Hi 

I'm Violet Shining. 

I'm new to here so I would be glad if you support my fictions :)

And I'm sorry for my bad English :(

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It was a dark night on October 1975.

I remember how cold and frozen the city was.

It was me...walking with an half burned cigarette between my lips. 

It was him...walking beside me and mumbling.

« I hold my cigarette with my hand and look at him who frowns so bad.

- are you okay?

He grabbs my cigarette and puffs: I am.

We keep walking.  It's 1:46 am. It sounds like the city is asleep .  The Silence _that killing cold silence _ is swimming in the air. 

He is tired. But I know he never confess. I know him better than himself. 

" you know my mom always says you must anticipate the worst things so that when something bad or worse happens,  you're glad it's not the worst." He finally starts speaking  freakly.

"and you know you don't have to follow me, right?" i smile. 

He shrugs. 

" why are you following me Kim jongin? " i ask 

- cause I...like you?

Another cigarette. "that's not my answer."

- yes it is. I don't want you to hurt.

" I don't hurt. I'm 23." I sigh. 

"well...maybe I'm your guardian."  He grabbs my hand
and put it into his pocket. 
I don't care... no longer I don't care . 
since that horrible day which I saw her suffering.  I saw her for the last time.  she was in pain, but smiling.  she held my hand and told me that she's not gonna leave me anymore.  she said she's sorry because of every ing moment that we spent.  and I said it's okay. I wasn't confident.
I never loved her...and she never understood. 
" you wanna be in that annoying silence for ever?  seriously?  " He asks childishly. 
my hand in his pocket is getting warm.  but my wrist is in a bad position and it hurts. so I get it off.
" Kim jongin?" i whisper.
" yes? " 
"Do you love her?...your..mother?.." 
He pipes down for some seconds. 
" ofcourse I do. why are asking me?"
" let it go. "
I'm not gonna tell him anything about my feelings about my mother.  
I stand in the front of him.
" I guess you better go."
He frowns lightly.  "you sure? I mean you don't look confident and I can stay here with you...I..I..I mean I'm okay!" 
i mess his cute hairs. " I bet you're mom has already missed you nini."
" i can call her don't worry...in addition,  I'm not a nini, moody cat!"
i laugh. "in addition?!  why do you speak like that?" 
i open the door and waiting for him to enter my home. 
" I wanna be a news reporter anyway. " He says confidently. 
I lock the door. "lights up." he whispers.
I take off my jacket. 
" jesus! it's a home or a trashbin? " He asks.
" your room is cleaner?"
" well... I don't think so. "
she was my classmate. she was beautiful . and I never thought someday she can touch my life like this. but she did.
"Oh Sehun!" He shouts.
I look at him confusedly. " yes?"
" what are you deaf?"
i shrug.
he takes the teapot from me and cuddle my hands kindly. " That wasn't your fault.  She was sick. Don't blame yourself, Ok?"
i stare at him, his beautiful dark eyes, his lovely smiles; trying to smile -like him- but I can't. So I just sigh and leave myself in his warm hug.
He continues to cuddle me. "Everything will be fine. everything will be fine."
"promise?" i ask...and I don't know why I'm asking this. 
" promise. "
" can I ask you something? "
" sure."
"Can you dance for me?"
now,  on this moment,  he's dancing for me.
I'm thinking about her. That was a usual night. She asked me if I can meet her. And I said yes. when I saw her, she was smiling,  but a strange smile. We were in the crowd and she started shouting unexpectedly! I couldn't understand why she's doing this. she was just keep shouting without no reason . And...and...I was shocked. What could I do? I just tried to calm her down and come back home.  So I told her I love her so much  but she was going crazy and she laughed like the insanes suddenly and I...I...
Ah...now, on this moment,  he's dancing for me and I have a hard headache. He's wonderful. 
I stand up and taking his hands. "Come with me." 
...
We're in my room; laying down on my bed.
his head is on my chest.  Suddenly I find him so strange. Suddenly I find him MINE. 
" I lied her." I whisper. 
"What?" 
" I lied her. I told her I love her but...I didn't."
He pushes his head into my chest ; Right on my heart. " I thought she was your girl. I...I was so jealous. " 
"Jealous?" I smile.
He returns to me. " What do you mean you lied her?"
Can I tell him?  Finally? 
" I lied her cause she was going crazy and she was shouting in the crowd and I was embarrassed and...I deplored her. Do you understand jongin?  I deplored her! She was sick. and finally when I  said I don't think I can love her, She...She was sick already,  wasn't she?"
he's silent." please... please say something!"
 I beg him in my mind.
But he's not gonna speak.
" Don't you wanna...talk to me?" i ask nervously. 
after some long minutes, he shows me that he's alive! "Why you didn't try to love her?"
" I couldn't. " I answer quickly. " I couldn't ; I didn't want to be a liar. I didn't want to hurt her anymore.  I didn't want to be a tricker. I...I.."
/I loved you!/ I complete my sentence in my mind.
" You loved someone?" He asks. 
Wow! He's a conjurer! 
The Window is open. A kind of sneezy airflow comes inside the room. I put my nose on his hairs. I smell him. That's amazing.  
" You played her wrong....She's dead." He whispers.  His voice is flickering. 
"That was just a bad dream."  I say as I'm kissing his hairs. 
My shirt is getting wet. He's crying. Why I can't cry anymore? 
No longer I don't care ... Since that day...that ing day. She was smiling.  She said that she's not gonna leave me anymore.  Why she couldn't believe that I was just a...liar?
"Oh Sehun?"  
" Yes nini?"
"Can I ask you something?" 
"Sure."
He returns to me; Staring at my eyes. His eyes are a little red. " Don't play me wrong."
I can hear the sound of rain. I can hear the sound of our soleness.  
The sneezy airflow pushes me to him. my lips slips on his lips. A bad dream...It was just a bad dream. And I'm not gonna renew it.»
It was a dark night on October 1975. 
It was him...sleeping in my bosom.
It was me...thinking about the sneezy airflow. 
______
The End