Changmin POV

I wake up as I feel so hot in my room. I blinked my eyes several time as  I strech my body few times.

I scanned my room try to check either the AC function or not and yes it's functioning and slowly I feel so tired and pain all over my body.

I do feel my inner body so hot but at the same thing I feel cold. I wake up from my bed and walk out from my room. I heard voices from our living house, and it do shock when I recognize the voice. It's been almost 3 years I heard the voices.

Am I miss that voice too much until I heard it. Slowly I step in to the living room and I found my hyung sleeping on the sofa while the television still on.

It's one of our collection disc, it's during we're filming the video of balloons. I can see right now is the moment where Jaejoong hyung and Yoochun hyung are talking and myself are hanging and jumping around them.

Slowly the memory comes crawling to my mind. The 5 of us living together in this dorm and we're happy just like one big happy family.

"Min, you awake? Are you alright?" I heard my hyung, Jung Yunho asking me as he wake up.

"Yess." I reply him but my voice betray me when it came out so hoarse to my hyung ear.

Slowly he stands up and put his hand on my forehead, checking my temperature. And he scanned me who still in my pajama.

"Sit down, Changmin. You're burning up. Just rest, I'll cook for you." Slowly he seated me at the sofa and turn off the AC. I look back to the television and this time it's play our old picture, personal pictures and mostly is my appa and omma. I look at the corner and I saw Yunho hyung I-pod.

The man in track suit and singlet, just look at me. And when I turn to him, he smiles to me awkwardly and turn off the television.

"Wait a while, hyung cook for you." Yunho hyung said it as he walk to the kitchen.

"Hyung, you miss them right? Omma?" I ask him making he stop. I know he surprised with my question.

"Take a rest, I'll cook for you." He replies me, ignore my question.

"Answer me appa. You miss omma right? Why don’t you try to call him? And don’t cook for me if it ramen again. I don’t want it." I don’t know why but I do feel pissed off when I hear his reply.

I heard his let out a heavy sighed as he turns to look at me. I  know I shouldn’t push him but from what I can see he pushing himself to moving but everyone can see how he missed our 3 friends, members and family.

"Changmin-ah, please stop being stubborn. You have to eat. Please." I see he pleading me but right now I don’t want to listen to him.

"Hyung, please. Don’t cheat us anymore. You miss them right? Chunnie hyung, Junsu hyung. You miss omma right? Let's go meet them. I miss them. I promise I will not abuse Chunnie hyung. I'll call Junsu hyung not dolphin. And I stop fighting and abuse Jaejoong hyung. I stop ask he cook for me even I'm starving. Hyung..Please..Appa.." I blurt it out, holding my heart as I choke with my words and tears. I ignore the sting on my throat.

"Changmin-ah..Please..Stop this..We talk about this later..Just get a rest." Yunho hyung said to me but he looking everywhere except me.

"Yahh..Jung Yunho, please stop this...We doesn’t need the leader..What we need is our hyung, our appa and do you realized Jaejoong hyung need you the most..Why you always protect me..Why you the only one who lie..Hyung, do you know Jaejoong hyung miss you so much..And how if he know you do this because of you love him so much..You protecting him but he never knew..Please tell him..Please once...just this time ignore all the rules, hyung...please." Again I burst out, with the heavy tears on my cheek but when I see Yunho hyung still that calm, that really make me hate him even deep my heart I knew that he have his own reasons.

"Hyung..Please...Stop this...I miss them...Omma.."I try again but still the same reaction. Slowly I walk to my room, leaving him alone at the living room.

I closed the door and fall to the down. I cry out my heart as I grab the bear near to me to hold. I hug the bear and slowly wetting the bear with my tears.

For these 3 years I had enough with our management, since we're still 5 people we already realized there are unfairness among SM Town artist just like the fans always said it was hell true.

We're mistreating compare to their silver spoon artist. We all are the mistake and as to cover their investment, now we are forced to work like a cow at the paddy field. TVXQ and Super Junior is the biggest mistake to SM Entertainment.

The reason is simple, sooner or later we have to serve our military service and from that point we will lost our fans. Not like girl group where at least they could long last a bit more than us.

The royalty are too little from what we make. It just unfair but what we being told it just the payback for the company.

As much we talk, that much we will beat up by our president Lee Soo Man. Just like 2 months ago, when for the first time we failed to nominate for GDA and have limited wining for several awards.

But lucky me, I had the most protective leader, hyung and appa. Jung Yunho, he is the one who shield me from the bouncer from hitting me that much. He takes all the pain on behalf me. Just like he used to do when Jaejoong hyung arrested for his driving issue, Yoochun hyung give up on dancing and when Junsu hyung refuse to perform when he so tired.

We did plan to leave all together but when the final discussion with us end up, Yunho hyung surprised us when he said he refuse to leave and he'll stay. I still remember how hurt Jaejoong hyung by that time when Yunho said he have to protect TVXQ and dont want to let down all Cassiopeia who put a high hope for us.

I know by that time, he had something else than that stupid reason so I choose to stay with him. At least someone will be with him to support him. Jaejoong hyung agree with me and he said he thank me so much as I help him to look after his boyfriend.

I do thought we still can meet and contact each other but I'm wrong when I try to meet them and call them and the management know make me deserve several hard lesson from that frightened bouncer.

Slowly, I found out the real reason why Yunho hyung stay. He wants to prorect Jaejoong hyung. His lover, his boyfriend. I don’t how but our management had some proof that showing Yunjae are so real. Yunho hyung said that Jaejoong had gone thru a lot of thing and he don’t want this issue to pressured Jaejoong. This is serious issue, it's a gaything.

And whenever he missed Jaejoong hyung, he'll drink until he passed out; make me to call my friend Kyuhyun or sometimes Onew to help me.

I thank Kyuhyun, he always there when I need him. Yes, all Super Junior member and Shinee know this story, and all of them always give us support. I still remember Kyuhyun said just think the missing member is doing the sub-unit promotion, I try but the different is he able to Sungmin hyung when he miss the aegyo boy but not me.

Its hell hard for me when the management decide to re-record the hit songs of us, Rising Sun, Mirotic and Somebody To Love. Don’t they know that it was hard for us to sing that song without the rest of my member? I'm just the main tenor not lead vocal like Jaejoong and Junsu hyung. And Yunho hyung just bass voice and we almost lost our voice for every performance but it still nothing comparewhen we have to heard their voices in our ear thru the earpiece thing.

And for sure I still remember the day when we need to sing the balloons song, we do that with Shinee, I never hate them but it’s not the song for them, it our song. And with their voices clearly heard in our ear, both Yunho hyung and I lost in the song. Our own song. We try our best not to let out my tears on the stage yes, I success to hide it but after we bow to Cassiopeia, at the back stage I let out all my tears on Onew shoulder. Calling my omma, my hyung and my friend. I ignore all the staff who looking me that time, all I knew is I wants my family back.

As well Cassiopeia knew how young am I debut, they also knew how Jaejoong hyung the one who be my omma, take care of my food and myself. Yoochun hyung who always help me with my English study and Junsu hyung who always stay up with me for my final project task every months and Yunho hyung who become my appa, monitoring my schedule and grade.

It’s not a joke when I say it. I mean it. It not for the show purpose, I grown up with that pretty boy as my mom, that Gwangju street fighter as my appa, the ia man as my hyung and that dolphin duck as my friends, I spend almost half of teenage year with them not like any other normal kid who spend their time with their family.

They are my family, it’s like they are my first family and my real family is the second one. If anyone ask me to sacrifice for them, I will never think twice. They are important to me just like how my life is important to myself.

As my mind busy with all that memory, suddenly I heard a knock on my door, I knew it Yunho hyung. I just ignore him, I try to wiped the tears bit it keep falling down, and the bear already wet. My eyes are swollen and my throat are too pain.

“Changmin-ah…Min-ah…I’m sorry..Please forgive me..I miss them too…like hell..but if I go to them..Jaejoongie, will hurt..I don’t want to hurt him more..They had enough Changmin. The court case, the restriction and the banned songs..Please, forgive me..I’m not a good hyung, leader and..appa..Believe me, if I could I want to wish his birthday, to congrats Yoochun and to join Junsu for the soccer.. And I want to meet Jaejoong before he served his army..Changmin-ah, I’m sorry I’m not a good hyung, I’m too scared of the rules…but I want to protect him..and you..Please come out..eat some food, I’ll buy whatever you want..i want you to take the pill for your fever..please..” I heard a faint voice from the door. I know Yunho hyung also crying. He pleading make my cheek wet again and my swollen eyes never fail to let out the tears fall down.

I know it my fault who make him feel I put the burden on him, but that not what I mean, I just want him to cross the line. But with his voice, explain to me, I guessed I’m too much. I forget my promise to my omma, to look on him. Slowly I open the door for him, and the first thing I knew is I’m in his hug.

I can’t help to crying in his hug again, I can feel his patted my back and rock his body to forth and back to soothe me. He pretend to be strong in front of me, holding back his tears. Slowly I feel he brought my body to my bed, and lay me on my bed as he tuck me in.

“That’s enough for today, Minnie. You’ll fall sick more worse if you don’t stop crying. Please..tell me what you want to eat?” He wiped my tears and smile to me but I never missed his red eyes and watery eyes, he holding his tears.

“Just get me some porridge hyung.” I tell him, it almost whispering. My voices to hoarse because crying too much. He smile to me and patted my head before leave me as he call the delivery outside.

Yunho hyung, I’m sorry. You’re good leader, hyung and appa. Maybe you’re not strict in handle us like Onew and not like Leeteuk hyung who show his love publically to his dongsaeng but you’re protective hyung who always protect his dongsaeng and you always support us no matter how we failed to perform in anything in our life.

As I waited for Yunho hyung to bring my porridge, I close my eyes, to have a nap and to relax as I feel so tired now. And before I lost in my dream, I make a promise to myself to help my appa and omma back together and to bring my hyungs back in our life. Like our Cassiopeia promise, Always Keep The Faith. 















So I'm supposed not to make it chapterized but sometimes my mind pop up with idea...
I dont know either i want to continue this or not...depends on the comments and encouragement from all of you...
And for Yoochun and Junsu, it take time because they are not my bias and i knew less about them...so i'm so so sorry...
Please do tell me what do you think or feel after reading this chapter....*I do feel it much better than Jaejoong one*