it's 5:14am when woohyun dies.

it’s also 5:14am when myungsoo comes into his life.

pairing: woogyu and myunggyu

genre: angst. what a surprise since that’s what i usually write along with

other: major trigger warning! sorry that it’s not but i have nothing else to post and then again, this ain’t just a collection.

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The letter that Woohyun left, it’s still in Sunggyu’s drawer, hidden so that his friends won’t find it and complain about Sunggyu not letting go.

It’s useless to Sunggyu to even think about letting go - he simply can’t. He wears Woohyun’s favourite perfume so that he would remember the smell of him, Sunggyu cooks the foods Woohyun liked, he hasn’t thrown away the pile of Woohyun’s clothes in the corner. Sunggyu keeps even the smallest memories with him, he needs everything he can have to remind himself at least a bit of Woohyun - what if one day all of the memories are actually gone? What if one day all he has left is a black tombstone and nothing else?

Woohyun and Sunggyu were a match made in heaven - two music majors who both managed to somehow complete each other’s lives. They laughed, joked, hugged, kissed, loved. It was never supposed to be that serious, Sunggyu was never confident in his relationships and Woohyun was afraid of commintment. So, when Sunggyu asked Woohyun to be his boyfriend - they had gotten drunk together at the local beach - all Woohyun did for answering was to kiss Sunggyu… which was what Sunggyu had been hoping for all of the time he had spent with Woohyun.

They were the official power couple - being always there for each other, making sure the other is okay, kissing whenever they could, just loving each other the best way they could. They moved in together pretty fast, and Woohyun was so happy he cried - he thought that this was it, this was the person with who he was supposed to spend the rest of his life. Sunggyu, he was so happy too, he thought nothing could come between them. They were simply perfect.

Then Woohyun snapped.

It was early September, September the 5th actually - Sunggyu remembers the date way too well. Sunggyu had just gotten home from his ty workplace, and all he wanted to do was to curl up in the corner of their sofa with Woohyun and maybe watch a movie or two. Yeah, that was the plan. However, Sunggyu didn’t know that it would be the worst night of his life.

When he came home… Woohyun wasn’t there. Sunggyu wasn’t worried at first - maybe he had went to the store to get popcorn? - but there was always a little worried voice in his head, telling him that something was wrong. Maybe it was the fact that he knew Woohyun had gotten worse again - even when he didn’t say it Sunggyu just knew. Behind that happy Woohyun was something that nobody really could explain with words, so the professionals stated it as depression. What had been said to Woohyun, he didn’t tell about that to Sunggyu. Woohyun was sometimes just numb, and he found it hard to breathe. It was hard for him to just live. Sunggyu tried to do anything to make Woohyun feel at least a bit better but the day when he found a red rose and a letter on their kitchen table he knew something was wrong.

Scared, Sunggyu opened the letter and after that he just knew what had happened and burst into tears.

Hey Sunggyu, it’s me, Woohyun. But you probably guessed that, right?

I’m writing this as the rope waits for me in my bag, the rose I bought for you to represent my love for you is already on the table. Do you still love me, even after what I am going to do? I hope you do, at least a bit.

Well, Sunggyu, it was always supposed to end up like this - maybe you didn’t know it but I did. I have planned this since I was about 17, and I have finally made my decision to leave this world. It isn’t your fault, please don’t blame yourself - you made me feel at least a bit of happiness in this life of mine. You, Kim Sunggyu… you are what they call perfection. You didn’t care about my problems, you truly wanted me, which actually amazes me. Who would want me? You said you did, but honestly I always wondered if it was all a lie. I hope it wasn’t but Sunggyu, was it?

Anyways… I honestly don’t really know what to write to you. I could tell about how much I love you, hell, I could go on about that for ages but I have already told you that enough, haven’t I? Sunggyu, I’m going to tell you it for the last time, unless it is carved on my tombstone - Kim Sunggyu, I ing love you. Great, now I am crying like a baby.

This goodbye letter is shorter than I wanted it to be but honestly Sunggyu… I have a one last wish for you. Please, even if I am gone, don’t just be stuck on me. You have to let go as time comes. Please love again. You can always love me but you have to love others too, and I want you to find your one true love because that seems like it simply wasn’t me. Find someone, love, let go.

For the last time, you were my only happiness, my love. You’re in my mind always, even when I am dead.

Woohyun was found in an old abandoned house, hanging on the end of a rope. Sunggyu couldn’t simply stop crying, he just cried for days.

Woohyun’s funeral - it was a mess. Lots of crying people, an angry cousin who couldn’t hold his anger about how Woohyun just decided to leave like that and after all that crying Sunggyu was just numb. He felt the pain but there was nothing anymore for him to actually show it.

Sunggyu felt like this was it. There went his biggest source of happiness, his soulmate, his everything. And now he was gone, just like that.

It took months and years for Sunggyu to find someone new again. This time it was someone who wasn’t like Woohyun at all - it was a boy called Kim Myungsoo, who majored in literature, and they just happened to meet in a bar when Sunggyu was way too drunk. Myungsoo was absolutely gorgeus, Myungsoo was even more beautiful than the stars in the sky in Sunggyu’s eyes. Myungsoo laugh made Sunggyu laugh too - he loved the way the other just… radiated happiness when he laughed. Myungsoo was quieter but he knew how to love. Maybe he got attached easily or he fell too easily, Sunggyu never got to know, but it was like Myungsoo wanted them to be more than Sunggyu could handle - at least at first. But then Sunggyu remembered Woohyun’s wish - his only wish - and he thought that it, I’m going to love again.

The night Sunggyu asked Myungsoo to be his boyfriend - that night Myungsoo cried over happiness and that was also the night Sunggyu knew that he had made the right decision - it was okay to let go. It was okay to start something new again. It was finally his time to move on and Sunggyu knew that Woohyun would have been happy if he saw him right now. He had kept his promise, and maybe Myungsoo could be his soulmate too. Maybe Myungsoo was what he needed. Myungsoo… was a new chance, a new beginning. Because they loved too.

I will love again for you.