ROA

The beeps of the heart monitor echoed through my eardrums. Something I am so familiar with, yet it was the sound that brought me to life. Literally. A needle pricked me, connected to the IV line pressed against my skin. My throat felt like I swallowed pieces of broken glass the last day. I groaned aloud. Frail whimpers escape my lips which reminded my friend that I was still alive. Again. My eyes flickered open only to met with sigh's of the nurse who was considered my only friend. Kim Jisoo, who always seemed to be there when I woke up.

 

"Can't count the days you were here anymore." She said blissfully as it didn't affect her anymore. I was glad, she didn't start off with her nagging.

 

"Neither do I," I replied in the same tone of voice. We were so both so used to this, but it didn't mean it hurt less.

 

A moment of silence sprung. I could tell that Jisoo was disheartened, but she choose to keep shut. Instead she stood up from the stool and pulled out a syringe from the drawer.

 

"Don't bother, I'm leaving anyways." I said hastily despite my coarse voice. She dropped the syringe on her hand. Some weird liquid spilled from it. "I have to go to work. I already missed too much." I blankly explained as her eyebrows noticeably creased.

 

"You already did, Roa." She paused hesistantly. "You were unconsious for three days. It's Thurday today. You can go to work to tomorrow." She then carefully injected something into the IV line. "This is to boost your stamina. Be thankful that I'm not adding this to your hospital bill." I could the slight smirk growing at the corner of her lips. This made me smile at least for a little while.

 

"I suggested to the doctor that you get checked out. He approved. So you can leave once you get dressed." Jisoo placed the my casual clothes on top of the bed. It was clearly washed and neatly folded.

 

"You make it sound like it's the first time, Jisoo." My toes curled, wrinkling the bedsheets. I somehow knew those words were not the best things to say to her.

 

"That's because I want it to be the last, Roa! How many times---" My head dropped loosely. I hugged my knees. Was I shameful? Yes I was. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for raising my voice at you." Her face was painted with remorse, but I hated the look of concern on her eyes more than anything else. I mean why should she be? It was all worthless.

 

"I appreciate it. No need to be sorry. I'm totally fine." Lies. All lies. But so much better than the truth.

 

Jisoo left wordlessly. I changed clothes and packed my stuff. By now, I had noticed the jar of chocolate chip cookies beside my discharge papers. Jisoo's. At least something that I'd live for. I thought before I moved on and signed the discharge papers.

 

The emergency room now almost empty except for the nurse staring strangely at me. I bowed my head at her before the closing the door and finally leaving. I walk through the halls of the hospital before I faced someone who made my blood froze in hatred. The muscles on my face crinkled. I could barely hold the gag in my throat. I blinked feverishly just to see if he was really there, but he was really there because... life was a to me.

 

"Samchon," I called out venomously as if it would kill me.

 

Without saying anything else, he charged to me like a beast. He slapped my cheek so hard suddenly black spots covered my sight. "! You make me pay your ing hospital bills again!" He reeked of alcohol stench. I shuddered. My stomach churned in reponse. I bit my lower lip in utter distaste, so I could stop myself from screaming at him. "What is it this time? Huh? Overdose?" His loud overwhelming voice alerted the nurses as they immediately went to my aid, pulling me away from the devil.

 

"You're right it was overdose. Exactly 10 pills if I may add. I apologize I should've died as you wanted." I spat with so much malice it made the nurses flinch.

 

"Kim Roa!" I heard Jisoo's voice from the corner. Before she could even reach me, I push the nurse out of my way, heading out of the main door. I ran away from the hospital. I harshly wipe away the meaningless tears that began to flow uncontrollably.

 

Once I settled down, I returned to my house. I lived close to the hospital. I thought it was a good idea since I'd usually found myself there. Although, it wasn't a house actually. It was a large shipping container. I couldn't afford a normal house, so the landlords gave me a container instead. I didn't complain, it was the best offer I could've ever have.

 

My eyes trailed to the door. It was unlocked. Like there be anything worthy to steal in here. I scoffed at how ridiculous it was for anyone to tresspass a ty container. I blatantly opened the door. What I saw didn't shock me at all, but I couldn't help sigh at the scene. My step-cousin shamelessly making out with a he proabably met at the club.

 

I banged the door shut, hoping they would be distracted. It would help them remember that the container was someone's elses personal space and that they were obviously invading it. I sat down on a bench near the playground across the my container house, sipping on the beer that tasted extra bitter today. A few minutes later, my so-called cousin came over to where I was sitting. 

 

I faked a cough. "Doesn't it usually take longer finish your parade?" I questioned, adding a sarcastic tone to my voice. 

 

Chanyeol awkwardly scratched the back of his head. "So-sorry, it just that uhm---" 

 

"You were drunk and had nowhere else to do what you did in there." I finished his sentence for him. He says the same thing all the time. It wasn't even funny anymore. Before I dwelling on my own thoughts, I hand him the other can of beer I bought earlier. 

 

"Noona, I'm already drunk." Chanyeol protested with widened eyes. 

 

"Just get what noona gives you, alright?" I playfully smirked at him. 

 

"Only for you, noona." He winked, grabbing the can of beer from my hand. We sit in silence for a few minutes. I finally felt relaxed, letting the cool air embrace me. 

 

I broke the ice. "Chanyeol-ah, don't they always complain that you always bring them to a container?" 

 

He looked confused for a moment. "Who do you mean by they---" It was his turn to smirk. "You mean my angels?" 

 

I scoffed in response. "Angels, my ." 

 

"Why not? That's a perfect name for them. Angels." He started making stranges gestures. "Taking me to heaven-like ecstasy---" 

 

I slapped him hard at the back. "Shut the up, Chanyeol!" 

 

Then he eyed the bandaid on my forearm. All the playfulness drained from his expression and voice. "Where are you coming from, noona?" He didn't need to ask. He already knew. 

 

I played with the tab of the beer can unable to reply. I shifted from his gaze. "Nowhere important," I coughed, trying to change the subject. "Are you finished with your beer?" 

 

My step-cousin shook his head in disapproval. "Noona, you can't keep doing this to yourself." 

 

I dismissed him, rising from the bench abruptly. "I think you're done with your beer, you can go now." 

 

He pulled his iron-clad grip on me. "I just... don't wanna to fear that every that I see you it might be the last time."

 

God. I couldn't take it anymore. The tears exploded. It was killing me, thinking that nothing happened. That everything was going be okay. I pushed Chanyeol off me. I ran and ran, disregarding Chanyeol's calls, not caring what I ran into. 

 

After awhile, I realized that I was soaking wet. Rain was dripping all over my face, concealing my tears. The honking sounds interupted my suffocating thoughts. 

 

"Yah! Get out of the street! What are you doing there?" An ajussi yelled from his car. I ignored him, walking slowly across the street. He would have noticed I wasn't in my right state of mind right now. 

 

"Tsk tsk tsk. Do you have a death wish? Come here!" A random halmeoni approached me with an expression filled with both pity and irritation. She dragged me all the way to the alleyway. The halmeoni took her her cardigan and wrapped it around me. "Youngsters these days," 

 

"Thank you," I murmured before she left. 

 

I sat beside the dumpster depsite the revolting smell that almost made me throw up. I couldn't figure how long I stayed like that. It might have been minutes or hours. Who knows? I couldn't bring myself to stand. I stared blankly at the man across me. I couln't make out his face but he seemed quite tall and built with a muscular frame. His movements were so graceful and quiet I almost wouldn't discover him. He took a glance at me without doing anything he kept walking that's when I noticed a sniper on the empty bridge. The sniper's aim was right at the man I saw.

 

Like instinct, I ran towards him. I hugged him from behind then I heard a loud gunshot then a flood of pain came washing over me, but that was also momentary. Instantly, I out.