Unconsciously humming, Mark walked down the street. It was a beautiful summer day. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, the flowers were blooming. The day was just perfect. He didn't know if it was just him, but the whole world felt like such a beautiful place. Everything was full of colors and happiness.

He grinned at the random people passing him by. Some of them smiled back, some of them ignored the silly boy. Though Mark didn't really care much, it was a wonder he even had the mind to acknowledge them. Nothing could bring his mood down today.

Mark halted to a stop under a grand cherry tree. Even though it wasn't the season when the cherry blossoms bloomed, it still looked beautiful. Smiling Mark closed his eyes and faced the sky. He let the sunlight dance on his face as a warm summer breeze caressed his skin. This was the place, where he first met Jackson.

It was January or was it March? Jackson stood under the very cherry tree. Cherry blossoms were floating down around him. Making him look like a scene from a movie. A man like that couldn't really exist in this dull world. Ever since then Jackson had brought color and excitement into Mark's world.

He smiled at the memory. At the time, Mark didn't know he would come to care about the man so deeply. He didn't know it was possible for a person to feel so strongly about anyone.

Being a coward, Mark had kept quiet for so many years. He had quietly hoped that if he loved Jackson hard enough, Jackson would have understood or heard the plea of his heart without him needing to voice it out loud. Saving him from the confrontation and the consequences that came with it. How silly of him.

Mark had stayed silently by Jackson's side through his ups and downs. Through his many breakups and makeups. Yes, Jackson has had many relationships. After all, the best things about Jackson was his big heart and his kindness. Those were also his biggest weaknesses. Because of it, he would fall in love easily and also got hurt just as easily. It broke Mark's heart every single time, to see Jackson in so much pain someone had caused him. Again and again.

Not one of Jackson's relationships had lasted more than a few months. Jackson deserved better than that. He deserved someone who would cherish him. Someone who would make him happy. Mark wasn't deluded as to think he was worthy of Jackson. But this he was sure of. He would never hurt Jackson and he would give Jackson all of him. He would treasure Jackson with all his heart for he knows Jackson's worth. He would never take Jackson for granted. So he had decided. Today was the day. Today was the day he would tell Jackson everything.

Mark grinned at the thought and opened his eyes. This morning Jackson had called him over to his house. Jackson had sounded happy. He had told Mark, that he had something important to tell Mark. Something he had been keeping as a secret from Mark for a while now. Mark wondered what it could be. Happily, Mark continued his way toward Jackson’s house.

Mark doesn't expect Jackson to feel the same way about him. For now, he was satisfied with the fact that when Jackson felt down or lonely it was Mark he searched for. Mark was happy with how they currently were. He was happy every time they met. Every time they touched. All he needed was for Jackson to know how he felt. It was suffocating not be able to express how he truly felt.

It felt like deception. It felt like he was deceiving Jackson somehow. He needed Jackson to know that every single innocent thing they did meant so much more to Mark. Every single time they touched, it wasn't that innocent to Mark. Mark's affection towards Jackson wasn't innocent whatsoever. He always felt guilty by not being who Jackson thought he was. He felt like he was tainting their innocent friendship. And it needed to stop. He was done with deceiving Jackson and done with deceiving himself. Jackson needed to know regardless the feelings being mutual or not. He needed to know. It was only fair.

The closer Mark got to Jackson’s house, the more nervous he started to feel. All the confidence from before were vanishing and replaced with doubt. Was it really the right thing to do? Was it really fair for Jackson? Did he really do this for Jackson’s sake? Or was he really doing this for himself?

Because the matter of the fact was, deep down inside he did harbor a tiny hope, that with some sort of miracle, Jackson would share his feelings. Maybe all these years he wasn’t alone with this. Maybe that was the reason Jackson’s relationships never worked. He never could understand, how some could leave Jackson. Jackson was the most lovable person he has ever had the pleasure to encounter. Maybe just maybe, all the tiny gestures of affection Jackson spoilt him with, held a deeper meaning? Just maybe they were on the same boat.

With a heart that was trying to beat its way out of his chest, he shakily lifted his finger up to ring the doorbell. He was now consumed with nerves and doubt. Maybe this was a mistake. It felt like his guts were filled with slithering snakes. He felt like he couldn't stand still but at the same time, couldn't move. He was feeling so many mixed feelings, he was confused about what he wanted to do.

He closed his eyes and with all the will he had, he pulled up his determination awake once again. This was it. He took a deep breath and quickly pressed the bell before he could have second thoughts about it.

All he could hear was rush in his ears. He was on the verge of a panic attack. Maybe he could still run for it. He couldn’t stand here on the porch for any second longer. Before he could do anything rash though, the door opened startling him. A smiley Jackson popped from the open door.

"Markie Pooh! You are finally here!" He exclaimed, quickly took Mark’s wrist and excitedly pulled Mark inside the house. "What are you doing there standing so awkwardly? Come in quickly"

Jackson was obviously dying to tell Mark his little secret. Mark grinned, relaxing enormously after seeing Jackson’s lit up face. He quickly closed the door and kicked his shoes off on the way, as Jackson hurriedly pulled him towards the living groom.

Upon arrival, Jackson pushed Mark on the couch and hurriedly sat down beside him. Jackson took both of Mark’s hands in his and stared silently at Mark. Mark looked down at their intertwined fingers and slowly looked up to meet Jackson’s dark eyes. Jackson was smiling happily but didn't say a word, just stared. Which was highly abnormal for Jackson, who loved to talk Mark’s head off. The weirdness of the situation only brought back the anxiety that vanished earlier. Mark blushed, becoming very uncomfortable under such intense scrutinization.

Mark cleared his throat. "Why aren't you saying anything?" Forcing a small smile on his face, hoping to display a carefree appearance, Mark tried to quiet down his crazily beating heart. He felt that if it beat even a tad louder, the whole neighborhood would be able to hear it.

Jackson was silent for a few more seconds before exploding. "I'm just so happy! You don't know how hard it was for me to keep this from you. Every time we met, I just wanted to confess everything. But I didn't want to ruin it by saying it out loud because I still wasn't sure of it…"

Mark had no idea, what Jackson was blabbering about. He stared deep into Jackson’s beaming eyes to search for some answers but found nothing.

"Today, finally, I can tell you everything! I'm sure now. Finally, I can come clean!"

Mark was getting extremely nervous at this point. He really didn't have the slightest clue what it could be. But the little tiny hope buried deep inside his heart was tugging at him. Maybe this was it. Maybe he wasn't in this alone.

Jackson made a little dramatic pause. He took a deep breath and lowered his head closer to Mark’s and looked around as if about to tell Mark a big secret.

Mark giggled at the silly act, it was obvious that it was just the two of them in the house. Jackson leaned closer to whisper "Promise you won't tell anyone?"

Mark dutifully held out his pinkie, also having lowered his head and mimicked Jackson’s whispering, "I pinkie promise".

Jackson intertwined their pinkies and sat straight up. He closed his eyes and took another deep breath before exclaiming "I've fallen in love!”

Jackson carefully opened his eyes to peek at Mark’s face. Mark was completely shocked. He didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know what to think.

"I think it's real this time. I think this time it's going somewhere. I think this time... She might be the one." Jackson looked at Mark hopefully.

Mark let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. A piece of his heartbreaking in the process. "So who is she?"

Jackson grinned "You know her! You saw her last time. She was the girl that helped me decorate the kitchen"

"Her? Your new friend? The modeling one?"

”Actually, we were dating at that time too... Please don't be mad! This time it was special so I wanted to tell you after I was completely sure about her"

Mark felt like breaking apart. He felt like someone was ripping his heart out. But he still tried to stay strong. He should be happy for Jackson. He flashed Jackson a smile. "I’m jealous you snatched her all to yourself. She was so pretty, where am I to find another beauty like her to myself." Mark nudged Jackson’s side playfully ”So, how serious is it?"

Jackson smiled brightly. "She said she wanted me to meet her parents!" He looked so happy.

Mark had to do this. He had to do this for Jackson. So he smiled brightly rivaling Jackson’s smile. "Tell me more about her. Tell me everything" 

Jackson looked even happier, he was now beaming. "Well, I can't believe she's mine. She's so perfect. She could've had any man she wanted but she still somehow fell for me. I'm so happy I could die. Can you believe it we've been together for almost a year now!..."

Mark listened to Jackson smiling and nodding. He tried, he tried to go through with this but he couldn't. Hearing all the things Jackson said about her made Mark realize just how much Jackson loved her. Just how far away from Mark’s reach he really was. And just how ridiculous Mark was a moment ago. He would never fall for Mark. Mark didn't have a chance against someone like her.

Mark couldn't take it anymore. He needed to get out.

Mark quickly pulled Jackson to a tight hug while smiling happily "I'm so happy for you. Congratulations. You deserve this. After all the bad things that happened to you, now finally something so good happened. I’m just so happy, you know” Mark pulled away slightly to look at the face he held so dear.

"M-Mark" Jackson smiled fondly "Thank you... I'm so happy that I could share this with you. You've always helped me through everything. You know... you mean a lot to me, right? So just whenever you are down let me help you like you helped me."

Mark needed to get out now.

"Me? Down? Do you even know me?" he faked a laugh hitting Jackson playfully on the arm.

Mark pulled apart from Jackson completely. "Jackson, I just remembered, I have to be somewhere." He quickly stood up from the couch and gave Jackson a little smile "Congratulations once more!" He rushed to the door, glanced back once more at Jackson sitting dumbfounded on the couch. And then stepped outside.

"Mark? See you tomorrow okay!"

"Okay," Mark smiled before closing the door behind.    

Tears started rolling down his face. He began to walk aimlessly. He needed to get away from that place. Anywhere was fine, just had to get far away from here. He sped up and without knowing, he was already running, tears rolling down freely on his face.

How could he be so stupid? Of course, Jackson had been a lot happier lately why didn't he suspect anything? Why was he even crying for something like this? This wasn’t the first time Jackson was dating someone. Why was he affected so strongly?

Mark pulled to a halt at the nearby park feeling like he couldn't run anymore and slumped down on a random bench near him. He sniffled. He was so pathetic! How could he have gotten his hopes up all by himself and now get hurt all by himself? It felt like he had just broken up from a relationship that he created all by himself in his own head... Truly stupid.

Feeling cold, he glanced down at his feet. What Mark saw made him laugh bitterly. God, he was so useless, he even forgot to put his shoes on.

------------------------------------

Mark stirred a bit. There was a banging in his head. He felt disorientated. All he could see was darkness. Where was he? He could smell smoke. It was thick and it made him feel sick. It smelled like a mix of gasoline and something burning. He felt nausea creeping in. He thinks he was lying on something that swayed? It made him feel motion sickness.

"…-ey!..."

What was that sound? He tried to listen carefully to hear it again. He heard a lot of noises but it felt like it was all muffled by something.

"Hey!"

This time Mark heard it clearly. He tried to answer the deep voice but couldn't remember how.

"Hey, can you hear me?"

Mark managed to let out a strangled sound.

"Can you hear me? Try to move if you can!"

Mark tried to move but I couldn't figure out how. He focused with all his might to do something. Anything. His body felt heavy.

Out of nowhere he suddenly saw a blink of blurry mess till his heavy lids closed again. With much difficulty, he opened his heavy lids again. Slowly his vision cleared up. And he could focus.

The first thing Mark noticed was that he was floating in the air. The second thing was that he was floating above a deep gulch. He wondered why he was there for a while, mesmerized by the beautiful view of the deep gulch. He felt serene floating above it. He enjoyed the small breeze that played with his hair. He must be dead, mustn't he?

"Hey wake up!"

Mark looked at the direction of the voice that woke him up. He was looking at a young man. The man had little scratches and dirt all over his body, his clothes were mildly torn. He was a few meters away from Mark, crouching down so he was closer to my Mark’s level. It looked like he was trying to reach towards Mark but Mark was too far away for him to reach. And something about the way the man positioned himself told Mark that the man was for some reason fearing to come closer to Mark.

Mark looked at the man confusedly. Was the man dead too? Why did he look so worn if he was?  The man looked surprised as he noticed that Mark had opened his eyes and was now staring at him with an unreadable expression.

That only lasted for a mere second, after the initial shock and what flashed through his face that Mark assume was relief, he quickly composed his face again. "Are you okay? Can you feel your limbs?"

Mark furrowed his eyebrows together in confusion. Why was the man asking him that? Wondering what was going on, Mark observed his surroundings more carefully.

First, he was confused at what he saw when suddenly it all clicked. Mark wasn't dead. Oh no. He was pretty much alive. Now he knew where he was. Mark wasn't floating on air like he had initially thought. He was, in fact, lying on the broken window of the bus. His half of the bus must've continued sliding towards the cliff as he passed out, the part of the bus where he was lying on had slid over the cliff. The only thing that kept Mark from free falling down the deep gulch, was a little part that connected his side of the bus to the part of the bus that was securely on the ground.

Suddenly the deep gulch didn't seem that beautiful anymore, the serene feeling was now long gone. How ironic. When he thought he was dead he welcomed it feeling serene and calm, feeling that it was an escape from all the sadness and exhaustion. But now that Mark knew he was alive, he could feel how his heart pumped adrenaline into his blood system, he could feel fear creeping in, and he could feel the strong sense of wanting to live take control. Mark felt his whole body stiffening with panic and mind cloud with fear.

"Hey!" The man’s voice brought Mark back from the depths of his fear. "Hey! Look at me!"

Mark shakily turned to look at him.

"Good. Now, this is extremely important. Listen to me carefully. Do as I say and remain as calm as possible. "

Mark nodded weakly. The man gave Mark a reassuring nod.

"Now I want you to as carefully as you can, crawl towards me." The man had this very determined look on his face like he had some important mission he had to complete.

Listening to his words, Mark tried to move only to feel a sharp pain shoot through his body. There were different kinds of pain all over his body. Ignoring the pain as much as he could, he shakily rose from his lying position to a crawling one, still keeping his eyes locked with the stranger's, focusing on the stranger, keeping his head as clear from the pain and the current situation as he could.

"Good. Now, crawl towards me. Don't be afraid. Focus on me, look only at me" The stranger stretched both of his hands out towards Mark. "Come, it's alright. I'll catch you. Trust me"

Mark looked deep into his determined eyes, finding new strength to overcome fear. Mark nodded weakly and shakily dragged his body forward using his arms, right forearm then left, in no time he noticed he was crawling towards the stranger, slowly but determinedly.

When Mark could almost reach the stranger’s hands, the unstable bus wall that he was crawling on suddenly begun to sway even more dangerously. It started to lean downwards like it was going to snap at any moment and free fall down the gulch with Mark on it. It couldn't take Mark’s weight any longer. Mark stiffened at the realization and looked at the stranger with a growing panic in his eyes. The young man had noticed it too, his eyes filled with a mix of worry and fear.

"Jump! Jump now! I'll catch you! Just jump!"

Trusting the stranger’s words, Mark took a deep breath, closed his eyes tightly, gathered his strength and jumped.

Every muscle in his body protested the action with an unbearable pain. For a second it felt like everything slowed down. Mark could hear the bus snap in two just before he jumped. He could feel a sharp stinging sensation as the cold wind caressed his probably damaged face. Above all, Mark could feel his heart trying to beat its way out of his chest. It felt like, for a short while, that Mark was flying.

Until he felt a strong pair of arms catch him. Mark probably used too much force when he jumped because he felt how the stranger stumbled backward on the ground as he caught Mark. The young man then sits back up, carefully gathering Mark in his arms.

Mark smiled and opened his eyes. At close distance, the stranger looked even more handsome with twin moles above his left eye. Mark found the tiny detail fascinating in his state of exhaustion.

"I knew you'd catch me"

The stranger looked surprised at the sound of Mark’s raspy voice. The young man smiled warmly. It was mesmerizing. It looked like he radiated some sort of light to his otherwise dark surroundings with his smile. He carefully touched Mark’s forehead, arranging Mark’s sticky hair off his face.

"Don't worry... You are safe now." The stranger looked at Mark with care in his eyes "Just try to stay awake until help arrives. Do not fall asleep. Stay with me. You have lost a lot of blood..."

Mark only smiled at him, feeling how heavy his eyelids had become. The deep soothing sound of the stranger's voice becoming only a distant murmur. Slowly his eyes closed. Mark shuddered feeling cold. He nestled against the stranger to feel warmer. He felt the stranger inspecting something on his forehead, before shaking Mark by his shoulders. Mark could no longer feel the unbearable pain. Now all he felt was tiredness and numbness. Mark vaguely felt his own lips moving to saying something that he didn’t have the mind to care about before he drifted back into the welcoming darkness.