"life's a b**ch, and then you die"

"HAHAHAHHAHAHA!, i can't believe he said that to the class." My friend Miles says.

"yeah, i know right?" i smile.

"So how's your new boyfriend? Hmmmmmm?" My best friend Jamie teases.

"Oh, we broke up." i say, chest throbing a bit.

"WHAT!" Rilly shouts, "but your so in love with him!"

"ahaha..." I finch a little, no one notices. "it's cool, there are a bunch of cuties in school," i lie casually.

The bell rings and we go on with the day,  school, go home, homework, sleep.

Everyday is plain and simple. I go through the day, unnoticed. By now, my looks are just a hint above average and my body has no curves because of lack of fat.

That is, until i got another boyfriend.

He was there for me whenever i needed something so we went out. a week later i found out he didnt like me at all and told everyone i pressured him into being together. I got a new boyfriend. we broke up after a month, he was cheating on me. I went through 3 guys in 3 monthes.

I was lonely at home. It sounds like excuses , but everyday i'd come home and think, 'will they ask about my day?' 'will they tell me to do my homework?'

I was bored at school. Once word got out that I dated a bunch of guys, all i heard were whispers of 'sl*t,' 'wh*re,' 'h*.'

It was my fault entirely. I was bored, and so i did something. It comepletely backfired.

i started to dress a little tier, i didn't care about school much anymore, i felt like back in elementary school.

if people put their self-esteem on a 1-10 chart, it would usually be 6-7. For as long as i can remember, mine has alway been 4. when i got a boyfriend it went up to 6. when we broke up, back down to 4, over and over. i think that might be why i got with so many guys so soon anfter another. i liked feeling like everyone didn't think i was a fat, ugly .

after that ended, one of my friends who i told just about everything to, stoped talking to us. then, she told her friend everything we said and lied to us about everything. Very few dramas.

I went back into habit.

I wonder if my life has any meaning to it, there is noting that excites me anymore. I wonder if people will miss me if i die.

On the last day of school, I told my best friend I loved her. more than a friend should. i cried because i knew she'd never love me back.

Everyone says that you're one in a million, but doesnt that mean that since there are 7 billion people in the world, there are 700 hundred others like you?

I guess no one is special anymore.