He's overreacting, he's sure of it.

and yet Hyunwoo feels himself become rigid as he roughly flips through the book. It was a smart leather-bound diary with textured paper. Hyunwoo had found it in a street market on one of his trips to India. The leather had a mandala carved into the cover and he instinctively thought of his then boyfriend. His husband had always had an infinite for things of beauty. 

Hyunwoo instincts had proved fruitful because Hoseok was overjoyed by the small token. His eyes lighted up as he his fingers traced the intricate pattern carved into the brown leather. Hyunwoo found his husband's childlike nature endearing. Hoseok could simply not be anything other than himself which didn't always work in his favour but Hyunwoo admired his sincerity.

He had bought the diary years ago when they were still courting and it had remained untouched. Hoseok had insisted he was keeping it for something special and until that special came along, the book was put on display in the reading room. So when Hyunwoo comes home early and decides to locate his passport, which is usually hidden in Hoseok's wardrobe, he's bewildered to find the notebook neatly sandwiched between folded shirts. Now, five years into their marriage, Hyunwoo thinks it's the first time he's seen the diary out of the reading room.

Had his husband finally found that special he was looking for?

Hyunwoo would hope not because the content of the diary snatched his breath away.

Woohyun Woohyun Woohyun Woohyun Woohyun Woohyun Woohyun Woohyun Woohyun Woohyun Woohyun Woohyun Woohyun Woohyun Woohyun Woohyun Woohyun Woohyun Woohyun Woohyun Woohyun Woohyun Woohyun Woohyun

That's all the book contained; written in different styles, different colours with some decorated with designs such as stars, hearts and swirls.

Each passing page pushes Hyunwoo further from his sanity. If his memory serves him well then Woohyun should be Hoseok's colleague who manages the branch in Hong Kong. He can't be sure though. Either way, it didn't matter because whoever's name it was had no place in his husband's treasured diary. So rationalising it was pointless.

Apparently so was his attempts to keep calm.

There must be some kind of misunderstanding, there has to be. Hoseok wouldn't.

His husband wouldn't.

Then why would he write that man's name all over the diary you bought for him?

Hyunwoo doesn't know.

Then why would he hide it in underneath his clothes? 

Hyunwoo doesn't know that either?

Who would he hide it from?

That one was obvious, Hoseok could only be hiding it from him.

Imagine what else he's been hiding?

No. Hyunwoo refused to delve deeper, the road was a long and dark one. He didn't know what would happen if he went down that path. Clutching his head in frustration, Hyunwoo willed the voice in his head to shut up.

Hoseok wouldn't. His husband wouldn't. 

His face is burning up and the room is a haze in his fury. Bathing in his hunger, Hyunwoo picks up the notebook and proceeds to the lounge. Placing it on the coffee table, he takes a seat on the sofa. Eyes trained on the door, Hyunwoo fights the losing battle against his demons. The 'what ifs' prove much too tempting. With each passing second, he feels his blood simmering, the temperature in the room becoming almost unbearable. 

The mere thought of his husband being unfaithful made Hyunwoo pressure go through the roof. He Had his fair share of being insatiable jealous during their college days but Hoseok had been nothing but faithful. For the sake of their relationship, he knew he had to give up his possessive tendencies. 

But for the first time, suspicion is warranted and Hyunwoo is on a war path.

He hears the beep of the lockpad and he swallows, his throat now tight and painful. Hoseok shuffles in, his leather laptop bag in one hand and a shopping bag in the other. He looks up and meets Hyunwoo's gaze, the door swinging shut behind him.

He smiles, blonde stray strands coming undone and Hyunwoo stills in the calm before the storm. Wordlessly, the blonde's eyes drop to the book on the table and Hyunwoo feels his heart break. Hoseok's eyes widen as his lips quiver.

This can't be happening, Hyunwoo thinks.

Eyes darting to the ground, Hoseok's breath visibly hitches.

Too transparent and it becomes too much for Hyunwoo to handled.

"Who the is Woohyun?" Hyunwoo growls as he jumps to is feet, all rationality abandoned in his rage.

It shakes Hoseok and Hyunwoo sees something akin to fear in his eyes. 

"No one," Hoseok mumbles as he drops the packets and beelines for the bedroom.

The utter lack of regard sets Hyunwoo off even more.

Like a bull, he charges into the bedroom after Hoseok.

"Hoseok," he warns as Hoseok turns his back to him.

"It's nothing, Woo," Hoseok mutters but still makes no attempt to face Hyunwoo.

"Are you lying to me?" Hyunwoo asks surprisingly calm.

Hoseok's silence proves to be the only answer he needs.

Roughly, Hoseok feels himself being swung around. Only then is he fully aware just how small he is infront of Hyunwoo. Instinctively, he reaches to rubs the ache away from his arm, there would most likely be a bruise there. Hoseok bruised easily. 

The Hyunwoo in front of him feels so foreign, the glower in his eyes sends chills down his spine but Hoseok is plagued by another kind of sadness.

There's a mix of fear and heartbreak displayed on Hoseok's face but Hyunwoo can't see through his anger. 

"Don't lie to me," Hyunwoo warns, his large stature nearing Hoseok.

Hoseok looks up at his husband in bewilderment, " It was just random. Why are you getting angry?"

"Lying to me again," the larger growls, stepping forward as Hoseok steps back. 

Desperately, Hoseok tries to formulate any kind of excuse but each has gaping holes through them. Hyunwoo can feel his desperation and it breaks his heart. 

How did this happen to them?

Through the red, Hyunwoo sees a lurking sadness in his husband's eyes. It breaks his heart further and anger disperses in favour of grief. 

Hoseok is mildly surprised by the gentle grip on his arms. Hyunwoo stares down him, his eyes wide and desperate. Whatever the truth was, Hyunwoo was not willing to let go of his husband. No, Hoseok could only be his.

"Talk to me," He whispers,"Tell me there's no one else. I nee-" 

"Oh my God," Hoseok gasps as his forehead hits against Hyunwoo's chest. 

Hyunwoo can feel the heat of Hyunwoo's breath through the layer of his shirt. He doesn't know what to do. Now that the anger has somewhat subsided, Hyunwoo is left to the full realisation of the matter.

His inner musings are halted when Hoseok warm palms push him away. Startled and at a loss of words, Hyunwoo watches as Hoseok's small frames falls helplessly on the bed. His lips quiver and Hyunwoo catches a small glimpse of the shame and pain in his husband's eyes before Hoseok brings his arms up to shield them. 

Even so, the tears slip past.

Padding carefully on the bed, Hyunwoo comes to his side. Hoseok allows his husband's strong grip pull him up and he leans comfortably into Hyunwoo's chest.

"Baby,"Hyunwoo cooes.

More tears slip and his voice cracks but Hoseok persists,"I thought if we had a son, we could name him Woohyun."

Oh, he was a fool. All previous thoughts are abandoned in favour of comforting his partner.

"Baby stop, we spoke about this?" he says assuringly.

They had spoken about it but fairly vaguely. They both had wanted to build a family but no solid efforts had been made. Hyunwoo knew it would be difficult but not impossible. 

"Hoseok," Hyunwoo says sternly,"Stop. We will cross that bridge when we reach it."

The blonde just sobs as he adjusts his neck. Hyunwoo takes the hint and releases his husband to allow them to shift into a more comfortable position. Being the little spoon was as good as it got for Hoseok. Pressed up against the warmth of husband, he could finally even his breath and think properly.

"I contacted two agencies," He confesses and feels Hyunwoo sigh into his hair.

When the older doesn't reply, he continues, " The two largest and trusted agencies, well that's what naver said but apparently, they are not of service to our kind."

Hoseok chuckles, their kind like they're some breed of animal.

Hyunwoo's arms and jaw tighten. He couldn't be loose with his words. He doesn't know how long Hoseok had been in this space, he needs to alleviate the situation. Especially after the royal up he had just committed.

"Baby boy, listen to me,"He speaks into the blood tresses," That doesn't mean anything. There plenty agencies out there and I'm sure there are some that would specialise in our case."

"What if it's not them, what if the actual mother who doesn't want two males raising her child," Hoseok confesses his greatest fear.

What if they come that close and have it taken away from them?

"Then it's her loss because we would have given her child everything. All the loving and attention in the world. My child would be short of nothing, not a single thing," Hyunwoo rambles and it brings a smile to Hoseok's lips.

"You would be a good father," Hoseok says absent-mindedly.

"So will you," he replies as he presses kisses into the blonde locks.

Sighing contently, Hoseok lets the warmth of his husband wash over him. They really should change and get under the blanket before they fall asleep but Hoseok can't bring himself to pull away from the bear's embrace. Hyunwoo was all taunt muscle that exuded heat no matter what season it was. 

"Babe," Hyunwoo calls out,"Why Woohyun though?"

Hoseok twists in his grasp and tries to throw the other an incredulous look,"You're joking right?" 

The elder just shakes his head dumbly.

"Cause," Hoseok says it like it's perfectly obvious," Woohyun. Hyunwoo. I just swapped your names around."

"Ooh," it makes sense now that he thinks about.

The look on his husband's face is too adorable. Hoseok squirms and rolls over so he can face his husband. The gentle bear looks like his thoughts are a million miles away and Hoseok doesn't want to interrupt. Instead, he buries himself deeper into the warmth and allows himself to drift elsewhere.

"Babe," Hyunwoo calls out again.

Hoseok just hums.

"I think I want a girl,"

Sleep quickly disperses and Hoseok blinks himself awake," Really."

He never thought about it, he just always pictured them would a son. A little boy that would take up swimming after his father or maybe taekwondo like his other father.

"Yeah. I was thinking Shinho," He says little shyly.

Hoseok ponders over it and when he gets it, he smiles into Hyunwoo's chest. Shin Hoseok. Shinho. 

Clever.

"It sounds a bit boyish. Maybe just shino," he suggests.

He wouldn't really mind a daughter either. She would have Hyunwoo wrapped around her little finger. A real daddy's girl.

"So Woohyun if it's a boy and Shino if it's a girl," Hyunwoo summarises.

Hoseok hums in agreement.

"Or both," Hyunwoo tests the water.

"Two?" Hoseok wonders out loud," Brother and sister."

Funny how adoption seemed almost impossible just moments ago and here they were thinking of adopting not one but two children. They could, Hoseok didn't see why not.

"But we adopt Woohyun first, so Shino can have a big brother," Hyunwoo reasons.

It was wishful. They didn't have that control. They were both eager for a newborn and if the mother agreed, they were going to accept the child no matter what the gender was.

Hoseok smiles widely at the thought, "Or we could have two boys and name them Shinho and Woohyun."

"It'll be funny if we get two girls," the older jokes.

Hoseok just rolls his eyes and snuggles closer, only then does he remember Hyunwoo accusing him of being unfaithful. A smart comment comes to mind but when he looks up, the big bear has already dosed off.

He'll let it slide. Hoseok is weak for his husband's sleeping face. Scratch that, Hoseok is weak for Hyunwoo in general.

He has to admit the entire ordeal had touched Hoseok. The way Hyunwoo had reacted to Hoseok's possible infidelities not only surprised him but greatly impressed him. Given his possessive tendencies during college, Hoseok thought his husband would just kill him if he cheated. The thought of Hyunwoo fighting for him warmed his heart. 

What amazed Hoseok the most is the way Hyunwoo literally dispelled all his demons with almost no effort. One moment he's a crying hopeless mess and next he's productively naming his future children. Life is funny like that Hoseok knows he's been blessed, his husband is an amazing person. Which why Hoseok would never understand the jealousy. Hyunwoo was all he ever needed. Child or no child, his heart was full.