Part of me thinks that it's pointless to write this, but the other part of me needs to let this out. I've been holding this in for such a long time and its been really heavy on my heart...

Block B debuted on April 15, 2011. It's almost been a year since we've entered the entertainment industry. In this 9 month period we've learned many things as a group and as individuals. We've grown musically and this up and coming album will prove that.  

As the leader and producer of this group, I have a lot of pressure. I'm a perfectionist. If I think a song is great, I know that it can be better. Working on our third album especially brought this side out. Some nights I wouldn't even come back to the dorm due to working in the studio.

These past few months have really been a struggle for not only me but my members as well. This album is kind of like a make it or break it point for us. I know we're still rookies but we want so badly to be recognized. 2011 had such a large influx of rookie idol groups. I believe there were 48 that debuted, including Block B, but that number might have gone up.

As rookies we know that debuting is the hardest period because that means we're the fresh meat in the industry. Debuts make a lasting impression, and that can have a positive or negative result. I'm thankful for Cho PD and his method of preparing us for debut. He made us write over 100 songs to further develop our musical skills. He told us that if we couldn't do that simple of a task, that there would be no point in debuting us. It was a rough training period but it molded us into better artists. In the words of Cho PD, "Popularity can disappear, but talent will always remain."

On top of that, each of us had our own obstacles that we faced to get to where we are today:

Jaehyo was a trainee under Cube and he was supposed to debut with B2ST but a knee injury prevented him from fulfilling his dreams. He even introduced Junhyung to Cube as well. He told me how rough it was for him after his surgery, but he said that Lee Joon encouraged him to try again. He persevered and his hard work continues to pay off.

Taeil was on MBC's "Birth of A Great Star" but got eliminated. But that didn't stop him from pursuing his dreams. He had the shortest training time due to his talents and now he's the main vocalist of our group.

P.O is our maknae. He was eliminated during the first official audition for the group. What amazes me about him is, anybody can audition for something. But it takes true courage to go back to an audition one year later after being eliminated. He told me that during that year he practiced harder than ever, and even lost 22 pounds. He practiced rapping everyday along with his dancing. Cho PD saw his improvement and let him take his place in Block B.

U-Kwon didn't make the first round either but that didn't stop him from trying again. He's our smile representative, not to mention one of our dancers. One thing about him that amazes me, is that no matter how hard things get for him, he always manages to put a smile on his face. There are times when he misses his family or the toll of practicing gets to be too much for him but he still smiles. He wants to make his family proud, especially his father who is unfortunately no longer on this earth. He's a real asset to our team and it wouldn't be the same without him.

B-Bomb is our y dancer. He had his struggles just like everyone else but he practices so hard. Block B is not very strong in the dancing department but B-Bomb (along with U-Kwon) saves us and makes us look good. He's been there since day one and he's always there for us if we're having a hard time. Not only is he our dancer, he's like our older brother as well.

Kyung. The greasy cucumber and my best friend. He and I have been friends for 10 years. He loves hip hop and that's one of the things that made us friends. Kyung was in the underground rap scene and has mixtapes just like me. He's had the most experience among all of us in my opinion. He trained almost the longest out of all of us, but was dropped from the original lineup. That didn't stop him. He fasted for 10 days and proved that he was meant to be a member of this team.

Me. I got a lot of my experience from being in the underground scene as well. I have mixtapes and many songs that I worked hard on. My specialty is freestyle rap, and it took a long time to perfect it, and I'm still working on it. I was dropped from the original line up too. I would be lying if I said I didn't go through a depression but I didn't let that stop me. The reason I was dropped was because I wasn't seen capable of being a leader, but when I came back I was placed in the group and made the leader along with the title of producer.

I think something that differentiates Block B from other rookie groups is the fact that we have musical freedom. We write and produce our own songs and Cho PD doesn't touch it. He just gives us his feedback and oversees our work.

With that being said I feel the need to address something else that's bothered me. The fact that we have musical freedom... some people want to accuse us of copying Big Bang. Not to mention that our maknae P.O gets accused of trying to copy TOP. Just because he has a deep voice, raps, and his stage name is P.O doesn't mean he's copying T.O.P. His voice is naturally deep and the name P.O comes from his surname. His name is Pyo Jihoon. How is that copying someone? Block B respects not only Top, but Big Bang as a whole. We hope to one day get a taste of the success they have. And I know another reason why Block B is not particularly liked by some VIP's and other fans. Our CEO Cho PD is a veteran in the rap world, and he made a diss track about G-Dragon, and later said how he respected him. But that is what's causing Block B to receive some anti's. That angered me greatly. Whatever our CEO did is his business, but that doesn't reflect us as individuals. How can someone dislike a group for what their CEO did? That makes no sense to me, and it never will, but that's life.

I know that what I just wrote seems like a lot, but its necessary for the point I'm getting across. I know we're not the only group that struggled. Every group struggles at some point. I just feel the need to address the unfairness Block B has had to deal with. I'm sure that some people would say that I'm being ungrateful right now, but I'm not. I'm grateful for everything Block B has, but as the leader.. minor things like this consume my thoughts more.

When we debuted on the music shows, I can only recall one time when we performed Freeze! fully. We were the only rookies (to my knowledge) that had our debut track cut down. Freeze! is 3:26 but they had us performing it at 1:58 or at 1:59 if we got lucky. I didn't want to complain but when I saw that the other rookies were getting to perform their full song, or more than one song during their stage, it made me so angry. This went on for weeks and Cho PD even sent the music stations letters expressing his frustrations with the unfair treatment, but that changed nothing. Some of our fans took notice of this and expressed their disapproval, whereas other people said that since we already debuted that's why they cut our track down. I find that hard to believe seeing as the other rookies still got to perform their full song or more than one song.

I think one thing that angered me was the fact that Freeze got banned not once but twice by the MOGEF (Ministry of Gender Equality and Family). Our song had two lines that seemed unacceptable to them, “Send all of your friends home”, and “I’m waiting for you right here." I just didn't understand how that was inappropriate, and neither could my members or our label. We had to edit the song twice to make it suitable for the public.

Something else I took notice of was that we didn't get invited to as many shows as some rookies did. I am however very grateful towards MTV. The Match Up really helped get Block B noticed, and our fanbase, BBC's are very loyal. I love our fans more than anything and Block B is working hard to make them proud. I also want to thank Younha from Starry Night. That radio program has helped get Block B's name out there, along with Studio C and other shows. Lastly, I really appreciated Cube giving me the opportunity to be a part of Hyuna's Just Follow promotions. The original song is featuring Dok2 who I respect highly. But I wanted to add my own flair to it and they let me write my own verse. I was so thankful because I knew that working with someone as well known as Hyuna could get Block B more recognition, and it did.

But.. there are also some other shows that never invited us to be guests. Shows on some other major networks. The other rookies got invited but we never complained.. out loud at least. I think the thing that hurt us the most was the fact that we weren't invited to any of the year end shows. That really hurt my heart. I wasn't going to say anything, but after seeing Jaehyo's tweet... it gave me the courage to finally speak up. I've held all of this in for months and never said anything about it up until now. Yeah I may have mentioned something to the members, but it never got this elaborate. If you don't know the tweet I'm talking about, I'll post it below:

"[JAEHYO] I'm just going to close my eyes and cover my ears and not see or hear anything. I hope next year will belong to Block B! See you at Lotte World soon~~`

[JAEHYO] I'm really sorry that we couldn't be on TV over the year-end. Our fans are truly the best, and it's because we're lacking that this is happening. I'm sorry. Next year, we'll work harder so that you can see us on TV at the year-end!"

Those tweets put everything into perspective for me and made me think of all the obstacles we've faced thus far. I've been so worried with producing this last album. And I agree with what Jaehyo tweeted. Maybe the fact that we're lacking is the reason why we get treated unfairly. This new album has our blood, sweat and tears in it. I think I've developed a bit of anxiety from working on it so hard, not to mention all of the personal problems that I've been facing along with my members. They've noticed a change in me, and I notice it too.

All I want is for Block B to be recognized. 2011 was a good year for us to an extent because we're lucky enough to still be mentioned in articles, and we do have a stable fanbase, but I want more for my group. I want 2012 to be the year that Block B gets recognized for their talents. I know we're not the most traditional group and that we tend to be crazy, but it's who we are. Like Kyung said in a recent interview when we were in Singapore, "We don't want to be the same. It's not fun. It's not our style. We're different. That's our image."

We're not your typical idol group, I can tell you that much. And we don't conform to what is normal.

With all this being said, I feel slightly at ease.. but I'll never truly be satisfied until my group gets the same fair treatment as the other groups. And I have no resentment to them at all, because I know its not their fault.

If you took the time to read this, I thank you. I know this is long, but I really needed to let this out. I wanted to share with you personally how I felt. I know that I've left some things out.... but what you read is the gist of what I was trying to get across.

Block B's comeback is in February. All I can tell you is get ready because you will see a new and improved side of us.

2012 will be the time for Block B to show their growth, and I hope you all will be along for the ride.