Jonghyun comes to visit me late that evening, and his face is puffy and red. His eyes are swollen. His arms are bruised. He sits down at my base, leaning against my trunk. He is too weak to climb up my branches. I can see how hard it is for him to breath; how the tears choke his throat.

“N-namu-ssi,” he says to me in a small, broken voice. “All the other children have parents who give them good food and hug them and tell them that they’re beautiful and they’re so proud of them,” he says, drawing his knees up to his chest. “Wh-why doesn’t my umma tell me all that?” he asks, resting a cheek on his knees. “It’s probably because she isn’t proud of me, right? All I do is hurt her and make her sad.” He says, in such an assured voice. A soft breeze blows through the park and Jonghyun’s soft hair ruffles. “She cries every night, namu-ssi,” Jonghyun whispers, voice thick with tears. “Is it because she drinks so much during the day? Sometimes if I drink too much water, I have to pee for a really long time to get all the water out. Maybe umma can’t pee so she cries?” he wonders, rocking back and forth. “B-but when I feel really sad, I feel like crying; does umma feel sad every day? Is that why she cries?”

His stomach lets out a whale-mating cry and Jonghyun presses a hand to his stomach.

“I’m hungry, namu-ssi.” He says. “I’m hungry and my body hurts, and I want to sleep, but-” he breaks off and stares into the distance. I can practically feel his mind working. “-Kibummie told me not to fall asleep like that, so I won’t. I won’t sleep, because Kibummie doesn’t want me to sleep.”

He says this even as his eyelids droop, even as he leans heavier on me.

Suddenly, he stands up, and runs out of the park and back into his house, and he is gone.

I am lonely again.

Kibum brushes a thumb against the bruise on Jonghyun’s cheekbone the next morning. “Why does your mother hit you?” the younger boy asks.

“She doesn’t like me.” Jonghyun murmurs. “She hits me because she doesn’t like me.”

“Why wouldn’t she like you?”

“Because I’m a good-for-nothing,” Jonghyun says, lifting his big eyes to Kibum’s.

“No you’re not,” Kibum scoffs. “Your mother is a good-for-nothing.” he says firmly. Th