Sorry if this chapter isn't that good...just thought that this part is needed for the story to flow so please bear with me!!

~listen to Chen's song "I'm Not Okay" for this chapter here~

Chaekyung was running through the forest. She was tired, but she could neither slow down nor stop in her tracks. There was a constant presence that was chasing after her, something that was unknown to her, something that was threatening her.

As she continued running, the shackles around her ankles weighed her down even more, bit by bit as time passed. Behind every other tree, she saw a familiar face, familiar faces that she did not wish to remember. With each memory, her heart was plagued by a surging sharp pain. She would slow down each time, but yet, still not being able to stop.

Behind one tree, she saw a group of friends that she had not talked to in a while. A group of friends that had been with her for 4 years. A group of friends she had always known she could count on. But at some point during the 4 years, Chaekyung drifted out of their grasp.

That particular memory sufficed in her mind once again, one of her previous close friends, Eunyoung. “Chaekyung, what’s wrong? These days you always seem so quiet. Like you don’t talk anymore. Feel free to tell me anything alright? I promise I’ll always be a listening ear for you.” Eunyoung’s words always rang in Chaekyung’s ears, even long after since they were no longer friends. Not just Eunyoung, she was no longer in the same group as the other 6 of them. They had always spent time together during classes, breaks, literally all the time that Chaekyung was in school, she was with them.

“Ever since you left to study overseas Jiyoon, Chaekyung always took the chance to bully me, step all over me now that you’re gone. It’s been so hard since you’ve left Jiyoon!” Chaekyung heard Manseol on the phone with their friend who went overseas for studies. Chaekyung and Manseol were once close, but as time went by, their different temperaments led to them drifting apart in the group.

Nonetheless, Chaekyung let it slide. She understood that Manseol was not the most fond of her, and she did not want to ruin Manseol’s friendship with the rest of the group and decided to stay silent about it to the others. This instead backfired against Chaekyung. The rest of the group started to distance themselves from her one by one, even Siyeon who Chaekyung could bare her heart to, who she thought understood her best in the group, believed Manseol bit by bit, and eventually turned her back on Chaekyung.

Chaekyung had always been plagued by this setback. It seemed foolish to others for her to be hung up about her lost friendship with the group, but to her, there was some part of her that could not believe it was the end of her friendship with them. A part of her missed their company even. Chaekyung hated herself for being unable to move on, despite being months since she herself decided to draw the line. Her other friends constantly lectured her that she was taking too long to get over the past friendship. She herself knew that she had to move on, but she could not let go. There were other issues in her mind that Chaekyung saw as being closely related, but those around her could never see the same way as her.

That same group of friends and her were close to Jaehyun, a member of the same club they were in. Chaekyung had developed feelings towards Jaehyun in the first year he joined the club, attracted by his caring and friendly personality. Though they were not the closest friends, he was a source of comfort for Chaekyung during school. Unfortunately, as Chaekyung drifted away from the group, she saw less of Jaehyun, as Jaehyun continued to hang out with the group. With her deciding to leave the group, she was seen as the one who betrayed her friends. Unaware of Chaekyung’s thoughts and feelings, Jaehyun stuck with the group’s view of her, eventually cutting off contact with her.

Chaekyung had tears streaming down her face as she remembered all her times with the group and with Jaehyun. They were there for her at her once-lowest point in life. Her childhood friends had fallen out with each other because of her. Chaekyung felt like she was the worst friend around, and that instead of comforting her childhood friends when they were in trouble, she created trouble and inflicted hurt on them instead. Chaekyung started losing her self-esteem since then, and her grades started dropping drastically in school. Eunyoung, Siyeon and Jaehyun were there for her initially, offering her some comfort. She had gotten better on the surface with their company.

But the moment she drew the line and ended the friendship with the group, she found her self-esteem issues coming back. It was always stuck in Chaekyung’s mind like poison, that she was not worth anyone’s attention and care. She constantly thought that no one would be there for her no matter what, and that she was alone in to go through life. The people she once thought would stay, she was no longer speaking with them, much less even to trust them to stick through with her again.

Chaekyung was lost, running through the forest, with the shackles around her ankles becoming heavier and heavier with every memory of her past coming back to her mind. She was tired from running alone, tired from putting up a façade in front of her family, school mates and teachers that she was fine. She was tired from stressing herself overly to live up to the expectations other had of her. She felt that no matter how hard she tried, how much effort she put in, no one would ever be proud of her, and no one would ever place her as a priority. She could no longer believe that she was of any importance to anyone’s life around her.

Chaekyung gradually came to a stop in her arduous journey through the forest in her mind. The shackles around her ankles in her psychological state were finally too heavy for her, keeping her from running. Chaekyung collapsed in the middle of the forest, with all the familiar faces of the people she once knew, the people she once loved, all overlooking her as she sat down on the ground staring into blank space. Chaekyung’s eyelids started to get heavy with the stares of all the imaginary figures of her once-friends and stress, and her conscious mind started drifting away. She had given up on all hope, and she simply could not go on any longer…

“JUNG CHAEKYUNG! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” Chaekyung’s eyes shot right open with someone real screaming at her. The voice belonged to a classmate by the name Kim Jongdae. He was the school angel; he was one of the top scoring students on examinations, teachers loved him and he was warm and kind to every single person around him. Chaekyung was never close to him in class, never speaking with him except for the occasional nod when they meet along the hallways. She looked towards the source of the voice and found Jongdae sprinting towards her with a worried and anxious look on his face.

As Chaekyung looked down at her two hands, she realized that she had a pen knife in her right hand, and she brought the blade close to her left wrist. Had Jongdae been a minute later, Chaekyung would have done something irreversible. She unknowingly attempted to take her own life, with her mind full of thoughts. Chaekyung dropped the pen knife in shock. Sure, she knew that she was stressed out and tired, but she was unaware of her dire situation.