Chapter 16
Chasing RainbowsSong Recommendation: Beautiful Tomorrow - Park Hyo Shin
Jungkook.
It would be a lie if I said I wasn't jealous when I walked into Seokjin and Yoongi's shared room seeing Seokjin clutching onto Yoongi for deer life as he slept. I knew the two of them were close in an unromantic sense, but I can't help be jealous at how comfortable Seokjin always seemed around Yoongi compared to how he was with me.
I seemed to have awoken Yoongi when I entered the room, since motioned to be quiet while he gestured to the sleeping Seokjin. It was the morning after the party, after Seokjin and I had our little... 'Make out session'
Yoongi removed Seokjin's plastered hands from his body and placed them gently on the bed. He stirred a little bit obviously interrupting his sleep. Yoongi and Seokjin were both light sleepers, which is probably why they matched so well as roommates.
"Be gentle with him." Yoongi said to me, giving my shoulder a pat and then exited the room, but not before giving Seokjin one last glance.
Seokjin groaned a little, squirming in the bed, his hands were searching for something, probably Yoongi's warmth. I slowly slipped into the spot which Yoongi once held and Seokjin's hands immediately found their way around my waist, his nose nuzzling into my chest, when all of a sudden he stopped moving.
Through small squinted eyes Seokjin looked up at me and gasped. He jolted awake and moved to the furthest corner of the bed. It hurt a little, but I brushed it off.
"Where's Yoongi?" He whispered. Another knife went through my heart.
"He left a while ago." I answered calmly.
"What are you doing here?"
"I just wanted to talk to you hyung," I wondered if he could sense the desperate tone in my voice. I knew I wasn't imagining it last night when our lips pressed against each other, I knew I wasn't the only one who imagined the electric sparks, which coursed through my entire body. If it wasn't for the phone call, we would've gone much further.
"There's nothing to talk about Jungkook." He responded.
"Yes there is, we need to talk about what happened last night Seokjin." I rebutted.
"Nothing happened last night." He pursed his lips slightly.
"Hyung," I begged, "Please just hear me out..."
"Jungkook, it was a mistake. Forget about it." I stopped breathing. A mistake? So I was the only one imaging the sparks. I was the only one in love. After all these years of chasing rainbows, I finally thought that I had found the pot of gold. The rejection overwhelmed me. I knew that life doesn't always have a happy ending and things weren't always like Disney movies which Seokjin adored so much, where the Princess and Prince would end up together in the end.
But I had always hoped that maybe someday Seokjin would love me back, even if it was brief, I never thought I would get rejected so outright. The emotion was taking over me and everything I'd held in for years felt like it was bursting out from my heart.
"Seokjin I love you." My voice cracked, I never got to say it to him directly, I couldn't tell if it felt good or painful finally being able to express my feelings for him. My eyes were glistening with tears, but I had to hold it in, I had to show Seokjin I wasn't the same kid he met years ago, I had to show him that I was being sincere with my emotions, show him that I could be the one to protect him and be the shoulder for him to cry on.
"Kookie..." Seokjin leaned forward cupping my cheeks into his hands, it looked like he was trying to hold his tears in as well. "You can't love me."
"Why can't I love you?
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