I Hope You Know...
The Words We Never Say
Daesung's POV
You called this morning. It was a short phone call, but I was grateful to get to talk to you at all. I asked how you are doing, but all you would say on that subject was "Fine." You wanted to talk about me; about my D-Day concert tour finale. You told told me that you are proud of me. You said to work hard, do well, & that you would be cheering me on from there. Then the line went quiet. We've learned to be quiet together. Over the years, we've grown so close that we each can tell what the other is thinking, which is a good thing because I've never been very good at expressing my emotions. There's so much that I want to say to you, but I cannot find the words.
Seunghyun's POV
I called you this morning during my break. I really just needed to hear the sound of your voice. It holds such a soothing power over me. I miss you so much I can feel it almost driving me mad at times. I need you to know that I am supporting you, even from afar. At this point, that's all I can do, but still I long to be there with you. To be there for you. To tell you just how much I love you. But I can't say any of those things. Not now. Such things are not allowed.
"We are one now." You've said that more than once. I didn't understand it at first, but later I realized what you meant: We are of one mind; as if we share a brain, so uncanny is our ability to read each other's thoughts. I only hope you can read them now.
Daesung's POV
The concert finale is over & it feels so bittersweet. Youngbae was there on opening night to show his support, Eomma was there last night proving why she is the best mom in the world, & tonight Seungri was there. He came out onstage & surprised everyone when they were bringing out my birthday cake & singing the birthday song to me. Yet despite all the outpouring of love from family, friends, & fans, I felt lonely. Because the one person I most wished to see in the audience or joining me onstage was you. And you could not be there. There was no one to make silly faces at me or dance around like a monkey. No one to smear icing on my face. I always secretly hated it when you did that. But I tolerated it for your sake, because it always made you laugh. And I love to hear that laugh. But this time, there's no one there to smear icing all over me, & oddly enough, I miss it.
Later, when I blew out the candles, I wished that even though we're far apart, somehow you will know that you are on my mind. We share a heart, you & I. So I hope you know how I feel. That you can hear all the things that I can never find the words to say.
Seunghyun's POV
As I go about my evening duties, I can't help but wish that I were there to celebrate your birthday & the success of your D-Day tour with you. I always delight in smearing the icing from your birthday cake on your face. I know it annoys you, that's part of the fun. And you just look so cute like that that I want to eat you up.
I wish I could be by your side & whisper "Happy birthday, Baby," when everyone else has gone. I want to show you exactly how I feel in the best way I know how. I can't be there or do those things right now, but I hope you know that my heart is right beside you. And I hope that you can hear the things I cannot say at all.
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