I- um... I fell in a depression you know... It's not one of those subjects that you can talk about so easily, it's so sensitive to me. My life was basically for about 7 years, keyword 'was'. I know what happened in the past, but the thing was I didn't know if my mind wanted to believe it.

- two years ago, december 19th, 2007 -

"...Happy birthday Brian, happy birthday to you," as the group of three people greeted the shocked 17 year-old birthday boy. Two of them being his parents, the third being Jae.  "We love you Brian," a feminine voice said aloud, as it was mom smiling at his son, "I am so proud of you... You've grown so much over the past 5 years!" Mrs. Kang pinched his cheeks, Brian immediately responding, "Mooom!.." He tried to pry off his mothers brawny hands as he said, "My skin gets red easily!" His mother chuckled, a tall figure behind her back, walking towards the birthday boy. "Bri-bri," the man said. It was Jae. "Happy birthday, buddy. You deserve the whole world," Jae said happily. "I don't deserve the entirety of the world. I deserve the people standing in front of me," the broad figure said, taking a sip of his cola.

"Agreed," Mr. Kang said, trying to open a bottle of wine. "Hey, we're taking you out to eat. You pick the place and we drive you there," his father said politely. "Save the wine for later, dad, the restaurant will probably have your favorite, Kalin Cellars Chardonnay Cuvee 1995," successfully persuading his dad, who quickly gave up his attempt to open the bottle of Trimbach Riesling 1999. Brian was always the persuasive type of person, he'd mostly succeed in convincing others but he's not good at convincing himself.

"Where are we headin'," Jae asked the birthday boy as the two boys walked down a hallway, entering his room. Brian jumped backwards onto his bed, giving him a little bounce upward. Jaehyung sat down gently onto the side of Brian's neatly organized bed. "You have a problem with your OCD, you know that?" Jae looked around the room, scanning each and every neatly placed object in the room. "It's also a good thing you know, I can easily see what's organized and what's a mess." Mr. and Mrs. Kang walked in on the two, having their chat. "We're going to get gas for the car, we're at the third tick and I don't want to be stranded on the freeway," his mother said. "I'm telling you we should get a jerrrycan," his father said quietly to Mrs. Kang. "Well what good is that going to do us?.." The married couples' conversation faded as they walked away from the two soul mates.

They didn't know that they were each other's soul mate.

It was quiet for about 2 minutes before Jae initiated a conversation after texting someone on his phone. "What's on your mind right now," he asked. Brian lifted himself up to make eye contact with his best friend, the person who understood him the most... The person who stuck with him for the past 6 years. "That's a vague question... You usually don't ask these kinds of questions. Rather question me at all," Brian suspiciously said. "I don't know, it's just that I feel bothered for some reason. I feel like I've been holding myself back for a long time," Jae said pressingly. The broad figure scrunched his eyebrows together, wondering what he's been hiding. "This isn't a cliche, 'I love you for who you are and I want you to stay with me for the rest of my life,' type of thing is it?" Jae responded immediately, "No! That's not what I was going to say..." Jae was disappointed in himself as he did have feelings for Brian, afraid of rejection. He seemed like he was going to joke around with Jae and torture him for the rest of his life.

"Ah... forget it. I can just tell you when we get to this, 'fancy restaurant,' you've chosen for us," using finger quotes on fancy restaurant, turning his head towards Brian. "Don't worry, it's nothing important... I'm going to get more cola, I'll be back."

He started walking towards the kitchen after he closed Brian's door, with a red cup in his hand. His hand reached into a pocket on the inside of his coat, pulling out an envelope with the front saying:

For: Brian

From: Jae

Jae crumpled the envelope with the card inside and threw it across the kitchen, landing by the refrigerator. Tears emerged from his eyes, streaming down his face. He leaned back against the wall behind him and slid down slowly, sitting down. His knees faced up to the ceiling and his feet pointing at the marble top kitchen table. Wrapping his arms around his legs, he pulled his legs towards his chest and put his head on his kneecaps. "I'm so stupid," he whispered to himself, continuing to sob. "Jae! You looking for something?" Brian walked towards the kitchen, only to see a sobbing Jaehyung. He sat down next to Jae and asked, "I did something didn't I..." The crying male remained silent, but nodded in response. "I-" Jae cut him off, "I'm leaving now. You can enjoy dinner with your parents."

Jae stood up grabbing his keys on the table and putting on his jacket quickly. Brian chased after Jae but his best friend was too quick for him. He was already backing up off the driveway, and then he sped to get away from a failed night he doesn't want to remember. He went 80 miles per hour.

Jae crashed.

Brian heard the crash from a mile away. Immediately he ran, not knowing where his legs would take him. He didn't think, he didn't wonder, he KNEW... He knew exactly what it was. He was close to the scene, seeing a collision of two cars. He couldn't bear to see the sight - no he couldn't look even for a second of what was in front of him. He looked anyways.

What Brian saw was horrific, "N-n-no.. Not this... WHY!?" He was stunned, "Hello?! Are you okay?!" He recognized the car that collided with Jae.

His parents.

He started tearing up. He just stood there, seeing blood drip from the car door. He sat down onto the sidewalk, straightening the envelope and read the front text. He tore it open and saw a card. It was no ordinary card... The front of the card was a imprinted picture of him and Jae at a park. He opened the letter hesistantly, and began reading it. He sobbed immediately, dropping it down.

I love you.

That was all that was written.

Hey! So I really hope you guys enjoyed this first chapter of, "Ashes of the Past," let me know what you think of this first chapter and be sure to subscribe to stay up to date with this story, anyways, stay tuned for Chapter 2!