–whenever you've darkened by sadness and your tears overflow

whenever your heart floods with loneliness and begin to waste away

please call out a name – my name

just like how you called mine before

 

so that each of us, walking our individual moments, can keep on smiling

so that we can keep moving forward, exploring the meaning of life together

i'll call out a name – your name

so that you can remain who you are

 

The television is playing in a living room with no one to watch, just for making the quiet environment slightly livelier with the sound of people talking. A few empty cans of beer are messily situated on top of a coffee table and some are lying around on the floor. The door to a balcony is widely open, letting the refreshing night breeze occupy the entire living room as the curtains swaying from time to time.

There, in his own apartment is Sunggyu with his own presence like the previous nights before. Not that he's complaining, but some nights he wishes for someone he can talk to, just to get rid of the loneliness creeping inside of him. With his small eyes fixated unamusingly on the television with no intention to watch, a newly opened can of beer in his hand slowly make its way to his mouth as he drinks in the bitter taste.

He looks around the living room, searching for something to entertain himself for the night until his eyes spot a camera on a shelf next to the television. His expression brightens up as he retrieves the camera before he lounges himself on a comfy two-seater sofa. He turns on the camera and the first picture that comes to life before him is Woohyun's.

And the next one.

And the next one.

Previously, the camera was filled with only magnificent sceneries and breathtaking views of the buildings and random people and even the sunrise from his balcony. But as he goes through the entire picture in the camera, it fills with a figure in various types of cute poses and some are just a silhouette or a back view of Nam Woohyun. That alone is enough to put a genuine smile on Sunggyu's face.

How every smiles of Woohyun tells a different story really makes him indescribably happy in so many ways. There is a picture of Woohyun smiling awkwardly with a V-pose in a moving train. Then, his smile starts to become more sincere and genuine when Woohyun strikes a pose with random kids they meet on a pedestrian bridge. And there is a picture of Woohyun smiling, nothing else than Woohyun looking very beautiful and happy under a blue, vast-expansed sky.

The memories of the younger guy slowly flash back before him as the night grows older. Sunggyu puts down the camera carefully enough to not make any sound as it hits the coffee table and walks to the balcony in a languid manner with the can of beer in his hand.

 

The night breeze blows against him, leaving loving touches on his skin and swaying his black hair side to side. His hair grows longer now; maybe he should get a haircut the first thing in the morning. Sunggyu leans on to the railing of the balcony with his eyes fixated at the picturesque view in front of him. As the full moon brightening the eerily dark night and a few stars twinkling every now and then, the city of lights add more breathtaking touch to it.

Being a photographer himself, it is definitely a view which worth to be taken. But at that time, instead of capturing the beautiful moment into a picture, Sunggyu decides to appreciate it with his eyes and enjoy it with his heart contently. He brings the beer close to his mouth as he takes another sip of the bitter taste. With both of his hands relaxingly placed and his body slightly bends down to put his weight onto the railing, he examines the city thoroughly.

At a corner he spots a small bridge and the lights from the vehicles driving through makes it exuberant despite being slightly hidden because of the darkness. And at that time, he feels his heart constricted with affectionate warmth as it reminds him back at how they first meet each other. One corner of his mouth turns up unknowingly as he remembers the time he spends with Woohyun.

"Woohyun-ah…" Sunggyu started to voice out his monologue expressively.

"You're really a good kid…"

"I like that about you – even when you're having a hard time, you still keep your heads up and be positive about it…"

"You're going to make through your life successfully and beautifully…"

"Don't ever change yourself…"

Sunggyu knows Woohyun couldn't be able to listen to his feelings, but he prays with the help from the stars above, Woohyun could – even with the slightest hope – feel the same way too. His eyes move from the lively bridge at the corner up to the starry sky subsequently as he holds onto the beer tightly before expressing his true feeling.

"I like you, kid."

 

**********

 

       [3 years ago…]

 

11:11

It was the time where many people will never try to miss as they quickly looked at the clock and caught 11:11 at least once in a day. It had been told that it was the time of the day where one should make a wish when the clock strikes 11:11. But no one had told him what kind of wish to make – was it a wish for a stable earning and youthful health? Or was it a wish for everlasting happiness and a loyal romantic love story? If he wished to end his life, to erase his existence and simply to leave this cruel world, there was nothing wrong with it, right? No one had told him how it was supposed to be.

11:12

Even with tears continuously rolling down his cheeks, the night filled with nothing but twinkling stars above him as he stopped himself on the walkway of a bridge. He looked up while leaning on to the railing to see a canopy of luminous stars started to materialize amongst the ocean of black. Some were dull, merely flickering into existence every now and then, but there was an adequate amount of shimmering stars to illuminate the dark, moonless night. The faint wind brushed against his skin as the ripples ruffled the stillness of the Han River below him.

11:13

The sound of the vehicles on the road behind him hummed his sorrowful heart to life. The sound of a couple passed by him slowly whispered jealousy to his one and only presence. The sound of the gentle waves below him alluringly and invitingly knocked on the last fragment of his sanity. If only he had the courage to climb himself up the railing before indulging the thrilling excitement as he went down the height and into the depth of welcoming water, he would have done it. The time seemed to be perfect for him to explore how deep the water was before climbing up the stairway to heaven.

11:14

But, with the little amount of sanity he had at the moment, he didn't have the heart to bring his life to an end. No matter how painful and depressed he felt, he found a ray of hope twinkling with the stars above his head. So, instead of looking down to his feet, he decided to look up above his head. This feeling inside of him, he needed to let it all out because he knew keeping it to himself will only do nothing good to him. The pain will slowly eat him as his sanity crumbles if he doesn't express it out.

11:15

With tears continuously running down his cheeks; with his two hands gripping on to the safety railing tightly; with the pain inside of him constricting his fragile heart, he leaned slightly forward and screamed on the top of his lung. One time. Two times. And for the third time, he stopped on his doings immediately when he felt a sudden sharp flash coming from one side. With tears dangerously at the corner of his eyes; with his two hands slowly loosening the grip from the safety railing; with being surprised overcame the pain inside of him, he stood back on his feet and turned around.

 

There, on the walkway stood a guy with a camera directed to him. The mysterious guy wore a black beanie on top of his head, a sleeveless lime-green vest over an ed purple-checked shirt with a black inner underneath, a ripped, black skinny jeans and a pair of high-cut, worn-out black sneakers. He thought that behind the camera lens would be a stoic-looking guy with possible hidden tattoos judging from the clothes itself, but he changed his first impression when his eyes landed on the pair of small eyes the guy had.

He was not sure the reason why he stopped breathing was because of the shock from the flash or from the guy itself, or maybe both. He didn't say a word as he looked at the guy who had his attention fixed on the camera as he examined the picture taken.

"Hey." He spoke up and wiped away the traces of tears on his cheeks. "What do you think you're doing?"

"It was a moment full of pure emotions, I can't miss it…" the guy said indifferently in monotonous tone before he looked up from his camera. "Looking at you who still have your uniform on, I'm assuming you're younger than me. Call me hyung, kid."

He nodded awkwardly, amazed by how this hyung sounded so charismatic and slightly stern despite his friendly, a guy-next-door look.

"What's your name, kid?"

"Woohyun…"

"Woohyun-ah, were you trying to jump off?" the guy asked with emotionless expression on his face, but he knew the elder guy was decently kind enough to care. He studied the guy, this hyung in front of him carefully before he answered the question.

"I had the intention, but no…" and that alone was enough to catch the guy's attention back to him. A moment of silence crept in the distance between the two of them as they had their eyes in contact. And he thought he was going to be lectured by the elder guy, but the guy showed him a genuine smile instead.

"God, you scared me. I thought you were but then you started screaming…" the guy walked closer towards him before he showed the picture he took. "Look, beautiful isn't it?"

He can say that the picture was beautiful. From a very good angle, a perfect lighting from the streetlights enhanced the beauty of the dark night with brightening stars as the background. And there was him, slightly bending over the safety railing as he screamed. Even though he cannot hear the sound coming from the picture, but the picture was enough to tell him it was a raw and passionate scream.

"Don't worry, I didn't get to take your face." the guy added, probably because he was quiet for a minute.

"It was very beautiful, hyung."

"Of course, people might not know but my photography skill is more than just ordinary." the guy said so himself, shamelessly praising himself but he nodded responsively. He stayed quiet until the guy turned off his camera and gave him his full attention.

"Have you eaten, Woohyun-ah?" the question was out of nowhere; he was surprised by it and probably by how genuinely caring the elder guy sounded like. But just as he was about to respond, the elder guy started to lead the way.

"I know a place selling a very good, high quality meat with affordable price. Let's go."

"Hyung, wait up!" he yelled a little, just enough for the guy to hear him as he jogged to catch up.

"What?"

"It's not fair if you get to know my name but I don't get to know yours…"

"Sunggyu."

 

–60 seconds was enough for this story

you have entered my heart

i don't doubt that you have taken me

in this not-so-short time

you're that kind of a person

 

**********

 

"Sunggyu-hyung, why are you doing this?" Woohyun asked when they were finally seated at a table for two at a corner of the restaurant. Apparently, Sunggyu seemed to be in a very close term with the owner's son because the family greeted Sunggyu with much pleasure. They even gave Sunggyu and Woohyun a very nice spot to witness the whole beautiful interior and a very big window next to them to appreciate the outside view. What was his name again? Sungyeol?

"Uh…" Sunggyu started as he passed the plate with a pair of fork and spoon along with chopsticks to Woohyun. "You're about to kill yourself earlier, I can't just leave you, right?" Sunggyu said indifferently but the concern was enough to make Woohyun fluttered. Woohyun had his eyes on Sunggyu but the elder guy was looking elsewhere.

"Hyung, how come this restaurant is still open?" Woohyun broke the silence while looking at the time on his phone; it's already passed midnight.

"Sungyeol and his family live upstairs. And whenever I drop by, they will always welcome me." Ah… that explains why they were the only customer at this time. Woohyun stayed quiet as he appreciated his surroundings. Sungyeol's parents were preparing their meals behind the counter and Woohyun assumed that Sungyeol was the one washing the dishes in the kitchen because of the loud clattering sound.

Sunggyu was going through the pictures in his camera again. Woohyun didn't have to ask to know how much Sunggyu loved and enjoyed photography as a smile appeared on the elder guy's face.

"So, Woohyun…" Sunggyu called out for the younger guy without giving him a look. "What's gotten into you earlier?" Woohyun knew what Sunggyu was referring to but he was not sure if Sunggyu was trustworthy enough for him to share his problems. He fidgeted on his seat for a second before answering the question while playing the sleeves of his uniform jacket.

"School and stuff…" Woohyun avoided making any eye contact with Sunggyu as he could feel a pair of eyes on him then.

"I see…" Sunggyu looked back at his camera before he directed it to Woohyun and a stuttering sound produced. Woohyun looked up at Sunggyu questionably but as he was about to ask why, Sungyeol came to interrupt them with two bowls of mouth-watering kimchi stew and a large plate filled with edible-sized raw meat. Sunggyu switched on a portable grill pan on the table while Sungyeol served them their meals.

 

Sungyeol then left the two of them alone and as Sunggyu started to grill the meat, he suddenly took off the beanie on top of his head. Woohyun was surprised to see how good-looking Sunggyu was with his black hair cut short and a few shaved lines on the sides. As Woohyun got the time to appreciate Sunggyu's appearance clearly, realization hit him at how much between them.

Woohyun, who had his hair neatly combed in natural color and his appearance clean and tidy, was still in high school while Sunggyu, who dressed up comfortably in many layers of thin clothing and ripped jeans with his short hair shaved, looked like in late 20s.

"Enough with the staring, you should eat up before we go." Woohyun was taken back but quickly picked up the chopsticks to take the freshly grilled meat Sunggyu put on his plate.

"Eat the kimchi stew too…" Sunggyu added and Woohyun obediently followed the order.

"Wait, hyung. Where are we going?" Woohyun asked with his mouth full.

"Feel like skipping school tomorrow?" Sunggyu replied with another question and it left Woohyun speechless. Because he really wanted to, but initially the plan was to stay home for the whole day. He was not sure if he should join Sunggyu or not. Sunggyu was a still a stranger to him, not even an acquaintance but mysteriously his heart told him to take advantage of Sunggyu's kindness.

"Sure." Woohyun answered indifferently, trying to hide his nervousness by eating non-stop.

"Good. Then, we take the night bus to get there…"

Woohyun didn't have a clue on where they were going, but as long as he was with Sunggyu, everything is going to be okay, right?

 

**********

 

"Hyung, seriously, where are we going?" Woohyun kept on asking the elder guy about the location they were heading to but his feet hopped on to the bus without any hesitation.

"That's a surprise. Oh! That's our seats…" Sunggyu said while his eyes subsequently on the numbers of the seats and the bus tickets in his hand. "You should sleep." Sunggyu gestured Woohyun to take the seat by the window. Woohyun took off his backpack to let it cover his laps as he was seated. Sunggyu joined a second later, keeping the tickets inside a pocket of his sleeveless green vest and holding onto his camera dearly.

"But I don't want to sleep, hyung…" Woohyun responded while reaching randomly for something inside of his backpack. As he found what he was looking for, he took out his hand out of the backpack with a pair of earphone.

"You know, hyung…" Woohyun said while trying to untangle the earphone. "Isn't it the best to listen to some songs while on the road?"

Sunggyu hummed with no sign of interest in what Woohyun was talking about. He directed his camera every angle inside of the bus to examine which could get the better picture. He stood up and turned around every corner of the bus until he directed his camera to where Woohyun was sitting and another stuttering sound produced. Woohyun looked to the side, completely aware of Sunggyu taking his picture yet he didn’t question like before. He just let Sunggyu be.

"Hyung, come on. Put that away." Woohyun grabbed Sunggyu's hand to pull the elder guy back to his seat. Sunggyu let himself being dragged to his place and as he was seated down, he took one side of the earphone from Woohyun.

"What kind of song is this?" Sunggyu said with a disgusted expression on his face as he listened to the music. He didn't know Woohyun would like ballad genre and quite opposite from him as he took interest in rock and indie bands. Woohyun could have been offended by how mockingly Sunggyu sounded like but he knew the elder guy didn't mean it that way.

"It's called Wildflower by Park Hyo Shin. How can you not know this song, hyung?"

"I listen to bands..."

Woohyun gave Sunggyu an unbelievable look before he joined the elder guy looking at the pictures in his camera.

"You actually look very good from this angle." Sunggyu said and he pointed to a picture of Woohyun's side profile when the younger guy looked at his phone. Woohyun could feel a triumph air around him when Sunggyu praised him but his confidence shaken a little when Sunggyu added another comment to the picture. "Or maybe it was me who is professionally talented." Sunggyu shrugged like it's-not-a-big-deal and Woohyun almost cursed to himself because some people can be blatantly confident about themselves.

 

They didn’t realize that the bus was already fully occupied with other passengers until the driver started to drive away from the bus station as they were too engrossed in looking at the gallery of photos in the camera.

"Okay, now…" Sunggyu turned off the camera before looking at Woohyun. "Go to sleep."

"I sleep when I want to, hyung…" Woohyun commented and he averted his gaze at the window, seeing absolutely nothing than a dark highway with a significant amount of brightness from the dimly lit streetlights.

"Suit yourself." Sunggyu's voice can be heard in a lackadaisical manner and Woohyun turned around to find Sunggyu was ready to slumber with his small eyes closed. Woohyun took the time to remember every inch of Sunggyu's figure from his moderately slanted eyes with long eyelashes, to his perfectly craved nose bridge, to his very tiny yet inasmuch plump lips, to his slightly V-shaped face with defined jawline.

Just when Woohyun wanted to draw every curve of Sunggyu in his mind, the elder guy fidgeted in his seat before letting his head felt on the side of his shoulder. Woohyun left out a chuckle because Sunggyu was probably uncomfortable under his excruciated gaze. He looked back at the dark highway with his head leaned comfortably on the window and one of his arms on the window ledge.

He could feel a ray of hope growing inside of him despite how darkened and depressed he actually experienced at that time. So, for the first time in so many years, he looked forward for a better tomorrow.

 

**********

 

A sound of frenetic footsteps awakened him from his soundly sleep but he was too lazy to open his eyes as he wished to continue sleeping. But, when he heard a sound of stuttering click coming from a distance that was not very far from him, he knew he had to wake his sleepy self up before Sunggyu could take more pictures of him.

"Hyung…" Woohyun sat up straight, feeling his numb neck aching from sleeping in an uncomfortable position. "Are you a stalker?" Woohyun opened his eyes carefully, just enough to adjust to the brightness of the sun little by little when he found Sunggyu's camera was still directed to him. Another stuttering sound produced but Woohyun couldn't be bothered by it.

"I had to take it because it was beautiful…" Sunggyu's morning voice sounded raw and hoarse. Woohyun looked at Sunggyu who had his eyes on the camera, checking the pictures habitually. But he was too sleepy and couldn't regain his consciousness just yet to comprehend any hidden, possible meaning behind Sunggyu's words.

"We're here…" Sunggyu added and Woohyun followed the elder guy weakly until they hopped off the bus. Without a shade above his head, the sun shined surprisingly bright compared to when he was inside of the bus, so he squinted a little.

"Where are we, hyung?" Woohyun asked when he was fully conscious.

"Busan." Sunggyu responded monotonously while looking around the bus stop to see if there was any mapping board nearby to aid his navigation. Woohyun took out his phone from his back pocket to find it was only 8 in the morning. But the sun shines so brightly already. Or probably it was him who liked to start his day very late whenever possible. Woohyun looked at Sunggyu who was still searching for something before the elder guy spoke.

"Woohyun-ah, there's a drinking fountain at the convenience store over there." and without waiting for Woohyun to say anything, Sunggyu started walking towards the direction.

 

They entered the tiny store and passed by different aisles before reaching the one Sunggyu was looking for. His hand grabbed a packet of two disposable toothbrushes with a decent sized of toothpaste. Next, he grabbed two different kind of canned coffee and two microwavable instant cup noodles before heading to the cashier with much difficulty.

Sunggyu placed the items on the counter with clueless Woohyun on his side and the boy at the counter started to scan and push random buttons before announcing the total amount. Sunggyu paid the exact amount and expressed his gratitude to the boy as he walked to a long countertop with single seater dining stools at one side of the store. He put the plastic of canned coffee and cup noodles on the countertop before signaling Woohyun to take off his backpack and uniform jacket.

"I don't want to get arrested for kidnapping you and whatnot." Sunggyu explained and Woohyun quickly took off his jacket to put it securely inside of his backpack. Sunggyu also kept his camera inside of Woohyun's backpack for the time being.

"Let's head outside first…" said Sunggyu and he didn't forget to take the packet of toothbrushes before walking towards the drinking fountain outside of the store. Woohyun didn't notice it earlier; even though the sun was shining brightly at a quarter passed 8AM but the morning breeze was refreshingly cold against his skin. And the people in the neighborhood were not fully awake yet, other than the elderly who took their morning walk.

Woohyun had the idea but to witness Sunggyu who actually brushed his teeth near the drinking fountain was something he didn't imagine doing before, especially with a stranger in an unfamiliar neighborhood. Or maybe Sunggyu can be considered as acquaintance by now. Sunggyu handed Woohyun a clean piece of disposable toothbrush and the younger guy followed suit.

The two were brushing their teeth quietly while facing each other and when Sunggyu smiled at Woohyun, the younger guy returned the smile. They were smiling at each other until a small amount of toothpaste foam dripped at a corner of Woohyun's mouth.

"You're disgusting." Sunggyu broke the comfortable silence after he spitted out the toothpaste foam on the grassy ground. Woohyun immediately the drinking fountain and cupped the water with his hands to rinse his mouth, also to clean the toothpaste foam on his jaw.

"I didn't know you take hygiene this seriously…" Woohyun responded after he was done rinsing his mouth.

"I didn't know you can be so rude…" Sunggyu added and they both laughed. Sunggyu made sure the drinking fountain was clean like the way it was before and threw the disposable toothbrush into a dustbin inside of the store.

 

They walked inside of the store to retrieve the microwavable cup noodles and headed towards a self-service counter, supplied with a stainless steel kettle and a decently branded microwave. As they made themselves jjamppong seafood and spicy rice cake flavored noodles, Woohyun commented.

"So, this is our breakfast?"

"Be grateful, kid." Sunggyu clicked his tongue. "At least, I'm paying."

Woohyun let out a heartily laugh and Sunggyu subconsciously smiled at the reaction.

"Just kidding. I am thankful, hyung." Woohyun said in between his sets of dorky laughter. "It is fun to see how cute you are when you're irritated."

Sunggyu was somewhat taken back by Woohyun's words because did this kid just said I'm cute? – but Sunggyu managed to keep his composure calm and collected. Sunggyu intentionally showed Woohyun his irritated look with his lips pouted and Woohyun laughed one more time. How old is he exactly to say I'm cute when he is the cute one…

Sunggyu climbed up the high dining stool carefully not to spill any of the jjamppong soup on the floor. He took Woohyun's backpack to place it against the big, display window in front of him before his eyes caught on Woohyun's reflection. The younger guy was walking towards the countertop with two hands holding the noodle cup carefully. And when he reached the stool next to Sunggyu, the elder guy helped him getting the noodle cup on the countertop.

"Hyung…" Woohyun paused for a moment as he climbed up the stool. "Where are we going next?" Woohyun didn't forget to grab two pairs of disposable chopsticks by the self-service counter and gave a pair to Sunggyu. Sunggyu was taking out the canned coffees out of the plastic bag and showed Woohyun which one he preferred but Woohyun just shrugged.

"Anything is fine by me…" Woohyun simply answered.

"Where do you want to go, Woohyun-ah?" Sunggyu asked before he slurped the delicious jjamppong soup with much pleasure.

"I'm not sure. What about you, hyung?" Woohyun considerably asked for Sunggyu's opinion while he tried to open the coffee can. He sipped a small amount of chocolaty caffeine before he stirred the noodles together with the spicy rice cake sauce using a pair of chopsticks.

"I can just walk around and simply take pictures…" said Sunggyu with his mouth full.

"Hyung!" Woohyun called for Sunggyu's attention excitedly as an idea struck him. "What about we go to the Busan Aquarium? I heard it's very popular, even the locals go there…" Sunggyu looked at Woohyun with a glint of surprise in his eyes and his mouth dropped in disbelief. But Woohyun didn't budge with his eyes sparkling in excitement and anticipation. Sunggyu forgot a moment that he was dealing with a high-schooler.  

"You sure you wanna go there?" Sunggyu asked again for confirmation.

"Yeah…"

"Okay. Just make sure you behave yourself. I don't want any trouble."

"Hyung, I'm not a 7-years-old. Don't treat me like one."

 

**********

 

Inside of the Busan Aquarium was nothing extraordinary compared to the others but the attractions were pretty interesting. Sunggyu had to admit his 28-years-old self was having quite a fun and fulfilling time with Woohyun at the place. There were otter feeding time, as well as a family of penguins and sharks too and they participated an event called aquarist talking time.

The other facilities like 4D ride, Glass bottom boat and Shark dive were pretty occupied for early reservations; they didn't have the chance to experience those things. But it was okay since they had plenty of time for an enjoyable walk under the protected, transparent glass walkway where they could see thousands of different fishes in a very close distance.

The entire walkway was giving a very bluish underwater vibe and on one side, there were a few long resting seats. Sunggyu – who had the love for photography – quickly took his camera to capture the moment in a picture form. The beautiful mixture of colorful corals and fishes with the bluish light was really picturesque. He tried taking the pictures from one angle to another but Woohyun was just there, walking slowly as he enjoyed the view around him.

Instinctively Sunggyu directed his camera towards Woohyun's back view and he clicked on the stutter to take quite a lot of Woohyun's candid photos. Woohyun was probably too occupied in enjoying the walk to realize that Sunggyu was starting to take his pictures. Until at one point they reached a very wide display transparent glass with no people at the area other than themselves and the atmosphere was pretty lovely.

There was Woohyun, standing at the middle of the area with different sizes of fishes swimming around and colorful corals lying on the sandy ground on the other side of the transparent glass. It was beautiful beyond words; Sunggyu had to put down his camera to etch the scenery before him to his memory instead. Woohyun was beautiful – even in a white buttoned-up, long sleeved shirt and brownish common-looking uniform trousers – Sunggyu realized that but there was no way he was going to tell.

"Hyung…" Woohyun called out for him. Sunggyu walked closer towards Woohyun and the pair of Woohyun's eyes didn't leave him until he was next to the younger guy.

"Beautiful isn't it?" Woohyun asked, with his eyes fixated on the transparent glass.

"Yeah…" Sunggyu replied, with his eyes on Woohyun.

 

**********

 

Woohyun was by far from being oblivious because he noticed every single change of one's state of mind. And that included Sunggyu's long stare and his aversion of attention away from Woohyun. He had to admit that Sunggyu started to act this way when they were at Busan's Aquarium. But instead of freaking out over a stranger's crystal clear interest in him, Woohyun found his cheeks tingled pink and his heart beat intensively.

Despite the change that happened, the silence between them was still comfortable, or probably more pleasurable than before. Woohyun somehow knew for a kind-hearted person like Sunggyu, his intention was authentically genuine and it was probably a common thing to feel inasmuch appreciative attraction towards the elder guy. So, Woohyun just let himself experience the overwhelming foreign emotions inside of him. It was a once-in-a-lifetime thing, right?

Woohyun looked from where the stuttering sound came from to find Sunggyu's camera directed to him again. He was comfortable by now, how Sunggyu openly took his picture. But, for the elder guy to do so in a moving train with the amount of passengers in the carriage, Woohyun felt shy and embarrassed.

"Sunggyu-hyung, stop that. People are looking." Woohyun said as he examined the atmosphere. He didn't want to enjoy Sunggyu's company in the public eye. He wanted Sunggyu's attention all to himself without any wandering or judging look.

"Okay, okay." Sunggyu replied. "Last one. Pose, Woohyun-ah…"

"Hyung..." Woohyun whined but Sunggyu encouraged him that it will be the last one before they went out of the moving train. Woohyun complied as he posed with a V-signature and an awkward smile. 

There was a group of teenage girls and they were secretly chuckling at them. Thank goodness they reached their stop a minute after that.

 

They stepped out of the carriage carefully and Woohyun looked around to find Sunggyu walking in a slow pace as he examined the camera again. Only a pure and innocent intention without any hidden meaning, Woohyun grabbed Sunggyu's hand and dragged the elder guy out of the train station. Woohyun kept his focus on the walkway as they headed towards a pedestrian bridge until Sunggyu held their hands tightly together.

Woohyun turned around and of course, there Sunggyu was, walking as he was getting dragged by Woohyun with a camera directed to him.

"It's a trend now and I would like to try it…" Sunggyu simply gave out an excuse to his action as he showed Woohyun the picture. It was a picture of their hands held together while Woohyun facing the front. But instead of a very attractive landscape as the background, it was a normal walkway in a neighborhood with blue sky on top. Nothing special, but it was special enough to make two guys' hearts beat faster than usual.

"Let's…" Sunggyu cleared his throat nervously. "Let's walk there before we go back."

Woohyun simply nodded as he walked next to Sunggyu.

They climbed up the stairs to the pedestrian bridge and the wind blew against them was very welcoming. The huge bridge looked spacious since there was only a few pair of couples at that time and Woohyun smiled to himself unknowingly by the fact that he was there with Sunggyu. His eyes searched for Sunggyu's figure to find the elder guy was obsessively taking random pictures.

Woohyun stopped at one spot in the middle of the pedestrian bridge and he leaned down on to the railing to appreciate the evening view. There was nothing other than lanes of roads below them but the fully blossomed trees along the street overflowed with life and vitality. Compared to when he was questioning himself at the bridge of Han River, this very moment was completely the opposite. If he wanted to end his questionable life last night, right now he wanted nothing else than just to live.

The white noises coming from the vehicles below the bridge and the sound of birds chirping above him were very calming.

As Woohyun appreciated the beautiful moment, a group of elementary kids suddenly broke the silence to life. Woohyun turned around to see the kids' whereabouts and there they were, talking very loudly not very far from where he was standing.

"Hi kids." Woohyun started a conversation in a friendly manner and the kids turned to look at him.

"Hello." The kids looked at Woohyun with curiosity but in an approchable way.

"How old are you?" Woohyun asked as he patted one of the boys' head. The boy looked at him shyly and didn't do anything than inviting Woohyun's kind approach.

"I'm 11 years old." said the boy.

"Why are you here? Aren't you supposed to be at home?" Woohyun asked in an obvious worried tone but as the kids can answer him, Sunggyu interrupted.

"Woohyun-ah…" Sunggyu called out. Woohyun looked up to Sunggyu to find him gesturing them for a group photo. Woohyun slightly bent down to match the kids' height and they all gladly posed for the picture. As Woohyun bid them goodbye and advised them to go back home, Sunggyu was smiling looking at the picture.

"Hyung, why are you smiling like that?" Woohyun closed the distance as he tried to take a peek on the picture too.

"It was cute…" Woohyun saw the picture and Sunggyu was right. The picture was very heartwarming to see, but Woohyun wondered who was Sunggyu referring to.

"Let's go." Sunggyu broke the close distance between them as he walked towards a beach on the other side of pedestrian bridge.

 

The cumulonimbus clouds floated high on the blue sky above the vast-expansed sea were fluffy and soft-looking. The evening sunlight reflected on the wavy surface of the sea broke down into smaller fragments of white lights. The sound of crashing waves by the shore was very soothing and pleasing to hear. The seawater swam in between Woohyun's bare feet and washed away his footprints on the sandy surface.

Sunggyu was standing observingly not far from the younger guy, still with his camera as he captured every angle of the breathtaking landscape. But, he took another quiet moment from taking any picture when his pair of eyes landed on Woohyun's figure. With a smile on his face, with growing warmth in his heart, he walked towards Woohyun in light steps.

"Woohyun-ah…" Sunggyu stopped to take off his sneakers before he joined Woohyun for a short walk.

"Sunggyu-hyung…" Woohyun simply responded and when the elder guy was standing next to him, they started walking. The seawater was swimming in between their bare feet and Woohyun found it personally special to him. The silence was comfortable like always; with a little touch of the calming sound from the crashing waves, it was healing. Woohyun was miraculously healed and with Sunggyu close to him, he didn't ask for more.

"Woohyun-ah…"

"Yeah, hyung?"

"I'm glad you didn't jump off." Woohyun looked to his side to find Sunggyu having his attention fixed on the sandy ground. It was cute to see Sunggyu dressed up in many layers of clothing even though it was spring. The camera was hanging loosely around Sunggyu's neck as he swung his sneakers back and forth and Woohyun found himself smiling contently.

"What would you do if I jumped off, hyung?" It was Sunggyu's turn to look at him and they walked rhythmically with their eyes in contact.

"Well, I would call the police or for any help…" Sunggyu said while shrugging his shoulder indifferently.

"Wouldn't you jump after me…?"

"I'm still sane, silly..." Sunggyu nudged Woohyun's side gently and Woohyun chuckled by the action. "But, I will regret then for being incapable of saving you." And it was enough of an excuse for Woohyun to hold their unoccupied hands together.

"Thanks, hyung."

"You didn't have to thank me. It was you who didn't jump off the bridge…"

"But who knows if I might if it weren't for you…" Woohyun didn't know how he can be so brave staring into the depth of Sunggyu's eyes when the emotions he felt intensified. And Sunggyu may felt the immense amount of tension coming from Woohyun's gaze, so he looked away.

"There is so much for you to learn, Woohyun-ah…"

"I know…"

"You will regret if you end your life that way and you're still young, so…"

"I get your point, hyung…" Woohyun gave their clasped hands a firm grip. "Thank you."

 

**********

 

       [Present day…]

 

"What happen after that?" Hoya asks and Dongwoo who is sitting next to Hoya gives him a look with anticipation.

"We went back to Seoul and separated our ways." Woohyun answers very lightly as if it doesn't hurt him one bit. Woohyun plays with a mug, swirling around the freshly brewed coffee in a gentle manner. The café is very relaxing and warm compared to the cold winter outside. Even the layers of clothing and coat he wears can't keep him warm enough.

It is supposed to be a day where Woohyun spends the time to himself alone in a shared apartment, but Hoya wants him to join his late night date with Dongwoo. Not that he complains or anything. He is very close to Hoya and knowing Hoya for a year since their first year in university, he comes to know Dongwoo, a senior one year apart from them. Hoya doesn't really talk about his personal life, but he soon finds out his housemate has a crush on their senior.

Woohyun was not aware of Hoya and Dongwoo's relationship until one day, he caught them kissing outside of their apartment's door. He had a couple of month to entertain himself by teasing Hoya about the kiss. He didn't know Hoya could be shy compared to how tough he looks.

Dongwoo is pretty much the opposite of Hoya but Woohyun likes how they complete each other like a missing piece to a puzzle. Hoya is a manly guy so he is in denial or at least doesn't want to admit it while Dongwoo proudly tells people like Hoya is his greatest achievement in life.  

"Hyun-ah…" Dongwoo called, breaking Woohyun's long thought. "Don't you want to see him again?" Dongwoo's voice is very gentle as if caressing carefully over his wound. Hoya is also looking at him with curiosity.

Woohyun sighs. "It's not that I don't, but it's probably the best to let it be… It's a once-in-a-lifetime thing after all…"

"Well, don't you wanna make Sunggyu your entire lifetime?"

Hoya cringes at Dongwoo's question for a second before giving the elder guy a disbelief glare. Dongwoo is being Dongwoo when he laughs it off while leaning dangerously close to Hoya. Woohyun hears his housemate mutters you're-unbelievable under his breath but he can see a delighted smile on Hoya's face after that.

"I do, but I don't think it's gonna be easy." Woohyun replied before sipping in the caffeine.

"Do you know where he is?" Hoya asked when Dongwoo was too occupied in hugging Hoya's arm, seeking for some kind of warmth. Woohyun doesn't mind the public display affection; he finds it cute especially coming from the couple sitting in front of him. He doesn't know how but Hoya tries his best to comply with Dongwoo's habit towards having skinship.

"From what Sungyeol told me, he got transferred to Jeonju for his work."

 

Speaking of the devil, Sungyeol is now handling this café with his boyfriend, Myungsoo. Woohyun doesn't know much of their love story since Sungyeol is not his friend to begin with. But one night when he went to the restaurant again after the time he went with Sunggyu, Sungyeol started to take care of him. They become close since that night but because of Woohyun's packed schedule, he can't go to the restaurant frequently.

Maybe once a month or two.

Still, that is enough to make them in contact and when Sungyeol tells him he's going to open a café with his boyfriend, Woohyun couldn't be happier about the news. Woohyun told Hoya and his football club members to come to the café on the opening day and the result was very promising. Look at them now; the café is totally a hit.

Come to think of it, Woohyun doesn't know how old Myungsoo is. He is sure that Sungyeol is around Sunggyu's age, more or less than that but he doesn't have a clue about Myungsoo. Well, Myungsoo is very good-looking, so age don't matter at this point. The reason why the café have a lot of female customers is because of Myungsoo's visual. Isn't that obvious?

Woohyun looks at the counter to find Sungyeol and Myungsoo having a sweet moment to themselves. Thank goodness, they are the only customer at that time.

"Well…" Hoya started after he witnessed Sungyeol and Myungsoo not-so-hidden kissing scene behind the counter. "Let's go and find him there. Ask Sungyeol for details."

"And we're coming along too." Dongwoo said happily and he started jumping around on his seat excitedly at the thought of it. Hoya calms Dongwoo down by grabbing his chin firmly and leaning in close to leave a quick peck on the elder guy's plump lips. Woohyun chuckled at the amount of kissing he sees in a short amount of time.

"Whatever you say…" Woohyun sipped in the coffee until the last drop. "I don't know if it's gonna work out." Woohyun stands up and doesn't forget to grab the hot packs before hiding his cold hands from the cold inside of the coat's pockets.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going to drop by a place first." Woohyun shouted without looking back at his friends. He sure knows when to leave the couples some space to themselves.

 

11:07

The ambience of this place is quite different than 3 years ago. But the night is still the same with the twinkling stars above him as he stops himself on the walkway of the same bridge. He leans on the railing while enjoying the art on the night sky. Some are dull, merely flickering into existence every now and then, but there is an adequate amount of shimmering stars to illuminate the dark, moonless night. The faint wind brushes against his skin reminds him of when they were at the beach in Busan. The ripples ruffles the stillness of the Han River below him is eerily beautiful.

11:08

The sound of the vehicles on the road behind him hums his healed heart with life. The sound of a couple passes by him slowly grows warmth inside of him even to his one and only presence. The sound of the gentle waves below him alluringly and invitingly calm to his pair of ears. He thank to the divine force above for giving him enough sanity to not climb up the railing before indulging the thrilling excitement into the depth of welcoming water 3 years ago. The time seems to be perfect for him to explore how life mysteriously gives a lesson to learn.

11:09

He knows now, no matter how painful and depressed he feels sometimes, he can find the hope twinkling with the stars above his head. Instead of always look down to his feet; he keeps his head up and appreciates the beauty of life. The feeling inside of him that sometimes knocking his sanity, he knows how to handle it and how to not let it control him. He owns his emotions, therefore he has the absolute control of it. Even if the longing for Sunggyu will slowly eat him, he knows better than anyone else that nothing can be done.

11:10

With a satisfying smile on his face; with his two hands gripping on to the safety railing tightly; with the bearable yearning inside of his matured self, he leans slightly forward and screams on the top of his lung.

 

"Kim Sunggyu!"

 

One time.

 

"Kim Sunggyu!"

 

Two times.

 

And for the third time, he screams out the loudest he can.

 

"I love you!"

 

11:11

If it was 3 years back, he would question himself what to wish when the clock strikes 11:11. Is it a wish for a stable earning and youthful health? Or is it a wish for everlasting happiness and a loyal romantic love story? If he has one wish in his entire lifetime that will come true, he will wish for Sunggyu to be by his side, always. Since Sunggyu has a life-changing impact on him, he wants to change Sunggyu's life too. He wants to be someone's important to Sunggyu and he wants Sunggyu to be the same way to him.

That is his only wish.

 

–even if everything falls down

eventually in my heart

i can't erase you

if you call this love

i will nod, nod, nod, nod

 

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[A/N]​​​​​ idk what happen actually, but I hope you guys like this. I want to write a continuation to this but I don't know when will that happen, so...