The days after the funeral went by with Seungri in a grief-stricken haze. It was like he was stuck on autopilot. Every day was the same routine. He would wake up & wander into the kitchen & mindlessly eat tidbits of whatever he found & then he'd wander into the living room & sit in the floor & stare into space in the general direction of the tv, but he never remembered to turn it on. Then sometime around sunset, he would pour himself a glass of something from his stash of alcohol & spend the rest of the evening drinking until he nearly passed out. At that point, he'd stagger to the bedroom & collapse onto the bed & cry himself to sleep. 

 

     Through it all, Jiyong was always there. He never left Seungri's side. But after that first night, Ri didn't look at him anymore & he no longer responded when Ji spoke to him. Ji didn't know what had changed. He wondered if maybe Ri seeing him was just a one-time thing. 

 

     Still, he stayed. But as the days wore on, Ri never left the flat. Every day was just a repeat of the last & Ji began to worry. It seemed that Seungri was sort-of stuck. He couldn't move forward. And Ji didn't know how to help him. 

 

     Finally, one day Youngbae came to visit & to check on Ri. He pounded on Seungri's door for a good 5 minutes before Seungri even noticed. When he opened the door, Youngbae practically launched himself at the younger man. 

 

     "Oh, thank God, Seungri. I was about to call the police!" Bae said in an almost frantic voice. 

 

     Seungri said nothing, he just stood there & blinked at Bae with puffy, bloodshot eyes. 

 

     "You look terrible, Ri," said Youngbae as he stepped back & looked him over. "Actual pandas don't have anything on your dark circles. Are you getting any sleep?" he asked. 

    

     Ri mumbled something unintelligible & then shuffled off into the apartment. 

 

     "I'm so glad you're here, Bae," Ji said. "Maybe you can help. He's been like this for days. Weeks, maybe. I don't know. I don't know what to do for him." he said in a worried tone & glanced over his shoulder to see Ri sitting in the middle of the living room floor just as he had been before. 

 

       Youngbae stood by the door & took in what he could see of the apartment. Everything in sight was a complete wreck. Wine & beer bottles littered the table, dirty dishes were piled high in the sink, & the garbage obviously hadn't been taken out in some time. 

 

     "Yeah. I know it's bad," Ji said as Bae began taking off his shoes, "but you can help. Right? Please tell me you can help him, Bae." 

 

     Bae turned & walked right through him. It tickled, but Ji didn't laugh. He felt like crying. His best friend couldn't see him. Or hear him either, apparently. 

 

     Bae stopped between the kitchen & the living room, obviously unsure about where to begin. 

 

     "He hasn't eaten in a couple of days," Ji told him, having already forgotten that his side of a conversation was essentially blank to the other person. Speaking to Youngbae like this just came naturally to him. "I've tried to get him to eat something, but he just drinks instead." Ji said, looking worriedly toward Seungri, who still sat motionless in the middle of the room. 

 

     Bae walked over & sat cross-legged in front of Ri & laid a hand on his knee to get his attention. 

 

     "When was the last time you ate, Seungri?" Bae asked, & Ji's heart gave a little jump. 

 

     Bae couldn't see or hear him, but maybe Bae could still read his thoughts. There seemed to be some sort of connection there anyway. And it gave him a bit of hope. 

 

     "I don't know," Seungri mumbled . 

 

     "Well, you need to eat something," Bae replied, getting up off the floor. He glanced into the kitchen. "I'm not sure you have anything clean to cook with. I'll just order us something good & healthy to be delivered. How does that sound?" 

 

     Ri didn't respond, but Bae hadn't really expected him to. 

 

     Bae took his phone out of his pocket & called his favorite restaurant with delivery service. 

 

     "They said they'd be here in about half an hour," he said, sliding his phone back in his pocket. 

 

     Ri still didn't respond. 

 

     "I think I'll do some cleaning while we wait," Youngbae said conversationally as he rolled up his sleeves & prepared to do battle with the huge stack of dishes in the sink. 

  

     Bae had made a rather impressive dent in the pile of dirty dishes by the time their food arrived. He accepted the delivery & paid for the food. He eyed the empty bottles on the table for a moment before changing his mind about sitting there & simply carried the takeout bags into the living room & set them on the floor. He sat in front of Ri once again & dished out nice, big helpings of rice & chicken (because he knew that Ri loves chicken) & vegetables. He got Ri's attention & handed him the plate & a pair of chopsticks. 

 

     "Eat this, Ri. You need it." Bae commanded him. 

 

     And to Ji's amazement, Ri did eat. He ate every bite of the food that Bae had given him. 

 

     Once they were done eating, Bae cleared the leftovers away & placed them in the refrigerator. Then he came back & took Ri by the hand, & lead him toward the hall with Ji trailing along behind. 

 

     "Where are we going?" Ri asked in a dull voice. 

 

     "You need a shower, Bro." Bae said in a gentle, but teasing tone. "You smell worse than TOP-hyung's training shoes!" 

 

     Ji was delighted to see the tiny smile that comment earned. He'd begun to be afraid that he'd never see it again. Bae was definitely a ray of sunshine & Ji was so glad he was there. 

 

     Bae found Ri some clean clothes & ordered him to get in the shower. He then made his way back to the kitchen to resume his cleaning. 

 

     Ji climbed in the shower with Ri, wanting to remain as close to him as possible. He remembered the fun showers they'd shared before. Ok. So maybe not as fun as he'd have liked, but close enough. Things were different now, though, & he wasn't sure what he should do with himself. Ji stayed nearby, but didn't touch Ri as he stood with his back to him under the warm spray of the shower. As he watched the water droplets run across his panda's broad shoulders he saw them begin to shake & Ji's heart just cracked. He wrapped his arms tightly around Seungri & snuggled into his . 

 

     "It's ok, Ri. Don't cry, Baby. I'm here," Ji said softly. 

 

     Seungri choked out a sob so violent he nearly fell to his knees, but Ji held on tight & somehow they both managed to stay upright. 

 

     "It's ok. It's ok. It's ok," Ji chanted over & over again to him & began softly humming Strong Baby in a soothing tone. After a few minutes, Ri regained some of his composure & finished cleaning up. 

 

     Ji wasn't sure if it actually helped any or not, but he did his best to steady Ri as he got out of the shower. Ji was still afraid of shower puddles. Those things could be deadly. He was living proof of that. Or, well... Not living proof. Whichever. To Ji's relief, however, Seungri managed to dry off & get dressed with no mishaps. He looked more refreshed after his shower, but he still appeared exhausted.

 

     After getting dressed, Ri wandered back into the kitchen with Ji following close behind. Bae had just finished drying the last dish. The table was cleared & clean. The trash had been taken out & the windows were open, letting the clean air in. Ri heard a whistle & turned to see a teakettle steaming on the stove. He didn't even remember having a teakettle. 

 

     "Sit down. I'm making you some tea," Bae said. 

 

     Ri sat down at the table & soon Bae placed a hot cup of chamomile in front of him. 

 

     "Drink up!" Bae said. "It'll help you relax & sleep better." 

 

     "Thank you, Youngbae-hyung," Ri said, looking Bae in the eye for the first time that day. 

 

     "You are more than welcome, Ri" Bae replied with a smile & a hug. "I'm more than happy to help." 

 

     Later, after the tea was gone & everything was once again put away, Bae noticed Ri was looking rather droopy, so he suggested that he to go to bed & Ri obeyed with no argument. When Bae checked on him a few minutes later, he was happy to see Ri was already asleep.

 

     Bae smiled fondly. 

 

     "Goodnight, Maknae. I'll be back tomorrow," he whispered. 

 

     Ji followed Bae as was leaving. He wanted to thank his best friend for helping his panda that day. He knew that Bae could neither see nor hear him, but he decided to give it a try anyway. Maybe Bae could still read his thoughts. Just as it seemed he had earlier. 

 

     Bae was by the door putting his shoes on when Ji finally spoke up. 

 

     "Thank you for doing all this for Seungri, Bae. Tonight is the first time I've seen him fall asleep peacefully instead of crying himself to sleep like he has been lately. You made a difference today. Thank you," Ji said. 

 

     Bae didn't say anything. Or even look at him. But before he walked out the door, he looked back over his shoulder & smiled a bittersweet little smile. And Ji thought he saw the glisten of a tear in his eye. Then Bae turned around & was gone. 

 

 

 

 

*Author's Note:

 

     Hello, dear readers! It's been ages since I last updated this story. I hope you'll forgive me for that. This chapter has actually been sitting for a while. I wrote it, but didn't post it because this chapter takes the story in a sadder direction & I wanted to keep it on the lighter side. However, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't come up with anything else. My characters flat-out refused to work with me. Seungri needed to grieve. He was very intent on that. And in the end he won. 

 

     I confess, I considered letting the story end on the second chapter with Ji singing Ri to sleep with a silly children's song. That seemed better than delving into the dark waters of grief. Right? But my dear BekkiSpector threatened me with bodily harm if I ended it there. So here it is. Sadness & all. I hope you enjoy it despite the angst.