I'm missing you.

Time has been so cruel to me. Eight months has passed and I'm still thinking of you, sitting alone in our favorite spot. Every single time when I'm here, I recall our last night before you left me. It was dark and cold. Stars were hardly visible because of dense fog. We didn't really talk. We just sat here and we just... were. And after that day, you never came again.

And that's all what you have left. Darkness and coldness. I'm still visiting our place. And that's all you have left.

I'm not feeling sad or mad at you. I feel bitter and lonely. But why would I blame you? Maybe, maybe I hate you now. But how can I stop thinking about you? Honestly, I truly miss you and even if I keep saying that I'll erase you, I know it's not true. It would hurt less than blaming you, although the truth is I can't bear to let you go yet. I could say that where I am without you, it's always winter. My love became winter, so did the weather. 

I'm missing you.

I want to go hand in hand with you and put an end to this winter that I hate so much. I hate it, because you're not here.

We never were a thing. I never was bold enough to tell you how you made my life so colourful. But, Hyuna, weren't we happy? You spent so much time with me that there's no way it meant nothing to you. Yet, you are gone and I can't find you. Maybe if I was the dust and could fly like a snow in the air, I could find you a bit faster. 

I would fly through the air and find you.

I loved how your laugh filled the air, your soft, vibrant laugh that made me smile. Your soft skin shining in the light of the sun, your breath tickling my neck when you fell asleep. Your slender arms around me when you needed warmth. I gave my all to you. And you just took it away before leaving me.

How many sleepless night remain? How much longer do I wait? When can I see you, when can I meet you again?

Can I meet you again? Can I meet spring again?

I'll stay where I am and wait for you. Until the flowers bloom again.

Hyuna, you seemed to be the one for me. The one I love. Tell me, is it you that is different? Or is it really me that is different? I hate every moment that's passing by, because I don't know the answer.

I try to exhale you in pain, like a white smoke. Are you the coldness you have left?

I'm waiting here for you in pain, filled with hope, still painting the same picture with old, dirty brush of love in my mind. Yet there's no water I can clean the brush with, so I could paint over your figure. How miserable I am?

Nights we had spent here together, is it for nothing? Staring at the clouded sky I wonder why my feelings never burnt out. Am I cursed with you eternally?

Since you're not with me here, I have cut down ties with people and I can't enjoy the fullness of life - you've stolen my smile. Will you come back to give it back?

Could you come and hug me once again, do it one more time, hold me tight in your arms, my friend?

You know it all, you're my best friend. Morning will come once again and the winter will turn into the spring. Because there's no darkness nor the season that lasts forever.

Then, the first day of spring has come, as always I came to our favoirte spot where we used to meet. Darkness started to fall a bit later, evenings were embellished with bloody sunsets. The air was fresh, it seemed like a whole new air. The mild wind kept winnowing my hair.

I didn't hear your steps, because I was focused on the sky.

"Jiyoon?"

My spring has finally come.

"You are still coming here?"

I turned around to see you. You wore black shirt, black jeans as well and of course your favorite white running shoes. You looked beautiful as ever. You've never changed at all.

"Yes. Every day."

I saw a wide smile forming on your face. Although, you seemed to be worried. Stressed even. I couldn't loosen my sight from you. 

Eventually, you decided to come closer. You carefully put your hand onto my arm as if you were checking if it's safe to do so.

"Why are you here?" I asked boldly, with note of hesitation in my voice. I was afraid you could never answer me.

"Jiyoon... I-" you sighed deeply, "I'm sorry. I got lost."

I frowned, I didn't know what do you mean. Couldn't you talk to me back then?

You sat on your knees, closer to me. You hand still remained in the same place.

"I got lost in my thoughts, I forgot what I want, where I belong. I know, I have disappeared all of sudden, but deep inside I never wanted to leave you. To lose you."

I listened carefully. Once more, I had that urge to smile like crazy. I heard my muse my heart is beating for.

My spring has finally come. You, that is.

"Jiyoon?" You asked so softly, but not so much that I couldn't hear you.

"Yes, Hyuna?" I kept staring into your brown eyes and my all my feelings had came back, wave of warmth poured my body, I felt the excitment being near to you.

You flicked a strand of my hair from my face and then you put your hands onto my cheeks. You one of my cheeks with your thumb. 

"I'm sorry."

After you said that you pressed your lips to mine, I felt your sweet taste, you took my breath away. And that's how we ended up sitting on our favorite spot kissing passionately.

My spring has finally come. Flowers have bloomed.

And that's when I wake up and understand it was just a dream.

Tears falling down my face. I just looked up in the sky.

Spring never has come, darkness is still here. 

I'm missing you.