- 01 -

Remembering Sunday

 

 " The hardest part is waking up in the morning

remembering what you were trying to forget last night" 

 

I woke up with the sound of alarm ringing off from the every corner of my room. Looking at the beside table, I sighed while I sat up before pushing the snooze button and cursing myself as a painful headache fill my head.

Groaning in pain, I flopped back down onto my back and gently massaged my temples. How much have I've been drinking last night?

I looked around my room and based on the scattered cans of alcohol, I've drank a lot. Maybe a bit too much since I passed out all on my own.

When I'm not too drunk, I would mostly be lying on my bed, staring at the ceiling with different thoughts swimming inside my head. Mocking me with my problems and confusing me in so many ways. Then I would always end up thinking about him and as if that wasn't enough, he would find his way into my dreams once I had lulled myself to sleep.

He would be standing there, gazing at me. Looking so stunning, so breathtaking as he waved towards me, gesturing for me to come closer. To walk towards him, to just be with him.

But I would never get there. I would simply walk into a never ending road towards him as he stood still at the end, still smiling at me.

 

And once..

 

Every once in a while, I would be able to come closer. A tiny bit closer towards him which would make me hope, that maybe, there was a chance of me reaching him.

But on that rare occasions, he would disappear in thin air and I would wake up, all alone in my messed up room with my hopes completely shattered.

 

These would be the moments that I would doubt what's real anymore.

 

The pain's too real, his smile's too real, the pounding of my heart whenever I saw him there was too real.. 

Everything about that damn dream was too real.

 

Shaking these thoughts out of my head, I carefully sat up and got out of my bed. I turned to look at the clock and smiled sadly as I noticed that it was only two in the morning.

I can't sleep anymore because of you.

 

 

Sizzling noises filled the kitchen as I fried two sunny side ups. Humming to myself, I turned the stove off and moved the cooked eggs onto two separate plates before sitting myself across an empty chair.

This has been my daily routine.

Cooking for two, placing food on the table for two, drinking my coffee in silence as I thought about dozen of things. And of course, it would always be about you.

I would be nostalgic about the times when we would be both sitting right across from each other, laughing our hearts out. I would always be the one to cook since you were horrible in the kitchen but that doesn't make you less perfect than you already are for me.

I would recall the way you would scrunch your nose up before drinking your coffee or taking a bite of the food. The way you would run your fingers through your hair whenever they bothered you by blocking your eyes. The way you would smile at me after every meal and thank me for the food, complimenting the way it taste that would always be delicious for you.

I would remember how your eyes twinkled and sparkled when you taste the food even though I always cooked them the same way.

Here, in this tiny little kitchen, I would always remember every little bit of you. Every little gesture and every little thing that you do.

And it's such a torture to think that it's all that I can do.

 

 

Here I am now, walking in these familiar places.

Here I am now, trying to find the person in my memories.

The person I deeply miss..

The person of my dreams..

The person I am deeply in love with..

 

But how come every time, every damn time, I asked about you. The look on their faces is something I cannot take.

That look of pity, the look of sympathy, those look of worry.

How come they appear every time I asked about you? I know that you exist, I know you're just somewhere around these places, maybe somehow waiting for me to find you.

They tried to help me, telling me to stop and just let go. A lot of them told me you were already gone but I can't let myself believe them.

Because I know for myself, you would always come back for me.

And then again, I would end up apologizing to them. Sorry for the bother, sorry for this, I'm deeply sorry for that. But I never stopped, I kept on walking and walking, I kept on running around still asking people who passed by if they knew..

If somehow they knew where you were..

Dozens of passersby, hundreds of people around, thousands of them fill this familiar places..

But no one, no one knew where you were. No one would help me find you. No one tried to point out the places where I could personally find you.

Where are you?

Where could I find you?

I don't have a map nor do I have directions towards you. I don't have anything with me but that one picture of us that you left and those memories of us being together.

Nothing was left but the dreams I kept having about you.

Those dreams that would always fill my head, those dreams that reminded me of everything I had to remember about you.

Can't you just help me make my way towards you?

Can't I just have one hint, one simple hint on where you currently are?

Maybe the name of the place, the name of the street, the name of the building or house you currently reside?

Just please help me, try to help me find you..

Because I know for myself, I'm already on the tip of the cliff, ready to fall towards the oblivion of craziness you had caused.

 

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BpDdududdudu #1
Chapter 4: Ah my sister showed me this fanfiction and I didn't know it was you that wrote it. It's so good author-nim
Xyakori
#2
Chapter 4: Ahhhhh, this is heartbreaking but fortunately this afraid of commitment got kicked the hell out and do I know how serious it can get haha. But I empathize mostly with Jungkook because I have one person like that in my life that whatever they do I can always love them and forgive them, it doesn't matter if the relationship remains platonic, I would do anything. So happy for them in the end, thank you for this story!!
ParkChimChiminie
#3
Chapter 4: Thank you author-nim.
I love this fanfic so much!!!
It's great, it made me really happy. I guess you could say that I just really loved this story. Thank you!!!
MiLijooned #4
Chapter 4: This story made my heart feel so warm , im just so glad I found it <3. Thank you.
PraePanda
#5
Chapter 3: Aaa this is good!
PraePanda
#6
Chapter 2: I'm not crying you're crying this is too beautiful and feelsy
Strawberriful
#7
Whooooaa~
PraePanda
#8
Chapter 1: Wahh, I remember before I got into BTS, ATL was like, my life. This is going to be really good, I can tell! And your grammar is really good, it's better than most of my friends' lol. I hope this story turns out good!