Jinyoung,

I woke up from a dream just a stone’s throw away. It felt surreal. It was warm and fuzzy. It felt too real.
Never would have I imagined seeing you there. Somehow I find it peculiar and endearing at the same time.
The funny part was, I was brave enough to do it there. We’ve known each other for more than two years now but I’ve always loved you in secrecy.

I kept it all in. Every time I was with you I always felt flustered to an extent that I always find myself daydreaming.
I don’t know much about how you feel for me but I know for sure that I’m special to you in a way.
I remember one incident in particular, that day your laptop was broken and you asked me to accompany you to the IT department to have it checked.
From our office we both strolled towards our destination without a care in the world. Then and there I knew you had rocked my world.
In the midst of all my aspirations and rejections, all the bizarre things that crept up behind me and what not, I just saw you.
I had a tunnel vision and you were the only one I saw. Nothing more.
When we both got there and you turned in your laptop we were asked to wait. We spoke a bit unusual that day.
While waiting, out of nowhere, we held each other’s hand. My right met your left. I felt a blaze lit up in me. It was the first time I felt so happy that it actually hurt.
You were like sunshine succumbing me with your bright light. That was the day I knew you were the one I’d cherish. Always.

Cut to now in the dream I had, you were lying on your back asleep. The blanket was up to your face as if you were hiding.
I slowly peeled it off your face and without any hesitation, I kissed your lips. A few seconds went by and I saw you crack open your eyes.
I was ready to be slapped or humiliated by you. Instead you kissed me back. What started as a simple kiss turned to a passionate one.
After the kiss we both stared at each other’s eyes a small but tender smile grew on our faces.

It felt real. Perhaps too real. You will always be, for me, the one beyond the horizon.

Someday, when my fear no longer restricts me. I will tell you how I really feel. 

Somehow, I wish for it to be later than now when my heart can take the happiness or my mind, the rejection.

Someday, I hope I’ll have the guts to show you my raw and true self. 

Someday.

Love,

Jaebum

After writing the letter, it was folded thrice widthwise. The author took a deep breath and opened the top left drawer of his study table and put the letter there.

“Someday, Jinyoung, someday.”, he cracked a sad smile seeing his drawer almost overflowing with a pile of letters he wrote for his best friend.