Min Yoongi

. . . I watched her long, mussed hair swing at her waist as she walked away from me. Her slender shoulders shook and her arms came up around her torso as if to comfort herself. She was crying and I was an idiot. My stomach ached and my throat burned with regret.

“Somin-ah, wait,” I scrambled to my feet, tossing my headphones on to my open laptop and hurry after her. “I didn’t mean that, I’m so stupid, wait-”

She turns around, brushing tears out of her eyes. “Did you wake up every morning next to me thinking of someone else?” Her voice shook with anger but her eyes were dark with pain. “Did you make love me to me wishing I was someone else?”

“No,” I stutter, thrown off by her wild accusations, “baby, it’s only been you.”

“You still love her,” she said, ignoring my words completely. “Why else would you be staying away from your friends. Did she choose someone else? Is that why you came to me?” Her voice raised in fury for the first time since I’d met her.

“Somin, you know that’s not true. Let me explain-” I start.

“Tell me you love me.” She cuts me off.

I pause. “What?”

She swallows and I immediately regret hesitating. She pulls away from, I can see it on her face and I want to punch myself.

“I’m sorry,” her voice is reserved, all the anger disappears from her face, “it was selfish of me to ask that of you. I’m tired tonight, but you’re welcome to the couch.” She whirls around and starts up the stairs to her bedroom.

I shut my eyes. “,” I whispered. She thought I was using her to get over someone, she thought I saw her as nothing but a warm body and clean bedsheets. I’d thrown harsh words at her face and made her cry and despite all of that, she wouldn’t kick me out. I was such an idiot.

Somin was like no woman I’d ever met. She’d taken me in, bloody and filthy and drunk, with a smile on her face and laughter in her eyes. She was absolutely beautiful, caring, and funny. I’d met her less than a month ago, but I’d never grown as close to someone as fast as I had with her. I’d never developed feelings for someone as fast as I had with her. I had never fallen as fast.

Maybe at first, I was glad for her attention but after the first kiss, I’d thought of no one but her. I’d never been in love with anyone other Aaemi, but those feelings hurt me over and over again. When I was with Somin all I wanted to do was laugh and smile with her, I content with the slightest contact and the smallest smile. And my music reflected it. I’m so happy here, with her, it was hard not to make music.

I followed her up the stairs, my heartbeat speeding up.

Her bedroom was dark, she’d pulled the windows closed and lowered the blinds. Late evening light streamed through the tiny slits and splayed over her exposed legs and torso. Her bed was my favorite place to be. It was huge, taking up most of the room, covered in pillows, faux fur and other various soft things covered by a canopy that shut out the rest of the world. She’d thrown herself onto the bed, not bothering with the sheets. She lay on her back with an thrown over her eyes. Reaching down, I unlaced my boots silently and stepped out of them. I then, unbuckled my belt and left it beside my shoes.

I sat down on the bed. She stiffened, feeling the bed dip under my weight, but doesn’t move. She turns to face away from me, her arm falling away from her face. I pull myself onto the bed next to her cautiously laying on my side beside her.

“Please,” I say, inhaling deeply. “Please don’t think that I’ve thought of anybody but you since I came down the stairs that morning and saw you sitting at that piano.” Somin doesn’t say anything. “I love you.” I murmur.

She turns to face me. “If you love me, you’ll return.”

“What?” I blink, furrowing my eyebrows.

“If you’re really over her and you love me, you’ll return to your friends and your fans and your music.” She said to me firmly. I reach up to collar her neck, rubbing my thumb into her soft skin.

“You want me to go?” I ask.i

“You left because she loves someone else. One of your team members?” She asks. I hesitate, but nod slowly. “Then return. You don’t love her, it shouldn’t hurt anymore.”

“I left them,” I saw, not completely understanding where she was going. “I can’t just return whenever I want.”

She slipped her hands up to curve around my neck pulling my face to hers. The kiss is lingering but before I can reach forward to return it she pulls away.

“But it sounds like they’re waiting for you.” She smiles at me sadly before pulling me to her again.

...

She didn’t have to tell me that last night was goodbye. I could taste it on her lips, see it in the way she shifted away from me when I sat up in the morning. Not once had she pulled away from me in the morning.

I pulled my clothes on quietly, quickly. I didn’t want to wake her up, but I wanted to at the same time. What could I say to her that would