Loving someone isn’t simple, nor will it ever be. There will be uncertainty and fear, of not losing the loved but rather being afraid of never having the strong feelings replicated back toward one. Seungri wasn’t afraid of losing Jiyong, but rather Jiyong losing his talents and his feelings for Seungri. It hurt Seungri every day seeing Jiyong struggle to change, to be someone that everyone wanted him to be, but Jiyong wasn’t charismatic, fashionable, or cool. That is GD, the Jiyong everyone expected him to be, but Kwon Jiyong is a shy playful boy that loves music and is a fashion nerd. Nobody expected the cool GD to sing but instead rap and compose music, to match his image. But Seungri knows, Seungri knows the real person under the mask and layers of popularity and calm. And he plans to break the mask, to shatter it completely so it will never be repaired once more.

But how? How would Seungri break a wall that had been up for years, something Jiyong had made almost impenetrable. How would a single insignificant person in the popular person’s life do that?

Seungri slumped in his seat, and his chin accidentally hit the desk. He was in the classroom where Seunghyun, Daesung, Youngbae, and Jiyong always met in, him included. The desks were old and withered with yellowed legs and even more yellowed chairs. The blackboard in the front were covered in names of misbehaved students, Seungri counted Seunghyun’s name more than once. He had wandered into the empty classroom on instinct, knowing that Jiyong would come in the room at times and compose his sings. It was slightly creepy that Seungri knew all of Jiyong’s schedules, but it couldn’t be helped if he was around Jiyong all day.

The door creaked loudly as it opened, the sound startling Seungri out of his reverie. A cautious head peeped through the door, the bright orange hair not giving much room to guess who the mystery person was. Seungri smiled brightly as he recognized the bright hair. He cupped his hands around his mouth and shouted, “Hyung!”

Jiyong let out a small squeak, the sound not matching the usual image the orange haired boy carried. Jiyong scowled at Seungri once he found the source of the noise that called him. Seungri smiled in return, his hand waving his Hyung to him already.

“Are you hungry?” Seungri pulled out a small plastic bag and placed it on his desk. Jiyong saw the food and cautiously headed over to the beaming maknae. The food Seungri had brought were Jiyong’s favorites, spicy rice cakes and miso soup.

Jiyong picked up a pair of chopsticks and a plastic spoon, and Seungri pushed the plates to him. “How did you know I was here?” Jiyong asked cautiously, eyeing the food. Seungri nudged the plate. “Eat.”

Jiyong contemplated something for a bit, then shook his head, still eyeing the plate. “I just remembered, I’m on a diet.” Jiyong pushed the plate back to Seungri. “I’ll have something else.”

Seungri took back the plate reluctantly, and Jiyong took out a boiled egg from his bag. Jiyong bit into the white ball slowly, his distaste showing through his mask clearly. With quick hands, Seungri took the egg and pushed the plate of spicy rice cakes in front of Jiyong’s face.

“You’re too skinny to be on a diet anyway.” Seungri smiled gently as he bit into the egg, letting out a small hum of content. “This egg isn’t all that bad.” Jiyong hesitantly picked up the chopsticks once more and picked up a rice cake. With watching eyes, Jiyong ate the rice cake with a satisfied look and a low hum. He shoved more and more in his mouth, along with some fish cakes and a few vegetables in between. Seungri handed him the cup of miso soup, chiding for his hyung to slow down and drink the soup before it got cold.

The plate and cup slowly emptied and Seungri ate his small egg happily. Seeing his hyung eat so carelessly made something in his heart light up, it really made him happy. If only he would sing too. It’ll take time to crack the older, so Seungri has to be patient.

A plate was shoved under Seungri’s face, startling the younger. The white haired boy looked up in surprise. “You want more?”

Jiyong’s face was scrunched up and pouted, his lips slightly red from the stain of the sauce. He had a bit more color in his cheeks, the rosy tint adding a nice compliment to his usual white face.

“I can’t have more?” Jiyong whined, his head drooping to his chest. “But it was so good.”

Seungri picked up the plate and started to put more food onto the plate, and Jiyong’s head rose up, his eyes wide and bright. But Seungri stopped right before the first rice cake fell onto the plate. Jiyong whimpered loudly, the sound making Seungri’s heart melt.

“Seungri-ah!” The older’s small hands tugged on Seungri’s jacket. The red long sleeved shirt that Jiyong wore contrasted deeply with the navy blue jacket Seungri had on. Showing more of their differences. Showing how Seungri and Jiyong can’t be together, can’t be happy together.

“Can you sing for me?” The air seemed to have left his lungs, the tension pressing on his head tightly. Seungri watched carefully for his hyung’s reaction.

Jiyong’s red cheeks grew bigger, but the spark in his eyes had already left. The older’s hand quickly withdrew and wiped itself on black pants. Jiyong rose from his seat, his eyes narrowed in suspicion.

“I’ll find a new place to write my lyrics. It’s nice to write with no annoying distractions,” Jiyong spat at Seungri, picking up his bag and started walking away. A nimble hand shot out and grabbed tightly onto Jiyong’s wrist, holding him back from moving any further.

“Please, I beg of you.” His voice was whiny, of course Jiyong wouldn’t like him and only think of him as an annoying distraction. He wasn’t popular as Jiyong, he wasn’t as talented as Jiyong, but he was more persistent than Jiyong, and he planned to show how long he will persist.

“Why do you care at all?” Jiyong shot back, his eyes sparkling with tiny tears. “Why do you care about a pathetic person like me?”

Seungri reached out to his hyung, his hand clenching and unfurling, unsure whether to hug his hyung or pat him. He chose the former.

“You’re not pathetic.”

Jiyong stiffened in his place, the tension growing in his shoulders. Seungri’s stomach fluttered and danced, but he swallowed his nervousness away and kept holding onto Jiyong’s wrist. He had to show Jiyong how precious he was to the world. The younger wanted to help Jiyong find his true self in the world, no matter how cliché it sounded.

“S—Seungri, what are you doing?” Jiyong mumbled, situating himself to stand in front of the younger.

Seungri smiled gently, while rubbing the sides of Jiyong’s arms up and down. The older shuddered, but kept still otherwise.

“You’re so beautiful hyung.” A deep crimson flush crept up Jiyong’s neck, and up to his face. Knowing that his hyung was embarrassed and slightly caught off guard, Seungri used that advantage and quickly stood up and kissed the older.

Seungri’s first thoughts were, ‘His lips are so soft.’ He felt like a ert, it wasn’t much of a lie, but he threw the thought away and deepened the kiss. Seungri kept his eyes open to see Jiyong’s reaction, to see if he was disgusted.

Jiyong’s eyes were half closed, a tears dripping from the corners of them and his cheeks were flushing redder by the second. His head was tilted to the side slightly, deepening the kiss accidentally. Seungri saw Jiyong’s hands fluttered by his sides, and he grabbed them tightly, rubbing his thumbs in a rhythmic circle. He could feel Jiyong’s hot pulse underneath his hands, the throbbing intensifying the burning feeling in Seungri’s heart, telling the younger ‘This isn’t a dream.’

Then Jiyong pulled away, all too soon, and was left panting and eyes blown wide. Seungri felt his heart jumping out of his throat, waiting for Jiyong’s response, so he stared dumbly at the older, his hands shaking.

Jiyong shook his head slowly, his dark hair swinging in his eyes. He regretted it. Oh god, Jiyong hated him now and he’ll never be the person he wanted to be seen in his eyes—

Jiyong’s nimble hands reached out to grab Seungri’s face and pulled him in for their lips to meet once more. Seungri melted into the kiss, the soft lips gently prying his own lips open. The kiss lasted longer than their first one. Seungri swore he heard his heart go ‘Doki’.

His first kiss might have been a failure, but his second was A ok.

Seungri anxiously waited next to their apartment door, the balloons in his hands shaking in sync. It was their third anniversary, and he wanted to do everything right.

He wanted to show his boyfriend how beautiful and how precious he was, not only to him, but to the rest of the world. That’s why Seungri collected a thousand notes from all his friends that have written compliments about Jiyong. He threw away the inappropriate ones and the ones that have confessions to Jiyong. After all, Jiyong is his. He went through the cards that everyone wrote, the sweetest ones at the bottom, and the weirdest ones at the top. He rustled through them, trying to find the ones Jiyong would definitely want to read first.

Seungri grinned at the one Daesung wrote to Jiyong. Dear Kwon Jiyong. You are so nice and funny. Bet that’s what you wanted to hear, eh? Nope. That’s not what i’m going to write cause you aren’t, and you know it. You are a badass boy and don’t give a as to what is happening in the world. But it’s alright. Cause ya have a boyfriend that is sweet and funny while you be the emo one. Yin and yang right?

But Daesung’s couldn’t compare to Youngbae’s. You are rude and not funny at all. You made me dress up as a girl for a surprise for my girlfriend and the next day she broke up with me. But, you helped me get back together with her at least. You pay your debts well man. You’re not a friend, you’re a heart attack. Don’t kill your boyfriend okay? And you have to delete the picture! You blackmailer…