A/N: I haven't edited this properly but it's fine as it is I think.

“Let’s take a break”

The younger had finished the mouthful Daehyun had fed him and the words tumbled from his soft lips only a moment later. He lay his hands on the table before him, his own empty bowl pushed to the side. His eyes would not meet Daehyun’s questioning gaze.

“W-What?”

A heavy sigh left Youngjae’s mouth and he reached up a hand to scratch the side of his head. Once satisfied, he dropped it back to the table with a near-silent thud. “I think we should take a break. Let’s take some time to think about us” An awkward pause overcame them, the sound of the city nightlife serving as a background noise as it drifted through the open window. “…let’s take some time to think about our relationship”

-

It had been easy to see that the end was near. The way Youngjae's voice slowly grew monotone, how he became more attached to his phone than conversation, and the slamming of doors in their final weeks. All of it lead to a sour ending. This break was their only chance. At least, that's how Youngjae painted it to be. A few weeks of dull grays would soon become a masterpiece of wild colours and a flourishing love. All they needed was time. 

Daehyun was left wondering why. Why had they come to this? Why? When they had been so happy, how had it deteriorated to this? Why was he crouched on the sidewalk, phone pressed to his ear and tears streaming down in his face as he silently begged Youngjae to answer. Why, when only a week earlier he had been lying in Youngjae's lap and stealing occasional kisses during the night?

Three calls later, he heard a dull 'hey' on the other end and he hurried to wipe away his tears. 

"Youngjae. Please don't do this." Daehyun ran a hand through his hair as he begged. "Please, please. I don't want to be apart from you."

"I already told you to stop calling me." The indifference in Youngjae's tone was clear, and Daehyun could picture the bored look the other would be wearing to accompany it. "I don't want to see you."

"Youngjae, no, please listen t-" The younger hung up and Daehyun was left with wet cheeks and an aching heart. The pain only worsened with each sob that left him. "Youngjae..."

-

One week and Youngjae had blocked Daehyun's number. Two weeks and Daehyun was borrowing his friend's phone, drunk calling the one he loved so dearly. Three weeks and Daehyun was at Youngjae's doorstep, begging to be taken back only to have a door slammed in his face. One month and Daehyun decided it was futile; Youngjae would come back to him in time, he only needed to wait. 

Two months and Daehyun was beginning to think Youngjae had forgotten him as he sat on the near empty train carriage. He clutched his phone tightly while his eyes scanned over the messages he had sent to the younger that had gone unanswered. He couldn't call Youngjae, despite wanting to hear his sweet voice. He was so terrified Youngjae wouldn't answer and he would be left trying to convince himself that the other was sleeping. All he ever had on his mind was Youngjae. Paranoia ate away at him, the frightening thought that the person he loved had decided to abandon him was haunting. Youngjae seemed to have forgotten his existence entirely. 

Daehyun used to love thinking about Youngjae. He used to lie in bed, wondering if the other was sleeping, and if he wasn't, was he up late playing games? Was he out with a friend? Was he thinking about Daehyun while trying to fall asleep? Yes, Daehyun used to love thinking about Youngjae. But these days, he felt his heart breaking apart when he thought of the way Youngjae had left him so suddenly. 

The train slowly came to a stop at the next station and Daehyun sighed as the doors opened to let in the cool night breeze. He shivered slightly, clicking his phone off. He swore he could hear Youngjae's laughter and he cursed at himself for being so caught up in the other. 

He looked away from the black screen, eyes slowly going to the couple that had walked onto the train, their hands interlocked tightly. He focused solely on their fingers as the walked to the seat opposite Daehyun, and he thought about how desperately he wanted to hold Youngjae like that. There his eyes remained until he heard the sound of his lover's laughter again, and his gaze shot up to find his very own Youngjae standing before him, a bright smile on the younger's face slowly disappearing. 

Youngjae...?

Neither spoke and they only stared at each other whilst Youngjae slowly sat down. Daehyun's eyes went to the younger's hand, interlocked with that of another man. 

-

It was mid-July when they first met and Youngjae took up a part time job to get him through the summer, mostly because he knew his parents were tired of him relying on them for financial support. Daehyun couldn't help but be taken by the new barista who dyed his hair a dark auburn just for the hell of it. They only worked together on Tuesdays, and when Daehyun finally picked up the courage to invite Youngjae to 'hang out', as he worded it, he was shut down with a rushed 'I have to get to my other job'. Then suddenly Youngjae was gone and Daehyun was left wondering what the job could possibly be. 

It was a month later and Youngjae quit because it was only a summer job. Instead of rushing to finish orders as quickly as possible, he was back to mathematical equations and literary essays. Daehyun sometimes missed the sweet smile Youngjae would give to customers, and sometimes he wished he hadn't felt a certain adoration towards Youngjae's melodic laughter. 

A year passed (or at least what felt like a year to Daehyun, but in reality was only several weeks) until he saw Youngjae again, now a customer at the place of his summer job. He was sitting by the window, across from a tall boy who wore a childish grin. Daehyun watched the younger's face light up every so often, and he wanted to be closer so that he could hear the giggles falling from Youngjae's mouth. He got a few drink orders wrong and his manager scolded him for it later.

Summer rolled around once again and Youngjae was back behind the counter, pumping out drinks as fast as he could. He now had two shifts with Daehyun, Tuesdays and Saturdays. There was a difference, Daehyun noticed, in which Youngjae rushed to leave on Tuesdays but moved languidly on Saturdays. He decided to ask Youngjae out on Saturday after their shift had ended and the younger gave him a tired smile before nodding his head. So they went to the closest cinema and Daehyun cherished hearing Youngjae's laugh even though others probably thought he was too loud. 

They went to the theatre often, even after Youngjae quit again. They became closer and Daehyun was glad the younger didn't mind the way he would sometimes bury his face into Youngjae's neck when he laughed. He himself wasn't sure why he did it, but he did, and touch was never awkward with them. They often placed their hands over each other's thighs, or even let their fingers brush when they walked side by side. 

It was early evening in the beginning of January when Daehyun had yet another unfortunate fall on the ice rink and Youngjae's laugh spilled from his lips like water from a tap, quickly and unstopping until it was cut off by Daehyun's hiss of pain. The elder wasn't mad, however. Instead, he felt himself falling in love with angelic giggles and ethereal smiles.

"Are you okay?" Youngjae asked, holding his hand out to the elder who grumbled under his breath. "That's your third fall. Do you need me to buy you lessons?" He teased but he kept his hold on Daehyun's hand, supporting him as he slowly skated forward. It was the first time they had properly held hands, and for once Daehyun was grateful that he had never been skating in his life. 

It was nearing the end of August when they went to see the new blockbuster and the weather forecast had been wrong. It was chilly and neither had brought jackets, so Daehyun shivered as he sat waiting for Youngjae to buy the tickets. It only took a few minutes before Youngjae was walking over to him, a box of popcorn in one hand and a large cola with two straws sticking out of it in the other. The tickets were oh so charmingly hanging from his lips, which Daehyun couldn't help but notice looked a little redder that night. He laughed when the younger sat down and gently pulled the paper out from between his lips. He didn't question the singular drink, merely murmuring a thank you as he reached for the popcorn. It was even colder in the cinema, and they pressed their shoulders together as if it would provide them with warmth. Slowly, Daehyun curled into Youngjae's side and even lay his head atop his shoulder. He heard Youngjae hum before the younger gently pressed his head against his own and neither of them made an effort to move for the remainder of the film.

They started dating in October after Daehyun couldn't help but kiss Youngjae's lips, deliciously stained red from the cherry popsicle. He was surprised that he had done it, but even more surprised when Youngjae's fingers worked their way through his brown locks of hair. And from then on, the shy smiles weren't so shy and the hesitations before touches disappeared completely. 

At first it was simple; gentle hand holding, soft kisses, warm hugs on each other's couches. The dynamics only changed in early December when Daehyun walked into Youngjae's apartment to the faint smell of smoke, the younger telling him the neighbours must have burnt something because he had only just started cooking. The windows were all open and the ceiling fan whizzed despite it being winter. Daehyun only smirked and walked over to Youngjae. He wrapped his arms around the other's waist, pressing his chest against the other's back. He was cooking ramen, the only dish he knew how. And even still, he never got it quite right. But Daehyun didn't mind; he couldn't cook either. He swayed slightly to the music that played in his mind and he pressed gentle kisses to Youngjae's neck. He ended up burning a second dish after they found themselves in the bedroom, ramen long gone from their minds and they indulged in passionate kisses. Daehyun laughed when the smoke detectors went off, Youngjae abandoning him among the mess of sheets when he ran to turn off the stove. Daehyun loved Youngjae's arms. He loved being encased within them, the younger's breath tickling the back of his neck as they shared a bed for the first time. Daehyun pressed his back into Youngjae's chest, desperate for the warmth the other gave on that cold night (the windows still open to rid the apartment of the smoke). He held tightly onto Youngjae's hand, fingers intertwined, and occasionally pressed feather-light kisses onto his warm skin. He decided his favourite place would be Youngjae's arms from then onwards.

It was a week later when he first told Youngjae he loved him, snowflakes glistening in the light of the full moon, yet Youngjae's eyes seemed to shine brighter. Youngjae curled his fingers around Daehyun's scarf and pulled the elder towards him, lips locking in a sweet kiss. The elder only just caught Youngjae's quiet murmur of 'I love you too'.

January 24 came around and Youngjae had to work a shift, so Daehyun waited for him on the bench in front of Youngjae's appartment building. He waited as the blue sky bled into orange, which slowly melted to black until finally Youngjae texted him that he was almost home. He opened the box that sat on his lap, a birthday cake he ware sure Youngjae would love. He slowly lit the candles and when Youngjae approached, he saw his favourite smile adorning the younger's soft lips. He himself beamed widely holding the cake towards Youngjae when he closed his eyes to make a wish. He thought he saw the slight hint of tears forming in the younger's eyes.

The last night that it remained a sweet romance was a monday in late February. They had sat in an ice cream parlour, starry eyes rarely leaving each other.

"I love you, you know?" Youngjae whispered, a sweet smile upon his soft lips before he pecked Daehyun's cheek. He placed his hands on the back of the elder's neck and drew him in for a long kiss, his thumb gently rubbing circles into Daehyun's smoothe skin. 

"I love you too" His smile was bright as he said the words in hushed tones, breath ghosting over Youngjae's lips. "I always will" He ran his hand though the younger's hair, admiring the soft tufts of brown and the way Youngjae's eyes shined under the fluorescent lights. 

Those same eyes which were filled with only anger and frustration the next day as he slammed a door in Daehyun's face and everything began to fall apart.

-

They soon found themselves here; staring at each other from opposite sides of the train carriage. 

Youngjae had dyed his hair black again, he noticed, and he didn't look so tired anymore. Daehyun sighed as the younger broke eye contact. The way Youngjae could glance away so easily- like they hadn't spent cold nights wrapped in each other's arms, like they didn't whisper I love you's, like they hadn't spent countless months together- made a fire rage within Daehyun. 

The man that sat beside his ex lover (Daehyun supposed that was what he was ought to call him now) leaned close to Youngjae and whispered something in his ear, lips gently brushing the skin. Daehyun's fingers curled into fists as he watched the way Youngjae laughed that same laugh he loved so dearly. Like this, he looked so bright.

Youngjae was pure sunshine, and Daehyun never believed sunshine could be held until his arms were around Youngjae's torso. Now he realised he had been burned by the sun, left behind with stinging scars and a bleeding heart. 

Youngjae briefly glanced in Daehyun's direction and the laughter died, much like Daehyun's heart. He watched as Youngjae awkwardly shifted and the man beside him noticed to, asking if he was okay. The younger smiled and said he was fine, letting his fingers be played with by Daehyun's replacement. He, who had curly hair and a toothy smile, pressed a gentle kiss to Youngjae's cheek. 

The train began to slowly pull to a stop and Daehyun stood. This was his stop, after all. Youngjae stared up at him yet he still didn't speak, and Daehyun merely rolled his eyes. He walked off the train, feeling Youngjae's eyes follow him but still nothing happened. He was left standing alone in a near empty train station, tears of frustration beginning to slide down his cheeks. He kicked a soda can onto the train tracks, and muttered "Congratulations, Youngjae. You're amazing". 

I always loved you more.
 

A/N: thank you so much for reading. I'm sorry for the rushed ending but I just couldn't think of anything else. I plan to write a sequel in the future, with a much happier ending.