Lilies symbolize that the soul of the departed has received restored innocence after death.

 

 

 

 

“They say that if you wish upon a falling star, your wish will be granted.”

My 8 yr old self listened very intently at the older boy beside me.

 

We were sitting at the edge of the mountain cliff- Me, swaying my legs in the air as if dancing in the tune of ocean waves and cold husky breeze, And him, staring at the velvet darkness stretched over the sky sprawled with bright diamond stars and a ripe full moon definitely observing us.

 

Anywhere you’d look, it would seem suicidal- Two young kids at the edge of a high steep cliff in the dark. Down is a vast abyss of ocean ready to engulf us.

 

Where are their parents to supervise them? Mine was back on the cabin sound asleep. I made sure to sneak out silently and secretly. If they caught me, they’ll start yelling at each other and at me again. I don’t want to put band aids on my arms again. I already have used the 11 bands from the medic box on my arms and feet...

 

I have to pluck out the white flower no matter what. We passed by the road to this mountain earlier and i saw the lonely flower at this place.

 

For some reason, I couldn’t help but feel the need to take it with me.

It won’t be lonely then.

 

Till i saw him. This older kid plucked it out rather than me.

 

I panted heavily from running but as soon as the flower I had in mind was plucked out by this older kid, I blanked out in anger and thought all my efforts were in vain.

My emotions were overwhelming me.

I was about to cry but he gave it to me.

 

“Sorry. I saw you passed by the road and I thought you’d want it.”

 

 

 

 

 

“So your parents made you come here?” I nod.

“And they were fighting whether to take you or not?” I nod.

“But because your daddy doesn’t want to take you, he slapped you in the face and you got that wound?” I nod again.

 

“...….”

“Are you alright?”

I nod. His eyebrows furrowed.

 

“Hey, that’s not how a person should react. Aren’t you supposed to be crying?”

He cleared his throat.

“Look, if you’re just trying to hold the tears you don’t have to. You can lean on me and cry you know?”

“But I don’t feel crying.” I blinked.

“Plus, You’re a stranger. They said I shouldn’t talk to weird strangers.”

I think I saw a nerve popped out his head. He scoffed again.

“Yah. What Weird?! Kids like you shouldn’t even go out in the middle of the night as well!!” insulted, he clicked his tongue and fished on his pocket.

“Look at this rude brat. And I’m even worried about you.”

 

I look back at the dark horizon. It’s alright if I can’t see anything other than darkness. I’d rather stay here for now than go back to the cabin.

 

The older kid leaned closer and touched the bruise on my face.

“W-what are you doing, weirdo?”

I flinched not because it still hurts but because he touched it gently.

“I’m sorry.” he said then continued on patting my bruise. It felt wet.

I back away but he grabbed my shoulder. 

“Don’t move, I’m putting medicine.” he muttered in a low voice.

“.…..” he’s making me feel uncomfortable. But I can’t seem to reject it. I looked away.

I wish mommy and daddy were the one putting medicine on me.

The older kid glanced at me. Kind enough, he pretended to not notice the welling on the corner of my eyes.

“Why are you sorry?” I asked, confused why he would be sorry when he didn’t do anything bad to me.

“.……”

He just stared at me in silence then ruffled my hair. Then he said in the most gentle yet determined voice,

“Just remember that nothing stays the same. Even a sturdy tree rots.”

“.…..” I stared at nothing. Absorbing the words and trying to take it in.

“You’ll understand it when you grow up.”

“.….”

It’s not that I don’t understand what he said. Although I’m young, even I have a clue as to what he meant.

“Done.” he smiled looking at my right cheek then to my eyes.

 

I stared at this older kid.

He wears a big grey hoodie, dirty pants and a red scarf. He has 3 cross necklaces which doesn’t suit him nor look good like whatever fashion he’s aiming.

He has clear, pale blue eyes. Too pale that it reflects the star brimmed sky when he looks up.

He has a little dot on his nose.

He looks just the same as I am, just longer and taller and with black hair tied together like a ponytail by a red string.

He looks older. A grown up.

Yet he emits something I couldn’t understand. Maybe because I’m still young to get it or it’s because all adults are like that. but I like how soft and harmless he looks.

 

“Tell me, why are you here again?” he asked, looking over at me.

“hmm.” I showed him the flower.

“oh?” he tilted his head.

“I saw this here so I thought I want it.”

He scoffed at me.

“Hey kid, you shouldn’t go out at night just to pluck out flowers!

What if someone tries to kidnap you?! There are bad guys everywhere. Your parents will be worried- ” he cut off realizing that he mentioned my parents.

The thought that maybe because I’m out here meant that they really didn’t care if I’d be safe or not. And that made him feel bad as I saw him look away.

“hmm? It’s alright. I am not alone.” I looked at him, one hand holding the flower.

“Yah! What are you saying-”

“ -I’m with you.” I blinked at him.

And he froze. he didn’t think he’d be caught off guard by a lost child.

“What. This kid…” he muttered, covering his mouth while blushing.

 

 

Staring down at the black ocean, I can’t help but think of how no one will stop me if I ever jump and let the ocean take me. The wave rise and rise like it want to reach me but it can’t. it crashed on the rocks but not till almost reaching our feet.

The force felt real and I thought the ocean itself tried to drag my leg down for a moment.

 

“-Achoo!” I sneezed. The older kid jolted in surprised and bounced on his .

“W-what?!-” he looked at me with wide alarmed eyes. Too surprised and scared that he almost fell.

 

Remember that we’re on the edge of a cliff?

 

“sorry. I didn’t mean to sneeze. It just happened.” I sniffed.

“You seriously-” he glared at me, sighing in relief while he scoot back patting the ground to search on something he could grab onto.

he brushed a stone with his hand.“Oh, that’s a spider.”

“AAAHHHH!!!”

He screamed in high pitched terror.

 

 

 

 

“Oh, sorry, I thought it was a spider.”

he looked at me with his wide open eyes in disbelief. Then his face morphed to a cussing one.

“You S%#@!**”

I’ve never heard a crispy long verse of swear from someone other than my father. He completely beat my father and owned it.

“I said I’m sorry. It was dark, I really thought it was a real spider.”

“You really! **** If you’re not a child I would’ve had kick you right on the spot!”

He trembles.

“Are you crying? Wooahh, what a man.” I teased. This older kid is really funny.

“Yah! What are you doing?! what’s with that attitude to someone older?! don’t you know manners? Aishh.”

I glared at him.

“What older? you don’t even look like an adult! Aren’t you just a few years older?! i bet my text cards you’re just in grade 5!”

“YAH! GRADE 5?! AIGOO! This little brat!” he grabbed his neck and scoffed.

“What grade 5?! GRADE 5?! I’m already in my high school!”

“What kind of high school has an ugly small student?” I stuck out my tongue.

“Aiish! This little brat! I’ll teach you manners! ”

He lunged towards me and started tickling me.

 

Our eyes locked for that moment. We paused.

However, for some reason, we can’t help but burst out laughing out loud.

 

 

 

 

 

We sat there for a while, laughing and talking about things any strangers wouldn’t do while gazing at the starry night and listening to the rowdy crash of waves.

It felt like I finally have met a real friend. It made my chest so light and fluffy that I couldn’t handle it.

 

“come here.” he cupped my face and tilted it towards him.

“Why?” I defended.

“Don’t pout. You’re not cute.”

I pursed my lips more.

He pull the red string from his hair and let his hair fall on his neck.

I can’t help but stare at his face.

He looks… he looks… quite good looking with a funny hair.

Then he grabbed the flower in my hand and took a petal.

“Hey! What are you doing?! did you just ruined my flower?!” i tried to stretch out for the petal he took but his strength is too much for me.

“Calm down, you brat. You’ll fall. I won’t catch you.” he smirked. And pushed my head avoiding my fumbling arms.

Then he placed the white lily petal over my bruise and wrapped it with the red string around my head.

He grinned stupidly.

“You look funny!” he laughed.

“What is this?!” I have a petal plastered on my face.

I turned to him too fast. That shocked him.

“Oh god, this is really funny! Look at your face!” he grabbed his tummy and laughed loudly.

“Hahahaha!”

I tried to take off the string but it’s tightly done.

I couldn’t take it off!

I felt blood rushing to my head and I’ve never felt embarrassed more than anything.

“Why are you laughing at me?!” I teared up.

“Lol. Are you crying?! aww, you poor little kid. Hahaha!” he chuckled.

I thought he was a good person. How could he humiliate me like this?

He stopped as soon as he saw me with tears.“Oh. Yah-”

I sniffed.

“Are you really crying?” he lifted my hair and glimpse at me.

Then he realised that he shouldn’t have been laughing.

“Take this off me!! take this off me!!” I whined.

“yah! Don’t take it off! I’m sorry okay? I’m sorry! Don’t take it off.” he tried to take my hands off from removing the string.

“You’re laughing at me!”

“I’m not! Hey, I’m really not! Yah! don’t take it off!”

“I hate you!” I exclaimed. That made him stiffen. Then he looked down.

“I thought you won’t be bullying me! I thought you weren’t a bad person!” I took my legs, cover my eyes with my arms and lean on my knees, sobbing and feeling betrayed.

I really thought he’d be my friend. I really hate being made fun of.

I heard him sigh. He mumbled. “Aish. Why are kids so childish?”

“.……”

“Hey, I’m sorry.”

I cried out more. “Hu. Huhuhuhu…”

“Hey… I’m really sorry. I shouldn’t have laughed. Sorry.” he apologized.

I sniffed. He somehow feel sincere. But still, being a humiliated stubborn kid I am, I still cried out on my knees.

“Come on, kid. I’m really sorry here. Alright? I didn’t really mean to laugh that much. It’s just that I haven’t talked to anyone for the past days so… I’m really sorry. That was too much.”

He looked at me feeling guilty.

He lifted his hand and awkwardly hesitated to pat me on the back.

“H-hey… come on, don’t cry. I’m really sorry. Just don’t take the petal off.”

“How could I? I can’t even take it off!” I yelled. He whimpered.

“Come on, don’t say that. Lily petals are good for healing wounds.” he said.

I paused from crying then sniffed.

He took notice of that pause. He smiled.

“Really?” I said. Still not moving from my position.

“Yeah! That’s why I put that…atleast that’s what I read. Come on. Stop crying alright?” He mumbled a few words I couldn’t hear. And He kept rubbing my back.

“But I can’t remove it…”

“Come on! It will be off after the wound is healed!” he grinned.

“Really?” I peeked from my elbow.

He chuckled. “Yeah.”

 

In his thoughts, he found the kid cute peeking on her arms.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

After the ruckus, we sat there silently again. Taking in the scenery as the dark sky darken and turn gray then to a gradient of lightening indigo.

 

A flash of blue passed by the sky.

The older kid gasps and quickly, he clasped his hands together and leaned his head on it.

My young self don’t know what he’s doing but i silently copied anyway. After a while, he peeked on me with one eye.

“What did you wish for?” his hair flew everywhere but he’s glowing from all the moonlight behind him.

I couldn’t help but be blinded. Not by the light but his warm gentleness.

No one has ever talk to me like he does. Not even the neighbors who mommy says are kind.

Chilling breeze howled. His cross necklaces chimed.

I shivered but kept myself still. It would be better to absorb the cold than fight against it, my young self thought.

“I didn’t.” i managed to say despite the involuntary fast clicking of my teeth.

He kept his eyes at me and hummed in understanding.

“I see.”

It was a long comfortable quiet. Maybe because we’re tired and sleepy.

He felt different.

He turned back on the ocean.

 

I felt as if i did something wrong. As if I betrayed him and let him down at that moment. Maybe it was just me who felt comfortable.

I was ashamed i didn’t do the same thing he did. I should’ve wished too.

He made a clicking sound and sighed unknowingly.

I lowered my head in disappointment. Tears welling up on the corners of my eyes.

 

“Aren’t you gonna turn back home?” he asked.

I blinked. I’m not gonna cry.

I have disappointed someone again.

“The sun is rising.”

He stood up.

“We’ve been talking for a while now but I still don’t know your name.” he said.

“Uh, I’m sorry. D-did I do something bad again?” I asked. I looked up at him.

“Hmm?” he tilted his head. He perked up then grinned.

“Oh, no. It’s just that…” he looked away. As if he has something on his mind that he can’t tell.

“Well, it’s already dawn. Aren’t you gonna go back home?”

That cleared it up for me.

“Oh… I will.” I stood up.

I looked up at him and we both stared at each other.

He really is a highschooler. He’s tall.

And more adult than I am.

 

Our eyes shared a knowing gaze.

“Will I see you again?” I spoke up.

He chuckled a bit.

 

“aww~ what a sweetie. Hey, are you missing me already?” he put up that conceited face. For the past hours we’ve been talking, I think that we’ve become friends already. I know that adults say words that their faces don’t mean.

 

“Yes.” I answered honestly. That cut off his chuckling.

 

He looks at me straight in the eyes and 3 seconds later he can’t look at me again.

 

“You’re one of the people I like. Be proud you got in.”

He breathes in and laughed again.

His eyes waver. I know cause I can’t take mine off of him.

 

“Will I see you again?” I asked one more time. I want to hear him answer that before I go.

“Can I ask what’s your name?” He met my eyes. I blinked.

 

“You didn’t answer me! I won’t tell you if you don’t answer me first.” I crossed my arms.

“Yah! I was the one who asked first! I asked you what your name is but you didn’t answer! Aish. Never mind then, you brat.”

“Answer me first! I’m just asking if I’d see you again! Why can’t you answer?!” I glared at him.

"Yah!” he stepped forward.

“Shouldn’t you answer the one who asked first? yah, you really can’t do manners, huh? aigoo… you won’t be able to find a man with that attitude.” he shook his head.

“Yah! What are you talking about?! That doesn’t have anything to do with my attitude!” I defended.

“Wait till you grow you little dwarf.” he grabbed my head.

“No one will like grumpy kids.” he smirked.

“Aish.” I clicked my tongue. His eyes turned wide.

“Yah, did you just click your tongue on me?” he messed with my hair.

“Well, you kept doing that! Take your hands off of me!”

“I won’t! I’ll keep messing you hair if you won’t tell me your name.”

 

And he really kept on doing that. We chased around the place, playing around till we get tired. I really felt as if my hair are barely there.

 

“Let’s stop this! How dare you yank a girl’s hair?!” I glared at him. He stuck his tongue out and laugh.

“Uggh. How childish.” I glared at him.

He laughed at that. “Woaah. Says the grown up child!” he sarcasticly added.

“Thank you for clarifying that.”

He bobbed his head up and chortled.

 

“.…. Rai”

 

“Huh?” he grinned widely at me, still laughing.

I sniffed and put my chin up. “It’s Rai. My name.” I looked away in embarrassment.

 

The moment I said my name, he looked at me and his aura changed.

He smiled yet it felt very sad,

 

“Well, what I wished is for us to meet again, Rai.” he said while staring at the sky.

And at the rising Sun.

 

I looked up at him.

 

“Can you turn around and go back home now?”

 

It was because of his abrupt change that I couldn’t ask my side of questions.

 

“Uh, yes.”

 

“That’s good. Don’t follow me, alright?” I thought about what he meant until he did what he did.

 

I won’t forget the grin he gave me before he took off his red scarf and wrapped it around me, ruffling my hair again.

 

And then suddenly, he jumps off the cliff.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The next day, The whole cabin is in chaos. They were talking about what happened at the house across the cabin.

Police cars stopped by and two adults were taken by the police. I saw their hands bind together by handcuffs.

I know handcuffs. My parents made me wear them too.

 

“Those two killed their child. I heard someone saw them pushing their child on the cliff.”

“are you talking about that body of a boy they found 1 week ago?”

“Oh god, how could they kill their child? Aren’t they christians? I often met them on church.”

“I know, right?! they found 3 cross necklaces with the kid’s and parents’ names so the police quickly identified the body.”

“Oh god.”

“I heard they beat up the kid everyday. I should have called the cops earlier before that happened to the poor kid.”

“The world is getting worse.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I didn’t even find out his name.

Nor how old is he.

Nor what he was doing on that place.

Nor when will we see each other again.

 

I couldn’t ask because after I found out about the news, I quickly run to that cliff again and found no one.

 

Because, before I even went to that town, you weren’t already there.

 

You don’t even know what you did to me.

I couldn’t even thank you for it.

 

If not for you,

If you didn’t tell me to go back and not follow you,

I would be the one jumping off.

 

I thought you want someone to talk to.

Guess you don’t want that someone to be me.

 

I breathe in on the red scarf you gave me.

I discovered a tattoo on the red string you wrapped around my head

 

‘Memento Vivere”

A latin for Remember to live.

 

 

For years, i went back to that cliff to find a trace of him.

 

And today I found him.

 

A bed of white lilies.

 

On the same spot we sat on before he jumped.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A flash of blue passed by the morning sky.