Somewhere in Jeonju …

 

 

Enjoying the mild breeze and the starry night sky, Taeyeon leaned on the rail in the balcony and looked around at the peaceful scene in front of her. It’s only half an hour and the sky would be filled with colorful fireworks. She misses her hometown, how she ran on the street when she’s still a kid, or how her friends always fetch her every afternoon to play tag in the nearest park, how she always go in the balcony to think things over or just draw. She then realized that she’s not young anymore, fame took her away from her childhood, but it also lead her into something worth living with, sisterhood.

 

Speaking of sisterhood, Taeyeon smiled automatically just by thinking about the ‘dorks’, they had been through a lot last year, though she can say that it was a rather successful year for them and for her, with the members individual schedules to groups, their 4 songs (CMIYC, Party. Lion Heart and You Think) that top different music charts, the release of their comeback album, solo album for her, another comeback album for TTS, ‘Best Female Group’ award from MAMA and their ‘Phantasia’ concert.

 

Then memories took over, the moment she met 8 girls that will be part of her life not only for a moment but for the rest of her life. How they trained together to be the very best. How they blossomed from a nobody to somebody. How they worked hard to give people the happiness they want. How they handle life with much difficulty but full of curiosity and adventure, knowing that they have each other. Being away from their parents, families and friends. Sometimes she wonders, ‘what if I didn’t become an idol? What if Kim Taeyeon is just an ordinary girl? What will happen?’

 

Her life was difficult, their life was and it will always be. But no matter what happens, no matter how many times she thinks of giving up, she doesn’t have the courage to, because she will never let go of the most precious gift she received, love.

 

It made her think about her relationship with Sunny. Her cute little bunny, her energy pill, the love of her life, Lee Soonkyu. It was difficult at first, admitting to herself that she’s indeed in love with a girl, knowing that the country she lives in is sensitive about the matter of ‘homouality’. She saw how her friends battled with the same feeling. Living with the same people and same gender for more than a decade only gave them more confusion. But she asked herself, ‘Am I confused? No. Does it need to happen? No. Do I want this to happen? YES.’ She love Soonkyu and it will never change.

 

Taeyeon then put a hand inside her coat’s pocket and held into something inside, she held her head up and she had her eyes closed, as if praying or saying her wish for New Year. She made up her mind, she just made one decision that will change her life completely, for the better, for her happiness.

 

Then she felt a pair of arms wrapped around her waist, a body against her back, a chin on her shoulder and a familiar sweet scent. She smiled as she enjoy the warmth that the person gave her.

 

“What are you doing here alone Taengoo?”

 

“Just thinking things…You?” she answered still with her eyes closed.

 

“I was looking for you”

 

“Why?”

 

“There will be fireworks soon” Sunny answered with a hint of sadness.

 

Taeyeon smiled, she opened her eyes and then turn around to face Sunny. She cupped the younger girl’s face and give her a peck on the lips.

 

“Fireworks can’t hurt you as long as I’m around” and then she gave another kiss on Sunny’s lips and then another one.

 

Sunny smiled, Taeyeon knows her very well and sometimes she feel guilty. She knows that Taeyeon also have her fears and problems, but since she doesn’t want to burden the others, she keeps it to herself and deal with it alone and then Taeyeon comfort her whenever she’s scared or in pain. She then realized that for almost 5 years of being with Taeyeon, the girl is quite secretive, she doesn’t openly tell something, she would rather keep it to herself. If you are wondering how they got together, it’s because of Taeyeon’s diary, and because the girls went ‘Detective Conan’ on their dear leader and because actions speaks louder than words.

 

Taeyeon saw Sunny’s eyebrows twitch, a sign that there is something on her bunny’s mind.

 

“What are you thinking?” she asked.

 

“What are you afraid of?” Sunny answered with a question.

 

Taeyeon looked at Sunny, studying the latter’s face for the thousandth time, she never gets tired of Sunny’s face, for her, it is the most beautiful, the most precious, the only face she wants see the moment she wakes up and the last she will see before she goes off to her dreamland, still about Sunny of course.

 

‘This is the face of the girl I want to marry and have kids with, this is the face of the girl that I will cherish for the rest of my life’

 

“I’m afraid of losing you…”

 

Sunny didn’t expect Taeyeon to answer with much sincerity, but base on how Taeyeon said those words as if her life depends on it, she felt weak, she expect Taeyeon to say that she’s afraid of rats, or spiders or snakes. And then they would laugh about it. But she didn’t.

 

Taeyeon’s statement made Sunny a little bit frozen, she doesn’t know if that is because of the cold night’s breeze or it is because of how Taeyeon looked into her eyes as if she can see her soul. Somehow Sunny waited for Taeyeon to continue, she won’t let this moment slip, it’s time for her to know the things that Taeyeon is afraid to say, but the next turn of events surprised her even more. Taeyeon dropped on her knees and presented Sunny a red velvet box, inside is a simple diamond platinum ring.

 

“I can’t imagine a minute without you, I don’t know how my life would be if I didn’t know you, if I didn’t fall in love with you, if I didn’t have you. I wan’t to be with you, take care of you, laugh with you, cry with you, do the things you want, give everything you need. I know that this will be hard for us, but I don’t care about what the society will say as long as I have you, I know that everything will be okay. I will make you happy, I will love you with all my heart, with all my mind and with all my soul. I will tell the world how much I love you, that you are mine. I will whisper that to you every time I have a chance because you are my world Soonkyu. You mean the world to me, this sound cliché but you gave meaning to my life, you showed me what love is, you made me feel, you made me believe in love. We may not be with each other forever but I want to spend my entire life with you. Lee Soonkyu... will you spend the rest of your life with a dork like me? Will you be my wife? Will you be the mother of my kids? Will you marry me?”

 

During Taeyeon’s speech, Sunny didn’t notice that they were both crying. Sunny can’t speak, but she didn’t want Taeyeon to wait, Sunny nodded her head vigorously while crying. Taeyeon stood up and held Sunny in her arms, she captured the shorter girl’s lips and they shared a passionate kiss, no words can describe how the two of them feel. So they just let their heart do the talking.

 

Fireworks soon colored the sky, but Sunny didn’t mind it, she felt safe in Taeyeon’s arms, in Taeyeon’s eyes, in Teayeon’s heart. She knows the consequences of their decision but they are willing to take the risk, because everything is worth fighting for, Taeyeon is worth fighting for, what they have is worth fighting for.

 

There are so many words that Taeyeon left unspoken, but those words were soon spoken and they open their heart even more to face new beginnings.

 

 

 

 

---

I miss SunYeon.