January 1 (4:58 am)

Happy New Year?

It's January 1st, 4:58 am and I've decided to make you a letter early in the morning because I couldn't think of ways on how to fall asleep after our very first ual activity of the year. I don't plan on just telling you sweet n' cheesy nonsense and give you reasons on why I love you so so much, but I plan on telling you the things that will make you love not only me but yourself too. I'll be writing here on my phone instead of snapping my emotions and frustrations on snapchat or instagram so I do hope that you will appreciate all this because I'm lazy and I'm typing on a Monday morning and my head is pounding because I drank too much alcohol from the party last night.

I'll start by telling you stuff that I wanted to tell you back then since I don't give a anymore if I ever embarrass myself because I certainly know that I'm going to regret not telling you before we're going to break-up (which I hope will never happen to us). So you might wanna laugh or smile or whatever but who cares? LOL I love you.

Last year, I had a big crush on you for some reason that I honestly can't really remember and I'm frustrated because I couldn't tell you even if I wanted to (I think I forgot those memories/reasons maybe because now that I'm yours & you're mine ♡). There was a time when me and my groupmates in chemistry class would talk about our frustrations (you were my frustration during that time because I was jealous of all the ty es who would swarm over you during lunch time). Everytime you would pass by our classroom, my groupmates would all look at me with suggestive glances and tease me to the point that I could feel my stomach tumbling. Back then, I would just whine & cry while I burry my head on my desk while Luhan would comfort me with a pat on my back.

I also remember the time when Kyungsoo told me that he also had a crush on you. We were having a break during one of our singing rehearsals last year and we were playing a game wherein I had to guess who Kyungsoo's crush was. You were the very last person in my mind and I was quite surprised when he said that it was you. Because of that experience, I tried my best to get over you by forcing myself to fall in love with other people like Taeyeon, Kai and other ty people. But surprisingly, doing all this led me to become needy of you. It really hurt me when I heard that you and Kyungsoo became a thing but I pretended to be fine with it because I didnt want to show you the pain that I felt inside of me most especially during the times when you asked me to make sure no one catches both of you making out at the back of the school.

I'm not trying to tell you my story and . I just wanted to make sure that you somewhat know what happened to me back then when we were not yet together. Please don't pity my past because the fact that I acted as if everything was alright and hid many things from you just makes every bit of it annoying.

I currently don't know if I'm half-awake right now but I'm one-hundred percent sure that I am crying because of all this memory lane . I'm still on our shared bed, watching you sleep while you loudly snore beside me and I'm sobbing because I now remember everything. Even if I drank too much last night, I remember every single sincere feeling I have for you and I don't know if that's normal.

That's enough for today because it’s a Monday morning and my head hurts so, I think I'll write tomorrow again. I love you so much Park Chanyeol, and you have no idea how much I do.

Love,

Baekhyun

A/N:

huhuhuhu sorry for all the wrong grammar/typos (if there are any) i get sleepy sometimes  :( 

ok im ded and i can feel this fic slowly turning into trash   t(︶︹︶ t )   

and omg guys i just watched moana huhuhuhu i luv her soooo much  :>

thats all!! bye~~~