chapter one; cynosure.

»  Alaia 

“Good luck on your trip! Call me once you land, alright?” I watched those words ghost past my mother’s mouth. Like, is she serious? She’s just letting my dad do this to me—and I’m barely even at the point of being independent by myself. I’m pretty sure I just let those words penetrate my other ear, and past out my other one. “Alaia, are you listening?” A small sigh rolled past my lips, before I twitched them up into a small frown. “Okay but mom, how could you just let me go there alone? I barely talked to auntie and, and I don’t like her” I muttered, jutting out my lower lip into a small pout, hoping—just a little that maybe she’d ask me not to step my foot on that plane and maybe ask me to just stay here in America.

“Stop overthinking and acting like a baby! This is exactly why your dad wanted you to go finish your college back at Korea, alone” does she not realize the horror of the word “alone”. Someone could easily just break into my apartment or so, knowing myself that I’d forget to lock my windows and doors. I mean, it would’ve made me feel better if one of my best friend came with me—but unlike my father, his parents actually support him on his dream, and was even glad to send him to his chosen university to pursue his studies.

And so, here I am, sitting on the aisle section of the plane. One empty space between me and this guy wearing a white hoodie, his mouth slightly gaped as he leaned back resting his back completely against the back seat of the plane chair. God he’s y. , what am I thinking? I mean, the way his adams apple would bob as his heavy breathing perfectly drill deep down my eardrums. For a second, I thought he was crying on the way his chest would heavily rise as he breathes. As if on a cue, he read my mind, he immediately turned to face me, his eyes boring deep in me. Holy , was I staring too long?! Did he notice? His orbs shaking and dilating at the same time. I’m pretty sure I was staring back at him with my jaw unhinged in such an untamed manner. I mean, I never meant to stare at this glorious piece of guy.  It’s not me, not at all. But he— “would you mind changing seats?” he cuts off.

» Jaehyun

I watched as her brows furrowed together, eyes boring back at me—I don’t know why, or what’s the reason behind her stares since I was completely engrossed with the way I was trying to calm myself down. It’s just a plane ride. I kept reminding myself. And I’m pretty sure at one point at a time, I hear the engine of the plane jumble and growl emitting a loud sound which I know, scared the crap out of me. I’d rather starve for 9 days than ride this trip alone, without my family.

Her head tilted onto the side, and she’s probably unaware of it—but all I could make up from everything is that she’s confused as to why I asked that question all of a sudden. “Sure?” she mumbled, unaware as she mumbled questioningly with a hint of confusedness evident on her voice. “Thank you, it means a lot.” I huffed back just before I pushed myself up from where I was sitting to transfer onto the aisle spot. At least I get to distract myself with these cabin crews instead? Different possible scenarios started clouding up my mind, and it didn’t help once realization has hit me that the plane was already moving, about to take off.

“Excuse me, please don’t mind me asking, but—“ the girl sitting beside me started, only to pause mid-sentence as she pursed her lips the moment I turned my head back to her direction to face her. “Yes, I’m scared of heights.” I finished off. I felt my face heat up at that moment, and at the same time I felt a knot in my stomach forming. It felt sickening and embarrassing at the same time. Sickening because I know the surface of the plane is now meters high above the ground. I felt my muscles tense up just as my stomach started churning. The sign on the left says keep your seat belt on and before this moment has had happened, I can remember from the back of my head that a cabin crew instructed that at all cost, no one would ing unfasten their belt—let alone go to the lavatory. “Holy I think I’m gonna ing pass out—“I retorted, albeit knowing that instead of saying it mentally, I may have just announced it for everyone to hear. I felt my face and my body grow cold at the uprising tension. Holy this works better than hallucination.

But just when I’m about to hit that “stance” of passing out, I felt my head hit something hard—and when I look up it was the girl sitting beside me. Has she gone mad? She totally disregarded the rules and stood up to settle beside me, to what? And that’s when I felt her hand slowly creep up onto the back of my head, as if running her fingers through my hair to soothe me down. She had a small smile curled onto her lips, yet you can never erase the “odd” look on her face as if questioning and contemplating all her life choices, albeit why she ended up next to me. I wanted to say something—protest, tell her that I’m usually not like this and that I’m manly--- and holy she smells so good.

I got knocked off from my trance of thought from the floral smell that had a hint of vanilla in her scent. It smelled so good I could admit it distracted me from my thoughts. And that’s what I last remember, before I dozed off to a deep sleep. Just when I wanted to stay up, the effects of sleeping pills kicked in.

» Alaia

“Hey! Wake up” I nudged him using my shoulders which he’s leaning at. The crew had announced that we’re 30 minutes away from landing and this person’s still deep in his sleep. Although I’m not complaining. I mean, the guy’s good looking. I pressed my lips together, pursing it into a thin line as I watch him slowly stir from his sleep, pulling away from my frame as he leaned back, still groggy.

The rest of the flight was just us being silent, the awkward tension probing up delayed. We had a small time to eat our left meals before the take off so we hurriedly finished ours. After the landing, I had collected my stuff from the compartment above our seats. I silently followed the guy towards the exit of the plane. Really? You won’t say thank you at all? I squinted my eyes, borrowing it at the back of his head as we finally stepped out of the aircraft. I walked passed him, wanting to see whether he’d notice me or not and I swear on my peripheral vision, I saw him turn towards me but he was quickly whisked away but other people. Or men. . I cursed, gritting my teeth. I should’ve asked his name. Would’ve made a friend.  

“Jaehyun, Jaehyun, Jaehyun!” screaming and cheering were loud, but what’s more louder was the voice inside my head, grumbling, roaring. “Should’ve asked his name.”