Hi readers, 

So this has been left hanging for a long time. I never got to write the ending but tonight I thought i better not leave it anymore. 

BUt here it is. I miss Wootae so much. 

this is an angsty piece. 

But I hope this doesn't disappoint.

Thanks for your time  

***************************************

"Fine." The words slip out of Taeyeon's mouth in a breath close to a whisper. And it is too late to take it back.

"Fine." Wooyoung repeats quietly, processing the single word - one that he hopes he was never able to comprehend. But he does. "If that's what you want, FINE!" he says more assertively, throwing his arms in the air.

Those were the last words punctuating their relationship. He is already walking away quickly and all Taeyeon could do was watch his leaving figure through her gathering tears in her eyes she refuses to let drop. But in the end, she forfeits the battle and lets out staggered cries.

As soon as the moment he had started walked away, he had left her with nothing to accompany but raw pain. She clutches a hand to her chest trying to ease the pain and the breathing.

She surrenders to the ground, crouching to hug her knees in a foetal position, but even so it does close to nothing to comfort her. Her fists are clenched, her unmanicured nails making deep marks into her palms. As much as she tells herself it is the right decision, she knows she will never be fine again.

**********************************************************

 Taeyeon lets out a sigh of relief as she opens her locker and retrieves the forgotten set of keys, more importantly the ring attached to it. Three years seems so long yet passed so quickly. She brushes her finger over the sterling silver ring, one that has stayed by her side since that day he gave it to her. Hearing approaching footsteps, she quickly places the keys into her pocket. At the same time, she hopes that whoever is coming magically decides to turn back and walk the other way. She had been avoiding this visit back to the company building on this schedule free day – otherwise a notably important day for other normal people who celebrate the love for their significant other – to avoid unwanted interaction. But as she turns to check who it is, she is surprised to see the familiar face. One that she had taken more notice of since a few months ago because he held a certain resemblance to -.

“Oh, Taeyeon Noona… you’re here…” he says both happily and awkwardly at the same time. He puts his hand at the back of his neck. Taeyeon manages a polite smile – she has always been hiding her pain behind that smile of hers.

“Oh Baekhyun ssi, hi. Yes I left something behind.” She says casually and shrugs. “You’re here for recording?”

“Yeah… I mean…no…” he hesitates trying to eat his own words again. Taeyeon takes a few steps towards the exit and stops to be polite. “I was hoping to run into you.”

“sorry?” the cluelessness is evident on her face until she considers for a moment and spots how he had one arm behind his back. Whether it was there before, she honestly did not pay enough attention but he is standing in a funny posture.

“I’ve always been a fan of yours. You sing beautifully, you’re so pretty and –

“Oh…” Taeyeon says, hoping to find a way to react other than her embarrassment “thank you for your support” she laughs nervously and bows.

“No- what I mean is. I like you not just as a fan, but as a guy.”

Taeyeon remains silent unable to find words to respond.

“coz I’ve been thinking every night before I sleep” and I have been thinking about how well she did even though she was sick. I think about it every night before I sleep. The memories of an honest slip from her fellow co-star that occurred during a recording four years ago comes back to her. “That’s how I found out.” Seeing Taeyeon still unresponsive, Baekhyun keeps talking

“I just wanted to let you know that… it’s alright if you don’t accept it… I mean I’m always so immature and childish, I want to try to be a man once, for you. So I was wondering, although I’m not in my right mind, will you be my girlfriend?”  He is speaking as fast as one of the raps in his title songs.  

Fine! The pain starts to come back to her again. “Fine.” She exhales deeply, still drowning in her memories.

“What did you say noona?”

“Fine, I’ll be your girlfriend.” Taeyeon says. I deserve a second chance, it has been so long. Perhaps I’ll be fine then.

It takes a moment for Baekhyun to register the words.

“Really noona? Like really really?”

Taeyeon nods with a smile. Taking it as an invitation, Baekhyun pulls his new girlfriend into a light hug.

“wahhhh omg noona will be my girlfriend” he yells in happiness so that it echoes off the walls. But he does not mind whether labelmates would hear because he wants the whole world to witness it. On the other hand, Taeyeon wanted to keep it to herself for now.

From today onwards, I’m officially your man. Wooyoung’s voice from the ghosts of her past resurfaces again. But Taeyeon shakes it off. Until it repeats itself and she feels the tingle on the back of her hand – the skin memory of when he brushed his lips on the back of her hand to commemorate the milestone. She hugs her arms around herself tighter to get a grip.

*****

“Noona do you have an hour? I can come and pick you up”

“oh Baekhyun ah, I’m kind of busy…” Taeyeon sighs, feeling the constricting in her chest.

“oh” hearing the dejected tone, Taeyeon feels a little sympathy for him. So she thinks of a way to cheer him up.

“oh I got your parcel,” she says as she eyes the still boxed-up mug on her desk. “Is it a couple mug?” trying to pique his interest. And it works

“Yes it is, do you like it noona?” he laughs in a coyish way.

“it’s cute.” She says with a slight smile.

“Noona, I’m using mine already. You should use it too so that when you drink, you’ll think of me”

Taeyeon smiles bitterly and does not say anything.

“Noona?”

“Sorry?”

“Remember to use it. I’ll be checking “ he says teasingly and he chuckles cheekily at the end

“uhh~” Taeyeon says, finally agreeing.

“Then you go on with your business noona. I’ll call you soon. I miss you”

“Practice hard but remember to take care of yourself”

She sighs and decides that he should at least believe that she is going to use it so she takes a picture of the mug to posts it onto her social media platforms with a thank you message.

She returns to her sketching, a sketch of a girl and a boy sitting on a bench, staring at the moon through the trees. The guy’s arm is wrapped around the girls shoulder and she is snugly resting her head in the warm of her embrace.

She stares at the night sky she had just painted with watercolour. As she picks up her brush, she chooses a golden colour and begins brushing on how she feels in the picture. For she knew exactly that this is a representation of the park just next to her dormitory, she remembers the feeling of resting on his shoulder and how he wraps his scarf – that she had knitted for him – around her as well. She remembers exactly that they were staring at nothing more than the moon among bare skeleton of the trees. But it felt like the best view ever. Staring at the picture, she looks at the canopy of leaves she had just painted gold. That’s how it made her feel. Warm inside.

Yoona enters the room to give her unnie her package of new watercolours that had just arrived in the mail. She stares at the painting from over Taeyeon’s shoulder. There is a sparkle in her eyes upon recognising something. But she doesn’t say anything.

“You haven’t painted such warm paintings for a while now unnie” she notes trying to disguise the sadness with a whimsical tone. She flips the package over to make sure the address is visible to Taeyeon. There is no way she doesn’t’ recognise that

 “It’s that time of the year?” Taeyeon simply asks. She has been receiving this for the past few years even though… well they are still (pretending to be) friends. Friends that do not talk anymore.

“I haven’t been counting either.” Yoona says cheekily. “But we do have plans for your special day that I am not allowed to disclose.”

***

One particular night after practising endlessly for their new choreography, Taeyeon sees 11 messages waiting for her attention. As she unlocks her phone, instead of reading them, she opts to scroll through her applications aimlessly before locking her phone again. 

Just as she is about to walk away after placing her phone down, it starts vibrating, unsettling the wary Taeyeon and disrupting the solitude of the now empty practice room. At first glance, it appears to be a number that is not registered as a contact in her phonebook. But to Taeyeon, it is a number she would even be able to remember backwards in the middle of her sleep.

She does not realise that she had been holding her breath. There is a trembling in her chest, and it is starting to affect her coordination as she shakily reaches to answer the call. She places the phone cautiously to her ear, pressing her phone to her ear.

There is just silence so she reciprocates and waits. It takes a few moments before she hears the subtle sigh (perhaps she imagines that he chuckles satirically at himself).

“It’s me.”

Taeyeon can only bring herself to blink. She feels the threatening swelling sensation behind her eyes.

I know she thinks, biting the inside of her lip a little too tightly.

But he seems to hear her unspoken answer so he continues.

“It’s been a long time hasn’t it?” he sighs again, seeming to be in the same situation as her – at a loss for words.

“Have you been well?” he asks cautiously. Taeyeon clenches her fist – and only realises when she feels the pain of her nails digging into the tender skin of her palms.

No.  

“I’m fine. You?”

“When have you not been?” he jokes sarcastically “I only learnt…” he heaves a sigh before continuing “after you, that that word has a wholly opposite meaning when it comes from a girl’s mouth.”  

Taeyeon tries to ignore the gentle shudder she feels through her spine at hearing the word ‘after’.

“Well, you do learn something new every day, don’t you?” she chuckles lamely at her attempt to respond. And then there is just silence again, and as Taeyeon listens carefully, she can hear his breathing through the receiver. And she leans her head back onto the wall behind her. It feels as if half an hour had passed by, when in fact, it has perhaps only been a few minutes.

“Thanks for the watercolours. I got the package two days ago.”

“It’s about time you needed to restock.” He says and Taeyeon can tell that he is smiling merely from the sound of his voice. Taeyeon brushes her fingers over her first set (the set she had just used to paint that picture). Taeyeon smiles bitterly, ignoring the dredging feeling in her chest. ‘I cannot bring myself to use them.’ But she knows better than to voice it out loudly. 

They mingle in shallow conversation (as if making up for the time they have not been in contact) but also consciously avoiding treading into deeper waters. As they both wish each other well and ask each other to take care, Taeyeon pulls her phone away from her ear and waits until the call ends (or for him to end the call). Inside, Taeyeon knows that the end of this call would mean that there would probably never be another ever again.

A couple of days later, she receives the lyrics and demo to her newly assigned OST duet. The result of her recording was an ‘impressive and deeply emotional’ one as their music arranger had described it. Of course. How can she possibly forget the feelings she held, picking up that phone call just a few nights ago.

***

On the night of a special birthday, Taeyeon drives off to meet her boyfriend in the middle of the night. As she waits for his arrival, she stares blankly at the neatly wrapped box.

It is a present that he had wanted. After all it was not that hard to find out from his team members. However, as they reach a distance away (in search of privacy) he musters up the courage to ask for the bequest in his own cheeky way.

‘it’s my special day noona, can’t I get something a little more?’

At first Taeyeon is nothing but confused. But she catches her off guard when he says

“kiss…?”

She knew if she spoke, she would not be able to hide the amount of reservation in her tone. Trying and failing to think of an appropriate evasion, in the end she gives up especially after seeing his expectant expression. And so she leans over the passenger’s seat of the car and plants a hasty peck on his cheek.

Little did she know that that little encounter would cost her another turning point in her life?

***

Like it often is, the bedroom is dark, only with the light of her phone which illuminates every few minutes with notifications and messages of concern and care. But tonight was different. She huddles herself to the very corner of her bed and leans on the wall. In a foetal position. Clutching tightly to her covers and hugging her knees.

She still feels the after effects of the adrenaline previously running in her body. Now her stomach is in an upset state. Her mind is nothing but numb after all the reeling of the surrealism of the entire situation.

Yoona, Sooyoung and Tiffany offering their comfort from their understanding. The other members also in utmost sympathy.

Yet the most damage were from the comments (ones calling both her and her boyfriend liars and anything else horrible) left everywhere. She stares wide-eyed at the news articles, tear stains dried out on her cheeks. She shuns herself to the comforts of her room even which fails to do its one and only job – provide shelter, protection and solitude.

However, one call had reached through the idle state with the special ringtone set to it.

She picks it up, ever so frailly

“are you alright?”

And her tears just fall like that. Unable to stop herself. She sobs. The caller on the other end hearing her sniffing and he feels the pain emanating through nothing but the soundwaves which connect them over the receiver. An ache he is unable to dismiss.

Taeyeon shakes her head over the phone.

But he feels that as well telepathically.

In response, he shows nothing but a patience and silence as he stays with her over the phone, listening to each other’s breathing and Taeyeon’s sobbing.

He was supposed to make you happy. Wooyoung whispers inside his mind. He squeezes his eyes shut in pain as tears seep through. He leans his head on the wall helplessly. 

It's ironic, they both think. Never has Wooyoung seen this side of Taeyeon. And the truth is, Taeyeon never showed it, no matter how hard Wooyoung tried. Whenever he did, he was merely pushed away. He kept trying to reach in whenever she tried to lock everyone else out. Until one day, he gave up trying.

*******

As Taeyeon and Baekhyun break away from their goodnight hug, Taeyeon makes sure to show him a smile to thank him. She is finally starting to get used to this. But there is always something that seems out of place. And she pretends that she does not know the answer for that.

She waits in front of the entrance, waving at her boyfriend who turns back every few steps to wave at her again and again. As he disappears past the hedges around the corner. She turns to put the code into the entrance. But her fingers freeze just before pressing the code. She closes her eyes to reminisce a certain pastime that gave her the comfort to be able to fall asleep.

Wooyoung disappears around the corner after waving goodnight to her once and then coolly walking off. Taeyeon holds back from smiling as she turns around to punch the code into the entrance.

A few moments later, she feels a pair of arms wrap around her small frame, locking her arms to her body in a comfortable back hug. A startled gasp escapes her lips under her breath. But the surprise on her face is replaced by a smug smile as she leans back into her boyfriend.

“we said goodnight and everything already.”

“I already miss you.”

“Well, you can do what you always did.”

“And what’s that?” he says squeezing her tighter into his embrace.

“you said you think about me every night before you sleep. Is that true?”

“You still haven’t let that one go? It’s been almost two years since that Win Win moment.” He says.

Taeyeon shifts herself free from his grip, and turns around to face him.

“You still haven’t answered me yet.” Taeyeon complains.

“what?”

“is that true?”

“You want to know?” Wooyoung asks. Taeyeon gives a firm nod. “Close your eyes then.”

He leans down in and plants a kiss on her forehead.

Taeyeon still remembers till today the tickling sensation of his lips on her skin. It suddenly strikes her causing her to rummage through her bag searching. She flips and turns all the contents of her bag to try and look for her keys. She shakes it, and thre is no sign of the rattling of them. While, sticking her hand into keep searching, she walks as she looks on the ground, back towards the way she came.

She turns the corner and keeps looking until she finds, a person running to her.

“What’s wrong noona?”

“oh, have you seen my –“ says in between her frantic search

Baekhyun dangles them in front of her face as she was still looking to the ground. She reaches too quickly for them, ending up snatching them from him. She sighs in relief until. But it is all taken back as soon as she realises that what she was looking for was not there.

“Baekhyun ah, have you seen the ring that was attached to it?” Taeyeon says as she starts searching ont eh ground again.

“Where did you find this?” she asks after hearing no response. So she heads off in the direction of his car.

“Noona.”

“Oh?” She responds but does not turn around, still heading hastily to the car.

“Noona.” He calls again.

“Not now, I can’t lose this” she says. So Baekhyun runs to catch up to her.  He holds out his open palm in front of her and she finally stops searching. When she reaches for it, straightens up and looks back at Baekhyun, her tear filled eyes say it all apologetically. But Baekhyun does the honours for her.

And she cannot say how forever thankful she is to him.

“You only ever said yes to me because I reminded you of him right?”

“what do you mean?” she says in between tears.

“Your ring Noona, the engraving”

“I’m sorry Baekhyun ah.”

“I think you still haven’t ….”

“I thought I could Baekhyun, I tried. But…”

“You just haven’t forgotten.”

Taeyeon continues to cry. Her lips are pursed tightly together and she remains speechless.

“I know I’m not right for you Noona, so what’s right for us is for us to let this go.” He laughs painfully, swallowing the lump in his throat. “it never really was something anyway. I thank you for giving me a chance.”

Taeyeon tries to stop the tears from flowing but just can’t. Her sentence comes out broken.

“And …thank - for every…thing. Sorry. ”

****

Around a month later, the headlines breakout on the news sites.  

‘it has been confirmed by close friends to the couple that taeyeon and Baekhyun has come to an  amicable end in their relationship.’  

Taeyeon keeps her phone by her side all day – waiting for the phone call. It finally arrives at around 9 in the evening.  

She picks up. Wooyoung remains silent. She exhales heavily before talking very slowly.

“I’m … alright.” She says, pinching her blanket. She knows he is listening on the other end. Feeling the air around her getting heavier, she looks up to the ceiling hoping to delay the tears falling out.   “Really.” She gulps before continuing her sentence.

“So please don’t worry.”

Her voice pulls the strings in his heart, inflicting a pain that only she has only been able to give him. Wooyoung stays on the line, waiting. His fingers play with a loose thread from his sleeve.

As he listens, he tries to think of the appropriate words of comfort. But he opts to do what he does best. He passes a joke.

“I wasn’t worried.” He simply says. It earns her soft laughter.

“Gee. Yeah, that’s why you called.”

“Yes because I need to use more of my unlimited calls before they run out.” He says throwing another joke to stir her laughter. Although she is laughing, she seems to have lost that side of her where she laughs in a carefree manner. You’ve gone through so much. I wasn't there to protect you. So now you have changed yourself to try to protect yourself.

“oh gosh…” she says in between her chuckling. That was when an impulse inside him made the question he wanted to ask, slip out

“Why?” he cuts her laughing off.

“Sorry what?” Taeyeon’s adrenaline rushes through her limbs. How can I possibly tell you that I couldn’t let go of you?

“Why did you and him…”

“Sorry I have to go.” She says excusing herself. “thanks for yrou call.” She says. Cutting the conversation short, she hangs up before he can even answer. And their relationship is back to where it was before. Nullified. Or even less than that.

***

Hyoyeon Yuri and Yoona are watching I can see your voice in the Soshi dormitory.  They pause it to continue laughing before rewinding to watch it again. They cackle and giggle, slapping each other, holding onto their stomachs as they fall into endless fits of laughter.

So when Taeyeon walked out of her room and into the living room, they didn't realise they had company.

“Oh Taeyeon unnie!” Yoona gasps, as she realises the extra presence. Yoona sneaks a sideway glance and sighs in relief to find that the screen is paused on the audience of the show.

“Oh Taeyeon ah, you were home?” Hyoyeon asks curiously.

“Yeah. I was home all along.” She replies casually.

Yuri and Yoona look behind her towards the open door of her room. They hear the soulful music playing from inside her room.

“What are you all watching?” Taeyeon asks curiously. “you have been laughing for almost 20 minutes now. Hyoyeon’s unfiltered honest mind speaks too fast

“oh, 2pm is so fun-“ Hyoyeon starts but gets interrupted by Yoona who nudges her in the hip. Hyoyeon finally gets the message. Yoona looks at Yuri who is equally cautious and shakes her head. Yuri reaches for the remote control.

Taeyeon looks from Hyoyeon to Yuri to Yoona and then back again. She notices the intense silence and decides to try and write it off.

“If it's that funny I want to watch too.”

“But taeyeon ah,” Yuri interjects. But Taeyeon has already gained possession of remote, searches the history to play it.

The four of them watch as Jun. K lip-synchs to his own song, but with the microphone metres away. In between moments, Yoona would turn to check on Taeyeon and how she was handling it especially when Wooyoung attempts to mock Jun K. 

Taeyeon laughs as well, but next thing she knows she is crying, not from laughing so hard as she claims to the others - but from releasing a tension from the bottom of her heart. She takes the chance when the girls are once again slapping their knees and rolling on the floor laughing to wiper her tears. She catches Yoona staring at her and she wipes her tears.

“Oh dear, I'm laughing so hard I'm crying.” She says in between chuckles. “I’m going to get some water.”

Later on, when Taeyeon re-enters her room, Yoona is sitting on her bed. Yoona does not even wait for Taeyeon to question why she is there.

“You miss him Unnie.” She says simply. 

“What are you talking about?” Taeyeon tries playing dumb as she turns around to pick up a fallen hanger on the floor.

“I saw your face when you watched him.” Yoona continues explaining. Taeyeon pauses in her tracks.  “I saw the tears and more importantly…” Taeyeon can hear Yoona trying to control her breathing. When she says her next words, Yoona is trying to swallow her tears. “The pain”

Yoona always manages to see right through her pretences, and secretly she is thankful for that.

“Unnie, don't do that yourself.” Yoona pleads, tears still streaming down her face.

 With a painful smile, and trying to hold back her own tears, Taeyeon replies,

“Funny coming from you. Are you going to tell Changmin or not?

“Don’t try to change the topic. He’s doing military service and I have nothing to tell him.”  

“Don't lie, I saw the way you looked at each other at the Halloween party. You've always been looking at each other that way. It has never changed.”

“A lot of things have changed unnie.” Yoona says, and releasing a sad sigh.  

“I agree…” Taeyeon Says regretfully.

“But.” Yoona interjects. “Some things never do.”

“There's no such thing Yoona.”

“But what if Wooyoung oppa had always been waiting for you to admit it's not fine?”

“There’s a lot of what i-“

“Just what if?” Yoona presses. Taeyeon cannot bring herself to answer. Because it is a question she has been asking deep down for a period of time now – one she keeps pushing aside.

***

Since a long time now, Taeyeon has shied herself away from the public world and has found comforts in her own room. People even start to call her the house fairy because she never seems to leave.

But today is different, she received a demo track for her planned upcoming album. The producers words keep echoing in her mind.

“This album is about you as Taeyeon as a person. We need to hear your inner voice. This is about how you really feel. This needs to be the hit. Your voice and your emotions need to be felt. This is the demo track, there are no lyrics for it yet. This one is for you, so it is on you.”

After listening to the demo track, she feels lost and empty, unable to collect a way to colour the song. For the past half hour, she has been searching through all the puzzles, games and pastels she has but is unable to settle on one thing to do. She opens the bottom drawer to her cupboard, one she does not usually open. She glances at the sets of watercolours (all from the one person), a set of brushes and an art diary. Slowly, she slides the drawer closed again. But in the end, she decides to open it, and retrieve the art diary.

This particular art diary belonged to a special time of his and hers. She flips through the first few pages. There are paintings of faded memories, left untouched in washed colours. There was a picture of them, walking down the street at night with linked hands – at an undisturbed time. The next was a loose page inserted by her, a gift from him. He had tried to recreate Taeyeon’s artistic ability and had attempted to draw the two of them. It was either his famous sense of humour or lack of artistic ability that the picture is more like a cartoon with misrepresented proportions – of big heads and small bodies. But nevertheless, it was a treasure for Taeyeon. She flicks forward to a painting where the guy is handing the girl a box, a ring in particular. It seems like an expected gift between a couple. But it had brought Taeyeon to tears. He had even engraved their initials on it. She reaches towards her makeshift pendant, the ring that used to hang as part of her keys and she touches it slowly. She bites back the tickling sensation behind her nose and the tingling behind her eyes.

She flips to the most recent, the picture painted upon a memory of them sitting in the park together. Finally she brings herself to a new blank page. Picking up a lead pencil, she decided to go back to basics and starts sketching. No colours, nothing else.

Her start to form the outline of a face, the hair. She does not think too much and starts to draw the eyes, then slowly the nose, the lips. Staring back at her was the reflection of someone she once knew deeply, a reflection of what she needed most in her heart.

She closes her eyes.

‘this is about how you really feel.’ The producers’ words repeat again in her mind. With her eyes still closed, she frowns tightly, as if trying to concentrate. ‘Fine.’ The memory she tried to force out most for the past few years of that painful night. “If that’s what you want, FINE.” It’s his voice, and her mind replays the imagery of him leaving her crumbling behind.  

She writes the words that suddenly come from the bottom of her heart, at the bottom corner of the page.

‘it’s not fine.’

She stares at the picture, and pauses. It takes her a moment of staring almost blankly at the picture of Jang Wooyoung. Her hands start shaking as she tries to cover her eyes before the first tears leak. She drops the art diary and hugs her legs closer to her body. Still unable to stop the pain.

****

As her producers and company had planned, the response to the release of her song was a success. They could hear the innermost words she wanted to say – the first lyrics written by her but then revised by the producers. But there was one person she wanted to listen to it most. And by night time, her impatience peaks. She decides to make the first step – sending a text with no greeting or anything.

We need to meet.

After sending the text, she worries that he may not know what that means. It used to code for their meeting place as well. And he was the only one who knew where it meant. But her worries are put to a pause as the reply turns up very shortly.

Meet me there in 20 minutes.

Taeyeon clasps her shaking hands together and releases a staggered sigh.

She takes her keys, now with no ring on it. Wearing a coat that he had once given her, she makes it out of the dormitory safe and undisturbed – to the park where it had all ended.

She is early, as she sits on the swings despite the chilling weather. But he turns up before the expected time as well, hearing his footsteps approach she clings onto the chains of the swing nervously.

“So you really think I will fit on the baby swing?” his humour hasn’t changed. Taeyeon looks down at her feet quietly, before slowly standing up.

“long time no see.” She starts by slowly saying.

“you’re the one who didn’t want to see me.” Wooyoung says upfront.

“that’s not entirely true.” Taeyeon says, looking down at her feet again. When she looks up at him again, it is hard for Wooyoung to miss the sparkle of the tears in her eyes. She tries to look away, hoping that it would slow the tears from falling.

“I’m sorry.”  She says under breath. And the tears quickly trickle off her complexion as she closes her eyes.

Wooyoung bites his bottom lip, to try to ease the striking pain in his chest. He tries to blink back the swelling sensation behind his eyes.

“I’m sorry t-” he starts,

“I don’t think I can do this anymore.” She breaks. “I thought I'd be ok, I tried to convince myself that I was alright without you.” She swallows back the lump in . “But I only realised, without you, it’s not fine.”

He does not say anything after she finishes. He puts his hands on his hips and sighs deeply. He looks up towards the sky before finding his words.

He looks at Taeyeon, tear stains now showing under the lamplight.

“After all this time” he can feel his voice threatening to break. Sobbing uncontrollably, Taeyeon covers with her hand to try and hold the pain.

“I’m – sorry” she manages to say in between sobs. She closes her eyes, still trying to stop the tears. She turns to face away from Wooyoung. She hugs herself to try and ease the sobs and she continues.

It was after a moment or so before she feels his arms tightly wrapping around hers from behind. He pulls her in tightly. The feeling is so familiar yet distant – she only thought she could only relive it through her memories.

He leans his head onto her shoulder. Also, crying in silence. But he manages to collect his words.

“After all this time. I have been waiting for you to admit that.”

He pulls her to face him again, tightly against his chest. He tries to pat her back to soothe her. He leans down and plants a kiss on her forehead, a wordless message that tells her it’s alright now. Taeyeon nods quietly, through her tears. And she knows that after all these years of denial and twists and turns. She will be fine again. Back in his arms.