Yunho POV

I can’t believe our manager told us that we will sing that song soon. Please, make me sing others song but not that song. I can’t do it. I don’t think I could do it. I have to done something, I just don’t want to sing that song.

As I squeezed my brain to think how to change to other song or maybe anything that could make us not to sing that song, I heard a shattered glass from the next door, Shinee waiting room. I run to the next room.

I saw our magnae, Changmin is trying to break Onew and Kibum from holding him. He really look he going to kill our manager if he get off from them. Meanwhile at the corner of the room, Minho is holding Taemin hand, calming the boy down, he must be scared.

“NO..NO..I don’t want to sing that song….I had it enough…I hate you..” He yelled to the manager, I can see in his eyes, the anger, sad and frustration.  He never act like this since our first comeback. Our comeback after almost 3 years and only with two of us. Only two.

“Hyung..Please…calm yourself down..Please..” Onew try to calm Changmin down. Even Changmin death glare is scary.

“Just leave hyung. I’ll settle this up. You want we song this song, we’ll sing but I want Shinee on the stage too.” I speak up and shocked our manager and Shinee boy themselves and making Changmin look me with his deathly glare.

“Jung Yunho!!” Changmin gritted my name. I just ignore him, focusing on our manager, hoping he’ll agree and finally he nod his head. I let go a relived breath.

And as our manager left, Onew and Kibum let go Changmin off. Making him punching the table, a loud bang sound could be heard. I just close my eyes and take my deep breath.

“Changmin-ah..Min-ah..Please..we have no choice..” I try my best to convince him. He just groaned to me. Disagree with me.

“Please hyung. Other song, anything but not this. I don’t think I could sing it.” He plead me with his eyes, the eyes that hard for me to said no. But this time I have to disappoint him.

“Min, we stuck  by the law. You knew it well. What will happen if we break that law? Our parents,our family and most important…Jaejoonng hyung.” I almost whispering the last part. But I knew he heard that when he sighed.

“Please..Changmin, this time only..I promise to you, we never sing this song again..unless we with them.” I make a promise to him, hold his shoulder to convince him. And yes, slowly he nod his head.

“Make sure you get ready in 10 minutes, Min. Thank You.” I patted his shoulder before I leave him.

“Thank you Onew. Sorry for trouble you guys.” I bowed to Onew when I about to get out.

“No, hyung. It’s okay we understand. Okey, guys you all hear Yunho hyung said. 10 minutes.” Onew start to order his dongsaeng to get ready after I walked out to our waiting room. He remind me of myself once before. Shinee remind me how we used to be.

I sat at the sofa in the room. I rested my head on the wall. Closing my eyes, and he is the first one come to my mind.

Kim Jaejoong, our lead vocal. He like omma of our group, making food for us without fail. He always think positive. I always remember how he smile,his laugh and how hardly he will blushing when the fans saw our skinship on the stage. He always there, next to me, at my right side.

Then I remembered the Korean American guy, model look.

Park Yoochun, our rapper. He really helped me and Jaejoong when Junsu and our Changmin fighting. He is the calmest one yet the one who is really easily touched. He is easy going, a good listener and a good friend that I ever met.

A tears fall from my eyes, I wiped it. But suddenly I remembered my aegyo king,my favorite dongsaeng.

Kim Junsu, the dolphin with duck . That is what Changmin always called him. Just to annoyed him all day long. I missed his unique laugh,Eun Kyang Kyang, his gag joke and how his dance.

Again a tears fall from my eyes, I blinked it few times, hope it will stop. I heard Changmin knock the door, to remind me to get ready in 5 minutes.

Shim Changmin, our magnae. The food lord. He don’t leave me but I can see how his eyes don’t shine as it used to be when all of us in the stage, win the chart. I also rarely see his bright gummy smile on his face since our comeback. And how he become more silent, and is so cold.

I still remember the past 2 years, all of us supposed to leave from this ing cruel company together. 5 of us. But when the management knew about this and unfortunately they get hold on me. They used my family as the target and they about to revealed to the world about my relationship with Jaejoong.

Yes, Yunjae is real. We fall in love and become a lover. With several picture as a solid proof of our relationship, they managed to make me stay. Betray my friends, my dongsaeng and my lover. Thank god, Changmin stay with me, he said he cant leave me alone in here. He’ll stay with me. For me what important is to protect Jaejoong, I believe he had enough. And soon after the separation between us, Changmin knew about that, as well Super Junior members and Shinee boys since they the one who will helped Changmin when I passed out drunk in any pub.

I walked out to the backstage where all the coordinator is there, I take a deep breath as they attach the earpiece thing to my trousers and check it. Soon after I saw Changmin and Shinee come to our way,to get ready.

“Okay, 1 minutes more.” The coordinator told us. I take a deep breath and close my eyes. And yes, he come again.

‘I love you Jae-ah.’ I whisper that in my heart.

“Shinee, 1,2,3 Go!!” I heard the Shinee boys shout. Changmin and I just smile to them.

The coordinator signals us to get on the stage. I put the smile on my face. I guessed today all the Cassiopeia could tell this the fake smile.  And soon after I could hear the music is in my ear as the crowds start to cheering up for us.

“Sing with us alright?” I told the fans as we start to take our place. And soon after we start to sing. I could hear the original voice. I try my best to hide my shocked as I heard their voices, Jaejoong, Junsu and Yoochun. The man I missed so much.

As we keep singing, I try to check on Changmin. He also seem shocked and he try his best to control his tears and feeling. He is strong boy. I realized that Onew on his side, keep eyes on him.

As I start my part, my tears almost fall when I heard Yoochun voice, and then go my tone and the note all are off. I try my hard to keep back on track. I also heard Changmin chant my name, I know he try to covered up as the fans might shout Yoochun name.

I swallow my saliva when Onew start to sing along with me. I hate to hear their voices in my ear now. I missed them so much. How we used to be so playful, happy and enjoying this songs.  I see everywhere except the camera. I don’t want the fans to realize I’m almost crying here.

I realized Changmin voice start shaking and off tone now. He really look so lost in his own music. I start to feel my eyes sting, their voices and Changmin face really make me hurt. I hope no one realized my eyes are red and getting watery.

I keep singing; try to give my best for this song. Even the picture how playful Junsu and me at this part rolled in my mind,  I keep smiling even I knew that the most awkward smile ever from Jung Yunho, TVXQ leader.

 I try to sing at his part, but I can’t and I knew Taemin, the Shinee magnae is ready to cover me. I can’t do it anymore, his voice, I do missed it so much. His angelic voices. Kim Jaejoong, I missed you damn much. I just let Minho lead my part and then Changmin shaking voices could be heard.

I take a deep breath before start back, and all I could hear is my shaking voices. I keep looking anywhere I know if I focus on one thing my tears will fall soon. But soon after I saw our sunbaenim, Five Finger band member come out and bring the red balloons together with him.

Why is it must be red? Does they need to go to this level? Doesn’t they know that Changmin and I hurting here? I can see Changmin pull out his ear piece at the bridge of the songs, where Jaejoong voice clearly could be heard, he look sad. I believe he also going to cry soon. His eyes are red, and his smile clearly are fake when all the Cassiopeia knew well, that he has the smiling eyes, but not today. The smiling eyes are full with sadness and painful expression.

At this moment I knew Shinee and our sunbaenim had take over the song from us. I don’t care if any anti fans or reporters talking about our off tone and shaking voices tomorrow. They will never knew how painful it is to sing the songs that used to be sing with the others? The songs is about 5 of us, used to sing as 5 but today we sing with someone else, do you know how hurt it is?

We finished the songs as Changmin and I keep giving the smiling faces to our fans, to ensure them everything is alright. Soon after we walked to the backstage and after remove all the earpiece,  I see Onew patted our magnae. Checking on him.

The last thing I see is, Changmin burst out on Onew shoulder. He is crying his heart hard.

“Jae Omma…I want him…omma..Chun hyung..I need him….Junsu-ah…I missed you..” Changmin repeat that, calling all of them. I see Onew try his best to soothed Changmin, coaxed him. Changmin sobbing and tears really stab my heart.

I walked to the rest room and I punched the mirror. I do feel the pain but I never be the same as the pain how I have to cheat my own lover, to run from my own friends and miss my own brother. Slowly I fall to the floor and tears start to fall from my eyes. Ignore the blood from my knuckles.

“Jae-ah, sorry…I just want to protect you…I love you….I’m sorry I hurt you….Chun, sorry I run from my ownself, I afraid of him….Junsu, I missed you bro….” I mumble that, hoping the air will send it to them. tell them how I and Changmin missed, need and want them.

I close my eyes, hope to rest myself, as I dream to meet them. Just once.

My Lover, Kim Jaejoong

My  friend, Park Yoochun

My brother, Kim Junsu

And our old magnae, or we used to treat him as Yunjae baby

 My baby, Shim Changmin















Hi there...........My one shot of TVXQ...this idea come when i watched the fancam....I hate it.............SO sad................So leave your comment........Thank you.Its a failed.....*Hiding behind Chagmin*