Yixing quieted down after some time. It was ironic really. When he first found out about Jongdae’s death it was Minseok who found him, on whose shoulder he cried on, who took care of him. Now too, when he came back to his senses it was still Minseok who took care of him. Minseok let him to cry his heart out then made him drink tea and sat beside him caressing his back. Story repeated itself, except this time there was a slight difference; he felt things. Unlike the last time, when he shut down after crying, this time he still felt a sharp pain in his heart no matter how much time went by. There was something else he was feeling – shame. He was ashamed of himself. He had let down everyone who cared about him. He let down Mr. Kim – the person who despite his better judgment always supported the homeless guy his son dragged in, who made sure Yixing never felt his unworthiness of his son. Mr. Kim lost his only child and he wasn’t there to help him cope with it. He felt terrible for uncle Minseok too. He was the person who took him in, the person who gave him a job, who became someone he could rely on.  He was like a father to him which he never had and this was how he repaid him – by being a pain in the . Instead of focusing on helping his childhood friend, uncle Minseok had to take care of Yixing who was so weak he pretended to be a robot to not feel pain anymore. Pathetic really.  But the worst thing he had done to them was to make them pretend Jongdae was still alive. Yixing had been through a lot and had himself done some questionable things but he had never seen something that cruel being done before. Mr. Kim and uncle Minseok had to pretend Jongdae was still alive just because Yixing was weak. He was a disgrace.

“It was K9, wasn’t it?” asked Yixing just to be saying something.

He knew it could only be K9. No other android ever made by uncle Minseok had so much likeness to a human. Minseok always had a high moral code. He like all the other scientists refused to make too humanlike androids. Humanity had learnt its mistakes two decades earlier when a group of humanlike androids tried to get rid of humans. After that scientists still made humanlike androids but never made them too similar to the superior race. They either didn’t look like humans, had no emotions, or couldn’t live long without monthly check-ups. There were created to be simply used as tools. But there are always exceptions. That one was K9.

Yixing first saw him on his third day at uncle Minseok’s. The first two days Minseok tried to find out things about Yixing, but Yixing wasn’t used to trusting people so he kept quiet. Uncle Minseok seemed distressed with it but made no verbal objections. He showed him what was where and what he was supposed to do. At first he gave Yixing easy tasks, like giving him instruments when he needed them or bringing something from another room. Uncle Minseok himself never had robot servants; he enjoyed doing things on his own. During his second day at Minseok’s, he made a minor change in an android that Minseok had been working on for some time. At first Minseok was pissed when he found out Yixing had touched his new design without permission but when he noticed that android worked better, he inquired where Yixing learned that from. Yixing replied saying that in childhood he was surrounded by androids and although it was pretty vague, Minseok seemed to have caught on as he never asked about his past works again. The next day a very excited Minseok came up to him and told him he had something incredible to show him. Yixing raised his eyebrows but followed the funny old man to his laboratory. There he first saw him. K9 was still in construction; only a part of his corpus was made and his face. At that time he still had his real titanium face; the flesh or rather the flash imitator was usually added at the very end. Yixing took a closer look at the robot’s parts and he had to admit that Minseok had every right to be proud of his work. Minseok enthusiastically showed him his sketches and plans for K9 and when he heard Yixing’s ideas and the very small compliment he immediately told the boy that he could help him with K9 if he felt like it. Yixing was flattered; he agreed. So the whole year he spent helping Minseok to make the perfect android. He spent countless days shut in the stuffy lab with music on blast as he worked on K9’s corpus. His only destruction was Jongdae who pretty frequently visited him to bring him lunch or simply watch him work. He often asked Jongdae if he hadn’t got anything better to do, to which Jongdae always replied that looking at Yixing was the best thing he could do. And every time Yixing had to hide his face, because damn him if he let Jongdae see how much he affected him.

“Yes,” replied Joonmyeon, in careful voice.

“Luhan didn’t steal him, did he?” asked Yixing with furrowed brows.

He really hoped the robot was okay. After all it was Minseok’s work of 5 years.

“No. After you lost consciousness, he easily freed himself from the boy’s grip and then attacked Luhan. He was punching him restlessly and the people passing by had to pry him away from Luhan. He was pissed at him for telling you those things,” replied Joonmyeon.

“Is Luhan alright?”

“He run away as soon as people managed to take hold of Jong- I mean K9.”

“Good,” he was really glad Luhan got away. “Where is K9 by the way?”

“He is in his room. Do you want to see him?” Minseok sounded curious.

“No.”

“I figured.”

Yixing definitely wasn’t ready to face K9, not now that for sure. He didn’t know what he would do if he saw the robot who had Jongdae’s face. It’d break him to see Jongdae’s face but understand that the real one was dead. There was something else bothering him too. He had kissed him. Jongdae had died only a few months ago and he already had feelings for someone else. Technically he thought they were the same person and he had no idea who he really was but it still counted. He kissed a robot in the same room he had kissed and cuddled Jongdae, the same room he made love to him.

What would Jongdae think? Jongdae got half-seriously jealous every time Yixing hugged Luhan or called him his soulmate. He really couldn’t blame Jongdae for not trusting him fully. He was bad at showing his emotions and he often wondered if Jongdae knew just how much he loved him. Jongdae always told him that he knew that Yixing was a ‘soft-cuddle bear’ underneath, but did he really understand just how much Yixing adored him? There were many things he felt sorry for and Jongdae’s insecurities were the biggest of them. And now he unintentionally cheated on his fiancé with someone or rather something that looked just like him.

This was too confusing. His head was aching from all the thoughts and worries.

He decided to go to his room and try to sleep. Maybe in the morning his head would be clearer and his messy life would actually make sense.

He excused himself from the room not without saying goodnight to Minseok and Joonmyeon. When he reached his door he saw a tray in front of it. There was a cup of cocoa on it. He crouched down and read the note that said ‘Hot drinks help humans to feel better. Please drink this’. Yixing didn’t need to look to his left to see a head poking through the door down the hall. He could feel K9’s eyes on him, but he didn’t want to look back. He was too tired, too confused, too overwhelmed to look at the one that was and was not Jongdae. He stood up and went to his room, not taking the tray with him. He didn’t see the way K9’s expectant look turned into disappointment or that the android sighed.  

xxx

The next day Minseok was making breakfast while Joonmyeon was sitting near the round table – smoking.

“Do you think he’ll get better?”

Joonmyeon didn’t need to say who he meant; Yixing was all they talked about.

“I think he will. Eventually,” Minseok was sure, although he himself didn’t know why.

At that the door opened and K9 walked in.

“Good morning, Mr. Kim, Doctor Kim.”

He bowed to the men and sat by Joonmyeon’s side. Joonmyeon still had a hard time looking at the android; he was way too similar to his son.

He sighed and shook his head. Jongdae wouldn’t want him to be sad. He would want him to try to be happy again and take care of Yixing. Jongdae was the only reason Joonmyeon agreed to the whole mascaraed. The moment Minseok suggested making his newly finished android to look like Jongdae, Joonmyeon immediately refused. He knew from the beginning that seeing his son’s copy would remind him of his death, but at the same time he couldn’t bare to look at Yixing. The poor boy had completely lost it. He didn’t eat food and kept insisting that he wasn’t human and had no idea who he was. It was horrible. Seeing Yixing in his state made him think that his son’s fate was somehow better. So that’s why he in the end agreed to Minseok’s pretty easy and yet pretty risky plan of agreeing with Yixing’s version of reality.

Joonmyeon shook his head again. He was getting carried away by his thoughts. He lit another cigarette as Minseok put a cup of dark coffee in front of him. Minseok seated himself beside K9.

“Did he drink your cocoa?”

 “No,” said K9 in his usual voice, though if you listened carefully you could catch the notes of disappointment in it.

“Don’t worry too much. He just needs time.” said Minseok ruffling K9’s hair.

 “But I figured he was cured already. He was alright before the incident with his friend. Why would he need more time? He already knows who is who, what’s there to think about.”

“Ah, you have a lot to learn about humans, my child.”

“I want to learn quicker so I can help him properly. This is taking too long,” K9 was pouting.

All the time K9 spent pretending to be Jongdae clearly affected him. He even behaved and thought like Jongdae.

“Maybe I should kiss him again,” K9 was thinking out loud.

At that Minseok chocked on his coffee, while Joonmyeon gasped and accidentally chocked on his cigarette. K9 tilted his head wondering what made them so surprised.

“You did what?” Minseok recovered quicker than his friend.

“We kissed. Isn’t it a thing you humans do before you start having se-“

Yixing loudly cleared his throat at that. He was standing in the doorway with an apparent blush on his cheeks.  

“Anyways, I’m heading out so I came to worn you.”

“Where are you going?” asked K9.

“I need to clear my head. I won’t take long,” said Yixing without looking at him.

Neither of them saw Yixing in 2 years.