you returned my eyes, looking barely up from the display of your phone with slight confusion written over your features.

Then you cracked a smile. Small and uncertain, but it was still a smile.
And I swear to god my time on this earth was coming to an end at this moment, so I ran, ran away from your bright and confused face.

I ran away thinking you never really saw me. I ran in hope that the running would cover most of the blush that had burned into my skin.
I ran while you quirked your eyebrows in confusion and proceeded to hit the plastic buttons of your portable device.

I can only laugh of myself for being so overly dramatic today.
But I remember how embarrassed and nervous I was the third time I saw you.

I continued to walk the daily route through the street where I first found you, this day was no exception.

You stood there, like usual, against the white painted brick wall of the overly large building.
But today you were without your phone.

You just stood there, palms in your pocket as your eyes scanned through the massive amount of people running through the entrance of the mall.

This time when our eyes met, my heart was beating slightly harder than usual.
My palms were warmer than normal, probably due to the boiling rush of blood heating my entire body.

We were closer today, and I felt it.

You were no longer a safe distance away from me; I couldn’t run in this position.

The rapid thumping against my chest never seemed to settle down; it was as if I could feel you coming closer. Little did I know at that moment, that you did.

You approached me, pried yourself off of the wall and walked carefully towards me with soft steps.

I never noticed you walking until you were standing next to me.
My body was heating in overdrive as I felt you beside me and I swore to god that I had the biggest blush covering not only my face, but my entire body.
 
“Hey, sorry for asking but can I borrow your phone for a moment ?”
Your voice was coarse but still so extremely comforting.
Almost like velvet whispers I could listen to for all my remaining time as a human.

I froze up in this moment and it took me a good couple of seconds to return sane again.

You probably remember that I wasn’t answering you at first, probably thinking that I ignored you, but by all means it was never meant like that.
I have never struggled with my words as much as I did in that moment you spoke to me.
And the never-ending battle of trying to pry my phone out of my pants was the one of the most nerve wracking experiences in my life. True story.

You managed to send that text you borrowed eventually and as you returned my phone you held out your hand for me to shake.

“Thank you so much, you want anything in return ?”
“It’s fine, nothing to worry about”
You gave me a heartwarming and sincere smile, and for the first time I saw your eyes up close, and you took my breath away yet again.

“I’m Kibum by the way, but they call me Key”
“Jonghyun, and people usually just call me by my name”
I remember you laughing at this, a small glittering chuckle that really wasn’t meant to be heard.

“I-I was just about to get some coffee, would you like to join ?”
I was stunned, and I couldn’t believe my own ears, I couldn’t comprehend the words coming out of your mouth. Your beautiful dusty pink mouth.
“S-sure”
I followed you into the busy coffee shop and carefully stood behind you in the line, admiring your features silently.
“What’d you like?”
“Pardon?”
“My treat, look at it as payment for the phone”
I stared at you in disbelief and you only chuckled softly in response. You ended up ordering for both of us in the end and handed me my iced coffee with a lot of fancy toppings in it. I was fine with regular coffee, but I was by no means complaining.

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I found myself smiling at the memory.
It’s like it only happened yesterday, time really flies.

The beeper of our microwave cut my stream of thoughts as it signalized my coffee being ready.
The porcelain cups almost being too warm for me to carry, but I managed.

I strolled carefully through our kitchen carefully as not to let a single drop leave our mugs. I found you in the living room, standing against our full-length window looking out into the dark city lights and skyscraper tops.
 
The small almost invisible lights threw fluorescent warmth across your beautiful features. I sat our cups down at the coffee table to cool down for a bit, and strolled over to where you were standing.
 
“They’ve really grown out lately”
“yeah”
“Does it hurt ?”
“A numb ache, I can feel them, but it’s nothing to worry about”

I my hands carefully over your feather clad back, massaging the joints of your feathered wings slowly trying to dull out the pain. I’ve always hated seeing you in pain.

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It’s been five years.
Five years since the first time you exposed your wings to me.
They were barely half the size they’ve become today, but they were big enough for people to notice.

I remember the day as if it was yesterday. We were in my old apartment, where we usually spent most of our days.

You had been acting weird the last couple of weeks, but I had decided not to bring it up unless you wanted to talk yourself.

 I found it weird that I had never been to your place, or meeting any of your friends, family or even relatives yet.
I found it weird that whenever I brought up the topic, you would always ignore it.
I found it weird that you always had to leave at night, never spending the night over.

For two years I found it weird, I just never brought it up. I knew that if there was something bothering you, you would come and talk to me. We talked about everything, so I saw no problem in sharing everything as well.

It was a normal day; both of us sprawled out in my couch, just doing nothing at all.
The television was a faint buzz in the background and neither of us was really paying any attention to it.

You were more fidgety as usual and kept rubbing and switching positions against the cushions.
“Itchy ?”
“yeah”

I sat up and proceeded to settle myself closer to you.
“Here, let me help you scratch your back”
I extended my hands towards you, thinking you’d lean in and except the offer.
“NO! I-I mean, I can do it myself”

I rose my eyebrows in question at you, which you responded with a frightened look towards me.
I simply withdrew my hands and sat dumbfounded back into the couch.

“I-uh, Jonghyun-”
I just raised my head towards you without saying anything, waiting for you to take your time and finish.
“I need to show you something.”

I just watched you, still without words, as you proceeded to sit with your back turned towards me.
Honestly, I was blushing slightly when you slowly guided your shirt to toss it over your head,
and you really don’t want to know what actually went through my mind in that moment.

You stopped mid-way and turned your head to look at me.
Your eyes were frightened and showed anxiousness. My throat became dry and made it hard for me to swallow the gulp of anxiousness that also came over me.

The air was suddenly thick around us both.
“Promise me Jonghyun”
“Promise you what ?”
“That you won’t leave me after this.”

I gave you a worried look and crawled moreover to your seat at the couch to grab a hold of your hand. I gave it a reassuring squeeze, no words were right for this situation but I knew you understood what I was trying to say. You always read me like an open book.

“I trust you, Jonghyun”
And then your shirt were gone.

As I studied your bony but still slightly muscular back, I noticed two lumps in behind your shoulder blades. They were red and irritated.

I moved over to carefully settle behind you, only to halt my movements when the bony lumps started to stir under your skin.
I was taken back and shocked when you first started to push out your feather clad wings out from your back. The silver tinted feathers shook mildly as they winged out from their confines.

Relief washed over your body as the wings were spread out and relaxed out into the air. The size of your wings was nothing compared to what they are today, but in that moment I saw them, they were huge.

But who can blame me, really. It’s not every day a pair of wings suddenly pops out of someone’s back.
 
You still sat with your back against me, head hung low, afraid for what I might say to you.
 I don’t blame you, I would be afraid myself.

But I never found you revolting, scary or ugly even. You just became more beautiful.
It was like the wings were the answer I had been looking for, because I knew the moment I saw you, you were special.

“C-can I touch them ?”
Your head rose in interest and your eyes lit up with a careful glow. And I took that as an invitation.
 
Leaning over, I carefully the outline of your wings, they twitched at the touch. I found the feeling of them mesmerizing; I could stay forever just every single feather from your bones.
 
You let out a long breath that I believe you’ve been holding in for quite some time.
“They are beautiful, Kibum”

You swung your body slightly around to look at me. A small smile on your lips and tears in your eyes told me you were happy. Confused but genuinely happy.

I remember that I loved seeing that smile on you. I still love it, but that time it was like connecting us both together unconditionally without words. Only one smile and I knew you were okay.

We had to sacrifice a lot during the next five years.

You once told me that no one could ever know about the wings existence and that I was an exception for knowing.
I worked hard to keep it a secret, to shield them from the world.

It wasn’t easy. Over the time it became harder for you to confine them; you were in constant pain of keeping them inside your body. You never told me, but I saw it in your eyes.

You were afraid of hurting me so you kept everything inside yourself, you held the burden on your own shoulders even when I was right there offering my whole being to help you.
Telling me “I’m okay, you shouldn’t worry”. I worried even more.

The time came when you had the urge to fly. To spread your wings out and soar through the shifting air, to have a space where you could belong, where you were born to belong.

But you couldn’t. You were trapped on the ground and it killed you inside, slowly.

I was never the one to sacrifice my own life for others, maybe I was a little selfish but it’s just the way I was born as well. That was until I met you.

From there on, I was willing to sacrifice everything in order to make you happy. But there was really nothing I could do, and this killed me inside as well.

Some years later, I had worked myself up the system and moved to Seoul.
 Taking you with me of course, that was the main plan all along.

I worked hard, but managed to climb up some steps of being a musician. I wasn’t famous or well know, but the money I made was enough for me to give you a new start. To give us a new start.
 
We moved into a top flat with large windows, so it could give you a feeling of being in the air, and high enough for you to spread out your wings without anyone noticing.

I remember the look of your face vividly as a photograph when I told you that this was all ours to keep. The hugs you showered me with that night made it all worth it.

The way you fell asleep in my lap or by my side every night made every all so ing worth it.

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“Jonghyun”
You turned around to face me instead of the night view from our windows.
“mm ?”
I continued to massage your joints even though position we were in made it awkward,
I’m still enjoying the way your feathers feel against my fingers.
“Thank you”
“For what ?”
“For everything Jonghyun, for absolutely everything”
You were suddenly tearing up by your own words, and you looked so incredibly beautiful.

I followed my heart instead of my head this time and wrapped my arms tightly around your waist and hugged you. Hugged you as if my life was at stake.

Your soft sobbing continued, and my grip on your body seemingly got tighter.
Your hands were wrapped around my shoulders for support as your head rested against the fabric of my chest. I softly nestled my head in the crane of your neck while whispering soothing nothings into your skin.

I decided that this moment was too perfect to let the chance pass away.
The need for me to open up to you was stronger than ever, I can’t keep this for myself any longer.

“Kibum, promise me”
Your sobbing stopped, and you raised your head to look me in the eyes. Cheeks stained with wet streaks and eyes glassy of unshed tears. You once again looked beautiful beyond words.
“What ?”
Your voice was shaky and rusty, and a small cough followed not long after.
“That you won’t leave me after this”
His eyes shifted between mine with confusion, while I contemplated ‘it’s now or never’ over and over again in my head.
Finally tilting your chin up to meet mine and then I finally closed our distance.

Planting my lips softly against yours, the touch was shy and fragile, yet it withheld so many strong emotions.
My eyes were closed as I took in the overwhelming feeling of finally having you this close to me.

I was about to pull away from you when I felt a response from your part. Your lips moved against mine with slightly more force than I had on yours.

Your arms tightened around my shoulders as we both deepened the touch of our lips. Loud inhaling from our noses was the only sound filling my ears at the moment as we both gripped onto each other, hard and brutal.
 
I already missed your lips when we parted for air, our lungs happily taking in the fresh oxygen as heavy breathing were filling the soundless room.

“Seven years ago, I fell in love. For seven years, I’ve been in love. Seven years ago, I learned what love really was.”
I paused and softly kissed your lips again, only to pull away before you could respond it.
“For seven years Kibum, I’ve loved only you.”

Your eyes were tearing up again as you crashed our lips together. Brutally molding them together.
I was in heaven, blood boiling and heart fluttering with joy.

You let out soft gasps as my grip on you grew stronger, and soon hands were gripping every part of your body they could reach.
 
We parted yet again, and this time our breaths were louder.

“I- I love you Jonghyun” You pecked my lips in between words. “I love you so ing much”

Tongues were meeting tongues, touches became more desperate and soft moans were battling against harsh grunts. Words were no longer needed as we both knew what we were thinking at this moment.

Both of us were now lying and exhausted on the couch, none of us caring to cover up or move.

This was so much more than perfect.

To have you lying on top of me, resting your head onto my chest watching it raise and fall in synch with my breathing. I was drawing lazy patterns against the low of your back, still not sick of the way your skin feels below my fingers.

Your wings are spread out to their full size, covering our bodies to some extent, and your breath is no longer strained by the pain of keeping them confined.
 
“Kibum”
“mm ?”
“One day, I’ll let you fly”
Your eyes grew and mouth hung open, still your expression was sad.
 
“Jonghyun.. You’ve honestly done enough for me already”
“Then take me with you”
“What ? I am already with you, Jjong.”
“No, take me with you into the air, let me feel how it is to fly”

You just leaned up and kissed me, soft and slow.
“I’ll always take you with me, whether it is in the air or on the solid ground.”