HEY GUYS! So this story is finally finished, THANK YOU FOR BEARING WITH ME THROUGHOUT THIS STORY! I'm sorry I took longer than I wanted to finish this story, but along the way I became attached to the story, and I took more time to conceptualise the plot.

Also, writing this story has another purpose for me, other than just to add on to the little Chen fanfics here. As some of you readers may have noticed, I touched on bits and pieces of issues relating to anxiety and depression. I may not have done a great job with it as I was trying to make it as realistic as possible from my experience, and I apologise for that. Also, I may have dramatised some parts of it while maintaining its essence in order to make a point or two so...please take it with a pinch of salt.

In my life, there wasn't a Jongdae; there were many people who were manifested into this Jongdae in my story. And also, I chose today to update and finish this story because, I wanted to fulfil my other purpose. I really want to thank all the people who have been there for me through my hard times, and not giving up on me. Without all of you, I don't think I would have been able to reach my birthday today this year. I'm sorry I may not have told you guys everything over this period, but if you guys are reading this (and I hope you managed to sit through my story too), you guys really helped me in one way or another that you may not even know. So yeah, this is also an open letter to those I really want to thank for making this story even possible in the first place. (READERS, DO FEEL FREE TO SKIP THIS IF YOU THINK IT'S TOO LONG, it's okay :) )

TO MY CLAN: I'm sorry guys, I don't think I ever said any of my experiences to any of you in detail, but I really want to thank you guys. You all were always there to let me just talk non-stop whenever I needed to whine to, or just dump all my nonsensical thoughts on someone hahaha. And of course, spending time with you guys was always a pick-me-up whenever I felt down and beaten. Our team may not exist anymore today, but I still believe that at some point in time back then, everything was real, and that we should always remember those times, even though it didn't end well. TO MANY MORE OUTINGS FRIENDS. LOVE YALL.

TO MY CLASS BAES: Don't judge me for writing this I swear. Remember when I said I found my purpose for writing this story? It's to try and let people know how it feels like to struggle with all that emotional stress. Don't think I've done a good job with that, but I consider that purpose fulfilled. And also, for me to write this open letter. Now you guys know why I said Saturday right hahaha. BUT ANYWAY, thanks friends. For everything. I may not have told you guys everything because I didn't want to be a burden back then, but, I do think I'm coping well, especially with our meet-ups and all. WE NEED TO KEEP CATCHING UP AND TALKING OKAY. <3 <3 <3 (3 hearts because 3 people haha okay sorry I'm being lame).

TO MY FELLOW KPOPPER: Okay, it's just because I didn't really have a label for you, but that's good right, YOU'RE UNIQUE HAHA. Well friend...don't get a shock from this I think in this open letter you probably knew the least about how I struggled haha. But friend, I could always trust in you, and that alone kept me going. I could trust that you would be there for me whenever I really need it, and I really thank you for that, it really meant a lot to know that there are people out there who genuinely care. I'm sorry friend, shouldn't launch this bomb on you like this BUT, now you know, and don't get worried or anything, I'm fine okay haha. MEET UP SOON FRIEND (I know we just met last week but still) AND TO ANOTHER 4 YEARS OF SCHOOL BUDDIES. <3

TO MY DECADE-OLD FRIEND: Okay I actually can't count that well, as always, it's like our tenth year of friendship this year? It's been a really long time, half our lives already can you imagine. I know, these days we seldom, rarely talk. You're busy, and well...I just don't initiate much anymore. But, nonetheless, if you didn't already realise while reading the story (if you even read through it, I swear, just take a chance), the promise part came from you. I just wanted you to know that before you started your 24 months (?) I told you not to worry about me, and that I promised that I won't ever let go or give up, that really was what kept me going for a period of time. Every time I broke down and I almost wanted to give up, I'd always stop because I made that promise, and I didn't want to break it. So well, thank you for listening to me, and for being there for me when I need it even though you're tired (I remember when I first told you, you were tired from work or something), though sometimes I'd like it better if you just listened instead of telling me what is right and what is wrong and all that stuff. Meet up soon, if you even have any spare time for me hahaha.