I was walking on the shore, barefoot, feeling the cold breeze that I'm beginning to love. I have been walking back and forth for hours trying to knock my head for all the things about me. I can't remember anything the moment I woke up in this island. I can't see anything other than trees, the sand, the vast ocean and the night sky. I still feel restless after probably hours of walking. I lay down on the sand, feeling its cold touch on my back when I saw a figure from far away. It is a man, a tall and slender figure. I sit up straight as he comes closer. Maybe he knows me? Or he's here to rescue me? Or maybe he's also stucked here with me? I don't know but it's quite a relief to see another human in this deserted island.

As his face is becoming clearer, I can see a very handsome and manly figure. I stood up just when he was meters near to me. I was speechless. This guy looks familiar. He.. maybe I know him? My head started to hurt. Then he smiled, a contagious one so I smiled back.

"Aren't you cold?", he asked me while looking at the stars.
"No. This air is actually calming", I answered while looking at his perfect side profile.

We talked, about how beautiful the stars are, how calming to hear the sounds of the waves, how dangerous the forest looks. He makes me smile even if he doesn't look like he's trying. His deep voice is so calming and reassuring. I don't know this man but why do I feel comfortable and safe with him?


"You know, I can't remember anything. Not even my name or why am I here.", I said with a sigh.

He didn't reply. I looked at him but he seems to be deep with his own thoughts so I let it go.


"It's time to wake up now, Mia", he said after moments of silence.

Mia? Who is he talking to? I turned my head to look at him, there are tears coming out of his eyes. He looks like he's in pain. I am starting to get worried. Did.. I say something wrong? I immediately went in front of him to ask him what's wrong when my head started to hurt like hell. It affected my vision, it hurts so much that I lose my balance and fell on my knees. There are figures and voices but I don't know any of them. There are bright lights and people screaming. I saw him, the guy I was talking to. I was about to open my eyes when pain surged through, I screamed. After a minute or ten, I really don't know, it stopped. I was breathing hard, tears started to fall. I am scared. I looked up and saw the guy staring at me with a very sad face while saying, "Mia, it's time to wake up."

It is as if his words were some cold water waking me up in a deep sleep. It all went back. The smile on his face while he was driving, his deep voice singing my favorite song, his stare that I love, his hugs that make me feel safe, the feel of his kiss that makes me weak. It all came back. How can I forget him? The man I love? I hugged him. It didn't change. I still feel safe around his arms. His scent is the most familiar smell I know. I calmed myself. I don't know why I was scared ealier but I'm fine now. He's here afterall.

He looked at me, pushed the hair out of my eyes and wiped my tears. I.. love him. I really do. How can I forget that?

"Mia, it's time to wake up", he said once again.

I am too confused  to answer. Seeing the wrinkles forming on my forehead, he kissed it. I can feel his love for me. I can..

As his lips left my forehead, another memory came back. This time, it's clear. A truck about to hit the one I'm riding, the deafening sound and the blinding light I saw before he covered me..

I am startled. That memory felt real, too real. But that can't be, right? I'm still alive, he's in front of me. That didn't happen..

"Mia, it's time to wake up.", he said while cupping my face, distracting me from my thoughts.
"Look, I am awake, I'm in front of you. You're touching me. I am awake, I am.", I said convincing him. And myself.

He started crying again. It hurts, seeing him cry and worse, seeing him cry without me knowing why. I wiped his tears but they kept on flowing.

"Hey, stop now. I'm here", I told him.

He gave me a sad smile. "I love you. I really do. But you need to wake up now."

"No. No! I'm awake. I am!!", I say as I began to feel tired. I'm starting to panic. I know this feeling. It can't be.

It hit me. Now I know why I was scared earlier. I am scared that this is another one of goodbyes I need to endure, that I need to see him go again and that his words are the reality I need to face.

I'm starting to see myself fade, slowly blending with the air. I can't. I don't want to. I just want to be here, to be where he is, to be jailed in his hugs. I don't want to go anywhere. I need him. I focused on this moment, on his smiling but sad face, on his touch but it's not enough. I'm still fading. No, no. I can't. I don't want to go. Why does it need to end? Why? ....

The sunlight that slipped through my window curtain woke me up. I sat, feeling empty like I did for the past months. I started crying. It has been my routine. Maybe if I cry hard enough, I can put myself to sleep again and see him one more time, talk to him, feel his touch.

It has been two months since that accident, since he saved me. It has been two months since he left me, it has been two months of me being miserable and wishing that I live in my dreams. I took our photo on my bedside cabinet. I can't help but smile seeing how happy we were. I wish I can live in my dreams, where I can still see his face, where I can touch him. In a dream where I can say in his face, "I love you, Baek Juho."