Kim Jongin had always been beautiful. From the elementary school cutie to the high school hottie, Sehun had never been able to take his eyes off of him.

Yet, to him, "Kai" had always been more beautiful. People may have seen it as just another pen name, but to Sehun, it was a representation of his writing, and the pain in Kai's words, the tragedy that he could bring alive, and the way that his words spun pictures in your mind, was the most beautiful. 

Jongin never had any pain in his life, so there was no reason for him to know what it was like to get his heart broken, or even be rejected. To the man who excelled at everything, the man who was loved fiercely, heartbreak was unknown. 

Yet, when he became Kai, and picked up his pen, he became a different person. Sehun wondered from where he brought the suffering, from where the most well off man on Earth found the pain of star crossed lovers, doomed couples, and the eternally best selling idea- lovers never meant to be.

It is easy to know of something you have never experienced yourself, yet to write about it and touch people's souls with experiences not yours was a talent he possessed. Poignant writing coming from imagination is often unheard of, yet Kai wrote of tears, when he had only laughed, sorrow, when he had only smiled, and tragedy, when he had only loved.

How, was a secret.

"Kai" was a secret, locked away in the Jongin that Sehun loved fiercely, and above everything else, all he wanted was to know him.

But Oh Sehun was jealous.

 Krystal knew Kai. As he punched away at his laptop, working on his newest novel, legs sprawled across Sehun's sofa, Krystal's head seemed to be permanently on his shoulder. Eyes fixed on his screen, she often stopped him and made grammatical corrections that he implemented immediately and plot suggestions that he debated with her before either going with her advice or sticking with his plan. Krystal's prowess over language was perfectly matched by Kai's prowess over emotion. The pair was perfect- and as they wrote tirelessly together, it was apparent. Krystal seemed to bring out the best in him.

"I bet he's inspired by his fiancée," Sehun rolled his eyes in jealousy and mumbled as he hurriedly cleaned up around them. As he cleaned, Sehun silently wondered if they had even booked a hotel to stay in, and whether the two most impulsive people he knew actually decided to travel on just a sudden whim. With no prior notice or planning at all, he had decided to bring them to his flat, and even if it was better than any hotel they could have booked, it was the characteristic filthy mess that most bachelors made of their homes. 

Finally after what seemed like ages, long after Sehun cleaned up his ginormous flat, the writer sighed and shut his laptop down. Krystal must have been just as tired but didn't let it show as much. Slowly, Jongin replaced Kai, and the serious expression he had on his face(which Sehun secretly found hot) changed to the goofy, tired smile that he had long fallen for.

"I'm sorry, Sehun-ah. If I don't finish at least one chapter per day, I won't be able to make my deadline." Jongin apologised, as he walked around, only now being able to appreciate the beauty of his current quarters.

Sehun brushed it off. If Kim Jongin was involved, he would always.

Krystal plopped down on the bed next to Sehun. The Paris sunrise was long over, but even against the afternoon sun, she looked beautiful. Her eyes were red from exertion like Jongin's, but she still smiled brightly.

"Coincidences are crazy, huh? I never thought I'd run into you here! We haven't talked in forever, but it feels like nothing has changed when I look at you, Sehunah." She smiled once again, putting the goddamn sun to shame. The jealous Sehun wondered if this was what Jongin had fallen for.

"Nothing has happened with me. No wonder it seems like nothing has changed." Sehun laughed. 

Jerking his head towards her, he added, "But, what about the both of you? How did you end up engaged?" 

There it went. He knew it'd break his heart. Still, there was the hope that continuous blows would eventually numb him."

I proposed to her, because I couldn't imagine my life without her," Jongin said, embarrassedly. 

First blow. I thought you loved me.

"The moment we split after high school, I realised how much I missed her by my side."

Second blow. Didn't you miss me?

"We started dating soon after graduation, and they've been the best ten years of my life."

Last blow. Ten years without me.

Jongin seemed oblivious to the shattering impact that every one of his words brought. It was Krystal, who butted in, because maybe she saw the pain on Sehun's face. Maybe she saw that the man from whom she snatched away his love was empty, because that was all he had.

"Stop embarrassing me, Jongin-ah." With a reprimanding look, she flicked his forehead. Leaving him with a red welt to nurse, she sat back down on the mattress, now pushing the famous Paris runway model to spill the beans on his side of the story. With glittering eyes, she prodded Sehun to tell the tale of how he ended up one of Paris' most sought after models.

"It's honestly not that big of a deal. I came here to visit some friends, right after high school and we went sight seeing around the city. I got scouted by a modelling agency and with some training, I began to walk the ramp in a month. Then, I began to get product modelling offers so I slipped off into the commercial side of things as well. And now I'm here." 

Sehun didn't really see the big deal in his achievements when compared to the world famous writer, "Kai", or the Cambridge English Literature professor, Dr. Krystal Jung/Kim, but apparently they did.

"SEHUNAH, YOU'RE SO TALENTED!" 

Jongin screamed with the sudden realisation of all of his friend's achievements in the time that they had spent apart. His eyes went round and his face was a perfect emoji.  "(　ﾟдﾟ)"

"TRAINING IN A MONTH?" 

Krystal screeched at the story, joining her fiancée with another comically surprised face.  "Σ（ﾟдﾟlll)"

"YOU GOT PICKED OFF OF THE STREET?"

Jongin still struggled to grasp how easily Sehun's charm and looks got him picked out of a crowd where thousands work tirelessly to that goal.  "(＞人＜;)"

"HAVE YOU ALWAYS BEEN THIS GOOD LOOKING?"

 Both heads turned immediately as they looked at him clearly, against the warm background of the sunshine. "W(`0`)W"

Sehun laughed. Maybe that was an understatement. He choked for breath and wiped the fast forming tears from his eyes. It wasn't the fact they were funny. They were far from that, but they made him happy. A weight that he didn't even know was burdening him seemed to disappear as he could finally replace the fake smile he wore since their arrival with the true happiness he wanted to show.

Jealousy washed away. Bitterness vanished. Joy replaced them. 

The KimJung pair hadn't changed. They made the gang laugh with their perfectly coordinated overreactions ten years ago, and they made him laugh ten years later. He was sure, ten years in the future, no matter how sad and morose he would be, a few words from them would make him light up. 

What a sorry state he had made of himself. His best friends were getting married. So what if he had now unrequited feelings for one? They loved each other, so it didn't matter if he was the one left out. Moreover, if they were capable of making him this happy, what a terrible person he'd be to not even try to do the same for them.

"Get ready. Screw your jet lag. We'll leave in 15 minutes. Paris needs some exploring, and guess which trio has the most time on their hands?" Sehun jumped up onto the newly waxed wooden floor with a start and with a grandiose gesture, stretched his arms out.

Krystal reacted first with a high pitched squeal. Her arms shot up into the air and her face lit up into another smile, probably even wider now. Running into his arms, she screamed, "I thought you'd never ask!" 

With a more composed reaction, Jongin smiled. Occupying the arm that Krystal left empty ever so graciously for him, Jongin once again was calmer, as he whispered, "You're truly smiling now. You're back to normal." Sehun sighed. Of course he had noticed.

Time whizzed past as the city's winding roads welcomed the sight seeing trio. The fiery afternoon sun had retired and a dusky glow descended on the city. Lights embellishing even the smallest of lanes justified one of the city's well known titles, and couples holding hands everywhere justified the other. Accompanied by a now practically local of the city, fluent in the language, Jongin and Krystal were led on a wondrous tour of the beautiful city under the mist of twilight.

Jongin was fascinated by every street-side café and every artist performing with a smile on their faces. Krystal was about to break down at the sight of the most beautiful artisan items on display, practically begging Jongin to go into every shop in sight. They fluttered around the innumerable stores like indecisive butterflies which were unable to decide on the best flower to nectar from, who eventually decided on all of them. 

Sehun was happy to see them happy. 

But, with a sudden look at a Jongin caught off guard, he caught a glimpse of a pained face. What? Was "Sunshine Jongin" capable of making an expression like that. Worried and intrigued at the same time, Sehun spied on him secretly once again, hid away in the shadows of the store they were at.

Jongin didn't notice Sehun staring as Krystal squeezed his hand, and for the first time since Jongin had landed in France that morning, he mumbled exasperatedly to his fiancée who seemed like she would cry. With tears in her eyes, Krystal seemed to be worriedly speaking to him, before she pulled him into a hug, but Jongin's eyes were unfocused and watery too. Breaking away quickly, he gave her a sad smile, and grasped her hand tightly once more. Spotting a Sehun who now feigned ignorance, Jongin broke out into a radiant smile once again. 

But, now that Sehun knew what to look for behind his "glad" mask, he could see it. Behind every glitter in Jongin's eye, every shriek of happiness at an inconsequential trinket, Sehun saw a sadness. He worked hard to mask it, no doubt, but it was easy for Sehun to look past the facade because who knew him better than the man who had spent every waking moment of twelve long years staring at him?

This sadness had to be Kai's secret. And Sehun would make sure to find out what it was.