she was made of thick sweaters and coffee dates.

//

Autumn. The seasons fade but everything else blooms in shades of amber and gold. 

Nayoung sat quietly on a bench, her eyes glued on the shedding tree over her seat. It was almost bare, the rough bark exposed, and the leaves--little enough to count--clung on for perhaps another week at most. Some of them had scattered themselves around her feet, and on her shoes. Nayoung gave a little kick, sending them lightly into the air again. 

Then she sighed, her gaze darting around the park nervously.  

Sejeong was late. 

And noon was already here.

But luckily, Nayoung found that an hour melted by quickly when she had nothing else but Sejeong on her mind. 

Her fingers wrapped themselves around the edge of the bench, bored thumbs picking at the grooves in the wood, the memory of the texture of her seat left on the pads of her fingers. She had a sweater on but it was still cold, and Nayoung stifled a shiver. 

Thoughts entered and left her mind as she observed strangers in the park; people watching--a lady pushing her kid in the pram, a dog running loose in the neatly mowed field, an eldery couple taking a quiet stroll. 

A girl waiting under a tree for her date to arrive. 

And Nayoung spent the time pondering over them. 

They were like little pockets of possibilities, or perhaps things she wanted to do, and Nayoung reveled in the sport of picking them apart. 

Two glasses of iced coffee. A cafe, sitting under warm coloured lights. Hands piled over each other, fingers slipping through the gaps. Her voice enters Nayoung's mind--slightly raspy, gentle, music to her ears. 

Nayoung smiled to herself, and another thought enters. 

Sunshine, sand sinking between their toes. Sejeong pulls her into the water and it rises to her waist. They play like kids, ringing laughter, and skinship is abundant. Her sun-kissed skin, a pretty shade of tan, fills her eyes and it becomes all she could see. 

Here's another. 

Tick. Past midnight with unfinished homework strewn across the floor. Legs tangled, fingers intertwined and lips touching. Sejeong's embrace is soft, warm and gentle, it feels like home and for the rest of the night they cuddle like they need each other. 

One more. 

Under the stars, Nayoung leans on her. Quiet, the wind whispers, she listens to the sound of her breathing. The drumming of her heart echoing through her bones. Then it comes with parted lips, silver moonlight in her eyes. 

"I love you." 

Nayoung slid off the bench, suddenly feeling restless.

Perhaps she was getting ahead of herself, the only one getting excited over thoughts like these. But she couldn't help it. 

Her affection for Sejeong extends beyond what definitions could provide. 

Write it out, smearing the ink on wrinkled pages back at home.

"Crush--a brief but intense infatuation for someone, especially someone unattainable."

And yet these words were inadequate. They were limiting. Stories from her friends always gave her more questions than answers, and Google was plain useless. 

Not when Sejeong smelled like coffee and sweet perfume. Not when Sejeong felt like a daydream walking next to her. Not when the sounds of Sejeong's dulcet voice washes over in her dreams. 

Nayoung rubbed her eyes, blinking away the chill. 

Not when Sejeong felt like everything she could ever ask for. 

She twindled her thumbs, then pushed up a sleeve to glance at her watch. Time was ticking, it was melting away again. Sejeong was now an hour and a half late. Nayoung slipped out her phone from the back pocket of her jeans and unlocked the device. 

14 messages, 2 missed calls. 

She scrolled through the messages impatiently, feeling a little guilty for not checking her phone. 

I'm gonna be lateeee 

 

God i'm so sorry

 

Traffic omg, is it peak hour--

 

"Hey!" Nayoung looked up from the phone, her gaze fixating on the figure running towards her. Red skull sweater (the usual), black hair cut off from the shoulders, bright eyes, beautiful smile. "I'm so sorry oh my god--" 

Sejeong stopped in front of her, back bent and palms pressing into her knees as she tried to catch her breath. Nayoung lowered her gaze, her lips capturing a smile before she could stop herself. There were bubbles rising in her chest. 

"--did you wait for very long?" 

"No, I just got here too." Nayoung replied, taking a quiet interest in the pretty crown of Sejeong's head. Her hair looked so soft. 

"Really?" Sejeong chirped in surprise, now standing straight, her breath evening out. Beads of sweat slid down the sides of her face but the girl wiped them away quickly with the sleeves of her sweater. Nayoung nodded in response, still smiling and the former broke into a happy grin as well.

"Okay well, oh--" Sejeong paused, her eyes catching onto something. The girl reached out and swiped her fingers over the top of Nayoung's head, brushing away the golden leaves. "--nevermind, I got it for you." 

Another pause. 

 Then without warning, she slipped a hand into Nayoung's, a shy chuckle leaving her lips as she did so, their fingers locking together. Sejeong pulled the latter gently along the pavement. In that instant, Nayoung felt like she had fallen into a daydream, a moment coloured in amber and gold. 

"Okay then, let's go." 

And they walked down the familiar path, cobblestone under their shoes, their legs taking them towards coffee and warm coloured lights.