"Who could deny these butterflies?"

I stared at the picture of us, smiling lightly as I grasp your beautiful  smile that you always wore whenever you we were together. That smile that would sometimes pop out nowhere just because of such little things even I didn't understand.

Do you still smile so brightly like this?

With my arm wrapped around your shoulders and foreheads rested together while we faced each other with smiles etched in our faces, you looked so happy, you looked so bright, you looked so inlove. Am I right?

Were you also in love with me at that moment?

I sighed softly, running my thumbs through the picture of you, I miss seeing that smile. How your eyes would disappear and turn into joyfull cresents, how your lips would stretch widely along with your soft giggle that would always seem to be music to my ears, and how I love the fact that I would always be the cause of that smile of yours.

Am I still the one who could make you smile so brightly?

But who am I kidding, right? You were always so persistent that you didn't believe in unexplained things like love. Even though I would tell you a hundred, even a thousand times, that I was, that I am still in love with you. I always showed you how I felt, showered you with everything I had even though I knew it would never be enough. To you, everything I did was never enough, but that would never mean that I would give up. No one, not even you, could deny me these butterflies that I felt whenever you're around.

I looked around the park, smiling at the thoughts that filled my head. I remembered how much time we spent together here. We would always laugh at the simpliest of things. We would tease each other non-stop which would always end up with me chasing after as you laughed so freely. I remember the pout that you would wear whenever I teased you about your height although you would never know how much I loved it because of the fact that you would always fit so perfectly in my arms.

I remember the way you would lie down, your head resting on my lap, in this very bench that I currently sat down. You would stare at the blue skies, going on and on about the different shapes that you saw through the clouds. And there, I would just listen to you, word for word, enjoying the way you depict every little expression that only I could see.

I was the luckiest man alive..

To be able to feel this indescribable feeling.
To be able to hear such alluring voice that always made my heart beat faster.
To be the only one able to hold such ineffable beauty

Yes, I was the luckiest man alive
But also, I was the dumbest of them all

I sighed, shaking my head as I stood up. I am such a disappointment even for myself, I am such a fool to let you go. I should have begged you to stay, I should have did everything that I could to make you change your mind. But my pride, I let my stupid pride get ahead of me. I just turned and walked away, not knowing what to do in life when you're no longer in it. And now I'm here, regretting the fact that I didn't do anything. Here I am, still searching, still going on my desperate endeavor just to find you.

Even if dozens of them had told me that you already left.
Even if hundreds of them told me you were never coming back
I would still be here, trying to find you

I continued to walk through these familiar paths, looking for something that would somehow bring you back. Looking for any thing that would lead me towards you or maybe I was just simply looking out for you.

I don't know what I should do anymore. I don't know where should I go. I have been lurking these places, going around, walking back and forth, shuffling in the dark corners and asking a lot of people the same question that I had asked them just the day before.

Have you seen this person?

I would always end up getting the same answers, I would always end up disappointed at those people, I would always end up being disappointed at myself.

This was my routine, every single damn day, it was my routine.

I don't know if I had gone completely crazy without me noticing it myself. If I had been crazy since the day you had left and I was just still in the denial stage or if I had just been crazy from the very beginning. May it be crazy in the head or crazy in love, as long as you're the reason, I would gladly accept it.

I was about to call it a day.

I was already fixing my things, taking out my wallet and placing the picture of us safely inside the pocket. I stuffed a dozen cans of beer into my bag before slinging it onto my shoulder.

I was about to go home and drown myself in alcohol, ready face another sleepless night with thoughts of you.

Yes, I was about to fail myself once again.

But I felt that today was different, I felt that something about this day just seemed so.. off. And I just needed to find out why.

That's when I turned around, that's when I decided that maybe a few more hours of looking around wouldn't be so bad. That maybe I would find something that would be a huge help.

And I actually did..

Someone finally approached me, looking at me as if he had just found something that would change my life and I stood there waiting for him to speak. He smiled at me softly before pointing at a certain direction.

"Is that the man you had been looking for?"

With these words, I immediately turned around. My heart beating faster than it usually does, my eyes widening than they usually do and my breath hitched as I stopped breathing for a while.

There, I saw the man in my dreams, the man in my memories.

He stood there, looking out of place but stood out amongst the crowd. His hair no longer blonde and was replaced by a huge fluff of pink hair. He wore a stripped sweater that was obviously larger than him, and he had worn it along with that blue cardigan I had once given him.

He looked so cold in the middle of the park, rubbing his palms together to warm himself up.

I wanted to run towards him, I wanted to hug him and tell him how much I had missed him. I wanted to tell him that I still love him more than anything.

But I stood at the same spot, stunned by the fact that finally, I found you.

Then our eyes met and there, I saw that familiar smile you always wore around me. That smile that I missed more than I thought I had. Everything just turned blindingly bright as you walked towards me, stopping a few steps away from me and there, I finally spoke;

"Jimin.." I whispered