You let your heart melt as he smiled sheepishly after singing. He blew his hair away from his eyes and smiled widely for a bit before he let his tongue out. You rolled your eyes as you feel your heartbeat doubled–or even tripled–as the crowd let out deafening screams. ‘Such a tease’ you mumbled to yourself as you let your heart sink in jealousy, if it hadn’t completely melted earlier. You sighed and walked away from everyone, reminiscing how your heart was captured when you first saw him play & sing with his band when you were a freshman.  

It’s been a year now. You unconsciously pouted when you thought about it’s a new school year. New students; another bunch of girls will start dreaming and trying to get ‘his’ attention. It’s not like you’re trying to get it, too. Ever since, you’ve been just contented with every glance you steal from him; sometimes–you’d even stare. You always look away, though. Afraid that he’ll catch you staring. Why would you even dream in the first place when you know he’s out of your league? Right, because it’s just a dream. Dreams are just dreams. But truth be told, he’s out of anyone’s league. He’s always been the top of his class, he’s popular, talented and he’s even in a band. But you? Oh, a simple sophomore who doesn’t even fix her hair or even wear makeup. You always let your hair down, sometimes tie it in a messy bun.

In a café, where you’re always at, you’re seated beside your friend who’s busy stalking Jae, Brian’s (your crush) best friend and bandmate. You glanced at her and put your attention back to your notes when you heard her contain her squeals and the next second, she grasped your arm and started shaking it. She pursed her lips when you threw a death glare at her, she’s pointing at something–someone. You let out a sharp breath and rolled your eyes away from her to what she’s trying to point. You felt your heartbeat raised and stopped at the same time--if that’s even possible. Brian and his friends are now seated on a table beside the glass window. You looked away and stared blankly at your notes. Your friend hissed at you for doing so.

“Could you please stop looking away every time?” she asked before staring back at Jae. “Hey” she nudged you “Go stare at Brian and count to three”. You didn’t want to but she’s so persistent so you gave up.

You tried to calm yourself–somehow–and did what your friend told you. One. Two. Three. Your eyes widened when it met his. You felt like the world stopped together with your heart and you didn’t realize you were holding your breath until you ran out of it. You winced at your friend’s squeals. She told you to do it again and you don’t really wanna dare to do so but she always wins. So again, you fixed your eyes at him and started counting. One. Two. Three. You just want to disappear at that very moment when again, your eyes met. He even has this playful smile plastered on his face. At your surprise, your friend shrieked and you just want to curse using 50 languages. You shoved a doughnut in . She grabbed the glass of water to stop herself from choking. She tried to compose herself, so do you.

'I am never gonna do this 'count to three’ game again’, you thought to yourself as you stared blankly at your friend who closed the space between you. “Once is a coincidence, twice is not”, she teasingly said as she wiggled her eyebrows. You let out a breath & rolled your eyes.

'It’s not like it’s really not’ you tried to contradict her in your mind but you know deep inside, you’re hoping that it’s really not. But we’re talking about Kang Younghyun here. He winks and throw hearts to random girls. He’s popular, duhh! Of course, that meeting of the eyes meant nothing.

Months passed and you forgot about it. Tried to. But your friend always reminds you of it and tries to open that little ray of hope you’ve been trying to shut. It’s never meant to be opened.

“Oh! He’s a pandora! His love is a box of pandora!” Your friend sang along with Brian’s band, changing she to he and her to his. Of course, she’s implying something. You ignored her and fixed your ears to Brian’s voice and the rest of the members’. You closed your eyes and appreciate their music, their voices, their talents. You flipped your eyes open from sensing someone’s eyes are on you but as you scanned the crowd, all eyes were on the band. You sighed and shook your head. You, once again, directed your gaze back to him. He’s playing freely, dancing to the beat, swaying his hips, you smiled. 'He really loves what he’s doing’ you thought. He scrunched his nose and let out his tongue for a second. Moments after, he winked. You felt a pang in your chest. 'Yeah, that’s Kang Younghyun. That’s Brian’. You let out a surrendering sigh. 'He’s the type of guy who unconsciously lead girls on.' You ran a hand through your hair as you thought about how kind and sweet he is to everyone--always wave at people, smile at them as he scrunches his nose. You bit your lower lip as you dragged your friend.

“Let’s grab something to eat and check the other booths” you excused. It’s the school festival anyway. 

Couple of hours after, you walked back to the bench where you left your friend a little while ago, with cotton candies in both hands. You slowed down half way as you got a glimpse of a familiar figure with his bass guitar strapped around his right shoulder. He was smiling as he was talking to his friend. Your throat dried and your feet seemed to forgot how to take a step when he turned his head and his gaze instantly locked on you as if he knew you were there, and he wanted to take a glimpse of you. His smile turned into a grin. You blinked once--twice. You looked away and at last, your feet remembered how to walk. “Once is a coincidence. Twice is not”, your friend’s voice echoed in your head. You carefully turned to look at him again and his eyes were still fixed on you. His head was tilted as he simper. Amusement was evident on his eyes. You brushed it off and continued to walk toward your friend. 'That was nothing. That’s normal to him’.

But does that “normal” mean seeing his name in your messages on twitter? You dropped your phone as your knees dropped on the floor. You’re home now. The message was sent 4 hours ago. Your eyes widened in realization, that was the time when he was looking at you, wasn’t it?

Gotcha ;) the message says

If your heart didn’t flip, then maybe it was dropped on the floor, too. But what’s surprising is how did he know your account? Does he even know your name? You didn’t follow him on twitter, and vice versa. So how in the world? You tried to shrug it off as your received another message.

Why u turned away tho?

If you hadn’t dropped your heart earlier, now you’re sure you just did. Your throat is dry. Your knees are week. Are you still even breathing?

Oh.. Are u shy bcos I caught u looking?

Your jaw dropped and you’re wondering how many hearts do you even have because you dropped your heart again. With fingers shaking you mustered up the courage to click the see-no-evil-monkey emoji. You didn’t know what to say, and still don’t. Part of you hopes he won’t reply, another part hopes he’ll do. And you felt a race in your chest, which started for quite awhile now, as another message from him was sent. You bit your lower lip as you thought how fast he replies.

First time seeing me staring at u?

You took a gulp as you tried to process 'staring’. He called it 'staring’ and not just merely 'looking’.

Uhm…I guess?

Why was he asking, though? No, why is he even DM-ing you?

Actually, no. :)

It caused you to arch your eyebrows in confusion

“Uhh?” was all you could say. Not to blame yourself, though. You just really don’t know what to say or how to even react.

That’s just the first time u caught me staring at u

You swear you just felt your heart did a back-flip with what he said. You remembered what happened in the cafe as your friend’s voice echoed in your mind again. “Once is a coincidence. Twice is not” That means…? It was not?

Come to think of it… It’s the second time u caught me

You raised a brow and asked what he was talking about

At the café where you’re always at

Your hands are still shaking as he answered the question in your head. But wait… 'You’re always at’. You took a gulp and asked if he knew that you’re a regular there.

I’m a regular too.

But I don’t usually see you. Just sometimes with your friends

Because u always face ur notes

Your mouth made an 'o’ shape as you felt your cheeks heat up. These are too much to handle.
The 'stare’ was already too much. And this dm is another thing. Now he’s talking about all of these?

Am I…creeping u out?

Im sorry

U still there?

He asked because you didn’t respond.

No. It’s just… Too much to handle?? I guess?

May I call you?

 To say you were shocked is an understatement. You clenched your phone on your chest. You shrieked and started kicking in the air as you started rolling over back and forth on your bed, too.

You’ve never typed your own phone number so fast not until he asked for it. You mentally slapped yourself. ‘You seemed so interested! Get a grip!’ You tried to breathe calmly but your heartbeat is so wild. You once again rolled over your bed, shrieking, and fell off when your phone rang. An unregistered number showed up on your screen but you’re sure who was on the other line. You cleared your throat and practice saying ‘Hello’ before picking up the call but no word, even one, came out.

It also took him a little while before mumbling “Hi”. You tried to keep it cool but your voice betrayed you when you responded.

You always hear his voice but hearing it like this, knowing the words from his mouth right now are just for you and only you can hear, is just so overwhelming. Or maybe it’s even still an understatement. You’re still in a panic but somehow your heart finds comfort in his voice.
He apologized for the things he’s been doing, like staying at the café because you’re always there. Little did he know, you kept on coming there with a glimpse of hope of seeing him, too and ended up loving to stay there. You both finally got comfortable and talked for quite awhile. Even laughed with each other like it isn’t your first phone call. He was like doing an indirect confession that he likes you, but you just don’t want to keep your hopes up. As you said to yourself, he’s the type of guy to lead girls on without knowing it himself. Oblivious. But he just told you about him always looking at you and you wondered why all this time you haven’t seen him look at you even once. Not until that “count to three” game. You shut your eyes and curbed yourself from squealing.

“You looked peaceful earlier” you raised a brow and chortled with what he said, asking what does he mean “While everyone was so hype, singing with us, you’re just standing there, closing your eyes, smiling like you’re–” your eyes widened and cut him off

“W-what?!”

You heard him chuckle while you remembered the feeling of having someone’s eyes on you. That was him? But he wasn’t looking when you flipped your eyes open.“You’re gonna come listen tomorrow?” He asked after some random chit chats.

“You guys are playing again?”

“Yup. We’ll play Eyeless” You whispered to yourself 'favorite’ when you heard the title “I–I actually wrote that at thé cafe while you’re busy with your notes.” You heard him clearing his throat carefully as if he’s trying for you to not hear. When you said yes, you pictured him smiling brightly from ear to ear, all white teeth are showing and his nose scrunching. You were just about to mutter how he is an epitome of the sun or even perfection itself. Good thing your mouth didn’t betray you. You talked for a little more before finally calling it a day.

“Goodnight, Brian” A thousand of butterflies flew in your tummy, all your blood rushed up to your cheeks and fireworks blew in your heart when you heard him say your name (he knows) after he said goodnight. And you thought that was all for today but a text came

Next time u catch me looking, dont look away. Even if u’ll do, I’d still be looking at u when u try to look back. Goodnight ♥

You beamed and mumbled to yourself “Once is a coincidence, but twice is not, huh?”. You bit your lower lip hard before you heaved a sigh as you carefully close your eyes hoping these are all not a dream.

--

There's a sequel to this: Once is enough. Twice is too much

Hi, I would really like to know your thoughts about this story. Please leave a comment. Much love. 💙