The sun was slowly rising and still Suho was struggling with his sleep. Promotions had just started, he was supposed to be thinking about how to do a good job at those ten thousand variety shows, photo shoots and performances they had on their schedule for the next couple of months, but all he could think about was Gaeul Min. It had been three weeks since they were apart and there was not one single day he hadn't thought of her. "This is ridiculus", he mumbled to himself in the dark and turned to the other side.

He was the one who broke up. He was so sure about it until he actually said the words. How, how on earth could he had been so sure about something and just change his mind the moment he had it? She didn't cry and probably that just made it all worse since she reacted the opposite of what he was expecting her to. He'd rehersed the entire scene in his head before he asked her out to eat sushi that night.

"Look, I'm sorry, but honestly, I can't do this anymore. I tryied, I really did, but I can't, I'm really sorry. We should break up". She didn't even blink. 

As soon as he'd walked out of the door, he felt like he was going to regret it, but he tried to fight it. After all, he wasn't doing that to feel guilty, he did it to feel free. Ok, maybe the feeling of freedom wasn't going to show up the first few days. Or weeks. It would be there eventually. 

But until that moment, he had failed miserably at feeling free. All he could do was miss her. Miss that little sound she always made when she was eating something delicious; how she would clap when she found something funny; her soft and warm tighs around him when they took a nap on the couch. 

"Oh come on, really, just let me sleep", he complained again and covered his face with the pillow. 

Eventually, he gave up sleeping for good and went on the balcony for some fresh air. He wanted to wake up Kyungsoo, maybe he needed to hear a way too honest advice to finally get over it. Just as he was considering if Kyungsoo would punch him too hardly because he was woken up this early in the morning, there was knocking on the door. "Now you can read minds?", Suho welcomed him and went outside the suite to not wake up Sehun, who was still sound asleep. "Hyung, I think Gaeul made something stupid", the younger announced and handed over his phone to Suho. 

Suho's heart felt like it was going to crawl right out of his chest. "You've got be kidding me", he sighed. 

For the rest of the day, Suho was just not himself. The company already released an official statement, so he didn't have to say anything at all, if he didn't want to. But honestly, for the first time he actually wanted to. He wanted to just let everything out, tell the world that this was the worst mess he's ever gotten into. 

But most important, he had to talk to Gaeul. 

The adrenaline rush was so hard, he literally couldn't remember how he got to her apartment.

"You could have called, you know?", Gaeul said when she opened the door. Yes, he could have called, but he wanted to see her. He could have called, but she could have played cool and somehow find her way out of their encounter. He could have called, but then he wouldn't be able to use this as an excuse to also skip that awkward interview - he set a note on his phone so he would not forget to pay his manager a meal for getting him out of there with the excuse of a dermatologist appointment. 

Specially, if he had called, he wouldn't see it with his own eyes that she actually meant what she wrote, no matter how much she was probably about to deny. Her face spoke to itself: she was a mess, just like himself. 

"I know... I... we were so busy with our schedules today, it was kind of last minute". 

She silently made him a gesture to come in. For a moment, there was just silence between the both of them. Gaeul felt so many mixed emotions at that point, she was sure that's how people get crazy and loose their minds. Could he at least look a little bit less amazing? There she was, her hair a mess, her head still pounding, the clothes not matching because she had only one clean shirt and still tasting the vomit mixed with wine, even after she'd brushed her teeth, like five times. And he looked like straight out of a fashion show. Also, that white shirt he was wearing was way too tight, she was almost telling him to keep his coat on inside. 

"You look awfull", he finally said and surprisingly Gaeul laughed. "Thank you, that was exactly what I expected you to say", she answered and he looked apologetic. "I'm so...", he started, but she interrupted him. "I got it, it's fine. Besides, you are right anyways, I looked straight out of a dumpster... Last night was a mistake at all levels", she said and let herself fall on the couch. "I didn't mean to publish that and I am truely sorry about the trouble it caused you". 

He sat down next to her. "So... why... Why did you do it?", he asked in such a low tone, he wasn't even sure she heard it. "I don't know, to be very honest. I was at that stupid interview that was supposed to be about my new book", she started. "So you are finally publishing it?", he asked, honestly curious. "Now there is probably where all the mess started: I'm not. I haven't even written a single word. It's still just that one chapter that I don't seem to get further because, you know, seems like you can have a writer's block for months. And then I just got frustrated and then that host asked me if we where still in touch and if there is something about you in the story and then I just got home and started to furiously drinking cheap wine until I dropped half dead on the carpet. In between all that, somehow the stupid letter happened", she spilled it out so fast, she didn't even stop to breath properly. 

She stood up and leaned on the window for fresh air. "What are you doing here, oppa?", she then asked quietly. "I know it's not just about my drunk letter, just spill it out already". 

"I'm still in love with you and breaking up was a mistake", he answered straight foward and Gaeul stared at him honestly surprised. 

"What?"

"I mean it"

"No, you don't". She was suddenly angry, but that could be just because she was still a little drunk from last night, after all, she was an angry drunk. "Don't you dare -" "I love you, Gaeul", he said and held her by the shoulders. As they stared at each other, Gaul started to tear up. "I haven't changed one thing. Every single reason you had to leave me is still there. Nothing's changed. Don't do this to me, don't do this to yourself", she wined and he wiped a tear from her face with his thumb. "I shouldn't have left in the first place". 

"This is ridiculus", she said and pushed him away. "I mean, honestly, did you think this was going to work? I mean, just give me one good reason why we should get back together", she dared him and he didn't even have to think twice about how to answer that. He took her small face in between his hands and sealed their lips. It took them a long time to be apart again. 

"Ok, that is a very good point", Gaeul said, a bit out of breath and lightheaded. Suho giggled and kissed her again. "Just to make sure you understand my point", he explained and it was her time to smile. But it didn't last long and she put on her serious face back. "How do I know you are not going to leave me again?", she asked, not to hurt him, but because she really wanted an answer to this. "I'm still helpless, oppa. I really don't know if I can be supportive this time". "Don't. Just don't think of it. I'm going to make it up to you, I promise. I won't go anywhere", he afirmed and held her close into his embrace. "Gaeul, would you give me another chance?", he asked, also honestly wanting an answer. "Just to make things clear here: this wasn't what I wanted out of that stupid letter", she said and he laughed out loud. "I really wasn't thinking about it anymore, but ok, if you are saying so", Suho said and pulled her closer. "The only thing I think I wanted was to wipe that smile off that MC's face, I mean, how dare he ask me about you with that pretty face? He didn't even try to hit on me, all he could think about was you while I looked so fabulous in that profissional made make-up", she explained and he laughed again. "He interview me once, too. He is really super pretty, I would have been upset, too", he made her laugh before they kissed again.