Hold Me 6: Her Issue, Her Desperation

BGM: GDragon Ft Jennie - Black

Sungjae watched amusedly as Joy lied down on the grass to face the darkness of the sky and the comfort of stars.

“I can drink this sight forever you know oppa?” She grinned. “It is so pretty.” If it was even humanly possible, her smile brightens up more than it did before.

“It is indeed pretty.” He curved into a gentle smile.

But not at the star, it was at her. As if he was talking to her and not the stars.

After his dad passed away, he never had seen anything as blinding as this.

As her smile.

The emptiness was no longer there.

It was childlike as her eyes and nose crinkled in pure joy.

“You know Joy, you look prettier smiling like this.” Sungjae said bluntly as he continued munching the prawn snacks that they actually have gotten for the birds early this evening.

Joy suddenly jolted up and sat facing him. “What actually happens in the house sunbaenim?”

“It’s oppa.” Sungjae stated as a matter of fact as he waved his forefinger in front of her face, trying to prove his point.

“Fine. Oppa.”

He lets out a boyish grin.

It was so pure and so precious that it is kind of hard to believe that he is by all means a miserable being.

“Don’t you need to go home?”

“You are changing the topic.”

“I’m serious Joy. What about the people taking care of you.” Sungjae looked at her concernedly when he noticed her hair was a mess. He tried to withhold his chuckle so as not to ruin the mood that they are having now.

“You know I was adopted?” She asked only to feel his hot breath fanning on her cheeks. It was so close that she can even feel the tip of his nose touching the side of her ear. It makes her blush fervently.

Joy suddenly leaned back, taken aback at the close proximity only to be pulled back by Sungjae so he can finally brush in the dirt that got stuck in between the strand of her hairs.

Sungjae who just finally gotten how close they are being with each other, cough awkwardly.

“Why you say that?” He tried his best to continue back their conversation as he placed his hand just right beside hers. It was now brushing against each other

“You just called my supposed parents, people that are taking care of me and I figure you will solve the puzzle since we face the same issue that should not be named.”

“I really didn’t mean to pry Joy. You know your life is not only the one who . My mother barely looks at me.” Sungjae tried to sound fine but Joy noticed the slight snicker in his tone.

“She will come around oppa.” Joy tapped Sungjae’s hand trying to reassure him.

“I wish she will but it has been years. Having a family doesn’t feel like I’m having one.”

“Tell me about it.” Joy scoffed bitterly at their fate. “Every day I walk back home with a pair of welcoming arms but I don’t know them. It was cold…. I felt cold. I want to feel numb. Whenever they did something nice to me, I feel so guilty it eats me alive. Whenever people called me..” Joy bites her lower lips pausing… “Lee Sooyoung.” Her breath hitched.. “My heart hurts so much.”

He recognized her eyes. It was a called of desperation. She wanted so much to be free of her pain. It was a direct reflection of his image whenever he looked at himself in the mirror. That moment when he recalled feeling how he loathe his own self… his own being for being alive.

He remembered his dad freeing him from his seat belt and pushed him out alive. By the time his father tried to escape, it was too late.

He cannot help it but felt himself tearing up when he saw how her teardrops trailed slowly down her cheeks with his own tears falling off his own cheeks almost the same time as hers.

He can feel the warmth of her palms as she reached for his cheek.

“It does hurt. Everyday. Every single damn day.”

He lifted his hand to do the exact same thing towards her.

He was glad he found her..

He was glad to